July 11, 2018

"Hi, sweetie. It’s Mom. Do you remember Mr. Levert? He lived behind the high school with that garden. You’d do yard work over there sometimes?"

"He loved you; I’m sure you remember. Anyway, he was in a car accident. Died on impact. Call me back."

From "Lede-Buried Voicemails from Your Mom" (Via Metafilter).

24 comments:

MadisonMan said...

Also known as: How to guarantee a call-back.

But you know, kids these days hate talking on phones. You have to craft a text instead that can't be ignored.

Nonapod said...

That's some serious passive-aggression. I don't respond well to passive aggressive behavior from loved ones. Just tell me what you want directly, please.

Curious George said...

When voice mail started to become more prevalent and replaced answering machines my mom would still leave recordings saying "Georgie if you're there, pick up."

tcrosse said...

Hi, Pablo. It's Mom. Remember Marc Chagall, that Jewish guy who painted those flying rabbis and did those murals at the Metropolitan Opera ? He doesn't think you can paint. Call me back when you get the time.

madAsHell said...

"Georgie if you're there, pick up."

I spent far too long at the Boeing Co. listening to women engineers trying to rally their kids out of bed, and off to school by voice mail.

Michael K said...

My kids don't answer the phone and voicemails get returned a month later.

If I want an answer, I have to text them.

bagoh20 said...

The best way to get a call back is to threaten to come over in person.

Paddy O said...

Ha! Loved this.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fernandistein said...

Phone = you don't have to see people or be near them.
Text = you don't even have to talk to them.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Char Char Binks said...

The lede, or lead, isn't really buried, at least not all the way. "Do you remember?" is a dead giveaway.

robinintn said...

Sent this text to my daughter last week: “Hey, sweetie I need to let you know the details of my will - no hurry, but call when you get time.”

Got the call within 30 seconds.

Freeman Hunt said...

When my mother wants a call back from my brother, she sends a message saying, "Proof of life!"

The Godfather said...

In lots of movies, TV shows, etc., there's the scene where A is giving B the "bad news", and it always goes something like: Marcia, I don't know how to tell you this. It's really hard. I know you're strong, but this is going to take all your strength. Etc., etc., etc., with a lot of moaning and mumbling.

Meanwhile, Marcia is thinking about all the terrible things that A may be about to tell her, and she's in agony.

You understand why the dramatist wrote it that way, but I trust you'd do your best not to do it for real. Marcia, Mom died is the kindest way to start the conversation.

I'm thinking in the context of a voice communication. I don't know about tweeting the news.

JAORE said...

All you married men take a step forward. Not so fast,Johnson.

Portlandmermaid said...

From the link: Julie missing, war crimes, and Buster's last day were very funny.

Sacto_Dave said...

19 years old with a couple of buddies at Dad’s house; something to do with a car I’m rebuilding. “Oh by the way Fritz (my dog) died.” Buddies were shocked by the insensitivity. I was humiliated.

Sacto_Dave said...

See post above. Yeah, “by the way”. Thanks Dad.

Begonia said...

Portlandmermaid, I thought the humidifier one was hilarious.

Thorley Winston said...

I have a little bit of a different perspective. My parents are both in their late sixties and whenever I speak to them on the phone or in person, they will often start a conversation with “do you remember your great uncle’s cousin . . . .” and then it will usually be about some health issue facing them. Half the time it’s someone that I vaguely remember at best and need prompting because I haven’t spoken to them or thought about them in decades. If my mom left me a message about someone who lived next door to us when I was a kid who died, I could absolutely see her starting with “do you remember . . .”

Jamie said...

I am totally going to steal the "proof of life" thing for MY brother!

DrMaturin said...

@Michael K

When I actually do need to talk to my kids I have to text them to tell them to call me. It's the only way.

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