August 12, 2019

How to understand the rash of NYT headlines beginning with "How."

First, here at the headlines that begin with "How" on the front page of The NYT as I write this:
  • How the El Paso Killer Echoed the Words of Conservative Media Stars
  • How Facebook Is Changing to Deal With Scrutiny of Its Power
  • How a Nanny’s Adventure in the U.S. Ended in Bloodshed
  • How to Stay Financially Stable When the World Might Be Falling Apart
  • How to Make Parent Friends
  • How I Came to Own My Name/My parents never told me that they had changed my name from Tiffi to Lauren when I was 6 months old. Would I have been a different person as Tiffi?
  • How YouTube Radicalized Brazil
  • How Do We Say ‘Have a Good Night’? Let Us Count the Ways
  • How Bill de Blasio Went From Progressive Hope to Punching Bag
  • How to Plan a Wedding. (Or, You Could Just Elope)
Writing my own post headline beginning with "How," I saw the charm, the con. It gives the reader the feeling that something will be explained. There's a gift of understanding inside. And yet it seems practical and down to earth, even when it's selling a theory (like the causation between conservative media and the El Paso murders).

You can test your personality by asking which of today's NYT "How" headlines you'd click on. I can tell you I only felt motivated to click on one. You can test how well  you know me by guessing before clicking to read more.

From "How I Came to Own My Name/My parents never told me that they had changed my name from Tiffi to Lauren when I was 6 months old. Would I have been a different person as Tiffi?" by Lauren DePino:
In the tradition of the radical feminist Kathie Sarachild, who named herself after her mother and coined the phrase “Sisterhood is powerful,” my mother, Catherine Gracechild, identifies nominally as the child of her mother, Mary Grace. My mother is a rule defier, a pantsuit wearer, a reiki master and a tarot card reader. She taught high school English for three decade....
As Catherine Gracechild tells it... she delegated the task of naming me to my middle sister, Shayna, who was 10 years old....

“I changed your name because the other teachers where I taught thought Tiffi sounded like a stripper,” my mother finally said....

“So what if I were a stripper, or more sexually free for that matter?” I asked.... Lauren was called onstage on high school graduation day to receive the plaque for the student who best exemplifies Christian values. Lauren was president of the National Honor Society and student of the month. But what about Tiffany? I needed to know how it felt to be her....

I told my friends and family I would answer only to Tiffi for three weeks. The more people referred to me as Tiffi, the more I started to feel like her. To feel like her was to assume a rebelliousness — to become unshackled by the conventions I had allowed to dictate my days. Two of my girlfriends took me out and dressed me as the stereotype of what I imagined a Tiffi would be. Instead of wearing yoga clothes and sweats, I wore short skirts and form-fitting tops. I wobbled in high heels. I stopped straightening my hair. I let my curls — the conflicting mixture of ringlets and limp wisps I was born with — be their wild selves....

When someone calls your name, you hear them as they see you. You hear how they hold you (or don’t) in their voicings of you....
Of course, it's not the name itself but what you hear in the name. You can't redo the past and find out what life would be if you were addressed with a different sound. But you can fantasize about the other You, the You you would be if not for X. Where X is just a name, you can change your name to that name now, but it's not really the experience of growing up with a name, and you're loading into it all the ideas you have about that unlived other life you might have had.

Do you know the other name that might have been yours, the second-place name in the name-choosing that happened you? I do. The name is Amy. My parents wanted something short that began with A.

How Life Would Have Been So Different If I Had Been Amy — title for an unwritten blog post.

102 comments:

rhhardin said...

Who what when where why.

Matt Sablan said...

I always threatened my parents I'd change my name to Luigi.

Kevin said...

How Life Would Have Been So Different If I Had Been Amy — title for an unwritten blog post.

You might have been amazing.

Darrell said...

How the El Paso Killer Echoed the Words of Liberal Media Stars.

Catastrophic climate change!!11!!!!

Darrell said...

Greeting Elizabeth Warren.
How!

Lucid-Ideas said...

How NYTsplaining is ok, but mansplaining is not.

Laslo Spatula said...

