Althouse: "I just think men like long hair... no matter how terrible it looks."

March 7, 2018

"I just think men like long hair... no matter how terrible it looks."

Overheard in the hair salon today.

I'll take a poll:

89 comments:

rhhardin said...: Very short hair is nice. Emphasizes the women's neck difference from men's.; 3/7/18, 1:46 PM
rhhardin said...: Long hair means your gf spends a lot of time on hair instead of doing something interesting.; 3/7/18, 1:47 PM
Nonapod said...: I like short hair on women, but I have no idea if I'm unusual in that regard.; 3/7/18, 1:48 PM
rhhardin said...: Really long fingernails are nice, for the Ming Emperor of the Universe look.; 3/7/18, 1:49 PM
rhhardin said...: Ming didn't do long toenails for some reason.; 3/7/18, 1:50 PM
WK said...: Depends on where it is.; 3/7/18, 1:53 PM
rhhardin said...: Long hair gives women a Señor Wences thumb character look.; 3/7/18, 1:53 PM
John Christopher said...: If a woman cares what men think about hair length, than I'll go ahead and mention than women tend to make the "I'm getting older I better cut my hair" switch sooner than most men would prefer.; 3/7/18, 1:59 PM
Carol said...: What John says. I tried to make the switch at 68 and DH just said he couldn't get used to it. But maybe that's just routine spousal negging.; 3/7/18, 2:01 PM
Leland said...: I prefer short hair. Long hair only looks good if neat.; 3/7/18, 2:02 PM
Gahrie said...: I think a more interesting question is chokers/cameos.

I know I like them, I'm sure it has to due with slavery/subordination...but why do/did women wear them?; 3/7/18, 2:02 PM
Ann Althouse said...: When I was growing up it was an almost absolute rule that only very young women could wear long hair. Once you reached maybe 25, you had to cut it or you'd look unprofessional and by the time you were 35 or so if you still left it long (unless you wore it up) you would look like a hag. Everyone knew that. It was received wisdom.

I got my hair cut into a shag when I was in college and actually thought I guess that's the end of long hair for me. In the end, I wore my hair long until I was in my 50s.; 3/7/18, 2:03 PM
Ann Althouse said...: The thing about long hair as you get older has to do with how the face looks with the hair. It's weird, the psychological effect of long hair and old face -- an awful lot of people perceive: witch.; 3/7/18, 2:05 PM
richlb said...: Different women look attractive with different lengths of hair. My wife on two occasions has done the "I'm tired of how long my hair takes, I'm cutting it short". Once it was not unattractive, but didn't really look right. She grew it out. The second time, she included some sort of angled cut at the back that looked terrible. I tell her all the time it's her hair and she can do what she wants. But I find HER more attractive with longer hair.; 3/7/18, 2:05 PM
Ann Althouse said...: By the way, long hair on an older man is also a problem. I think the perception is: unattractive female. Especially if the body isn't trim.; 3/7/18, 2:06 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "routine spousal negging"

That shouldn't be a thing!; 3/7/18, 2:07 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "I'm tired of how long my hair takes, I'm cutting it short"

I don't relate to that complaint. I always found long hair easier. With long hair, you can always put it in a ponytail or braid. You don't have to wash it as often. Just brush it.; 3/7/18, 2:11 PM
Kyzer SoSay said...: I like female hair to be shoulder-length or longer. Women have every right to style their hair however they want, but I only find short hair attractive on girls who have otherwise attractive features (nice figure, beautiful face). In my opinion, long hair can be the difference between "meh" and "hell yes".

My wife looks good with short hair. But I still ask her to keep it long, and she complies. When we met, she wore it to the bottom of her earlobes. Now, it's to the space right between her shoulder blades - upper-mid-back.; 3/7/18, 2:17 PM
AlbertAnonymous said...: Where's Laslo and the "pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish" girl?

