Wrote William in last night's café. What I said about squirrels — in the first post of the day yesterday — was:
Squirrels don't have the brainpower to think of committing suicide. They don't even have the wits to think of not bothering to get food and just to waste away because what is the point of all this skittering around collecting nuts? They don't even think of scampering to another spot on the globe to see if the nuts taste different somewhere out there. And they don't think of throwing themselves off a high limb and ending it all. I have seen from my window squirrels falling from high in a tree. They hit the ground and immediately get up and run. Run run run. Get get get. It never stops until death snatches them. They don't go hurling themselves into the arms of death. It's just not a squirrel concept. I know. I read their mind from my vantage point here at the computer in front of the big window looking out on the trees.The post had been about how to use all the mesclun from the garden, the potential to make a smoothie, the related need for a frozen banana "squirreled... away in the freezer," and a video of an squirrel — a Viennese squirrel — getting fed a banana. I only brought up suicide in the comments because Loren W Laurent, dragging in the demise of Anthony Bourdain, said:
The squirrel doesn't need to travel the world, compulsively looking for new tastes to satiate the hole in the self of wanting more.
Respect the squirrel....
For the squirrel survival is enough.
The kindness of a banana is magic.
Appreciate magic; don't expect it.
Don't become addicted to it.
Failed junkie.
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I'd want to be an antelope (a Real north american prong horned antelope; not those imitation african ones).
You can never tell when it might be Really Useful to be able to run 20 miles or so, at 40 miles an hour. This county might Suck! I'd bet that the next county over is Way Better! Lets go find out!
Actually there's a berserker aspect to fox squirrels. I've shot a couple which then leaped out in a bold and mighty arc, striking the earth dead, far from the tree. Charge the gun muzzles.
- Several fox squirrels were harmed in the writing of this comment, but they were eaten. If that comforts....
If you get to come back as an animal, consider the river otter. Wonderfully fast under water, well-fed with healthful, high-omega-three salmonids, but above all playful. Roaring down their slides, playing king-of-the-rock, messing about with sleek lady otters; you could do worse than return as an otter.
You can get primates and other lower mammals addicted to cocaine, fwiw. Creepy scientists have proven that. Sugar water, too. You'll have to go lower on the food chain, maybe all the way down to bacteria, to be absolutely sure you can live without a hole in your soul.
My spirit animal is a grizzly bear. I’m certain of it. Big, strong, and federally protected — perfect!
Actually, the eating of those fox squirrels kept on giving. I made them into samosas and took them to a potluck in Boulder. I was thronged by enthusiastic gray ladies who said, "Oh, I just LOVE the samosas. You've GOT to give me your recipe!"
So I did. "First, you shoot the heads off 4 fox squirrels. You seethe them until the flesh falls from the bones. Then, taking a...." So that was the end of the recipe.
I took the leftover samosas home - after the lamentable incident of the recipe, not all got eaten during the later potluck. My daughter, the sharp-tongued young biologist, shared them with me for lunch the next day.
"Good samosas, Dad. What's in them?"
"Squirrel. Fox squirrel. Sciurus niger."
Cold glare, plate shove. "Dad, we don't serve rodent to people without telling them first."
"We don't?"
"No, we don't."
So in the Kenton household you will get told in advance if I'm serving you sciurus. You will be unwarned about the cervidae, ammotragus (won't serve much of that; produces hypertrophic masseters from all the chewing; rubberoid like Nike soles), or oryx.
I'm a dog.
I observe the sparrows a lot. Squirrels I hate because they raid birds' nests.
They are horny and very prolific, mating out on our fence and have new nestlings even into the fall. When the babies leave the nest they hassle the parents to get fed by fluttering their wings and chirping. That's where most the noise comes from. If the parents are smart they abandon the neighborhood. Some late fledges can't make it into the winter and end up on the ground, dazed looking around until they starve or the cats get them.
But the sparrows come back and keep cranking them out. That's what they're there for, to be fruitful and multiply. It occurred to me that sparrows have more sense than I that way.
I have a favorite t-shirt that has a cool sloth that says "Sloth is my spirit animal". I like wearing it to work, but I'm afraid that I move much too quickly for it to be a legitimate expression of my level of motivation.
Let's learn true facts about sloths.
I love William’s slow and steady ( but witty) commenting.
My spirit animal is a cat, of course. My pussy hat makes me hiss and snarl.
Just kidding, I’m not a cat fan, I prefer small dogs. My Teddy was a Peek a Pom, a little devil who I couldn’t bring myself to neuter.
You want a sloths video?
SLOTHS!
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/sloths/n12118
(Someone please teach me how to hyperlink.)
Thanks for the informative you tube videos. What a magnificent animal!.......Yesterday was my most sloth like day ever. I brushed my teeth. I can't think of any other productive or useful activity I engaged in. There used to be a time when boredom or ennui would drive you to do something, but now ennui is like a warm, relaxing bath. Yesterday, between naps, I watched the first four seasons of Arrested Development. That counts as less than doing nothing. All this inertia gives one a fine understanding of the dynamics of the universe and life becomes tranquil and serene. I'm too tired right now to flesh out the details, but, believe me, staying in bed is a life changing and life enhancing experience.
"Someone please teach me how to hyperlink"
Cut and paste that phrase in your search bar and hit enter.
The three toed sloth is not the slowest mammal on earth, I have a neighbor who walks a basset hound every morning. That critter the dog, not the man) is the slowest mammal on earth.
My animal of envy, if not spirit animal, is a Pug/Chihuahua mix. Mostly I envy the constant love, affection and attention given her by my wife.
Note on spirit animals:
Everyone that talks about their past lives says they were a king or queen somewhere really (thought to be) cool.
Facts are most of our past lives, if any, were peasants broken at an early age by work.
Similarly folk talk about their spirit animals generally in terms of lion, eagles or wolves. Feh. I know a guy who claims his spirit animal is an eagle who rarely leaves his recliner chair.
Cut and paste that phrase in your search bar and hit enter.
Thanks. Now I know how to add a link to my YouTube video description.
Make mine a horseshoe crab every time. Wierds everyone out, every time.
Sedona is a very spiritual community. Before we moved I observed my neighbor’s bumper sticker that read: “My spiritual animal is a gummy bear.”
For me, that said it all, other than having my aura photographed in a vortex, that is.
Squirrels don't have the brainpower to think of committing suicide.
I dunno. Around here a remarkable number of them are adept at diving under car wheels. Perhaps that doesn't require brainpower? Then again, I remember a story a few years ago of a gang of squirrel that attacked a dog en masse and killed it. Maybe attacking a dog when one is a squirrel doesn't indicate a lot of brainpower either.
I'd prefer to come back as a human. Why? Top of the food chain. I mean sure every now and then a bear or tiger eats a human, but as a general rule we win out (referring to modern times of course).
Other advantages: heating in winter, air conditioning in summer, medical care, etc.
Of course all of that assumes modern times in a 1st World country. Failing that: lions, tigers, and bears (near the top of the food chain).
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