August 10, 2019

"One boring day in September, a co-worker brushed her fingers against my bare forearm, and when I glanced up, she held my eye contact a fraction too long. A millisecond."

"In the time it took for me to blush, the entire world shifted, came into focus, brightened. She was a charismatic person in the workplace with an unofficial fan club. It wasn’t her masculine energy that attracted me. It was her ability to make any day fun, her intense brown eyes and my own strangling loneliness. Her attention was flattering. I was stunned that I had worked with her for a couple of years and not noticed our chemistry before. How could I have missed it? I had been boy-crazy in junior high and married to my husband exactly 20 years. I had never considered anything other than male partners. She became my work wife, in office terms, and then some. Though I considered myself straight, I crushed hard. The idea was in my head, and this woman was in my heart. My husband lived only in my house...."

From "Seduced, Then Scorned, by My Work Wife/With my husband checked out of our marriage, I found flirtation at the office. It didn’t go well" a NYT "Modern Love" column by Carrie Malinowski.

47 comments:

chuck said...

Penthouse letters?

gspencer said...

24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.

25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.

26 For by means of a whorish woman a man [or woman] is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.

27 Can a man [or woman] take fire in his [her] bosom, and his [her] clothes not be burned?

28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his [her] feet not be burned?

traditionalguy said...

Yup. The reason all the bosses these day are women who hire attractive women is the same reason Bill Clinton hired his young women.

The Drill SGT said...

work romances are complicated in the best of times..

Michael The Magnificent said...

Sort of reminds me of a woman I used to work with, and went out on one date with.

Took her bowling on a Friday night, with a kiss goodnight. Monday morning she was as cold as ice. Not sure, but maybe she was pissed I hadn't called her all weekend?

For months afterwards, she made a point of goofing around with all of my co-workers while ignoring me. I didn't feel jealous, I felt like I had dodged a bullet.

Jupiter said...

"It didn't go well."

All's well that ends well.

Hell, all's well that ends.

rcocean said...

Chick-click bait. Can I get the cliff notes summary?

Sydney said...

Here is the most important part of that essay:

Eventually, I sat my husband down and admitted that I was lonely. Really lonely. Lonely enough that — well, never mind, just deep in loneliness. I told him I needed more attention. Needed love. And so the emotional improvement projects began.

My husband found treatment for his depression. We spent more evenings together. He has the most beautiful laugh that pierces me in the finest way, something that had been in rare supply in recent months. With the return of that laugh, and with time, he was able to mend the work-wife-shaped hole in my heart.

madAsHell said...

It wasn’t her masculine energy that attracted me.

Wut?

MeatPopscicle1234 said...

Reads like a soft-core porn dime store novel...

Ann Althouse said...

The fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth words of the column are: "my big, handsome husband."

You need to know that.

Comanche Voter said...

Bodice rippers for the modern day office crowd. Fortunately it's behind a paywall so I don't have to bleach my eyes.

madAsHell said...

He has the most beautiful laugh that pierces me in the finest way

That's not his laugh.

Vet66 said...

"Sex and the City" story? Stay focused on the job at hand, so to speak. Sounds like a prelude to another jail house suicide. Arm brushing, millisecond gazes, heart (or something)j throbbing), who is taking care of the customers in this Peyton Place work site?

buwaya said...

Peyton place indeed.
With rare exceptions, give me men to manage.

Big Mike said...

“Seduced. Then scorned ...”

No wonder women go for romance novels.

Seeing Red said...

So the twit chose to suffer in silence than speak to hubby?

Women want mindreaders as spouses.

I’m not reading it. I refuse.

readering said...

Not the right audience for that post. We're a bunch of old men.

AlbertAnonymous said...

Honestly professor, why do you read this garbage?

gilbar said...

I've Read much better than that
I could WRITE much better than that.

Let me tell about this girl they hired to work 2nd shift with us, back in 1986
Let's call her Judy.
The thing about Judy was,
when you'd walk up beside her, just a little too close, she wouldn't back away
then; if you'd move over over a little more, so you were Just touching, she wouldn't back away
THEN, if you'd lightly push over; giving her the slightest pressure...

Matt said...

The more that women reveal themselves, the more clear the degeneracy of the distaff side of society becomes.

As much, if not more so, than men.

Can you say 'MGTOW'?

Matt Sablan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt Sablan said...

"Honestly professor, why do you read this garbage?"

-- So we don't have to!

Chris N said...

"Tracy's top button of her blouse came loose. Her brown, glistening skin was all that existed in the world. She ran her fingers through her hair and traced the outline of her ear. She laughed. The coffee machine's grinding hum was coming from another planet.

