February 25, 2020

"Extremely pale people tend to have visible veins. No foundation is going to be able to cover a bruise effectively while allowing those blue-tinged lines to show through..."

"... which leaves the pasty among us kind of screwed unless we’re going to go get serious special effects makeup training. Try having your husband bite the nape of your neck in or just on your hairline.... Ask your doctor about arnica. It’s an herb that can be applied topically, and some circus people, BDSM aficionados, and sex workers swear by it for speeding up the healing of bruises...."

Advice from Slate's sex columnist, How to Do It, responding to a question that begins "I love being bitten. I especially love being bitten at the joint between my shoulder and neck during sex."

As an extremely pale person, I was interested in the makeup advice. I think she's saying that the EPP needs to use foundation that's translucent enough to let your little veins show through, that the purple is part of your natural-looking skin tone — sort of like pointillism....



As for the bruises... well, that's what's in Slate today. I wonder how hard they had to try to make sure nobody thought they were giving advice to women who are actually abused and wanting to hide it.

By the way, what is "the joint between my shoulder and neck"? This is a rough "neck bone connected to the shoulder bone" sort of anatomy. There is no "joint" between the shoulder and neck. The shoulder joint is at the arm.

I haven't thought about the song "Dem Bones" in a long time:
The lyrics are inspired by Ezekiel 37:1-14, where the prophet Ezekiel visits the "Valley of Dry Bones" and prophesies that they will one day be resurrected at God's command, picturing the realization of the New Jerusalem.
That reminds me of a book passage I've been meaning to show you. This is from Karl Ove Knausgaard's "My Struggle." He's looking at people in an airport and he's thinking about the scene on Judgment Day:
All these bones and skulls that had been buried for the thousands of years that man had lived on earth would gather themselves up with a rattle, and stand grinning into the sun, and God, the almighty, the all-powerful, would... judge them from his heavenly throne. ... [F]rom all the fields and valleys, all the beaches and plains, all the seas and lakes, the dead would rise.... Also those walking around here, with their roller suitcases and tax-free bags, their wallets and bank cards, their perfumed armpits and their dark glasses, their dyed hair and their walking frames, would be awakened, impossible to discern any difference between them and those who died in the Middle Ages or in the Stone Age, they were the dead, and the dead are the dead, and the dead would be judged on the Last Day.

41 comments:

mccullough said...

The sterni-clavicular joint is part of the shoulder complex. Maybe that’s what she’s talking about.

mccullough said...

Sternoclavicular joint

Owen said...

Althouse: “...As for the bruises... well, that's what's in Slate today. I wonder how hard they had to try to make sure nobody thought they were giving advice to women who are actually abused and wanting to hide it.“

Brutal! You preemptively win the thread to your own posting.

Sebastian said...

"impossible to discern any difference between them and those who died in the Middle Ages or in the Stone Age"

Ha! Take a look at their teeth.

Ice Nine said...

>>"By the way, what is "the joint between my shoulder and neck"? This is a rough "neck bone connected to the shoulder bone" sort of anatomy. There is no "joint" between the shoulder and neck. The shoulder joint is at the arm."<<

Really? I mean, chances are the sex advice writer for Slate doesn't have a degree in anatomy.

It's pretty obvious that she was referring to the trapezius muscle and overlying skin. And in fact, she is correct in her word usage, even if she didn't know it.

Joint - 2a: a place where two things or parts are joined (Merriam Webster).
The trapezius muscle in part joins the neck and the shoulder (details available on request).

Hey...you asked.

traditionalguy said...

Each to their own. Masochists say they like to be attacked and hurt by others. Which seems to me to be be an impossible emotional reaction. The split second someone attacks me there is an immediate reaction attack back coming that must be controlled. And I am totally normal. After the action stops one can experience the emotion of why did they feel they could get away with that.

Mark O said...

Ew.

Ann Althouse said...

"Maybe that’s what she’s talking about."

That's not in the same place. It's not what you'd call the neck or the shoulder. That's down on the front of the chest — the collarbone is not the neck. The neck bones are part of the spine. The spine does not connect to the shoulder!

traditionalguy said...

Silly question where to bite. Just watch a Dracula Movie. It's all acupuncture.

Lucid-Ideas said...

This reminds me of the .gif meme of a Vox/Slate dude wondering what he's going to write about that day.

He chooses the day's story by throwing a suction-cup dildo at a 'story-board' with his eyes closed facing backwards, and then develops the day's story based on whichever themes the dildo lands on.

It appears that today, at Slate, the themes were:

- Gingers
- Sex (this never gets removed from the board)
- BDSM
- Hot makeup tips

Tomorrow is 'dogs', 'furies', 'sex' (as usual), and the Eiffel Tower. Oh boy here we go...

tcrosse said...

My dear wife once caught a tennis ball in the eye, leaving her with a shiner. I could tell that people believed I had belted her, much as she swore that I hadn't.

RBE said...

Narcissists of all types are trying to drag us all into their weirdness zone for their own kicks. All part of their sickness...they want to infect everyone.

tim maguire said...

My wife once had bad bruising on her neck from intubation during surgery. I'm lucky I didn't get arrested. Even some doctors were reluctant to believe that I didn't choke her.

madAsHell said...

