July 10, 2017

"There’s really no negative publicity, so I felt we’re good to go."

Said the founder of the company that makes Coco Loko — snortable powdered cocoa infused with ginkgo biloba, taurine, and guarana — which Chuck Schumer just went on a rampage against.

You can buy Coko Loko at Amazon. It's only $24.99 for 1.25 ounces, where the comments are already infused with Schumerosity.

What Schumer said is: "I can’t think of a single parent who thinks it is a good idea for their children to be snorting over-the-counter stimulants up their noses. This suspect product has no clear health value." He wants the FDA to get involved because it's marketed as a drug. But it's just cocoa powder with caffeine (guarana), amino acid (taurine), and the extract of ginkgo leaves that has never been shown to do anything.

But I guess it's the fact that they're telling you to take it in through the nose that stimulates the anti-drug sensibilities. If finely ground coffee were sold as snortable, I guess it would be the same problem. It brings out the prudes, anything that suggests that a drug-related mentality will accompany the use of the product. It's really a desire to regulate thoughts. Don't even think of getting high.

This relates to the way marijuana is wedging its way to legality. The medical/"medical" use was forefronted to numb the prudes' censoriousness. God FDA forbid anyone should actually have fun.

By the way, you can still buy candy cigarettes. How we enjoyed all the nicotine we only imagined... back in the old days, before the Baby Boomers matured beyond the 1960s "If it feels good, do it" to the sick fun of restricting the pleasure of others.

Do people even remember the 60s slogan "If it feels good, do it"? It's talked about in this 1996 NYT review of the book "The Pleasure Police/How Bluenose Busybodies and Lily-Livered Alarmists Are Taking All the Fun Out of Life."
"If it feels good, do it!" was the moral imperative at Woodstock, but since the advent of Jimmy Carter, the nation has been swept by a counterrevolution. Now the rule is: "If it feels good, it must be risky and bad, immoral and dangerous to your health."...

A new complicity has grown up between the religious Ayatollahs on the right and the sanctimonious alarmists on the left, united in their common determination to make everything we touch or ingest illegal, immoral or fattening. In chapters devoted to eating and drinking, smoking and making love, Mr. Shaw documents the excessive prudery and exaggerated warnings that have come to surround our every indulgence. In American culture, all universal sources of pleasure are eventually medicalized, then politicized and finally policed (if not prohibited): witness alcohol, tobacco, cannabis, fat, pornography, masturbation, perfume. Mr. Shaw aptly quotes H. L. Mencken's eternal definition of puritanism as "the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy." All our most intimate spheres of solace and release are exposed to the prurient curiosity of those who cannot themselves enjoy, because of the envy they feel. We Americans, with our Puritan ancestors, are different from, say, the French, who are too busy passionately pursuing their own pleasure to worry much about other people's....
Speaking of puritanism and the special problem of snorting, I'm thinking of this Prince lyric, from "Pop Life":
What you putting in your nose?
Is that where all your money goes (is that where your money goes)
The river of addiction flows
You think it's hot, but there won't be no water
When the fire blows
I don't know where Prince is now, but he's starting at long last to put his videos on YouTube. I wish "Pop Life" were one of the first few to go up but it's not. This might do in a pinch.

Hey, that reminds me: Can you still get Pop Rocks candy? Yes! But — stand down, Schumer — the FDA did get involved:
Rumors persisted that eating Pop Rocks and drinking soda would cause a person's stomach to boil and explode.... One of these myths involved a character named Mikey from the Life cereal commercials.... The Food and Drug Administration set up a hotline [in Seattle] to assure anxious parents that the fizzing candy would not cause their children to choke.... On the very first episode of MythBusters, Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman put the Mikey rumor to the test...
By the way, Mikey (John Gilchrist) is still alive as is the myth that he died from Pop Rocks:
In Shrek The Musical (2008–2010), one of the main characters, Donkey, sings a song "Don't Let Me Go". In the song, he is begging Shrek not to leave him and starts naming things that go together. He sings, "like Cupid and Psyche, like Pop Rocks and Mikey!"

