December 8, 2018

"I met men at hotels and at their homes in the hills. Then, I met a new guy at a bar in the Mission District, the perfect place to meet before a one-night stand. Except..."

"... I fell for him the moment he handed me a red Gerber daisy. I fell for the small gap between his teeth. I touched his hand by feigning interest in the ring he had made from a bicycle spoke. We loved the same obscure music. Days later, he waltzed with me on Berkeley Pier, my gloves arranged in his breast pocket like a kerchief. He created a rabbit out of a squeegee and a towel and made me laugh at its antics. The afternoon I chose to tell my husband, light streamed into our yellow kitchen. Our son was in his room, playing with Hogwarts toys...."

From "When a Boyfriend Joins the Marriage/They agreed she could have sex on the side as long as he didn’t have to know about it. Then she fell in love" (NYT).

87 comments:

Earnest Prole said...

Surely this is an Onion parody of the Bay Area.

Bay Area Guy said...

"I bring them water. I kiss one good night but not the other. One is my boyfriend of 10 years. The other is my husband. My husband and I actually consider ourselves exes, but we never divorced. We still love each other, just not romantically."

Crazy
I'm crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy
Crazy for feeling so blue
I knew
You'd love me as long as you wanted
And then some day
You'd leave me for somebody new.


"Crazy," Patsy Cline (1961)

If Harvey Weinstein has to deal with this type of crazy Upper West Side Manhattan Women, maybe the potted plant is not such a bad option.

Bay Area Guy said...

Did I say New York women? I meant crazy SF women, but what's the difference.....

Yancey Ward said...

I suppose the husband is a graduate of Evryman?

Saint Croix said...

Althouse, your NYT links are awesome at the end of the month, when I can't fucking read them, and they are really, really shitty at the beginning of the month. And I click on them, and then I'm like, why the fuck did I click on that?

I have a half a mind to go back to late November and read that awesome shit I wanted to read, but couldn't. It's probably still relevant, right?

I have a little voice that says, how do you know it's good if you couldn't read it, maybe it's all shitty NYT all the time. And another little voice that says, no, the fucking late month clicks are awesome, I know this, I just got to train my brain not to click on this early month shit.

Anyway, don't bother clicking on the Playgirl G-rated free sex fantasy at the NYT. Hold off for, I don't know, December 19 or maybe even December 27. I'll bet the NYT free shit is amazing on December 27.

David Begley said...

Wife, “Husband, I want you to help build the addition to the house with my boyfriend.”

Husband, “You mean kind of like the prisoner who builds his own gallows?”

Wife, “Not exactly. Your death will be nightly. Death by thousands of cuts.”

Sick.

Darrell said...

Spread those gams, Babe.
I'm going to ball you silly.

A story as old as the hills.

gspencer said...

Court to Ms Braithwaite, "And what is your occupation?"

"I am a barfly."

"And by that you mean you loiter in bars waiting for men you don't know to buy you drinks."

"That is correct, your honor."

Darrell said...

Court to Ms Braithwaite, "Do you wear panties?"

n.n said...

Friends with "benefits".

n.n said...

Maso meet Sado. We're in lust and pleasure. Civil unions for consenting adults and we don't have to hear about their fetishes, weirdness, monotonic perspective, and extreme divergence. Well, at least not until their minority becomes political congruent.

Jess said...

Well, it's less messy than a shooting, but in the end, there's really not much difference.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Not for me, thanks

Michael Fitzgerald said...

This was written by Paul Ryan's wife, right?

Darrell said...

AOS had a story about Cucksheds yesterday. Luxury sheds for your backyard where you wait for your wife's fucking to conclude. It's big with the GOPe crowd. Weakly Standard should cover it before it folds.

The Bergall said...

The New York Times really prints some funny stuff these days! Can't make it up!

Oh wait......................./s

Michael The Magnificent said...

Pathetic.

I have no sympathy for this idiot, nor the one who built a Cuckshack in his back yard so his wife could get it on with her boyfriend without him getting in the way.

mockturtle said...

Disgusting.

Rob said...

Is it wrong to hope that the boyfriend and the husband fall in love and the narcissist author becomes the odd (wo)man out?

Freeman Hunt said...

What a sunny picture of a totally dysfunctional situation.

chickenlittle said...

Dan Savage approves and calls her "monogamish."

Humperdink said...

The husband needs a hobby. Say, watching every episode of Forensics Files.

Bill Peschel said...

This is news?

Earnest Prole said...

Drop the author’s name into google images for a special treat.

chickenlittle said...

Drop the author’s name into google images for a special treat.

Now I pity the men.

rhhardin said...

Always click on links with Open in Private Window, which first prevents cookies from a third party site and second gives you a zero-count read for the NYT.

gilbar said...

does she realize that her boyfriend is a fag? (NTTIAWWT)

rhhardin said...

Love is a feeling, to the NYT.

gilbar said...

seriously, i'm assuming that the nest episode will be her OUTRAGE when she finds out that her boyfriend is leaving her for her husband

gilbar said...

i'd look down my iowa nose at this, if i didn't Know three people back in Ames, with this Exact relationship

Earnest Prole said...