'Would you like me to go over the Sql database queries again, Trip'

'Would that help?'

Her lips purposely paused on the plosive push of the 'p' in 'help'. I became helpless. She knew she had every evolutionary advantage in this sterile office environment.

'I....I think I could use some help' I stammered.

Pg 27. Trip Blakely & The Friday Deadline. Office Husbandry. Power Analytics.

Dave Begley said...

What compelled this woman to write this personal stuff? Why did the NYT publish it?

rcocean said...

"Why did the NYT publish it?"

NYT Target audience: Well-do-do white women 30-65.

rcocean said...

"Not the right audience for that post. We're a bunch of old men."

who's this "we", Kemosabe? Speak for yourself. Gramps.

MayBee said...

The crush is interesting to me. With all the gay positive media out there, I've been concerned that young girls who develop crushes on women will think they are gay or be forced into outing themselves as gay, when in reality it's a really common thing. You can have a crush without it being a desire for sex.

Mr. Groovington said...

Blogger readering said...
Not the right audience for that post. We're a bunch of old men.
...

After a few years here, I’d guess the average age is 60. An equal amount over as under.

Of the few I’m entirely simpatico with politically, mockturtle is maybe 63, Yancey maybe 66, JFarmer 58, Fen 55, buwaya maybe 60.

Yup, that’s really fucking old you guys. Hahaha.

Chris N said...

Her skirt rode high on her hips, and tight. A little too tight for a SQL database query selection scrum running remote untested voice-recognition AI. Perhaps she needed some Python review.

Pg. 32. Trip Blakely And the Platform Of Doom. 'A Rogering To Remember'

'I savored every word. The modern man AND the liberated woman AND today's xir can appreciate an old fashioned, rollicking office romance.' Dr. Kala Macciato-Robespierre. The Drake Review

Phil 314 said...

What's that old phrase:

"Pictures or it didn't happen."

Fernandinande said...

Really lonely.

Hear that lonely lesbian
Xe sounds too blue to fly
The midnight train is whining low
I'm so lonely I could cry.

Marcus Bressler said...

On office "romances" when you're married: The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. But it's always wetter.

THEOLDMAN (64)

Anchovy1214 said...

I miss closets. Closets were fine. Closets did their job well. I miss closets.

narciso said...

she might want to update her web page:

https://www.carriemalinowski.com/

Maillard Reactionary said...

Chris N prompted me to think of this title for the article:

"Harry Potter And The Rogering To Remember".

Roger Sweeny said...

These are sounding more and more like Penthouse letters for progressives.

BUMBLE BEE said...

Laslo.. paging Mr Laslo swish swish on the white phone.

rcocean said...

"Yup, that’s really fucking old you guys. Hahaha."

And how old are you?

And if you can tell people ages by their posts, you got a talent old man, up there with a having a crystal ball.

Joe said...

Hi, I'm immoral, now let me justify that.

Birches said...

I've always guessed I was one of the younger Althouse regulars...

Karen of Texas said...

I just dropped in for the Laslo comment. No Laslo. :(

And I think Maybee @2:28 made a very astute observation.

Narr said...

Oh geez, office crushes and affairs are so trite. (I assume it never got physical, but refuse to read anything that utilizes the term work-wife . . . .)

I'm a big, good looking guy (take my word for it) and in a long career in academic librarianship and teaching I had to interact with users and students of course, but I also had to interview, hire, train, supervise, evaluate, grade, write letters of rec for, and sometimes fire people, and sometimes those people were female, attractive, and unsubtle.
(I suppose some concluded I'm gay, but hell I was a guybrarian, and that comes with the territory.)

I freely admit that if a choice had to be made between equally qualified candidates, I chose the best looking, but anyone working on the campus as an equal or subordinate was off-limits.

Narr
Like I never noticed what happens to guys who think with their dicks

DEEBEE said...

Ahh makes sense why you insist on reading NYT

Gospace said...

The only person I ever heard referring to a coworker as a "work husband" was a fat, uh, obese female that no male in his right mind would marry. BTW- she was single. Never asked him what he thought about that.

She was toxic to the work environment. The few women she actually got along with were equally toxic. That was in a retail store.

Stopped by the other day. There are no physically attractive women working there now. All the hiring decisions are made by... FEMALES! Surprise, surprise.

readering said...

Interspersed with these comments are penthouse letters, right?

Fen said...

Groovington: Of the few I’m entirely simpatico with politically, mockturtle is maybe 63, Yancey maybe 66, JFarmer 58, Fen 55, buwaya maybe 60.

Golly, first time I've seen your name and you sure know alot about the rest of us.

Why don't you slip out of your sock? Are you shy? Cowardly?