95 comments:

Clayton Hennesey said...

Any day now someone will make one of those evil leprechaun/gnome movies with a prosthetic likeness of Chuck Schumer. Every time he peers down his nose over those readers I expect to hear him sneer "And your little dog, too!"

Chuck said...

Those prudes are going to crack down on oxycodone and other recreational opioids next.

n.n said...

This is why it's imperative to repeal the Obamacare status quo and restore capital markets to control progressive costs. Your brain on coffee grounds won't help education reform either, hence the need for diverse refugee crises. Meanwhile, Planned Parenthood and abortion industry corporate stocks break the glass ceiling as girls and boys just want to have fun.

rhhardin said...

You can still buy almost all legacy candies. Somebody will have bought a license to make them, but just lack distribution to keep them in front of your eyes.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

How on earth do we function without some nanny pol all up in our bizniss?

MisterBuddwing said...

I don't know where Prince is now, but he's starting at long last to put his videos on YouTube.

If you find out where, please let me know.

Nonapod said...

There's scarcely a mole hill that Chuck Schumer won't attempt to renovate into a giant mountain.

MayBee said...

The best thing on earth is Schumer railing against detergent pods.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/schumer-even-i-wanted-to-eat-the-detergent-pods-that-look-like-candy
“I don’t know why they make them look so delicious,”

He has a weird relationship with consumer products.

Todd said...

It brings out the prudes, anything that suggests that a drug-related mentality will accompany the use of the product.

Nannies got to nanny.

Same with the e-cigs. Anyone that cares one little bit about smoking and health would be standing on street corners handing out e-cigs. Instead they work to get them regulated as strongly as actual cigs are.

Same with environmental Nazis. If they really cared about the environment they would be pushing nuclear power instead of sun and wind. Instead they want everyone cowering the cold and dark because energy is too expensive to use.

Lawrence Person said...

I don't know where Prince is now, but he's starting at long last to put his videos on YouTube.

I think instead of "he's" you mean "his estate is". Unless you're suggesting that Prince is posting videos from The Great Beyond.

Todd said...

You can still buy almost all legacy candies. Somebody will have bought a license to make them, but just lack distribution to keep them in front of your eyes.

Cracker Barrel is your huckleberry...

Chuck said...

MayBee said...
The best thing on earth is Schumer railing against detergent pods.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/schumer-even-i-wanted-to-eat-the-detergent-pods-that-look-like-candy
“I don’t know why they make them look so delicious,”

He has a weird relationship with consumer products.

You'd be right to think that. Thing is, the "relationship" in question is his relationship with the trial lawyers' lobby. He's picked up where Harry Reid left off. Dick Durbin is the capo di capo of the gang.

mockturtle said...

Is snuff still used? Is that Copenhagen stuff snuff? Maybe if one uses it from a delicately inlaid ivory box instead of a can?

Big Mike said...

If it feels good, do it!" was the moral imperative at Woodstock, but since the advent of Jimmy Carter, the nation has been swept by a counterrevolution. Now the rule is: "If it feels good, it must be risky and bad, immoral and dangerous to your health."...

-- Prof. Ann Althouse

All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

-- Alexander Woollcott

Anyway, we need Congressional hearings to determine whether chocolate snorting is what's behind all the home runs being hit in 2017 MLB. Just as Chuckie Schumer and the rest of the Dumbocrats want so they can prove their relevance.

Mountain Maven said...

Schumer, desperately trying to get in front of a TV camera. Only Manhattanites notice.

Ann Althouse said...

"I think instead of "he's" you mean "his estate is". Unless you're suggesting that Prince is posting videos from The Great Beyond."

References:

1. The quoted lyric

2. The first post of today.

traditionalguy said...

You know you have to try it. But hurry before THE Cocola Company stops this nonsense.

Sebastian said...

Progressivism is the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy in a way unapproved by the state.

Still, this Schumerism is confusing. So (apologies) we now must support smoking and eating pot but not snorting a harmless mixture?

Next, they'll outlaw drinks you can sniff.

Gahrie said...

Is snuff still used?