My first quick thought was "How to Plan a Wedding. (Or, You Could Just Elope)", being that Althouse+Meade was in the air a few days ago; then - nah. "How to elope," maybe, just to see how the NYT could turn it into something that seems a lot harder than it is, but still: nah.

Then I gravitated to "How I Came to Own My Name/My parents never told me that they had changed my name from Tiffi to Lauren when I was 6 months old. Would I have been a different person as Tiffi?" The writer-part of Althouse might be momentarily intrigued, if only to theorize on a life led as "Tiffi", but I think she would lose interest before achieving the click.

So: "How Do We Say ‘Have a Good Night’? Let Us Count the Ways" is my guess. It sounds like a flower garden of Oxford rabbit-hole possibilities. Lots of potential carrots for those rabbits.

We'll see.

I am Laslo.

Quayle said...

How the blind lead the blind into a ditch.

Kevin said...

“How X happened (or is happening)” is perfect for today’s media.

It sets in the reader’s mind that X has already been proven true, while supplying “evidence” in the article that supports the assertion.

It is correlation journalism and allows maximum manipulation of the reader.

Rob said...

Yes, it’s what you hear in the name. As Tiffi, Lauren imagined herself a strumpet. Avoiding that impression is exactly why her parents decided not to have that be her name. No doubt for similar reasons they rejected Shaniqua.

Even though her mother was a pantsuit wearer.

Lloyd W. Robertson said...

I also would have guessed "How do we say ...." A deep dive into the OED and various languages.

Kevin said...

Greeting Elizabeth Warren.
How!


How my life would have changed if the DNA results had been different.

wild chicken said...

Oh, I see, the other name brings out her latent exhibitionism.

How terribly rebellious.

Darrell said...

How to Win A Pulitzer Lying About the Soviet Union.

rhhardin said...

Imus asked about the young wife of any old guest with "How's Bambi?"

David Begley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AllenS said...

How I became a Deplorable.

Paco Wové said...

How to Determine if That "Feminist" Article is Really Just Narcissistic Navel-Gazing

Jeff Brokaw said...

I guessed right. Yay me!

GRW3 said...

So many men/boys in my family were named George, I was called Ray (short for my middle name, Raymond). That didn't last through college, where professors just called on you by your first name. I tried a little bit to get them to use my familiar name but it wasn't worth the effort. This article made me think and I realize I haven't had regular contact with anyone who knows me as Ray for four decades. If I go to my 50th high school reunion next year, I suppose I will find people who remember me as Ray, if so it will be odd to hear.

Shouting Thomas said...

I wish I was still a young hustler in the tech biz.

I'd be making a fortune in the development of the Holodeck. VC money is flowing like honey. Check out the vast fortune Magic Leap has harvested with no product yet to market.

This desire to try out different identities represents consumer demand for a Holodeck.

First to market with a Holodeck minus the gloves and goggles reaps a spectacular fortune.

Mr. Forward said...

I looked for “how to play with words” or the nearest proximity. Bingo! What do I win?

Leslie Graves said...

Hey! I guessed right. My second guess was "How Do We Say 'Have a Good Night'".

Johnathan Birks said...

I'd maybe click on the nanny bloodshed link.

Leland said...

How I Avoid Reading The New York Times


I read Althouse instead.

Bob Boyd said...

"How to blank your blankety-blank without unblanking your blanker" is the attitude of, we are the experts.
These "journos" are mostly young people who have spent their entire lives in school. All the people they admired were teachers. They want to be the admired teacher and explain things.

Freeman Hunt said...

I was almost Polly. I found this out in kindergarten and had everyone at school call me Polly for a week. Lots of parrot jokes.

James K said...

How the NYT came to emulate Vox.

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

My parents named me Anne, middle name Ruth for my maternal grandmother. Her name was actually Rosalie Ruth, but she went by Ruth. With the last name of Staskelunas, my parents blessed me by giving me a short first name.

My mother was Mary Ann, yet they named me Anne. I always wonder about the two spellings of Ann and if there is a reason for it.

However, even though my name was Anne, I was always called Annie. Apparently since I inherited my father's sunny disposition, Annie fit better.