The father chose poorly and is now trying to make the best of it.

Sebastian said...

"The father chose poorly and is now trying to make the best of it."

This.

I have seen it, but without the postmod rationalization: that is new, soon to be another weapon in the culture war. The article is just a way to soften up the deplorables. That it's all "for the child" is the tell.

Dave Begley said...

1. What does the son think of this arrangement?

2. You couldn’t pay me enough money to do that woman; with or without her hat.

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

Is tonight's theme emasculated males?

Darrell said...

The Secret Life of Farm Animals.
Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town.

OldManRick said...

How would she feel if the husband's girlfriend joined the marriage? Why didn't she suggest he should find someone on the side for "equality"?

The human race is a very neurotic species. We see all kinds of selfish and/or neurotic behavior all the time. We see messiah complexes; we see body dysmorphia disorders such as anorexia; we see hysteria and derangement syndromes about lots of things.

Only the New York Times feels this should be celebrated.

The Crack Emcee said...

This is how pimping gets started:

You charge the "boyfriend" money to sleep with the wife - and then get more wives.

Your first one was broken anyway....

The Cracker Emcee Rampant said...

The NYT as Cosmo. It pays the bills and our credibility was shot, anyway.

Mr Wibble said...

I have seen it, but without the postmod rationalization: that is new, soon to be another weapon in the culture war. The article is just a way to soften up the deplorables. That it's all "for the child" is the tell.

Back when SCOTUS ruled on gay marriage, there were about four articles by my count within a month declaring that gays weren't monogamous, hence their marriages wouldn't be monogamous, and we straights needed to get over our expectation of monogamy.

One of those articles was in the NYTimes.

rcocean said...

Now that the NYT published it, they'll rewrite it and sell it to "Lifetime TV".

Chest Rockwell said...

Wealthy, liberal white people are a wellspring of moral degeneracy.

elkh1 said...

Silly husband. If she made babies with her boyfriends, he would be stuck with supporting her boy friends' babies. They, however, could make babies with other married women ...

donald said...

These creatures are not human.

RichardJohnson said...

Tale from the '70s. Two high school friends decided to have open marriages. It ended in divorce. Wife of A fell in love with B.

Same old, same old.

Crack Emcee- interesting remark- another take on the dysfunctional nature of marriages that stray from monogamy.

Ralph L said...

They're welcome to screw up their own lives, but that's a vile thing to do to young children.

FIDO said...

Now, let's not be hasty in judging this husband.

1) He has shifted to the boyfriend a job that he no longer wants to do with his wife. Conversation, her emotional issues and sex are now no longer his problem.

2) Assuming the wife has any of her soul left (unlikely, I know), she now has a HUGE moral burden. So any game he wants to go to, any fishing trips he wants to make, any time he doesn't want to visit her whore of a mother...he has a get out of shit card that is platinum edition.

3) Can anyone say 'blackmail material'?

4) If he still has a sex drive, he can find someone on the side as well, but not be stupid enough to actually tell the wife. And if she finds out, she can't say shit.

5) If he doesn't mind, she doesn't matter. This feels like emotional oneupsmanship "Can you work with him? Can you watch us have sex? Can you clean me out?" She seems to be looking for SOME emotional connection with her husband and...zilch. If she wasn't so morally bankrupt, I would pity her.


6) Gentlemen...it takes time to accumulate a nest egg, shuffle finances around, emotionally disconnect, work out a transfer to another part of the state/country, and do all the little chores as a prelude to a male successful divorce.

Not Sure said...

This story baffles me. SF always seems like a place where the ratio of straight women to straight men is at least 2:1. How does this well-past-her-prime woman reverse those odds? Seems like the two guys have gotta be bi. I mean, it's fucking SF!

Not Sure said...

She sort-of blames this arrangement on her parents for getting divorced, but seems incurious about what form of weirdness the kid will bring to *his* future relationships after seeing what a sucker's game marriage can be.

EDH said...

You don't have to guess what Maurice would would say.

Birkel said...

Every relationship possibility has been tried by people before us. Very few options are stable.

This situation was destined to fail. It is an unstable state.

Henry said...

Where do people find the time?

FIDO said...

Every relationship possibility has been tried by people before us. Very few options are stable.


There is this bigotry in the young, that everyone who lived before them was a freaking idiot.

Unknown said...

Originaly the husband would have shot the boyfriend.. and that is a bit much, but this is way too far the other way.

I think Hot Chocolate had it about right in 1976 with "Man To Man". A civilized discussion between two non-emasculated men with lots of consideration of "The Children". "If You really love her then you must love our children too".

Fernandistein said...

Awww. Feelings are swell.

Browndog said...

Oh, for fucks sake.

Romancing the decadence.

Ambrose said...

She is brilliantly channeling Raymond Chandler for the 21st century.
l

sane_voter said...

I didn't click the article but tracked down her photo at her business twitter.

https://twitter.com/SimplyCelebrate

Hooking up with a bunch of men in SF. If I was her husband I wouldn't touch her again, and wouldn't be her husband.

Matt said...