Yes, though it is pretty rare. My brother used to snort it. He once almost got arrested for doing it at a college football game.

Is that Copenhagen stuff snuff?

I think technically it is called that. Most users call it dip however. I used to dip.

Snuff: very finely ground, snorted up the nose.
Dip: finely ground, usually deposited between the lip and gum.
Chew: shredded, usually kept in the cheek

I remember once the whole family was watching a movie...Mom and Dad were both smoking...I had a dip in and thom was snorting. Thankfully now all of us have quit.

Ann Althouse said...

@Big Mike

The quote isn't mine. I just quoted it. I know it's an old quote and I think the book reviewer did too and meant to allude to it.

Gahrie said...

You know you have to try it. But hurry before THE Cocola Company stops this nonsense.

There's a science fiction story out there where caffeine is illegal and cocaine is legal. Going to McDonald's was a slightly different experience.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John said...

What will these Krazy kids think up next? Smokable banana peels?

John Henry

Dave from Minnesota said...

In my view, “If it feels good, do it” is not the opposite of “banning everything fun”.

Last year over a 2 month period, 6 babies were born in Black River Falls Wisconsin addicted to Heroin….all to members of the Ho Chunk Nation. I don’t consider those ladies choosing to use heroin to be the same as me wanting to shoot off fireworks or play with lawn darts. Or maybe buy candy cigs.

Bob Boyd said...

“Political tags — such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth — are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbors than the other sort.” – Robert Heinlein

David Begley said...

Schumer has no power and therefore he resorts to this in order to get attention. Why doesn't he go to Chicago and complain about the shootings?

Rick said...

"I can’t think of a single parent who thinks it is a good idea for their children to be snorting over-the-counter stimulants up their noses. This suspect product has no clear health value."

I can't believe people advance this as their justification for banning something. This is a completely authoritatian mindset (it's value must be proven to me or banning is appropriate).

If it's not safe get a researcher or doctor on camera to explain why. The fact that you think it's not appropriate doesn't mean squat. Why do people agree to be led by such two-bit hustlers enamored with their own power?

Michael K said...

I have to agree with chuck here. This is probably related to some trial lawyer plan to sue if they can find a half way decent example of harm.

Michael K said...

"Why doesn't he go to Chicago and complain about the shootings?"

Who ya gonna sue about the shootings?

No money to get. Everybody shooting and getting shot is broke. Who cares ? Not Schumer.

It's all about the Benjamins.

Bob Boyd said...

"What will these Krazy kids think up next? Smokable banana peels?"

I'm concerned somebody will invent a non-slip banana peel, then the fun police will require them.

Mary Beth said...

Everybody knows what they'd like to do
Whatever it is, do it, as long as it pleases you
Just take some time and relax your mind
Then do it, do it, do it 'till you're satisfied

Mary Beth said...

Oreo has a flavor called "Fireworks" that has Pop Rocks mixed into the filling. I haven't tried them.

grackle said...

A new complicity has grown up between the religious Ayatollahs on the right and the sanctimonious alarmists on the left, united in their common determination to make everything we touch or ingest illegal, immoral or fattening.

Actually, there seems to me to be a natural alignment of the radical Left with the real “Ayatollahs.”

Sharia looks to me to be similar to the society envisioned by the Left: personal freedoms restricted or outlawed, such as speech(heresy against the Quran, political correctness), an arrogant and vengeful attitude toward “others”(apostates, deplorables), a tendency to define every issue in a certain way(Islamic doctrine, identity politics), no hesitation to use violence as a tactic(Islamic terrorists, Antifa), etc.

I’m sure others could name other correlations. How many ways are the radical Islamists like the radical Left?

Achilles said...

We need to find out if these drugs are really dangerous. In order to do that we need to ascertain the LD50 of each product.

I propose that we strap politicians who vote to ban these drugs and bureaucrats who make jobs for themselves to a table and administer these drugs until we know what the LD50 is.

Chuck said...

Michael K said...
"Why doesn't he go to Chicago and complain about the shootings?"

Who ya gonna sue about the shootings?