The only time I was called Anne was when I was in trouble, and then it had two syllables, A-yunn.

wendybar said...

How is the NYT's still considered "All the News That's Fit to Print"?????

Quaestor said...

My mother is a rule defier, a pantsuit wearer, a reiki master and a tarot card reader.

Reiki. Tarot. One thing is abundantly clear the ...child part of that chick's handle is more apt than she'd like to admit.

Kay said...

The “How” form of headline writing seems to go beyond just the NYT, I see it all over. It seems to be a product of the newer internet listicle, click-baity style of writing. It has been seeping into the old guard traditional media. This morning I looked at a hard copy of USAToday and found a good portion of the articles were structured like lists/capsules. It’s just the new way of writing, I guess.

RNB said...

"Catherine Gracechild, identifies nominally as the child of her mother, Mary Grace."

"Hi. I'm Catherine. This is my mother, Grace. And this is her worthless, anonymous sperm donor."

Quaestor said...

The name is Amy

Isn't Amy a diminutive form of a more ancient Latin name, Amanda? (Amanda is the feminine form of Amandus.) That would be like christening a boy as Willie instead of William, "cute" in childhood but embarrassing in adulthood.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

How the El Paso shooter sounds like Al Gore.

Not a headline in the hack D press.

Jersey Fled said...

Must be a new headline writer. Who is especially lazy.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

How the Dayton Shooter echos the New Radical Left and Antifa

The Godfather said...

I’ve often wondered; suppose that instead of naming me “The Godfather “, my parents had named me “Satan’s Spawn”. How would my life have been different?

I’d probably have ended up as a headline writer on the New York Times.

gilbar said...

1st, that's the One article I would have clicked on too
2nd, Don't worry Lori! you can STILL become an exotic dancer, if you want
(your problem is your BOOBS, not your name; you stupid Bitch!

n.n said...

Althouse is for boring... on her days off. Something that most people aspire to, hope and dream, when they are not working, playing, or otherwise engaged in the simulation.

cacimbo said...

The name sure made a difference in the life of "A Boy Named Sue."

alanc709 said...

My mom planned on naming me Cosmo. Thank god she changed her mind.

tcrosse said...

How Do We Say ‘Have a Good Night’? Let Us Count the Ways

Number five will amaze you

tcrosse said...

How Bill de Blasio Went From Progressive Hope to Punching Bag

You won't believe what happened next.

narciso said...

How we got fidel his job (that was buckleys twist) they almost did the same for prince ahmed in the khashoggi kerfluggle (silva gamed this out in new girl)

Rory said...

Tiffany can be a stripper, but "Tiffi" is a sorority/preppy name.

Yeah, the "How" construction means there's to be no discussion about what happened.

gilbar said...

A pic of lori depino, Pre Boob job

chuck said...

Guessed right on the click through. You could have made it a poll...

Aussie Pundit said...

"How I Came to Own My Name/My parents never told me that they had changed my name from Tiffi to Lauren when I was 6 months old. Would I have been a different person as Tiffi?"

I picked it! I picked the Althouse pick, and it wasn't a guess either.
Do I win something?

narciso said...

Kerfluffle, now we see where they got the story wrong

Anonymous said...

"How the push for gender-parity in journalism led to the dumbing-down and trivialization of the prestige press."

stlcdr said...

Blogger Kevin said...
“How X happened (or is happening)” is perfect for today’s media.

It sets in the reader’s mind that X has already been proven true, while supplying “evidence” in the article that supports the assertion.

It is correlation journalism and allows maximum manipulation of the reader.

8/12/19, 7:15 AM


Or, based on the assertion that X is true, what the reader should do about it. See: Trump is a Racist.

narciso said...

You nevet go full vox, its unhealthy, we all agree rhe commie candidate is the righr one.

narciso said...

Sometimes its the right one:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUSKCN1V20OE

Sebastian said...

Amy would not have been Althouse.

JAORE said...

How to visit SF and avoid stepping in crap.

CWJ said...

My given name has served me well with some glitches here and there, but I was originally going to be David. I have imagined how that choice would have influenced both me and my life.

