That's going to interfere with the enjoyment of the yogurt, you know. You could get up and find a sieve and run the bowlful of yogurt into a second bowl from which you could savor your breakfast, undistracted by intra-mouth straining. But you don't want the metallic, sieved version of strawberry yogurt. And you're lazy. Not lazy enough to have skipped the step of getting the flashlight and searching the floor and the desk. Just lazy enough not to sieve the yogurt.
As you eat mouthful after mouthful, do you maintain a uniform carefulness or do you get to thinking it's not in the yogurt? When you arrive at the last spoonful, do you have any hope that the little thingie sank all the way to the bottom? If you're trying to imagine the viscosity of the substance, this is not Greek yogurt — that pasty stuff — but old-time yogurt, and it had been spooned out into a bowl and stirred up.
It was in the last spoonful! And I had become a bit lackadaisical. And yet, I did not swallow it. I reacted with alarm as if I'd come close to swallowing it, but I hadn't. I got it. How did it sink to the bottom of the yogurt in the bowl?
But I know gold is heavy. I've remembered that gold is heavier than lead ever since I read this passage almost 20 years ago:
That's from "Uncle Tungsten: Memories of a Chemical Boyhood" by Oliver Sacks.
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78 comments:
Oliver Sacks is popular because he was the first published Freudian who bothered to notice that most thoughts and feelings people have aren’t sexual, even if they seem metaphorically so.
I could see the earing and the post being gold, but would the push back be actual gold or just gold colored? Maybe gold plated?
Tina Trent: Oliver Sacks is popular because he was the first published Freudian who bothered to notice that most thoughts and feelings people have aren’t sexual, even if they seem metaphorically so.
Well, that's what he claimed, but we all know what he was really talking about, don't we?
Every time I think your posts can't get any weirder, you come up with something like this.
That's NOT a criticism. It's what's kept me coming back for a dozen years.
Interesting post.
John Henry
That's a boneheaded strategy. What if you eat the last bite of yogurt and don't find it, then can't find it on the floor? Imagine where it went...
So I've been binge watching Gold Rush White Water; what you do is build this huge metal rake, suspend it on guidewires above your cup of yogurt, and then slide the rake through the yogurt to remove heavy objects from it. I suppose a fork would do but not as dramatically stupid.
Imagine where it went...
If you did swallow it, don't worry, it'll probably turn up on your next Covid test.
I bought a nugget of tungsten. It's pleasingly heavy. (And cheaper than gold)
The lost push back solution involves several variables that only you can weight as to importance.
I would use maximize time and enjoyment.
Turn off the lights, us a flashlight or phone, to look for the piece for 60 seconds. If not found, dump the yogurt, get another bowl, get on with life.
Gold is hypoallergenic unlike other metals so I would assume the push back thingy would be as well.
Yogurt is thixotropic meaning it's viscosity decreases with shearing, so by spooning the yogurt, it increased the likelihood of the push back sinking.
How's that for structural analysis? I'm feeling quite manly now with a hint of dopamine elation.
I second John Henry's comment. It's what keeps me coming back. Honestly- is this your morning reading at 4am?
Proustian.
“We are all of us obliged, if we are to make reality endurable, to nurse a few little follies in ourselves.”
I am Laslo.
I lol'd at Sacks's use of 'Uncle Tungsten'. If you've read the book, you will know it is about lightbulb fabrication and Sacks's uncle being involved in its production. Tungsten was the winner in the contest to find the optimum material for that resistant filament that makes the light happen.
My lol was linked to the fact that in addition to its use as a lightbulb filament, tungsten is also the perfect metallic element for the fabrication of ersatz gold bars. Every time I see an image of a gold bar, "Uncle Tungsten" rings in my head.
"Are you what you say you are or are you Uncle Tungsten?"
Glad you found your gold, Althouse. Every little bit counts. There are places that serve up gold leaf as part of some luxury dishes, but that's a form of conspicuous consumption I can virtuously eschew.
Strictly speaking, gold isn't heavy--it is dense.
Let's say you're multitasking, sticking the news on screen, reading strawberry yogurt, and eating a gold earring into your pierced ear.
Sorry—I was multitsking.
sorry for the typo
You say, “Oh no.” And nothing else. You wait to see if Meade rushes to your aid. He does and immediately gets a flashlight, checking every place but the yogurt for several minutes.
He then gets you a new yogurt to enjoy while he strains the original and finds the missing piece.
That afternoon he takes you to a jewelry store where you select another pair of earrings to commemorate the episode.
Afterward you go our for - irony - frozen yogurt.
Roll credits.
I was multitasking
I spent some time trying to figure out what he meant... but "multitsking" was a typo!
Wait! The word "tit" is always in "multitasking."
Whoever noticed that before.
Let's say you are mul tit asking...
Book title suggestion: "Putting the Tit in Multitasking."
Tsk tsk
Nice scenario, Kevin.
But Meade was still asleep.
"Multitsking is one of those fortuitous malapropisms that co UK ld be of use later. Thanks!
I miss snow.
What's worse than finding an earring in your yogurt?
