"... or lost wages and emotional distress.
The man, Kevin Berling, had been working at a medical laboratory, Gravity Diagnostics in Covington, Ky., for about 10 months when he asked the office manager not to throw him a birthday party because he had an anxiety disorder, according to a lawsuit filed in Kentucky’s Kenton County Circuit Court....
Mr. Berling had a panic attack after he learned about the planned lunchtime celebration, which was to have included birthday wishes from colleagues and a banner decorating the break room. Mr. Berling chose to spend his lunch break in his car instead.
The next day, Mr. Berling had a panic attack in a meeting with two supervisors who confronted him about his 'somber behavior,' Mr. Bucher said. He was fired three days later in an email that suggested that Mr. Berling posed a threat to his co-workers’ safety...."
The legal claim was discrimination based on disability. The company's legal position seems to be both that it wasn't informed of Berling's disorder and that the condition was not a disability within the meaning of the law.
What should you do if you have an anxiety disorder and risk getting triggered by workplace interactions?
Berling struggled to control himself, at one point pushing his closed fists against his chest, which seems to have caused coworkers to fear him. There are incidents of workplace violence, so can't management fire people who seem like they might snap?The article quotes a mental health counselor: "Social anxiety can... get triggered in the workplace when interacting with managers and co-workers becomes expected. If an employee is uncomfortable and feels anxious by having a birthday party in their honor or taking part in a celebration for others, then they should be allowed to opt out from it."
Should we reconsider birthday celebrations in the workplace? I suspect only a minority of office employees like these things, and extroverts fail to appreciate how much of a burden they can be to introverts and many others. Oh, why limit it to the workplace? Maybe in the future, all celebrations will be deemed too burdensomely intrusive on sensitive people. It's funny, Berling was fired because his co-workers saw him as a potential aggressor, but they were, it seems, by his lights, aggressing on him.
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45 comments:
I never liked birthday parties at work. The HR types are always looking for an excuse to eat cake.
I’d expect a verdict like that from California. But Kentucky?
Faux workplace social bonhomie is provided, even insisted upon, by management to foster an attitude of team spirit, familial responsibility, and group solidarity among coworkers. This is done solely to help management demand extra duties, without additional compensation, of their employees.
Jim is out sick? Susy gets to do double her normal workload, rather than manager Tim stepping in to do Jim's work.
Sam doesn't show for his Saturday shift? Everyone on their "days off" are subject to demands to work by management.
Rather than have staff levels sufficient to handle normal work absences, existing staff is required to show team spirit, familial support and group identity for management's convenience.
As to ADA acommodations for mental issues, I note that this worker objected solely to the non-work related socialization required of him, and nothing related to his actual job. Eff management for not accepting his request for such a simple thing as not to do something really annoying to him.
Not discussed here is what "panic attack" actually meant.
The summary is that he scared his coworkers.
I've seen some major misbehavior summarized as a "panic attack" when "went off on everyone over some unintended disrespect" would be a better description. Where "went off" consisted of extremely hostile verbal attacks and near-psychotic accusations.
That's scary. No one wants to work around such people.
As touched on by the article and our hostess, if they hadn't fired him and the next week he went postal on his coworkers, the company would have been sued for not firing him after they clearly saw he was anti-social.
We seem no longer willing to just say "You don't like birthday parties? So what. Suck it buttercup." Instead we constantly cater to the mentally fragile.
How's that working out?
Better call Saul.
I'd recommend a George Floyd style demonstration, then burn the place down. That'd be justice.
But half a mil is ok too.
What should you do if you have an anxiety disorder and risk getting triggered by workplace interactions?
Bring a second clip?
It seems that the company went against his express wishes.
Good for him.
As someone who once fired someone who was requesting that the break room refrigerator be unplugged because it was talking to her, I have some sympathy for the company. On the other hand, he had asked for an accommodation which was casually denied. People are frightened of the mentally ill and I can't say that are wrong to be based on my experience.
Grow a pair, buddy!
He could, you know, take a tranquilizer. I am assuming he was untreated.
