Althouse: "Once, in Hong Kong, I smiled so much that the woman I was talking to recoiled and stepped away."

April 22, 2018

"Once, in Hong Kong, I smiled so much that the woman I was talking to recoiled and stepped away."

"My European and Latin American friends agree that Americans smile far more than people do in their home countries."

From "An American Woman Quits Smiling" by the novelist Lisa Ko (NYT).

If someone recoiled from me and stepped away — especially in a foreign country — I would not presume to know why. But Ko is a novelist, and it's the novelist's superpower to feel she knows what is in the mind of others.

39 comments:

rhhardin said...: Let a simile be your umbrella, and a metaphor your towel.; 4/22/18, 12:55 PM
I Have Misplaced My Pants said...: I'm always hearing women complain about being ordered to smile, and yet I've never had that happen to me or witnessed it happening. Curious, that.; 4/22/18, 1:00 PM
zipity said...: Turns out, she just had a massive piece of spinach stuck in her teeth....; 4/22/18, 1:02 PM
tcrosse said...: Yet Chinese have a way of laughing when nothing's funny.; 4/22/18, 1:03 PM
Etienne said...: "Americans" are happy like all mongrels. Especially the shemale mulatto's...; 4/22/18, 1:06 PM
Fernandinande said...: Which Country's Residents Smile Most in Their LinkedIn Photos
1 - US
2 - Australia
3 - Israel
4 - NZ
5 - Canada

Except for Israel, they be speaking da English.

++

This was funny:
"A study conducted in 2015 that surveyed 32 different countries found some reasons as to why people in America are so quick to smile. It essentially comes down to diversity.

In countries that contain a wide range of ethnicities and cultures, they had to learn to use non-verbal cues to communicate with each other since there was a significant language barrier."

In addition to more smiling there should also be more frowning and punching.; 4/22/18, 1:09 PM
ALP said...: "An American Woman Overestimates The Impact Of Her Personal Decision On Everybody Else" is a better title. I will never understand the motivations of writers like this, making long articles out of trivial events they just gotta get OUT THERE into the world.; 4/22/18, 1:23 PM
mockturtle said...: Maybe her mouthwash is ineffective.; 4/22/18, 1:35 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: I would not think of Hong Kong as a non-smiling place.; 4/22/18, 1:47 PM
mockturtle said...: ALP at 1:32: I could not agree more.; 4/22/18, 1:53 PM
Bilwick said...: Fortunately I'm from New York City, so I never have to worry about smiling too much at strangers. Although I'm now living in a Southern city (whose vaunted friendliness I've found is mostly superficial and pro forma), friends tell me I still walk around with an intense look that's often interpreted as meaning "stay away from me" or "f**k off, jerkface." And often that interpretation is not incorrect.; 4/22/18, 2:04 PM
MayBee said...: I smiled all the time when I lived in Hong Kong. It's true that they are not habitual smilers there. But they seemed completely happy with the idea of Americans being smilers. With Lisa Ko, I suspect she ran into trouble because the Chinese in Hong Kong are not in love with Chinese-looking people who don't speak or act Chinese. The woman who recoiled probably recoiled when she realized she wasn't speaking to a Hong Kong person. (didn't follow the link, because NYT); 4/22/18, 2:19 PM
Hagar said...: Maybe not what Lisa Ko is talking about, but American women almost always make with an apologetic smile when speaking to strangers, even when it is the stranger that should be apologizing. After 60 odd years in this country, it still amazes me.; 4/22/18, 2:30 PM
Char Char Binks, Esq. said...: Americans smile too much. A genuine smile is a beautiful thing, but Americans put on fake smiles when they don't really mean it. People who smile on the outside but not on the inside are trying to manipulate someone.

Witness the smiles plastered on professional dancers, figure skaters, beauty pageant contestants, waiters, etc. It often looks like a painful grimace more than an expression of joy.

I've read about this, without looking for it, from Mexicans, Irish, various Europeans, etc. to know that, aside from the professionals mentioned above, it's an American peculiarity, and not an attractive one.; 4/22/18, 3:13 PM
Two-eyed Jack said...: When you call me that, smile!
-- Owen Wister
The Virginian (1902)

Evidently, the most American quote ever.; 4/22/18, 3:46 PM
Phil 314 said...: “I didn’t smile when I passed strangers in the office hallway”

I do if I catch their eye. I notice some people look down to avoid ackowledgment and smile.

Americans smile “too much”?

Good!; 4/22/18, 4:00 PM
Mountain Maven said...: NYTbashing Americansfor smiling.; 4/22/18, 4:09 PM
BarrySanders20 said...: People in societies that value good dental hygiene tend to smile more.