No money to get. Everybody shooting and getting shot is broke. Who cares ? Not Schumer.

It's all about the Benjamins.


I have to agree with Michael K here. And there's more. Remember from a week ago, the left-wing freakout over federal ATF teams going to Chicago? As if Trump were sending in the 82nd Airborne division to take over the city under martial law.*

And what happened to that kerfuffle? They are actually helping, causing no loss of control, and are being welcomed by the adults who have actual responsibility for law and order in Chicago.

*It was Democrat Lyndon Baines Johnson, who sent the 82nd Airborne Division into Detroit, 50 years ago this month.

RNB said...

"There's a science fiction story out there where caffeine is illegal and cocaine is legal. Going to McDonald's was a slightly different experience."

'King of All,' by Harry Turtledove

mockturtle said...

I have to agree with Michael K here. And there's more. Remember from a week ago, the left-wing freakout over federal ATF teams going to Chicago? As if Trump were sending in the 82nd Airborne division to take over the city under martial law.*

And what happened to that kerfuffle? They are actually helping, causing no loss of control, and are being welcomed by the adults who have actual responsibility for law and order in Chicago.


I didn't know about that, Chuck. Thank you. The honest citizens of Chicago don't have a chance, much like Mexicans living in villages taken over by the drug cartels. Unfortunately, when said Mexicans tried to take matters into their own hands, the government stopped them, saying it was their job. But they don't do it. Sounds like complicity.

Night Owl said...

"Do people even remember the 60s slogan "If it feels good, do it"?"

The Disco generation coopted it:

"Don't hold back; If it feels good, do it."

tcrosse said...

My Grandma once gave me a lecture on what a filthy habit smoking was. I told my Dad, and he laughed because when he was a kid the old lady used to dip snuff.

Chuck said...

mockturtle:

Here is the left-wing Salon.com, weighing in on what the author claimed was "questionable constitutionality" in Trump's decision:
http://www.salon.com/2017/06/30/president-trump-declares-chicagos-violent-crime-an-epidemic-i-am-sending-in-federal-help/

But -- and you will love this -- within a week, the Chicago P.D. and Mayor Emanuel Administration officials were agreeing with the plan, and so Chicago's Dem-machine politicians all started claiming that it was actually an idea that the Obama Administration hatched back in November, 2016(!):
https://www.thetrace.org/2017/04/atf-chicago-presence-trump-send-in-the-feds/

madAsHell said...

Here was a guy full of life, but pissed away millions on drugs and whores.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Michael K said...

Whatever your feelings about Richard J Daley, he kept the city relatively safe.

Harold Washington was a joke. The story around was that he had a cardiac arrest in front of a bunch of people but no one was willing to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation.

The Daley son was not what his father was but he kept the lid on better than the fool Emmanuel.

I still have relatives in Chicago and would like to see them all get out but they have family ties and soon no one will be able to sell a house.

Michael K said...

Here was a guy full of life, but pissed away millions on drugs and whores.

George Raft's famous line, "I spent a lot of my money on women, horses and booze. The rest I wasted."

Night Owl said...

Mary Beth;

Great song. 70s kids embraced the 60s concept of "if it feels good, do it!" And as Althouse points out, the boomers grew up, became parents/grandparents and turned Millennials into humor-deprived little fascists. The slacker generation is looking around wondering, "WTF happened!"

Quaestor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Quaestor said...

I have an acquaintance — a friend of a friend to be precise whom I normally see only twice a year, at our long-standing harvest moon fest and at my friend's birthday gathering. For convenience, I shall call this acquaintance Todd. Quite recently I met Todd unexpectedly at my local Scheetz. I had gone to that store at about 2 am to fuel up for an early morning business meeting. Todd was there and unexpected because he lives 30 miles away and works even further away.