Didn't you just recently do a post about an Audi. Pretty sure pony-tail swish girl wanted an Audi....; 3/7/18, 2:18 PM
Professional lady said...: I know a woman who has got to be just a few years away from 70. She has thick beautiful long platinum blond hair that looks like her natural color (maybe it is). She wears it pulled back into a long thick pony tail. She looks beautiful - but she's always been a beautiful woman. She's the exception though. That style on most middle aged or older women would make them look older. Also, there's nothing worse than looking like you're trying too hard to look young.

Generally, long hair on older men is a turn-off. If there's an exception, I haven't noticed it.; 3/7/18, 2:22 PM
Etienne said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/7/18, 2:23 PM
Ignorance is Bliss said...: Ann Althouse said (regarding routine spousal negging )...

That shouldn't be a thing!

Absolutely agree. All negging should be carefully crafted and highly personalized. There should be nothing routine about it. Your spouse deserves nothing but the best.; 3/7/18, 2:26 PM
Triangle Man said...: This is a real "there's no accounting for tastes" situation. There are men with very strong preferences for / attractions to all sorts of hair styles on women.; 3/7/18, 2:27 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: I think I have met exactly one man who preferred very short, as in what would usually be around the length of a man's haircut, on women.; 3/7/18, 2:28 PM
Sebastian said...: "I just think men like long hair... no matter how terrible it looks."

Sorry, babe: it is not true that they like it "no matter how terrible it looks."; 3/7/18, 2:29 PM
FIDO said...: Well, Demi Moore really rocked long hair into her mid 40's, so that 'witch' thing is superstitious echoes of a bygone age, sort of like the hate on shorts and sandals on men.

At a certain age, long hair DOES look bad on a woman. But it is like short hair on a little hot 20 something Demi Moore: She looks good (or bad) period and you shouldn't blame it on the hair. It's in the age.

Still hate the mom hair. The entire 'I don't give a fuck' vibe says "I don't want to be pretty". And then these dyky haired women write articles about how there aren't any men out there.

The men are mostly looking for girls who DO give a fuck, metaphorically speaking.

I know a few girls who really rocked short hair.; 3/7/18, 2:31 PM
Jupiter said...: "I just think men like long hair ... no matter how terrible it looks."

It took me a minute to realize that meant long hair *on women*. I had beautiful blond hair halfway down my back when I was in my teens and twenties, and I would grow it out again if I thought it would look like that. It wouldn't.; 3/7/18, 2:33 PM
Etienne said...: Annie Lennox hair length is attractive. Very punk.

Plus, you can always wear a wig or hair extensions.; 3/7/18, 2:39 PM
dhagood said...: my wife still has long hair, somewhat per my request, in her middle sixties. she likes, i like it, and we don't care what anybody else thinks.; 3/7/18, 2:39 PM
Howard said...: Wow, Jupiter. Based on the totality of your posts, I would have figured you for a high and tight kinda guy.; 3/7/18, 2:40 PM
FIDO said...: Etienne loves to be an outlier like some people thrive on outrage and seek it constantly.; 3/7/18, 2:45 PM
FIDO said...: I dunno. That whole 'lady hair code' is a bit puzzling to me.

That 'short hair or put up hair' for married chicks seems like hajib with hairpins and a pill box hat.

Any woman who wore her clothes a little too tight, let her hair down, dare to be attractive 'outside female demanded norms' got shunned.

It is almost like the married women, on getting 'tenure', no longer gave a damn at how attractive they were to their mates...or cared only to a very measured and rigorously (female) socially proscribed degree.; 3/7/18, 2:48 PM
Paul Ciotti said...: Here in Los Angeles, more women need to wear short hair so they can take shorter showers and we can solve our drought problems. If we quit taking showers altogether we could just open the borders and let the city get as big as the rest of the world wants it to be.; 3/7/18, 2:49 PM
FIDO said...: https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=older+women+with+long+hair&FORM=HDRSC2; 3/7/18, 2:50 PM
reader said...: My husband likes long hair. I had naturally curly hair growing up and never learned how to style my hair. As I got older I lost my curl, didn’t like dealing with it and cut it short. Short short. Even though I knew he didn’t like it. It’s my hair.

