"We want curvy bodies that look like Kim Kardashian has been up-sized slightly. We want big beautiful butts and big beautiful breasts and no cellulite and faces that look like you could smack them on to thin women. I have a big stomach, I always have. That’s where I gain my weight — especially after early menopause, I have a straight-up gut, like an old man —and that’s not where anybody wants to see flesh. It’s not like if I posted a sensual nude of myself on Instagram, people would be marveling at my beautiful derrière.... There’s so much judgment around bigger bodies, and I think one of the judgments is that bigger women are stupider. They eat too much and don’t know how to stop. Thin women must be discerning and able to use their willpower. Bigger women must be limited in their understanding of the world, and they keep doing things that are bad for them. The amount of people who have written to me on my page: 'You’re promoting obesity. Don’t you understand you’re killing yourself. Are you stupid? Why are you doing that?'"
Said Lena Dunham, quoted in "Lena Dunham and the Spanx Liberation Movement/The actor-writer-director-controversy creator is back with a new project: a plus-size clothing line. The whole body positivity thing? She has thoughts" (NYT).
I was interested in this concept of negativity within positivity — that the much-vaunted "body positivity" isn't really generally accepting the full range of fatnesses, but only okays manifestations of fat that fit a feminine ideal of voluptuousness, curvaceousness. If the fat has overtaken you in the way it would beset a man — "a straight-up gut, like an old man" — the radiations of positivity do not reach you.
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There is no comments section anymore, but you can email me here. Unless you say otherwise, I will presume you'd enjoy an update to this post with a quote from your email.
FROM THE EMAIL: A reader, Mary, writes:
Your blog post today "The thing that’s complicated about the body positive movement…” got me thinking about an Instagram post I saw a few days ago by Paulina Porizkova, because it’s not just shaming women for their body shape and size, there’s also the issue of shaming women for how they age.
Here she says “As a woman, you are shamed if you look your age and you’re shamed if you do interventions to not look your age. Jane Fonda , who has been absolutely honest about her ways of coping, will go on a talk show to promote a new movie and all she’s asked is about her facelift. Is it any wonder that many celebrities would prefer not to have to defend their choices every single day? What if you went to your office and was always introduced as “Jenny, who has Botox in her forehead and had a lower facelift” when you’re there to pitch a great new idea, or sell off on a deal, or just sign contracts? Would you be so keen on letting everyone know if it is then becomes what defines you as a person, rather that your abilities and talent and personality?”
This is mostly celebrity looks issues, but I think we all feel it to some degree. I’m 55 years old and when I look in the mirror and see my neck, oh man, what the fuck happened! I’m seeing my age and it all seems to be happening so fast now. It’s like I’m pruning overnight! Should I wake up in the middle of the night and drink a gallon of water? I don’t know.
But I do understand most women are going through some sort of…"do I look good?” shit. And really it’s more important that we feel good about ourselves. Regardless of age, belly fat, boobs, because none of that matters if you’re not happy with who you are on the inside. I guess that sounds corny and sort of Sesame Street, but it’s not. It actually matters.
How long throughout history has there been such an emphasis on women’s looks? I don’t think this is ending any time soon.
I read that immediately after looking at pictures of myself... with a completely judgmental eye. And I'm 70!
MORE EMAIL:
I will be 60 this year. The thing that is most disturbing to me is the "old man pot belly" which I definitely have now. You can kind of hide it with loose tops (and of course something that shows more cleavage might distract from the belly). It is good to make sure your hair looks nice when you go out, do your nails, put on some makeup and jewelry, etc. But I am not competing with 20 year old's, that would be ridiculous. I just want to feel pretty even though that is kind of bending to the patriarchy. Also it's kind of funny, with the advent of mid-rise jeans, my pants size has not changed at all. I just have to wear a belt to keep my pants from falling down. By the way your hair looks great.
Thanks!
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