Todd was visiting my local Sheetz store to buy Monster Energy, two cases of the vile stuff. It seems that his regular supplier was sold out and he had been on a mission to replenish his depleted personal stock for several hours that night, working his way from 24-hour store to 24-hour store until he found himself in my neighborhood. I thought that was obsessive, but I held my peace. These so-called energy drinks are among the most addictive products sold — on the same level as nicotine to be blunt about it — yet they are sold to children as well as adults. A few weeks later Todd as admitted to an emergency clinic with chest pains and extreme anxiety, which later was shown to be from a serious cardiac arrhythmia. Todd had heart surgery shortly thereafter. True story.

Last I heard Todd is back home and recovered, but struggling to kick the habit.

(edited for clarity)

Todd said...

That is not me, by the way...

Ignorance is Bliss said...

I don't know if snorting the stuff does you any good or harm.

But what's not to like about chocolate flavored boogers?

bagoh20 said...

"the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."

I have come to believe that this really is the basic motivation behind the prudish protectors that rule us in some way every moment of the day. Nothing else can explain the wide, unrestricted, breadth of their concerns. They clearly want to love and care for us until we are profoundly miserable like them. It's a form of neurosis in my opinion. We need to lock them up for their own good.

The role of the government in such things should be information and transparency, so that people can make their own decisions for better or worse. Tell me honestly what the risks and benefits are and let me do it if I want. If I was warned with honest information, I have nobody to blame if it goes bad.

Remember, tomatoes were once considered poisonous. What a mistake that lie was. Imagine no tomatoes, but hey nobody would die from tomato poisoning. "If it saves one life..."

Pianoman said...

The Prohibitionists are still among us.

I doubt that Schumer would take the same position on teens having sex. Funny how *this* just makes his head explode.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ignorance is Bliss said...

bagoh20 said...

Tell me honestly what the risks and benefits are and let me do it if I want.

And let you live with the negative consequences. ( I understand you agree with that. Too many liberals think society has the responsibility to step in and pay for your medical bills ( with other people's money ), care for your widow, etc. )

Etienne said...

People all over America want the government to underwrite free health care for drug addiction.

I believe this is not fair to non-addicts. Why should they pay?

The same thing with the state marriage laws. Why should single people underwrite the costs of all the courts, judges, and homeless kids, when they sell the licenses for $5.

bagoh20 said...

I was mildly addicted to energy drinks last year. Drank about 4-6 a day, plus a couple cups of coffee each morning. Couldn't walk past one without buying it. I started having endless headaches, and even had a head scan to check for the ever threatening cancer tumor.
I've already had two removed elsewhere, so it's a real possibility. They found nothing, and had no suggestions. Just to be sure I gave up the energy drinks and was cured within a coupe days. I still have one as an occasional pick-me-up. They do work, but the headaches are gone. It was the only thing I changed. Science!

StephenFearby said...

AA wrote:

"... the extract of ginkgo leaves that has never been shown to do anything." (Linking to a Wipedia article on Ginkgo Biloba with a few references purporting to debunk its medicianal value.)

(1) It's probably not wise to snort any substance that may or may not have injested value.

(2) Commercial ginkgo extracts purport to adhere to a standard...but there are wide variations as to the efficacy of competing brands. One company that actually spends a lot of money on studies is Schawbe, the German manufacturer of EGb-761. As of today, 1555 citations in the National Library of Medicine's PubMed abstract site.

The latest:

Acta Ortop Bras. 2017 May-Jun;25(3):95-98.
Ginkgo Biloba improves bone formation during fracture healing: an experimental study in rats.

(3) I would take anything that comes out of Chuck Schumer's two-faced mouth with a grain of sea salt.

exiledonmainstreet said...

Dave from Minnesota said...
In my view, “If it feels good, do it” is not the opposite of “banning everything fun”.

That point is a very good one. You don't want a society of feckless druggies, but you also don't want the nanny state scolds trying to ensure that no kid ever has to suffer a skinned knee on the playground.


Rabel said...

"These so-called energy drinks are among the most addictive products sold — on the same level as nicotine to be blunt about it — yet they are sold to children as well as adults."

Wait till Quaestor finds out about coffee.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sample Commenter said...

Nicotine is a fast acting anti anxiety drug. Half of the problem with millennials is that they don't smoke, I say half seriously

n.n said...