A few months ago my husband didn’t shave for a few days and then decided to grow a beard. Without thinking about it I told him no. He shaved it off.

A few days after that I was making an appointment to get my hair cut and finally paid attention to that dichotomy. I’ve been growing it out ever since. I now have that bob that every women my age seems to have (it has just hit my chin).

When my husband realized I was growing it out, and I explained why, he said I didn’t need to do that. But fair is fair.; 3/7/18, 3:02 PM
holdfast said...: Short hair only really looks good on women with very fine features. Like, a pixyish look.; 3/7/18, 3:10 PM
Otto said...: My wife had a prince arthur hairstyle in the 60s. Gorgeous, simple elegant and sexy. Best ever IMHO.; 3/7/18, 3:11 PM
mockturtle said...: A lot of men [for reasons known only to them] seem to find Jamie Lee Curtis sexy and her hair is super short. Is it her big mouth?

In our 40-year marriage I got my hair cut short twice and my husband disliked it both times. And, in truth, so did I. Contrary to what rhhardin says, short hair involves a LOT more upkeep than longer hair. While I would not, at my age [somewhere between Althouse and Hillary, I believe] wear it cascading down my back, I like it just skimming the shoulders and no, I do not look like a witch. :-); 3/7/18, 3:13 PM
Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...: Presuming the speaker intends to say "I just think men like long hair [on women]..."

I shave and cut my hair every month or so with a 1/16 inch spacer on the clippers.

Natural appearance not requiring large amount of time for maintenance conveys seriousness and self confidence. Applies to both sexes.; 3/7/18, 3:14 PM
mockturtle said...: Otto reports: My wife had a prince arthur hairstyle in the 60s.

If your hair is dark and straight, that is a smashing do.; 3/7/18, 3:15 PM
FIDO said...: My husband likes long hair. I had naturally curly hair growing up and never learned how to style my hair. As I got older I lost my curl, didn’t like dealing with it and cut it short. Short short. Even though I knew he didn’t like it. It’s my hair.

A few months ago my husband didn’t shave for a few days and then decided to grow a beard. Without thinking about it I told him no.

Funny! And very reflective. Bravo.

My wife decided to get some bangs.

Purely coincidently, I decided to get a crew cut shortly after that.

We both decided to let our hair grow to attractive lengths for the other.

It seemed the only loving thing to do.

But thank you for the beard idea in case she ever wants to go to a bob. It seems even better than my 'shaved head' idea.; 3/7/18, 3:15 PM
FIDO said...: Do you mean a Prince Valiant haircut?; 3/7/18, 3:16 PM
mockturtle said...: Hey, FIDO, I just noticed that. I'm sure that's what he meant. It's what I meant.; 3/7/18, 3:18 PM
FIDO said...: Okay. Sort of like what Amelie had in that film.

She seemed to rock it. I have seen a lot of pageboy bobs which...did not rock it nearly as much.; 3/7/18, 3:20 PM
Ann Althouse said...: “Well, Demi Moore really rocked long hair into her mid 40's, so that 'witch' thing is superstitious echoes of a bygone age, sort of like the hate on shorts and sandals on men. ”

She also had the best short hair, in “Ghost.”; 3/7/18, 3:23 PM
FIDO said...: A lot of men [for reasons known only to them] seem to find Jamie Lee Curtis sexy and her hair is super short. Is it her big mouth?

I think it has more to do with her proclivity of taking roles as strippers, whores, women with a lot of cleavage, and women in tight clothes.

When playing such roles, and dressing that way, the hair is more of an afterthought.; 3/7/18, 3:27 PM
MarkCh said...: You didn't leave an option that relates to the underlying assumption: that what men think is good looking is just a preference, while what women think looks good is objectively good looking. Maybe the men who like long hair don't think it looks terrible.; 3/7/18, 3:30 PM
Henry said...: Whatever is easiest is my motto. The fewer perms the better.; 3/7/18, 3:33 PM
FIDO said...: She also had the best short hair, in “Ghost."