As for the guessing game, I had narrowed the possibilities down to two, of which the name headline was one. So I guess that at best I half-know Althouse.

Browndog said...

How Vox explains the news is the headline we all need.

How YouTube Radicalized Brazil

Upcoming:

How losing WWII radicalized Germany

How the printing press radicalized colonial America

Bruce Hayden said...

“This article made me think and I realize I haven't had regular contact with anyone who knows me as Ray for four decades. If I go to my 50th high school reunion next year, I suppose I will find people who remember me as Ray, if so it will be odd to hear.”

Fraternity brother of mine has a very common first and last name, which he used in college. But he moved back to Boston after graduation. Both he and his wife had switched over to using their middle names, which were both historical (at least from the Revolutionary War) Boston family names. They came back to, I believe, our 40th reunion, and often seemed to miss it when the rest of us used their given first names. Of course, that is part of what having fraternity brothers is good for - puncturing your pretensions.

Most people take this sort of thing in stride. But not always. Guy I lived with for a semester went by “Jay” while in college. Very bright, but socially a disaster. We got crosswise because I had a girlfriend and wanted to use our room for amorous activities. Nope. Rooms are for studying. So the amorous activities were limited to her room, until I got a single in the fraternity house. In any case, Jay fumbled around after college, but finally ended up where everyone expected him, in medicine. And apparently, when becoming an MD, he switched his name to “Bear”. Don’t know why he picked that name - he was a small guy without a very cuddly personality. My best friend would occasionally run into Jay around town, and address him as such. Nope, he didn’t know any Jays. He was Bear. He had no idea who this friend was talking to. But then, when addressed as Bear, would fess up to having gone to college together.

Then, there was my unsuccessful attempt to change names. Not mine- my mother’s. She never liked her given first name, much preferring her middle name, coinciding with the first name of our kind blog hostess here. I figured that she might as well change it to what she preferred, instead of complaining about it for so many years. So, there was most of a decade when I addressed her as “Ann”. My father would get bent a bit out of shape, defending her, but I logically pointed out that she preferred Ann. Maybe if I had gotten my brothers to join in, I might have been successful. But that wasn’t to be. They were always too much the suck ups with her (younger brothers competing for maternal attention - which drove much of our behavior growing up).

William said...

After Tiffi, I suggest she go for an even more elemental and basic name. Perhaps she should call herself simply O. She should ask her friends for permission to change her name again......In college sororities, they put crash helmets on the Tiffanies and compete to see who can toss them the furthest. It's called throwing a tiff. It's a popular sport.

Bruce Hayden said...

“My parents named me Anne, middle name Ruth for my maternal grandmother. Her name was actually Rosalie Ruth, but she went by Ruth. With the last name of Staskelunas, my parents blessed me by giving me a short first name.”

Sister in law has those reversed. So, when she got her PhD, I had all sorts of sex questions saved up. Except that she insisted to going as Dr Ruthless.

“The only time I was called Anne was when I was in trouble, and then it had two syllables, A-yunn.”

My partner’s parents used complete first and middle names to indicate disfavor. So Greg would become “Gregory Charles”. Etc. She copied this when she raised kids. Not sure though if her daughter could ever be stern enough with her boys to pull it off with them. We had the second one up to MT a couple weeks ago, and grandma did use this on him on a couple of occasions (like when he sneaked out on the ATV at 1am, and roared around the neighborhood, where the majority living here are on Medicare). Still works.

Big Mike said...

So somewhere out there is a woman who could have been a Nobel-winning physicist, except her parents named her Tiffany so she never took any STEM classes — thought they were “icky” — got implants and makes a living as a stripper. Sorry, but I don’t think so.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

How not to explain or walk thru a timeline of events

Lurker21 said...

Journalism schools and creative writing programs say that the "why" is hard or impossible to know, concentrate on the "how."

The "how" you can tell, and tell in a detailed authoritative manner. They "why" is something implied in the "how" that you can communicate to readers indirectly.

If you can explain the "how" well enough, convincingly enough, and with enough detail, you can tell people how to think.

Kevin said...
“How X happened (or is happening)” is perfect for today’s media.