From one extreme to another, it seems we are destined to go around and around. That old fashioned self-moderating, responsible behavior looks good, again.

Francisco D said...

Re: Chuck Shumer

I have no doubt there is a trial lawyer association. Democrats (and some Republicans like Trent Lott) are beholding to money from trial lawyers. However, I recall an old joke that bears on the situation.

Q: What is the most dangerous place to be in Washington D.C.?

A: Between Chuck Shumer and a TV camera.

Bay Area Guy said...

Chuck Schumer is the Leftwing Dean Wormer of Animal House.

He is against fun.

Fabi said...

I've snorted some really good drugs in my life but never thought of snorting chocolate. Be right back.

Big Mike said...

@Althouse, please don't take what I wrote in a negative way. Merely pointing out that the problem is of long standing.

I have a vague recollection of a novelty song on "Hee Haw" where the singer complains that "Everything I like is immoral (dancer swirls past dressed sort of sleazy 'n easy) or illegal (youngish-looking dancer with pigtails) or too expensive (dancer dressed expensively) or fattening (plump dancer holding a plate of sweets)." Seemed funny at the time. Won't have time to look for it on YouTube until I get back home.

Todd said...

B.A.G, you take back that slander RIGHT NOW! Schumer is not against fun. He is against anyone (but himself) having any of the "wrong" kind of fun and he is also against the "right" kind of fun unless it can be taxed.

Fabi said...

I've concluded my beta testing and determined that snorting chocolate is way overrated. Plus I have a peanut M&M stuck up my left nostril.

Meade said...

"(3) I would take anything that comes out of Chuck Schumer's two-faced mouth with a grain of sea salt. "

You would take it but would you snort it?

Todd said...

Fabi said...

I've concluded my beta testing and determined that snorting chocolate is way overrated.

7/10/17, 1:29 PM


Don't be too hasty there. Do you know what the cacao (cocoa) percentage of your samples was? Might make a difference...

Rae said...

Snorting pop rocks clears your sinuses. And massive stroke and hallucinations.

Meade said...

And what if it came out of Chuck Schumer's two-faced nose before going into and then coming out of his mouth? Personally, I would need more than just one grain of organic artisanal sea salt.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

It's music, sex, and cookies, cookies, music, and sex
You can give 'em to me all, or one at a time
I don't care which one I get next time
I've tried therapy and LSD and I've been lost but now I'm found
And it's music, sex, and cookies, it makes my world go 'round

fivewheels said...

Mockturtle and Gahrie: Snuff is still around in the pipe community, among the non-hipster old-timers. Once you get the hang of it, it can be quite pleasant, and the rituals and little fiddly snuffboxes and such are kind of catnip for hobbyists.

I currently have open tins of Gawith & Hoggarth peppermint and McChrystals' hops-scented snuff. You get a quick burn, a lingering scent, and a little hit of nicotine in a safe manner. Of course the FDA has been cracking down on the practice, because enjoyment must be curtailed and centuries-old businesses must be harmed, in order to demonize tobacco and demonstrate superior virtue.

Ann Althouse said...

"@Althouse, please don't take what I wrote in a negative way. Merely pointing out that the problem is of long standing."

Okay. Just didn't want credit/responsibility for a quote I didn't write.

Fabi said...

Hey Todd -- I probably should have chopped up the M&Ms first! ;-)

William Chadwick said...

Of course, there's a drug far more widespread and deadly than Coco Loko. It's called statism, and from what I understand, Mr. Schumer snorts big helpings of it into his already-overloaded brain on a reghular basis.

Meade said...

"It brings out the prudes, anything that suggests that a drug-related mentality will accompany the use of the product. It's really a desire to regulate thoughts. Don't even think of getting high."

Liberal Democrat prudes really are special. Here's a photo of bumper sticker that nicely *celebrates* the special prudery of our own beloved Madtown.

fivewheels said...

Also, I'm not really the type for a fancy ivory or silver or mahogany snuffbox, so I use an acrylic snuff bullet. It loads a small portion into the tip, and you can either sniff it straight from the nose or invert it onto the back of your hand, usually in the little pocket between your thumb and index finger, and inhale there. A very neat and handy specialized device.



chickelit said...