That is why I picked her.

She looked great at 28 years old in Ghost.

And she looked great, at 43 or so with long hair.

It has less to do about the hair than it does the cheekbones, the waist, the eyes etc.

A pretty girl is a pretty girl.

But at the end of the day, I preferred her look much more in Charlie's Angels than I did in G.I. Jane or Ghost, despite the extra decade.; 3/7/18, 3:34 PM
Darrell said...: I like witches.; 3/7/18, 3:36 PM
Ann Althouse said...: “Short hair only really looks good on women with very fine features. Like, a pixyish look.”

This is true, for very short hair, but if you have a large jaw (or whatever) you might be better off with shortish but full hair framing your face than with long, hanging hair that’s flat next to your face.

I hate my hair very short, both because of my features and because it’s not at all fine textured, but when I grow it out, there’s a point that is just too long, because not enough is happening around the face.

So it’s very individual and the question is what looks best on this person.

But I understand some people find some styles a lot of work for their hair, because of the kind of hair they have.; 3/7/18, 3:42 PM
Lucien said...: Jamie Lee Curtis has always had an amazing body. She’s the only woman who could plausibly be Schwarzenegger’s wife in True Lies. That’s why men like her.

Check that. Terminator 2 Linda Hamilton with the ridged back muscles could also have been Schwarzenegger’s wife in True Lies, but by then she was director James Cameron’s wife and he wasn’t going for that.

I’ve never cared about the length of a woman’s hair - every length works if she’s comfortable in it,

The whole “don’t cut your hair / don’t grow a beard” thing is alien to me. You’re my wife, not my master - I’ll do whatever I please with my beard and I expect you to do the same with your hair.; 3/7/18, 3:44 PM
Ann Althouse said...: One thing about long hair is you don’t need to worry about getting a great haircut. Maybe some of the aversion to short hair is because of bad haircuts. If I weren’t happy with the haircutting that was available to me, I would probably want to grow it all out long in self-defense.; 3/7/18, 3:48 PM
Luke Lea said...: Depends on how pretty the hair is. Ann has nice hair and it looks good medium length, even when she was young and it was brown. I remember an old picture of her she published when she was a graduate student— a real serious graduate student. Meade should have known her then!; 3/7/18, 3:58 PM
Otto said...: Thanks fellas, yes it was a prince valiant hairstyle .Senior moment! And as MT says it has to be dark and straight. Indeed it was. Quite a gal.; 3/7/18, 3:59 PM
Luke Lea said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/7/18, 4:01 PM
Luke Lea said...: Blogger Luke Lea said...
Blogger Ann Althouse said...
"By the way, long hair on an older man is also a problem. I think the perception is: unattractive female. Especially if the body isn't trim."

How about Steven Pinker? At this point in his career it is hard to imagine him any other way. Besides it magnifies a certain elfin quality about him that is disarming, which is helpful when walking in politically incorrect minefields.; 3/7/18, 4:06 PM
FIDO said...: So I did some, ahem, research.

Jamie Lee Curtis has an incredibly long face. I saw a few pictures of her with longer hair (during her Scream Queen era) and it just makes her face look almost comically long and thin.

I don't particularly like her short hair, but compared to what it looks like with long hair, she is probably making the correct choice.; 3/7/18, 4:11 PM
Michael K said...: "It took me a minute to realize that meant long hair *on women*.'

Me, too. I know that the only reason why men had long hair in the 60s was to get laid.

That was explained to me by a guy who had had longhair for just that reason and h assured me it worked.

I like medium long hair on women. My daughter showed up with very short hair one day about six months ago and I commented that I thought her cancer was in remission.

That got me into all kinds of trouble but she has grown it out since.; 3/7/18, 4:16 PM
exhelodrvr1 said...: Yes. Longer hair is better no longer how crappy it looks. ANd bigger breasts are always better, no matter how spectacular the smaller ones.; 3/7/18, 4:17 PM
Rick.T. said...: I have a preference for shorter - not short - hair on women with Emmylou Harris the exception that proves the rule.

http://www.emmylouharris.com/photos.html; 3/7/18, 4:20 PM
James K said...: News flash: Men like women to look feminine. That doesn't necessarily require long hair, but for me, really short hair is a turnoff. Of course that's often a sign the woman plays for the other team.