It sets in the reader’s mind that X has already been proven true, while supplying “evidence” in the article that supports the assertion.

It is correlation journalism and allows maximum manipulation of the reader.


Very true. I believe that is what people used to call "begging the question," when they understood what the phrase actually meant.

Maillard Reactionary said...

They're trying to subliminally influence us to support Elizabeth Warren by using the Indian expression "How" a lot.

madAsHell said...

How to Greet Elizabeth Warren.

NCMoss said...

Althouse is getting ready to unveil a "dipthong" tag which sounds more racy than it actually is.

Michael said...

How Many Ways To Say Good Night Forever

by Bill and Hillary

RigelDog said...

Yes I do know what my name might have been! Mom had 4 names picked out for the baby to be, if a girl, and each depended on hair color of the infant. Blonde: Denise, Light Brown: Sheryl, Dark Brown: Danielia, Red Hair: Darla Rae. Glad I was not a red-head, that's all I can say. Also, she ended up picking a name from the list that did NOT match my hair color.

Ken B said...

My thoughts were the same as Laslo's. Close, but no cigar as Bill Clinton said to Elfrida Lewinsky in the alternate universe where Monica was named Elfrida.

Temujin said...

How the New York Times ceased to be the paper of record and just starting mailing it in.

rcocean said...

Once in love with Amy...But once in love with Amy, always in love with Amy
Ever and ever sweetly you'll romance her, trouble is the answer will be
That Amy'd rather stay in love with me.

rcocean said...

Oh it was Mary, Mary. Plain as any name can be...

rcocean said...

Songs about Ann? can't think of one. Annie? yes.

rcocean said...

If only my last name had been trump. How my life would've changed.

Ken B said...

Rcocean
My most successful pickup line was “Hi, I'm Warren Buffett Jr.”

Ann Althouse said...

"Once in love with Amy...But once in love with Amy, always in love with Amy..."

Yes, I knew that song when I was young. My mother would sing it. Maybe Amy was her choice. I think the choice of Ann over Amy had to do with the middle name, which is Adair. My mother loved the combination "Ann Adair" and I was repeatedly told that if I became an actress, that could be my stage name. I didn't like being told that, though, so I never used Adair, even though, when I was 50+ years old, I noticed that it's pretty cool as a homophone for "a dare" and it's also the equivalent of the 3-syllable first name I thought was better (something like Alison or Stephanie). It's also Anna, the name I thought was clearly better than the too-plane first name Ann — Anna Dare.

Me said...

I bet the nanny bloodshed story isn't as exciting as it sounds.

Earnest Prole said...

A generic clickbait headline form that became widespread at least five years ago. Et tu, Times?

jerpod said...

rcocean said...
Songs about Ann? can't think of one. Annie? yes.
*******************
Bobber Ann?

Big Mike said...

Instead of "Ann" or "Amy" it could have been "Amelia." Think about it.

mockturtle said...

It is obvious that Althouse commenters are more creative in their headlines than are those of the NYT. And Angle-Dyne accurately denotes the reason--or one of the reasons--why the NYT has become rubbish.

stevew said...

I thought "How Youtube Radicalized Brazil" for you, it's the only not boring headline with boring meaning ordinary and lacking insight.

For me, I am intrigued by "How a Nanny’s Adventure in the U.S. Ended in Bloodshed"; it has a kinda True Crime vibe that I find interesting.

Brian McKim and/or Traci Skene said...

They initially considered Blaise. I'd be dead now --either from throat cancer or bullying.

wildswan said...

Amy would have liked color-coordinated clothes and vicious malicious gossip. So Ann would have struggled with the feeling that she was a Dare trapped in an Amy.

Achilles said...

How the NYTs says exactly what Carlos Slims wants it to say.

DavidD said...

My Dad’s first choice for my name was Daryl but after my older siblings started saying it over and over in a twangy voice he changed his mind; he wanted to name my little sister April Mae—her birthday is even 4/5–but he lost out on her first name, too.

My most-likely headlines were the one about the nanny—I’d be curious to know what happened and to whom—and the one about parent friends because I have no idea what that means.

mockturtle said...