Theobromine (food of the gods) is the active ingredient in chocolate. Why don't people just snort that?

The Vault Dweller said...

Hmm... I wonder if Cocoa Via will sue Cocoa Loko for trademark dilution?

chickelit said...

The Germans --who discovered many of the active ingredients under discussion here, have a remarkably tolerant name for them all: Genußmittel or "means of enjoyment". We just call them "stimulants."

Pianoman said...

Schumer said: "This suspect product has no clear health value."

Neither do a lot of things:

* Beer
* Vodka
* Cigarettes
* Cigars
* Monster Energy Drinks
* Cookies
* Cheeseburgers
* Ice Cream
* Cheesecake
* Pie
* Candy Bars

And on and on. Since when did "This suspect product has no clear health value" become the determining factor as to whether or not something was sold in this country?

F*cking control freak.

Rabel said...

Marcel Desaulniers is still ganaching along at 72. So I guess Death by Chocolate is possible but just takes a long time.

gadfly said...

Althouse said ...

By the way, you can still buy candy cigarettes.

But children most likely found the candy difficult to snort and even the FDA has not been able to even theoretically associate candy cigs to to cancer deaths. The same is also true of e-cigarettes but the reality of lost cigarette taxes is making taxation of vapes a hot topic.

Bay Area Guy said...

This morning I snorted some Cocoa Puffs for breakfast.

tcrosse said...

Schumer said: "This suspect product has no clear health value."

Neither do a lot of things:


* Amy Schumer

Darrell said...

Gives new meaning to the term "brown noser."

Francisco D said...

Pianoman,

I assume that you left out single malt scots whiskey for a good reason.

I would have.

Night Owl said...

@Ignorance is Bliss 1:48 pm, that song led me to this moldie oldie:

You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr Natural
On down to the health food store
I only eat good sea salt
White sugar don't touch my lips
And my friends is always begging me
To take them on macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are

Oh, but at night I stake out my strong box
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth

Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie'
Oh lord have pity on me

etc...

Ah the 70s... decadence and overindulgence combined with granola and earth shoes.

The ugly shoes should've been a warning to all that the boomer hippies were losing their minds.

(I owned a pair of earth shoes. But I was too young to be a hippie. I was simply a victim of mass-marketing.)

Gospace said...

Pianoman said...
Schumer said: "This suspect product has no clear health value."

Neither do a lot of things:

* Beer
* Vodka
* Cigarettes
* Cigars
* Monster Energy Drinks
* Cookies
* Cheeseburgers
* Ice Cream
* Cheesecake
* Pie
* Candy Bars


I beg to disagree.

* Beer
* Vodka
* Monster Energy Drinks
* Cookies
* Cheeseburgers
* Ice Cream
* Cheesecake
* Pie
* Candy Bars
All of these have caloric value, which by itself is a health value if you're starving. And cookies, ice cream, pie, and candy bars all improve my mood, and a good mood relaxes you and lowers your blood pressure, which is of value to my health. I don't like cheesecake, but YMMV.

And from webmd, about beer:

Benefits, in Moderation

If you drink it in moderation, beer (just like wine, spirits, or other alcohol) can have health benefits.

"The strongest evidence suggests alcohol of any kind can increase good cholesterol," says Harvard researcher Eric Rimm.

Roy Lofquist said...

Down here in the land of palm trees and early bird specials the most popular drug is ginko viagra - helps you remember what the fuck you were doing.

wwww said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Big Mike said...

Couldn't find the sketch after searching YouTube for a while. However I've learned that the original list has been expanded:

"Everything I like is illegal or immoral or too expensive or fattening or impossible, or won't text me back."

Pianoman said...

Gospace says: "a good mood relaxes you and lowers your blood pressure, which is of value to my health."

Could you let Nanny Schumer know that snorting chocolate can lower blood pressure?

Pianoman said...

Roy Lofquist's 7:04 PM is the thread winner.