Most women like men to look masculine, but that seems less universal.; 3/7/18, 4:23 PM
Known Unknown said...: Crystal Gale or GTFO; 3/7/18, 4:35 PM
Darrell said...: ANd bigger breasts are always better, no matter how spectacular the smaller ones.

Gibberish. Small breasts rock. Always have.; 3/7/18, 4:37 PM
reader said...: For my husband and I, it isn't so much a matter of being a master of the other but of trying to please the other. In this instance it wasn't my first instinct. To be fair - my issue with beards hasn't got anything to do with appearance. It is much more tactile in nature. But is that true for some men as well? They don't just like the look of long hair but the way it feels.; 3/7/18, 5:07 PM
JackWayne said...: “By the way, long hair on an older man is also a problem. I think the perception is: unattractive female. Especially if the body isn't trim.” First Althouse came for my shorts. And I said nothing. Now she’s come for my hair. And I say Back Off!; 3/7/18, 5:09 PM
mockturtle said...: Darrell asserts: Gibberish. Small breasts rock. Always have.

But they probably don't rock as heavily.; 3/7/18, 5:15 PM
MadisonMan said...: On themselves? Or on others?

I say it depends. On the head, it's okay. On the back, or armpits, not quite so nice.; 3/7/18, 5:16 PM
Ann Althouse said...: Some older men can look good with long hair, but not if they have got a part bald Larry Fine situation and they need to look at themselves critically and ask: Do I kind of look like a really unattractive woman?

And get a good enough haircut!

Don’t think you can hide behind your hair if you’re a man. Only women can attempt to do that and it’s probably a bad idea. It’s better to be out and proud, even if you’re ugly.; 3/7/18, 5:39 PM
Molly said...: In my generation (in my sixties) when a woman decided she had all the children she wanted to have, she changed to hair style to quite short ("practical") hair. Of course, these women had at least one young child, and that was usually the excuse for the short hair style. But subconsciously, the women wanted to be free of (or freer of) sexual demands from their husbands, and becoming less attractive (think about the word - whom were they trying to "attract"??) was part of achieving that objective.; 3/7/18, 5:50 PM
Sam L. said...: Terrible short hair is OK? Not for me. Short hair is pretty much OK by me.; 3/7/18, 6:09 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: My husband likes long hair, so I have long hair. He's the one looking at it, not me. His hair is the way I like it too. If one of us felt strongly about how we wanted our own hair, the calculations might be different.; 3/7/18, 6:09 PM
Jaq said...: If she cuts her hair short enough that it would look normal on a working man in the fifties, I figure she’s done with men. Joey Heatherton looks being the rare exception.; 3/7/18, 6:31 PM
Jaq said...: Do I kind of look like a really unattractive woman?

Howard Stern, are you listening? You are no Jeff Bridges, who just looks more macho with a girl’s haircut.

And yeah, I had to dial back the hair length when in my late fifties, I started to thin at the back, not that it was really long, but it was long enough that it accentuated the bald spot. Which reminds me, I had better get a haircut, since I can’t actually see the bald spot.; 3/7/18, 6:38 PM
Jaq said...: Don’t think you can hide behind your hair if you’re a man.

I wear my hair the way it looks like what I feel like it is what I am. I have no intention of fooling anybody. Plenty of fish, and all of that. But for some reason the faint bald spot reminds me of Mr Roper. Probably because I had a landlord in college with a similar bald spot and shoulder length hair. Ben Franklin did fine with the ladies though.; 3/7/18, 6:43 PM
Jaq said...: Yes. Longer hair is better no longer how crappy it looks. ANd bigger breasts are always better, no matter how spectacular the smaller ones.