I would have been named Patrick, had I been a boy, rather than Patricia.

Bill Peschel said...

I wouldn't click on any of those titles. I spent 20 years in journalism. Working in a newsroom, I read every story that came across the wires.

I got to see how reporters shaped the narrative to suit themselves and their bosses. I saw newspapers go from telling some of the truths (and getting into deep trouble over it) to CYAing and going along.

I also saw a lot of reporters and found them to be uncurious and not very bright.

Now, I'd rather read what you people think than and rarely read original journalism. It has to be really worthwhile (the last one, in fact, was the New York magazine story about the Texas brothers who destroyed their father's company over their rivalry. Fascinating human interest stuff.

Bilwick said...

I'm waiting for "How Liberals Went From Limited Government Rationalists to Batshit Crazy State-fellators."

n.n said...

NYT style guideline... How now brown cow.

Ann Althouse said...

"Songs about Ann? can't think of one. Annie? yes."

There's "Miss Ann."

According to Wikipedia, "'Miss Ann "Miss Ann is an expression used inside the African-American community, to refer to a European-American woman (or sometimes a black woman) who is arrogant and condescending in her attitude. The characteristics associated with someone called a "Miss Ann" include being considered "uppity", or in the case of a black woman, "acting white".... It was a pejorative way of commenting on imperious behaviour from white women, particularly when it came with racist undertones. It is seldom used among young African-Americans today."

Ann Althouse said...

Don't know how I managed to write "too-plane."

Ann Althouse said...

Oh, oh, oh, Miss Ann, you're doing something no-one can
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Miss Ann, you're doing something no-one can
Believing and deceiving, it's driving me to grieving now

I want to hear, hear, hear Miss Ann, I want to hear her call my name[x2]
Because she keep calling loud, she calls it so sweet and so plain

Well, I told Miss Ann once, and I told Miss Ann twice[x2]
Boys, when I'm with Miss Ann, I'm living in paradise

Clyde said...

I guessed the correct one.

As far as names go, people always have the option of changing their names if they don't like the one they were given at birth. My Uncle Leif was born a Larry, but he told me that he never felt like a Larry and so he chose to become Leif. My Aunt Deborah chose to become Shiloh. I myself was called by my initials when I was a child, since my dad was Clyde. When I started school, I told everyone that my name was Clyde, and that was that. It wasn't really a change in my case, just choosing to go by my actual name rather than my initials.

Earnest Prole said...

Annie, please don't cheat
Give me all my meat

Hank Ballard & The Midnighters’ 1954 hit “Work With Me Annie”

Rockport Conservative said...

Names, I was sure that would be the one. I found naming my children was not easy. My daughter's name was to be either Teresa or Melissa. I wonder who she would be had I named her Melissa. One of my son's I named Geoffrey, I went between Geoffrey and Gregory for 5 days before they told me you have to name the baby before you leave the hospital. I actually told one of my friends his name was Gregory, but Geoffrey it was.
As for the what ifs, I've often wondered what it would be like to be from a single birth. I've had many people ask me what it is like to be a twin. I really don't know. After marriage we did not live in the same state until 20 years ago, so I guess in that respect I know what it is like to not be a twin, except I've always used the pronoun we, meaning her and my other sisters, or me and my husband or family. Context shows the difference.
Does everyone wonder what if? Probably.

Mkd said...

You picked the only one I would have clicked on. What kind of a rule denier changes a baby's name based on the opinions of others?! I love both Amy and Ann, but Ann Adair is amazing. And I think you've lived up to it.

Paul Doty said...

The only thing missing in the headlines: One Weird Trick!

Leora said...

i connect this to the disturbing feeling I get when I remember that there are two women US Senators named Tammy.

narciso said...

one was the former dobie gillis star, the other one of the last people to talk to Hopkinson,


https://legalinsurrection.com/2019/08/audit-finds-84000-duplicate-voter-records-in-californias-motor-voter-system/

Bunkypotatohead said...

They should change the name of that rag to Neurotic Women's Times.

The Honeydogs had a song titled Miss Ann Thrope.