As an extremely pale person

People of Pallor Unite!!

gilbar said...

i'm SORRY, but,; if you're the sort of Twisted Freak, that's into being bitten
You NEED to Fly Your Freak Flag HIGH!
Show OFF those scars! and stay away from the garlic

Yancey Ward said...

Pale privilege.

reader said...


If my husband looks at me funny I end up with a hickey, so biting is a big no no.

One of my favorite things is to place my face at the join of my husband’s neck and shoulder and inhale. Love and comfort in a breath.

megadwarf said...

She is talking about the area where the skin from the neck joins the skin from the shoulder - and not a literal bone "joint"

mockturtle said...

My sister and I both have very light, translucent skin. We also bruise quite easily. I can tan a bit but she cannot.

Bay Area Guy said...

"Extremely pale people tend to have visible veins. No foundation is going to be able to cover a bruise effectively while allowing those blue-tinged lines to show through..."

Don't tell Liz Warren this......

Ignorance is Bliss said...

My wife bruises easily, and does karate. Doctor visits often begin with So how are things at home...

Ann Althouse said...

I think it's really interesting the way the bones are not that connected in the shoulder area. Where is the connection between the bone structure of the arms and the structure of the torso. The shoulders are impressively disconnected from the spine at the skeleton level.

Owen said...

The Slate writer was caught doing thirty over the limit and should have her poetic license revoked*. As well stated above, the sterno-clavicular joint is the only “real” joint connecting the humerus/scapula to the main chassis. The only “joint” with the spine is a loose business of gristle, muscle, etc, expressly engineered to let the whole thing float like the wing that it is. Try taking apart a roast chicken or turkey, the anatomy is highly conserved. Because it works really well.

*Not really. For economy of expression and how the whole subject is experienced by real people in their bodies, calling that place a “joint” is probably OK. But also a subject of much (useless) discussion...

Ann Althouse said...

"She is talking about the area where the skin from the neck joins the skin from the shoulder - and not a literal bone "joint""

That's my point: It's a rough sort of anatomy. It's not a literal or a nonliteral "joint." The whole area is a big muscle (the trapezius), and she likes getting bitten somewhere in the middle of it, not at a joint.

Ann Althouse said...

To be fair to the Slate expert/"expert," the language about the "joint" comes from the letter writer.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

Wear your perversions proudly in public. If you can't get enough alliteration, let your freak flag fly.

JAORE said...

Q: Why do you stay with that sadist?

A: Beats me.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

Joe "Bite Me"

...once Biden, twice shy!

SeanF said...

tcrosse: My dear wife once caught a tennis ball in the eye, leaving her with a shiner. I could tell that people believed I had belted her, much as she swore that I hadn't.

Used to have season tickets to the local minor-league baseball team. A woman with seats near ours took a baseball to the face once. Saw them at another game a couple days later, and she was sporting an impressive shiner. She was also wearing a custom-printed t-shirt that said "Watch Out for Foul Balls".

Her husband had a matching shirt that said, "I Didn't Do It!"

Ann Althouse said...

What's the use of denying it? That's exactly what you'd do if you did it.

Narr said...

I'm a PPPP: Pale Patriarchal Penis Person. (Thanks Dr. W. Hochbruck for the formula!)

And I loves me some neck.

Narr
Bruises not so much

khematite said...

A memorable 1960s use of "Dry Bones."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AYBaUk12u0

Fernandinande said...

Our non-dopey but wired-up dog gave The Woman a classic shiner with his front paw. I thought I'd make her stay in the house ("Stay!") until it healed up, but apparently people think I'm too wimpy to punch anybody so I just went ahead and let her run loose in the neighborhood without a leash.

effinayright said...

traditionalguy said...
Each to their own. Masochists say they like to be attacked and hurt by others.
**********

Old joke:

Masochist to sadist: "Please! Please hurt me!! I beg you!!"

Sadist to masochist: "No. I...don't...think...I...will."

baddabish

JML said...

When our neighbor's son was 16 or 17, he broke his arm. They were living on an Air Force Base at the time, and her husband was deployed. They were visited by the Security Police when they were in the examination room - "Investigating abuse against a minor." She was incredulous and said, "Are you kidding me?!?, and had her son stand up. He was 6'6", she was 5'1". He was on the football team (and went on to play at the Univ. of Arkansas where he was destined for the pros until he blew a knee.) She asked them, "Does it LOOK like I could do this to him?!"

Nichevo said...

Is this not simply the nape of the neck that we are trying to name?

Lars Porsena said...

"...I especially love being bitten at the joint between my shoulder and neck during sex...."

So do all female cats..hence 'pussy'.

tcrosse said...

Her husband had a matching shirt that said, "I Didn't Do It!"

How about a matching shirt that said "She Was Asking For It!"

Mark said...

Count me as one that thinks women wear too much foundation.

It is all too noticeable these days. Especially when used on TV, with the lighting, it just increases the visibility of wrinkles.

gilbar said...

Char Char Binks said...
Wear your perversions proudly in public. If you can't get enough alliteration, let your freak flag fly.


Not to pick knits; but....
Present People's Perversions: Public Proud.

the "in" is a tough one!

Bob said...

One of Manly Wade Wellman's fine "Silver John" stories was about bones and the book of Ezekiel where they were mentioned: Can These Bones Live?