An interesting real-world topic with a long learning curve that many people, blocked by their own neurosis, never begin to undertake. I was surprised in middle-age by the slow realization that so many of my, otherwise high-functioning, co-workers had profound mental health issues. Equally surprising was the inability of other co-workers to recognize what the issues actually were and then have the flexibility to manage the nuttiness and get the best out of the somewhat-afflicted. With patience, amateur psychology, and (let’s face it) self-interested manipulation, I made a specialty out of keeping these people employed and on task, keeping many a work-group together that would have otherwise fractured under the stress of someone’s bi-polarity, OCD, or irrational anxieties.
As I said, it was self-interested, ‘cause if the next level of management was too oblivious to ever engage with the problem, someone was going to have to keep these folks productive.
“ Jim is out sick? Susy gets to do double her normal workload, rather than manager Tim stepping in to do Jim's work.”
Management, specifically personnel management, is a dying art. If-I-close-my-eyes-you-can’t-see-me seems to be the order of the day. Reflective of the wider culture.
“Rather than have staff levels sufficient to handle normal work absences, existing staff is required to show team spirit, familial support and group identity for management's convenience.”
Well said. Convenience and self-affirmation.
It depends on what kind of society you want to build.
If you let people like this sue companies and get half a million dollars out of it you will kill all small businesses that cannot afford bullshit like this and end up with all giant megacorps.
But limited people never really think about the consequences of policy.
Birthday parties and other celebrations are mechanisms for fostering a sense of family and comraderie in our boring corporate lives. There is a benefit to it. Now if someone is deathly afraid of it, tells the office and they do it anyway they are risking something happening. 450k in this instance.
I get an anxiety attack before every birthday. And I don't even work in an office.
I totally sympathize with Kevin.
he asked the office manager not to throw him a birthday party
That should have been enough. He shouldn't need a reason, they should not have ignored his preference to not celebrate his birthday.
"What should you do if you have an anxiety disorder and risk getting triggered by workplace interactions?"
First thing, I'd get a bona fide physician, a psychiatrist, to document my condition, what situations might impair my work performance or efficiency, and why those situations do not threaten the wellbeing of anyone but myself. It would need to be a psychiatrist -- not a "licensed psychotherapist" -- those mountebanks will do and say anything for money, up to and including my client suffers from alien abduction syndrome. An affidavit from a "therapist" would only increase my employers' skepticism.
Secondly, I'd get the doctor to manually sign and date five copies of that documents -- one for the CEO, one for my immediate supervisor, one for the HR critter, one for my attorney, and one for me. Maybe I'd even have them notarized. Then I'd obtain a cover letter from my attorney citing the labor laws and ordinances applying to the working conditions of persons afflicted with minor neuroses like mine, which is apparently a form of agoraphobia.
Lastly, I'd hand-deliver those copies with the cover letter to the staff members and officers cited above.
The position of HR harms companies far more than it helps. It should be abolished. I guarantee this whole thing was caused by some meddling HR person, who just couldn't leave well enough alone.
As is too often the case, the headline is wrong. Mr. Berling was fired, for good reason, "because he had clenched his fists, his face had turned red and he had ordered his supervisors to be quiet in the meeting, scaring them...'They are still shaken about it today.'"
Karen Plans A Party.
I used to routinely clash with Human Resources over what I considered silly morale-boosting shenanigans. It seemed like every other day there would be a memo from HR reminding me of birthday parties, newborn baby parties, farewell parties, retirement parties, condolence receptions, and ethnic-themed parties. I attended a few, but mostly not. Generally, I'd reply with have fun, but I'm too busy right now.
Sometimes I'd get snarky, particularly with the ethnic-themed crap. I recall an invitation to a Cinco de Mayo party. I wrote back "I don't understand this Mexican celebration of not being French. I wouldn't if the alternative is being Mexican." That one got me in some hot water, or at least uncomfortably warm water. I got the CIO in stitches when I remarked that if the Mexicans are so pleased to be Mexican, why don't they stay there. Cinco de Mayo blew over. Shortly thereafter the HR director asked me to lunch, her treat. Over our Asian fusion sashimi, she asked me why I refused to attend her events. Did I dislike my colleagues?