A: Finding an ear in your yogurt.
Ugh...'could.' Autoincorrect is not my friend on this phone!
Multitasking is just multiple monotasking. Usually with diminished performance. It does provide the illusion of high productivity.
"Whoever noticed that before."
I never did, which makes the twelve-year-old boy inside me saddened with myself.
I am Laslo.
This led to an extended discussion with Mrs. M.
Her take - "that's why I haven't worn anything but loop earrings for years."
She was eating yogurt at the time.
Platinum is even heavier than gold. I used to marvel at platinum’s heft in my own wedding band. But I stopped wearing it several months ago. I still remember it’s heft.
I once filled an ordinary ballon with xenon gas. It looked like an ordinary ballon but it had heft. I took it to a party. We tossed it between us. It would fall like Keith Moon’s notion of a Jimmy Page’s new band.
"What's worse than finding an earring in your yogurt?
A: Finding an ear in your yogurt."
Q: Did Van Gogh eat yogurt? If he did, was it absinthe flavored?
Multitasking is just multiple monotasking. Usually with diminished performance. It does provide the illusion of high productivity.
...and are you really performing two or more conscious tasks simultaneously, or just rapidly switching between them?
"Nice scenario, Kevin.
But Meade was still asleep."
You thought I was still asleep. In fact, I was up and rummaging around in the dark trying to find a sock that had dropped under the bed. I needed a flashlight but couldn't find it. Someone had seemingly moved it from its official flashlight position.
Do you get a flashlight and carefully search the desk and floor area first or do you proceed to eat the yogurt?
IF the earring back was real gold and specific to the earring. Meaning other backs might not work on some antique earings... I might go to the trouble. Otherwise, just use one of the many earring spare backs/pushers that I already have.
Real gold. I get a mesh sieve and push the yogurt through it into a bowl. Throw the yogurt away. Eat a new container. THEN ...maybe ...get on my hands and knees to search the floor..or use my dust buster and suck up the earring piece.
I had to eat all the way down to the bottom of the post before getting to Oliver Sacks, then at the bottom of the comments (as I write) mezzrow gave me the idea of stirring absinthe into my yogurt. Thanks.
Platinum is even heavier than gold. I used to marvel at platinum’s heft in my own wedding band. But I stopped wearing it several months ago
I found gold to be too malleable. I also love my platinum wedding band but has to stop wearing it. Who knew platinum shrinks? (;-))
chickelit said...
I KNEW this post would be chick(elit) bait!
Two words: screw backs.
Suggested nostalgic blog post title: "Let's take a closer look at that multitasking."
Man, I did nearly the same exact thing once while listening to Strawberry Alarm Clock.
Suggested Jeopardy! clue: "Of blowback, pushback and backlash, it's the one that is also part of a piece of jewelry."
Love Gold Rush Whitewater. They are ultimate thrill seekers and kind of crazy...yet wildly inventive (even more than Bering Sea Gold). What is really interesting is that there were miners in that same area a 100 years ago and left behind infrastructure in what looks like pristine forest. Fascinating history!
Once again proving the axiom that people cannot multitask because that’s just not how our brains work. Oops.
And then if you think about multitasking while multitasking you have added another thing for your brain to do!
What's worse than finding an earring in your yogurt?
Finding yogurt in your ear.
"Finding yogurt in your ear."
LOL. Made me laugh so hard a little bit of strawberry yogurt came out my nose.
I thought it was pretty gross in the movie there's something about Mary when she got "yogurt" stuck in her hair
A friend found a hard nubbin in her yogurt. She convinced herself it was a fingertip and took it to the ER to insist they examine it. They said it was a piece of strawberry. I believe she was hoping for lawsuit material. Instead she got a bill for $75.
Rapidly switching monotasking according to modern neuroscientists as presented on the Joe Rogan and Lex Fridman podcasts.
Women need to feel busy so the illusion of multitasking is good for their mental health.
Meade said...
What's worse than finding an earring in your yogurt?
A: Finding an ear in your yogurt.
What kind of ear, meade? Human?
Reminds me of my favorite line in the whole fargo series.
Lorne Malvo is in the post office to pick up a package.
Clerk: well that's odd.
Malvo: No. Odd is when you find a human foot in your toaster oven. This is just unusual.
John Henry
>>You could get up and find a sieve and run the bowlful of yogurt into a second bowl from which you could savor your breakfast, undistracted by intra-mouth straining.<<
Straining now should always win out over straining later.
Speaking of yogurt, yesterday I watched a BBC show about the British countryside. In it, a dairywoman was making savoury yogurt with vegetable flavours instead of the customary fruit: carrots, beets, squash. Although it sounds a bit like baby food, I'm anxious to try it at home.
Beautifully written, Ann, I felt every emotion with you, and not just because I was eating strawberry yogurt as I read it, wondering if I could distinguish an earring back from granola which is stirred in so I can have crunch in every bite.
I was up and rummaging around in the dark trying to find a sock
At least it didn't turn up in the yogurt.
Blogger Tina Trent said..."I miss snow."
You obviously were not in Madison this week. 2" predicted, 9" fell in my driveway.