We're reaching levels of degeneracy that would make the Weimar blush.

Nice work, feminists and pussy lib men.

David Begley said...

She’s a happiness coach!

“10 totally true things about me:

I once scooped a fallen lemon birthday pie from the floor and turned it into lemon crumble. (My superhero talent is finding light in the dark.)
I live with my ex-husband who is wonderful, loving, and fun — and we are raising our son together.

My son’s middle name is Q and he is trying to teach me how to juggle.

I spent the first 25 years of my life wishing I were a gal who could wear hats. (Becoming who we are is a practice!)

When I first stepped foot in San Francisco, I knew I was home.

Three of my favorite non-hat accessories are my Quisp Cereal watch, pink furry coat, and orange dotted chiffon scarf.

I love hot air balloons and my beau once surprised me with a ride in one at daybreak.

I work in a beautiful studio in the backyard that was built with lots of sweat and love by my ex-husband and my beau of 10 years.

I’m teaching myself how to stop being matchy-matchy by wearing stripes with polka dots with hound’s-tooth.

I have a vintage black velvet cloak that I’ve made myself wear to the grocery store or library in order to practice not saving things for good. (If this were the last day of my life, I’d like to be wearing something fun and fancy. Wouldn’t you?!)”

LOON.

cronus titan said...

Saw this article yesterday and was surprised Althouse did not post it. This is catnip for this blog . . .

I did see her picture and . . she looks exactly like you would expect.

Also, she spend a lot of her time on kindness. Be careful of people who lecture about kindness -- they are the most unkind people you will ever meet.

mockturtle said...

Yeah, she looks like the flake she obviously is.

dreams said...

We're so sophisticated that we can pretend that the song "Baby, it's cold outside" is harmful.

Luke Lea said...

I propose a new tag: the Decadent New York Times

J Scott said...

The actual subtext here is that housing in the Bay area is way too expensive.

Dennis P. said...

How incredibly selfish.

Dennis P. said...

If you can bring yourself to look, her Facebook feed is open and you can find some awkward pictures of her ex, her lover Ian, her son and the cuckshack.

traditionalguy said...

The problem with the pure slut is that she falls in love with the seductive men. And there is an endless number of seductive men waiting for a chance at conquering her. Being married to that wife would be masochism that will never end.

n.n said...

If it's polyamory, then #NoLabels #NoJudgment #LoveWins, yet it is not politically congruent ("=").

Ken B said...

Birkel
I once knew a guy who talked about “modern sex”. He said people way back when had no idea of “modern” sex.

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tim in vermont said...

J Scott knows what this blog is about.

tim in vermont said...

He had one rule, and she broke it and rammed it down his throat. He's a bigger cuckold than Paul Ryan.

tim in vermont said...

I see the Ryan angle was covered upthread.

Leland said...

The woman seems boring and selfish. Everything is about her feeling great about the things others do for her. The few other things she does is try to do trivial things that she thinks she is bad at doing, like wearing a hat or getting men to sleep with a promiscuous woman.

Tina Trent said...

With three working adults, they can't afford a place big enough, but they can afford to meet in hotel rooms and go out repeatedly to bars?

And it's for the child that they spend their money this way?

tim in vermont said...

The woman seems boring and selfish. Everything is about her feeling great about the things others do for her. The few other things she does is try to do trivial things that she thinks she is bad at doing, like wearing a hat or getting men to sleep with a promiscuous woman.

The very model of the modern marxist feminist.

rhhardin says that women don’t begin to realize that the selfishness that men indulge in them because they have pussies is unattractive until sometime in their thirties, when they begin to try to hide it. This article is just further proof that he is right.

tim in vermont said...

How do you write women so well?

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gilbar said...

With three working adults, they can't afford a place big enough, because they can afford to meet in hotel rooms and go out repeatedly to bars?

fixed it for you :)

gilbar said...

Tiv said "He had one rule, and she broke it and rammed it down his throat. "

well, the rule has to be cleaned off once it's pulled out of her, and the husband doesn't seem to mind (on account of because he's bi)

J2 said...

What's a
Gerber daisy?

gilbar said...

i wondered that too? i figured it was a new type of knife

Chris N said...

She was working in Garden 7, near where the fire had been. I saw a few chunks of blackened wood amidst the green. Her elbows lifted methodically, delicately, and I saw that she still was good. She was radiant.

I wanted to go back. I would speak, or not speak. To lay with her again. The silence of the forest crept up to the corrugated metal of Pod 471, suspending us there.

My hands and face and vest and stunk of burnt oil.





tim in vermont said...

it's pulled out of her, and the husband doesn't seem to mind (on account of because he's bi)

So the rule really was rammed down his throat.

Unknown said...

"open marriage" never works. If someone is cares about you so little that they are ok with you have sex with others, will they be there when you need them? ha. Are they really listening when you talk? I doubt it.

Unknown said...

My friend had his wife leave him for a woman. He was much more devastated that if she just divorced him, and was at a loss what to do about the kids.

Dan Truitt said...

I read the NYT article. This made me slightly..sick. I'd like to talk to that son of hers in a couple decades. God, people are so screwed up sometimes.