People in societies where dental hygiene is a . . . . foreign concept, and whose teeth are all fucked up, tend to smile less.; 4/22/18, 4:15 PM
rcocean said...: East Asians aren't into smiling in public. It creates an unfriendly atmosphere when you're in Tokyo or Taiwan. But its just "their way". It means nothing, just like Americans smiling usually means nothing.; 4/22/18, 4:18 PM
rcocean said...: Looks like the patriarchy orders women to smile in the USA - but not in China.

When are the patriarchs going to get their act together and be consistent?; 4/22/18, 4:21 PM
Kevin said...: If the news isn't dour enough, the NYT will simply point out that smiling offends people from other countries.

That should wipe the smiles off the faces of half the country alone.

And make the deplorables and Trump supporters that much easier to spot.; 4/22/18, 4:55 PM
Kevin said...: Maybe she's just well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand like a lizard on a window pane.; 4/22/18, 4:58 PM
Ann Althouse said...: In the 2016 campaign, Hillary Clinton smiled too much. She had this crazy wide-open mouth grin that seemed like it was supposed to radiate childlike delight. There was too much of that. Trump presented his absurd grumpy face a lot of the time.; 4/22/18, 4:58 PM
tcrosse said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 4/22/18, 5:01 PM
tcrosse said...: Sometimes a smile is just a shit-eating grin.; 4/22/18, 5:03 PM
Gregg said...: Smiling faces, they lie----Temptations

"A smile is just a frown turned upside"

A smile is a weapon, especially ones with sharp canines, ready to cut you.; 4/22/18, 5:04 PM
Gregg said...: "frown turned upside down"; 4/22/18, 5:05 PM
LordSomber said...: Admittedly, the US does suffer from an epidemic of nu-male/soy smiles, but these "smiles" are just faux astonishment.; 4/22/18, 5:24 PM
MayBee said...: In the 2016 campaign, Hillary Clinton smiled too much. She had this crazy wide-open mouth grin that seemed like it was supposed to radiate childlike delight.

That's true, but I just assumed they had given her a slightly smaller dose of whatever they had given Jennifer Granholm.; 4/22/18, 5:45 PM
Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...: "In the 2016 campaign, Hillary Clinton...."

Often betokens recent or one too many facelift.; 4/22/18, 5:57 PM
ceowens said...: Before answering the phone a smile, even if forced, makes you (me anyway) sound a little more pleasant, that is, if you are so inclined.; 4/22/18, 5:58 PM
JPS said...: "Russians smile only when amused, never to be pleasant. It makes them seem distant and surly. I guess we strike them as grinning monkeys."

Victor Henry, in The Winds of War, by Herman Wouk. (My Russian friends laughed, then thought about it and said, "He's kind of right.")

"'Remember to smile'" [said the terrorist leader, to his men about to infiltrate an American installation]. "A smile was an American's passport, the visible proof that his heart was pure and his intentions honorable. Since World War II the Americans had grinned at almost everyone on earth. Now even nomads in the Gobi desert were smiling."

Stephen Coonts, Final Flight; 4/22/18, 6:10 PM
rcocean said...: "In the 2016 campaign, Hillary Clinton smiled too much"

Yeah, she did everything too much. The more we saw her, the less we liked her.
Her smartest move was to never do press conferences. Had she stopped campaigning and said she had laryngitis in September 2016, she probably would've won.

People like that usually don't run for President, but we're talking 21st Century Democrats. Hopefully, they'll nominate another unlikable Bitch in 2020.; 4/22/18, 6:15 PM
Be said...: Finding the Balance between 'resting bitch face' and 'Too Happy!' has been an interesting process for most of my life. Generally, haven't sweated things too much.

Oddly enough: Catcalling never bothered me much, either. I remember women getting upset about that when I was a young thing in the City. For me, it was all about learning my voice and how to respond. Actually got to be fun.; 4/22/18, 7:22 PM
Paddy O said...: I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite.; 4/22/18, 7:55 PM
mishu said...: If I could irritate one German by smiling, that would make my day. But where I am now, I don't run into many Germans.; 4/22/18, 9:46 PM
Ken B said...: “Yes, I do believe in live-birth abortions, and selling the parts too” I said with a broad grin as she recoiled. Americans smile too much.; 4/22/18, 10:21 PM
Anonymous said...: Smile too much while talking to someone is creepy and snakey.

Normal people smile a greeting, but not when talking to someone; 4/22/18, 10:45 PM
Kevin said...: “In the 2016 campaign, Hillary Clinton smiled too much. She had this crazy wide-open mouth grin that seemed like it was supposed to radiate childlike delight. There was too much of that. Trump presented his absurd grumpy face a lot of the time.”

Hillary was campaigning for the status quo while Trump was the change candidate.

Bernie was the unsmiling change candidate on the left.

Trump will still be Trumpy in 2020 but will likely smile more. I expect his challenger to be dour while she tells us how bad things have been.

Ironically the Dem candidate in 2020 will be running to “ Make America Great Again”.; 4/23/18, 6:23 AM