I replied, What do eating sheet cake and drinking punch have to do with liking my colleagues? It seemed to me to be irrelevant if not detrimental to liking people. "But you didn't attend Cinco de Mayo or the MLK party, are you prejudiced", the HR lady said.
You didn't hold a Battle of Hastings celebration party, did you, said I. That's how I avoided being French. This confused her terribly. "But do you hate anyone you work with," she asked.
I replied I liked everyone, even the evidently crazy ones. This broke the ice and made the HR director laugh. We became friends, and I even agreed to attend my upcoming birthday party.
David Begley said...
I’d expect a verdict like that from California. But Kentucky?
4/17/22, 11:33 AM
Yes, we are as backwards as the rest of the country, unfortunately. We do have cities/towns which are liberal bastions of progressiveness, too.
I threatened the office nuisance with a smorgasbord of unpleasantness, including legal action, if they made a fuss over my birthday. They grumped but let it pass unnoticed.
I had no particular legal argument in mind, but it worked.
What should you do if you have an anxiety disorder and risk getting triggered by workplace interactions?
I would ask to take a vacation day so that I could celebrate my birthday with my family.
By the way, how much company time is lost to all of these 'celebrations'?
Ha! Q confessions to being a prickly prig seeking attention whore for enlightened non-attendance. I'd be more impressed if he made his Mexican jokes to a co-worker originally from Michoacán holding a pipe wrench and breaker bar.
You didn't hold a Battle of Hastings celebration party, did you, said I. That's how I avoided being French.
Why, did your ancestors leave Normandy to invade England?
They should have left the guy alone once he expressed his preferences. All the bullshit was on the side of the employer, and if the case sends a message, good.
We wasted eee-normous amounts of time and energy on birthday parties and Christmas (sorry Holiday) potlucks. One was given the option of attending the Christmas (sorry Holiday) thing or taking equivalent leave, which department heads like myself were expected to enforce. Yeah right.
Our idiot boss sweetened the pot by awarding lucky attendees with either a day or half-day of leave--something so clearly illegal at our state u that if I had had anything to gain by narcing on her I would have.
Every once in a while a new faculty member would try to organize a library softball or bowling team, but never with much success.
I couldn't avoid a big send-off at retirement, but whenever one of my staff requested that their birthday or departure not be marked, I happily complied.
One of my late wargaming buds was reluctant to share his birthday with the rest of us, because he didn't want us to ever surprise him with a party. I laughed out loud and told him that was a very touching thought!
I would suggest explicitly designating "ability to interact socially with coworkers in common, everyday, normal circumstances" and:
"ability to react to spontaneous events in a socially acceptable way" as essential job functions.
Why are adults having birthday parties at work? This kind of BS didn’t happen before women took over the workplace. If guys wanted to celebrate their birthdays with their coworkers they went out for a drink after work. That would be young, unmarried guys or middle aged divorce guys. People who have a life don’t want to spend a bunch of it with their coworkers. I would much rather get work done than have cake with my co workers and I am a woman. I just find it bizarre that people would force you to celebrate your birthday with them. Especially at a lab where you expect more rational people to work. Just another reason why so much of modern science is garbage, the people who now work in it used to be elementary school teachers and stay at home moms.
Whatever happened to common decency? Someone tells you that things like a birthday party where they're the center of attention make them uncomfortable, what right do you have to force them into such a thing...?
Friend of mine lost his wife and kids in a house fire. Around Christmas. Some few years later, he went to an assignment where his touchy-feely bosses all thought "Gee, what a great guy to have play Santa Claus for the kids at the Christmas Party!!!". He tried to explain what the problem with that was, but they were having none of that.
Cue him having a breakdown at the party, and all the kids wanting to know why Santa was a wreck and sobbing. Followed by an attempt at disciplinary action for "failing to control emotions", which led to a bit more of a problem for all concerned when the fact of that got back to his old command, and they were visited unto by his very senior boss at the time who well remembered being on the scene of the fire. Whole thing ended very badly for all concerned, and all because some dipwad couldn't take a polite "No" for an answer and leave it at that. Forced bonhomie and togetherness are both things that have no place in a workplace; not everyone is an extrovert, and some of those quiet types aren't people in need of being forced to have fun--Some of them are still recovering from unimaginable tragedies.