I should have been a weatherman. Only job where you can be wrong, day in and day out, yet nothing happens to you.
I had a collection of tungsten x-ray anodes, demonstrating the different ways you can destroy them if you don't operate the x-ray generator properly.
Blogger Tina Trent said..."I miss snow."
You might want to move then.
We had a foot of snow Tuesday night. Another 3 inches this morning and expected to be snowing for the next 5 days. So probably another 5 to 7 inches. I live in Calfiornicatyou.
Thank goodness we have a tractor to plow our driveway so we can get to the road. Not that we need to go anywhere.
Original Mike said ... "Only job where you can be wrong, day in and day out, yet nothing happens to you."
See also, Democratic President
Only job where you can be wrong, day in and day out
60% chance of snow means there are 5 guys drinking coffee at the weather office and 3 of them think it's going to snow.
"It depends on the track of the storm".
You're getting paid for this gig?
"Beautifully written, Ann, I felt every emotion with you, and not just because I was eating strawberry yogurt as I read it, wondering if I could distinguish an earring back from granola which is stirred in so I can have crunch in every bite."
Thanks. I love granola in yogurt, but if that had been the situation here, I wouldn't have chanced it. No chewing was involved in my makeshirt search for the push back.
I loved that book. What struck me was that, as a young boy, Oliver would go to the local chemistry supply shop, buy some incredibly hazardous compound, and the proprietor would say "Be careful with that". That's it.
It seems not just another time, but another unimaginable world to us now...
Here, parents get arrested for letting their kids play without being supervised 100% of every moment.
I have already solved this problem by not piercing my ears. I am not female (although my wife is also unblemished), nor a pirate (or aiming to become one) or an aging hipster. I did lose my wedding ring once, the restroom paper towels and residual soap pulled it off. Found it just minutes before the custodian came to empty the trash. Took me about 2 hours combing over a 6 story building, which given my luck, was of course round. As an aside, I dislike granola, yoghurt, and such things. Just give me fresh fruit.
Original Mike,
As someone working in the public history field, I have been told repeatedly that I am wrong, so it's just not forecasters. Usually at least twice a week, and often by my supervisor. Discussing history can be a contentious endeavour.
We used to socialize with a local TV weather person, and he lamented on the computer models he was required to use. He knew of better, but couldn't use them. I think this was a corporate thing, where the network had an interest in the forecasting firm. This was years ago though, it might have improved, though I doubt it.
Only job where you can be wrong, day in and day out, yet nothing happens to you
Economist.
I've remembered that gold is heavier than lead ever since I read this passage almost 20 years ago:
An ounce of gold is heavier than an ounce of lead, but a pound of lead is heavier than a pound of gold. You would be more correct to say "gold is denser than lead."
Blogger Tina Trent said..."I miss snow."
Come to Maine, it's been snowing off and on since Tuesday. The light and fluffy stuff that drifts around in the air for awhile before landing. Doesn't add up to much so not an inconvenience. Looks and makes the world look lovely.
Whenever I drop small things, screws, washers, etc., they always end up in a place that makes me want to figure out how they got their. Odd shaped items, even very light ones, bounce and tumble in interesting ways.
In your case, the yogurt was the most likely place.
...a pound of lead is heavier than a pound of gold...
16ozs of lead is heavier than 16ozs of gold?
RE: gold vs. lead.
What would you be more happy to send down a barrel? Lead I would think. I've a bunch of silver bars to melt down for revolver cartridges, just because 2021. Silver bullets, Lone Ranger, zombies, werewolves, etc. I do have a holly stake at hand for the vampires. I just need the crucible, as my lead smelter won't get to the appropriate temp to melt silver. Thank goodness no undead need a gold bullet, that would get costly.
stevew said...
...a pound of lead is heavier than a pound of gold...
16ozs of lead is heavier than 16ozs of gold?
No, 16 ounces of gold is heavier than 16 ounces of lead. A pound of gold is only 12 ounces, though.
Precious metals are weighed using Troy weight, rather than Avoirdupois (which is what you would weigh base metals in). A troy ounce is a little heavier than an avoirdupois ounce, but there's only 12 troy ounces in a troy pound, so the troy pound is lighter than an avoirdupois pound.
Well, I've learned something new, which is cool. Seems silly to use a single word, pound, to describe different things.
MadisonMan said...
I bought a nugget of tungsten. It's pleasingly heavy. (And cheaper than gold)
I'm not a jewelry person, but I did buy a gold-colored tungsten carbide ring a couple of years ago. It's engraved with the the Elvish Tengwar inscription for the One Ring. Doesn't make me invisible but doesn't attract Ringwraiths, either.
Althouse, you need thicker yogurt, so that anything dropped in it will leave an obvious hole. I like Siggi's skyr, which uses four times as much milk as regular yogurt and is low sugar and low fat, other than the Triple Cream flavors.
AA @ 9:52
No one saw the makeshirt?
Multitasking--where's that guy who moved to Boston and was always talking about gay sex, his rare clumbers, and tits.
What weighs more: an ounce of gold, or an ounce of feathers?
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