Your singular opinion is duly noted and filed where it belongs.; 3/7/18, 6:44 PM
Jaq said...: Really long fingernails are nice, for the Ming Emperor of the Universe look.

Or Barbara Streisand in The Prince of Tides.; 3/7/18, 6:49 PM
Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/7/18, 7:13 PM
Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/7/18, 7:16 PM
tim maguire said...: Well groomed hair looks nice. Poorly groomed hair does not. Men and women, long and short, young and old.; 3/7/18, 7:53 PM
YoungHegelian said...: Ya notice you don't see a lot of short hair on porn stars & hookers?; 3/7/18, 7:54 PM
bozonomous said...: you mean on women?, as opposed to on oneself

If that's the question

I like all sorts; 3/7/18, 8:33 PM
Shane said...: As one who graduated Catholic (where shall never touch shirt collar) school in 1982, and entered college three months later with the best 1973 Paul McCartney/Laura Petrie wave I could muster, only to see the generational MPB begin falling out three days later, although I have shaved my remaining crown of hair these past 20 years there is not a week/month/year that goes by where I think: Robert Plant, that is some impressive mane.; 3/7/18, 8:48 PM
Jaq said...: Beauty is a hard game to win for long.

The more I like a girl, the prettier she gets. I doubt I am unique.; 3/7/18, 8:48 PM
Jeff said...: In porn both the men and women are usually shaved.

Oh, wait. You're talking about hair on the head.

Never mind.; 3/7/18, 9:48 PM
becauseIdbefired said...: Too many beers tonight, but I'll take the chance. How would you like to die?

"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock", her long hair flowing around my legs.; 3/7/18, 11:40 PM
Cassandra said...: The more I like a girl, the prettier she gets. I doubt I am unique.

Decades ago, my brother in law described a woman he just started dating to me thusly:

"She's not as pretty as [first wife], but she seems more and more beautiful to me every day." There was a hint of wonder in his voice. I knew he'd marry her, right then.

For most of us, there's a vast difference between abstract preferences (what man wouldn't prefer long hair, a lush figure, youth, etc....so long as we're only talking about looks) and the bundle of qualities we select for in real life.

After 3 months' growth, my own hair looks like a very short man's haircut (Navy, not Marine). It's not because I suddenly started batting for the other team after decades of marriage, or because I don't want to have sex with my husband. #1 DIL has cancer. The day after her beautiful hair started falling out, we had a head shaving party. Her very pretty younger sister shaved her head too. That was hard for her. Easier for me. And I loved my husband so much for shaving his own head down to the skin. Seeing the grownups do it too helped my grandsons not feel so scared for their mother. It's just hair. It grows back.

I'm a little surprised at the psychoanalysis surrounding people's hairstyles. Mens' and womens' hair often thins as we age. Men with thinning hair look better with it short. So do women (IMO). I know many women my age who have long hair and it looks horrible - the length calls attention to the thinning.

The single funniest reaction I've gotten has been from older men my age. They tend to react one of two ways: stare openly and look vaguely offended ("She's obviously a lesbian") or react with old fashioned courtliness. You've got to love a man with such generosity of spirit. Or at least I do - I was lucky enough to marry one!; 3/8/18, 8:04 AM
Mike (MJB Wolf) said...: I think it is more accurate to say that men are repelled by short hair with few exceptions. Fuller is better. Longer is nice. But the shorter it gets the less attractive one becomes, generally.; 3/8/18, 10:13 AM
Kelly said...: This made me remember a time when I was about 15 years old at the beauty shop getting a perm. I noticed a girl with her back to me that had thick, gloriously beautiful, long blond hair spilling down her back. This was in the early 80’s when woman rarely had long hair so I noticed her right away. I watched in puzzlement as the stylist ratted, sprayed and teased this glorious mane of hair into a mile high tower of stiff dead cells. When the stylist was done she spun her around to reveal the old lady that owned the local restaurant. I had no idea her hair was so beautiful. What a shame she had to wear it in such a rats nest.; 3/8/18, 10:32 PM