"Why, did your ancestors leave Normandy to invade England?"
A few very distant ones did. The rest were miscellaneous Euro-trash who wandered into the British Isles, made nuisances of themselves, went bankrupt, and got transported.
Was there ice cream involved? I can’t decide until I know all the details…
Howard writes, "I'd be more impressed if he made his Mexican jokes to a co-worker originally from Michoacán holding a pipe wrench and breaker bar."
You really don't think things through, do you? I'm astonished you didn't eat the first colorful toadstool you saw as a child.
I'm astonished you didn't eat the first colorful toadstool you saw as a child.
Maybe he did and that is the source of the problem. It would be nice if we didn't have to put up with Howard's anxiety attacks.
Let me understand this: the guy flipped out not because he had to endure the party, but merely because he was told that there was a plan for a party?
We aren't given too many details of what exactly set him off; nor of how he behaved (did he threaten people? Did he shout and throw stuff? Did he talk about going postal?) but my impression is, this guy is too screwed up for an employer to make any kind of reasonable accommodation under ADA. He needs to take hold of his crazy and get help.
Paying him heavy six figures is just going to enable him to do this again, and encourage others to --excuse me-- make shit up in hopes of scoring similar rewards for being dysfunctional.
Some extroverts are deeply, fucking clueless. I have a very extroverted, gregarious friend who simply CANNOT recognize body language from any human being that clearly says, "I don't want to talk to you." We would go on walks in the neighborhood, she'd strike up a conversation with someone working in their yard, said person would say 'hello' at most, and turn their back on her. Didn't stop her from continuing to yammer on and on while I wandered away - I wouldn't be shocked if she followed people into their homes as they tried to escape her.
They. Just. Don't. Get. It. I hope Kentucky Man was absolutely stellar at his job, and this lab never finds another employee that can do the job like him. I have some of the same issues with my workplace - the annoying assumption that you view your work as family. Thank God for the pandemic, which has gotten me out of the office for good - permanently remote.
Owen@734 says, "Let me understand this."
We're trying to help you, some of us. I don't know any more details than are in the post, but the guy said he didn't want a party and they should have dropped it. IMO.
Maybe he's on the spectrum. Detail-oriented lab worker, socially awkward, neurotic.
As ALP@825 notices, maybe the boss and/or party committee chairperson were clueless extroverts.
And all he wanted was to do his job.
My dad checked out of McDonnell Douglas due to those stupid birthday celebrations Huntington Beach
$450K is a small price to pay for the employees and management of that company to be able to sleep soundly at night.
Wonder how long Berling worked there (sorry, can't read a paywalled article). Was he a complete stranger to the people who worked with him, to the office manager?
Was he told in his job interview he would be expected to "enjoy his annual birthday celebration like everyone else"? Is it written somewhere in the employee manual?
I'm curious how the office manager came to know what Berling's birthday is.
Especially as this doesn't appear to have been a voluntary event, I'm with everyone here, starting with Mary Beth, who thinks this was a beyond-the-pale intrusion on Berling's personal life.
As ALP says, just clueless.
It's amazing how much time people waste, especially in large companies, with stuff like birthdays, etc. Well meaning, perhaps, but mostly just an excuse to dodge work for a while.
I work for a company where the employees actually ask HR for birthday party celebrations. We had stopped doing them. But the employees like to celebrate and eat cake. It’s a bit of team building and gives people a reason to like the office. HR is the reluctant one in this case. But I would agree the celebrations are typically positive affairs. Just don’t blow out the candles on the cake, please.
I know someone who will freak out if there is cheese in the fridge (I am not making this up)--should they get to determine what is in the lunchroom fridge? If the job requires travel and someone says they have a fear of flying, what should a company do? As standards of behavior have declined, people are more willing to act all crazy at work. It is detrimental and scary for the other employees. I think the greater stress of society is also making more people a little nuts. It might be reasonable to skip a birthday for someone, but once they show they have an uncontrollable temper, like this guy, fire him.
What is difficult to understand?
"Do you want a birthday party?"
"No."
"We don't care, we're giving you a birthday party!"
"I'm suing."
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