"... (before meetings that never took place), first into references to sex, then to requests for information on what I 'like,' and then to an unstoppable slew of messages about what they’d like to do to me, what they’d like me to do to them, the current status of their body parts, and then incessant voicenotes, body-part pictures and requests for pictures of me. It is inane, tiring and completely pointless. Sexting has taken the place of sex. This may be because sex itself has become such a vexed operation, even for 24-year-olds...."
From "Why are young men so scared of sex?/Sexting has taken the place of sex" (Spectator).
I don't get "unstoppable slew." Why not block anyone who is boring you? All I can think of is: hope.
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4 comments:
Jake writes:
"Bullshit.
"Maybe they just don't want to have sex with Zoe Strimpel.
"Also, she laments that young men can't exist offline. Maybe she should try meeting someone in a manner other than apps. I bet if she went to any bar in America she could find a man willing to sleep with her."
Dave Begley writes:
"Unfortunately I’m an involuntary expert in online dating. These guys are idiots if they think they can date a woman after these brash approaches. They get that idea from porn. But I also suspect that it works with some women.
"From reading many online dating profiles, I can state that a large number of women want to “be friends first” and that is just common sense. One night stands and a relationship just for sex are just a complete mistake. I’ve done that twice and I totally regretted it."
Alex writes:
"Social skills are perishable; if you don't practice them you lose them, and our society has been failing to encourage these skills for a while. The rise of pornography easily available online, and the hookup culture of Tinder and other similar apps, has warped young men's sense of what's appropriate, while also undermining the ability of young women to resist these pressures. Add in the loss of traditional social outlets in favor of video games and other virtual entertainment and you have a generation that doesn't know how to interact. Flirting, seduction, and courtship have lost their appeal, or have been actively attacked by various groups. Instead, young men troll for easy sex, and young women who refuse, play hard-to-get, or otherwise expect a man to demonstrate a committment are left without anyone. This results in a race to the bottom with regards to behavior.
"Finally, the pandemic isolated too many people for over a year. They've lived off of Netflix, Twitter, and OnlyFans. The latter especially can encourage the worst sort of behavior, because unlike most other pornography OnlyFans is built around the fiction that there's a real connection between the performer and her patrons."
Zev writes:
"She’s 38, she’s going after men in the 25 year old range.
Most likely is that whatever she’s telling herself, they are just not into a woman so much older than they.
Let her swipe right on some men in her age bracket, I suspect she’ll find they’re not afraid of sex."
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