June 21, 2017

Ken in shorts.


"Today Barbie® announced the expansion of its Fashionistas® line with 15 new and diverse Ken® dolls, featuring three body types – slim, broad and original – and a variety of skin tones, eye colors, hairstyles and modern fashion looks...."

Actually, I have the original Ken doll and the only clothes he ever had were, essentially, shorts — that is, his little red swim trunks. And I don't really care if the child's toy Ken wears shorts. My men-in-shorts problem is not a Ken-in-shorts problem because it is about adult men looking like children. But girls are playing with Ken, so let him be a boy.

(And yeah, I know: man bun. Did you see the man bun cover on the new New Yorker?)

62 comments:

Ipso Fatso said...

Ken in shorts with a Man Bun going to vote for Ossoff.

Quaestor said...

The thing below the manbun is not a man.

Big Mike said...

Nothing I'd let a daughter or granddaughter play with. (Fortunately I had sons and no grandchildren yet.)

Rene Saunce said...

No romper? Manbun needs a romper.

Rae said...

Just as with piercings or fat rolls, man buns are just one more thing to grab onto in a bar fight. Shave and grease yourself before going out.

glenn said...

That's it. Eddie Murphy was right. Kens a Mo.

Fen said...

Isn't a man bun appropriation?

Time to dust off my fake SJW account and stir up a nest of harridans.

Bob Boyd said...

Ken's Mom's Basement Set sold separately.

Douglas said...

Men who wear man buns and aren't carrying swords look ridiculous.

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

Manbun is so 2015.

David Begley said...

Why not tats on Ken? Complete the desecration.

Virgil Hilts said...

So Ken now comes in about 5 different gender types, but still no bald Ken. Hardly inclusive.

YoungHegelian said...

Man, that version of Ken looks like he'd have the hots for GI Joe & not Barbie.

NTTAWWT.

gnome said...

Those aren't shorts - it's just that Ken's legs are twice as long as a real person's.

Jim Daniels said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bill, Republic of Texas said...

Isn't a man bun appropriation?

We saw a white guy about 35yo working at Trader Joe's. He had dreds all the way to his ass.

When we walked by I said to my wife "look at those dreds. I can't believe he appropriated black culture like that. Good thing Trader Joe's doesn't hire blacks."

Wife was not amused.

I told her I can't wait until he has to cut that hair he has been nurturing for 20+ years to stay virtue signalling. It's be a good lesson for him. Maybe he'll get a real job and make something of his life.

rcocean said...

Come on. Ken has always been a wimpy little Fem - so why get upset that he wears a "Bun"?

"GI Joe" wouldn't give "Ken" the time of day.

gspencer said...

As Ranier Wolfcastle as McBain said, pointing an accusatory finger, "Maybe you all are homosexual too."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyBBkcdmaoE

rcocean said...

As an old guy, the "look" of some young guys takes me aback.

The tattoos - when did that become normal?

The hoodie. Yeah, I get it, you're a 20-year old Ghetto bad-ass trapped in a middle-class white body.

The backwards baseball cap - wow, still doing that in 2017?

But then my Dad never got used to long hair on a boy.





rcocean said...

The phrase "Girle-man" was born due to "Ken".

ddh said...

The top knot worn by men is cultural appropriation of the Sikh practice of the hooray. Mattel and hipsters should stop immediately.

Gretchen said...

Ugh manbun and jorts.

End. Of. Civilization.

Seeing Red said...

He looks Asian. Isn't that cultural appropriation?

Virtually Unknown said...

That front one is what I always imagined PB&J looked like. Not kidding.

D said...

Congratulations. You got me to click through to a media release from a toy company about 15 new Ken dolls. I think thats about the last thing on most bucket lists.
(I was curious to see if any of the new Kens had an orange comb-over and wore a red cap.)

LilyBart said...

rcocean said...
Come on. Ken has always been a wimpy little Fem


So True. My Barbies always dated my brother's G.I. Joes.

Remember is Nissan commercial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwMG7ifuTjQ

traditionalguy said...

Toy Land Express. Complete with plastic action figures. It does bring back memories pre puberty. And then along came women with breasts.

But unless they come free in boxes of cereal, then forget the whole thing. And most women can't be romanced by free cereal.

Laslo Spatula said...

You want intense Doll Action?

Laslo Films Presents "What Lola Left Behind!"

The first forty-five seconds will Change Your World.

I am Laslo.

sodal ye said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ann Althouse said...

We watched the Trump rally here at Meadhouse.

Humperdink said...

When does the trans-Ken doll come out? And how will he/she be equipped?

Ralph L said...

You had a Trump rally at your house?

but still no bald Ken.
Or endomorphic Ken: Kendomorph

The backwards baseball cap - wow, still doing that in 2017
Makes it easier to give blow jobs.
You forgot about saggy pants, which originated with belt removal in jails (IIRC). At least the dress-like white (prison) Tee is now passe.

David said...

That's not a man bun. It's a boy bun.

William said...

Imagine the existential dilemma of a Ken Doll designer. He probably went to Parsons and had grand ambitions. Now he designs and outfits Ken dolls. His life is lonely and full of self loathing. When he put the man bun on the Ken doll, he wanted to say fuck you, but he wasn't sure whether the fuck you was directed at the world or at himself.

Fen said...

Is there a male Ken doll?

I bet all the HeMan critters grief him.

Fen said...

That was brilliant, William.

Fen said...

True. My best friend and I would steal his older sisters Barbies and our Joes would rescue them from Black Bart. It was sci-fi meets cowboy western, decades before Firefly came out.

exiledonmainstreet said...

Quaestor said...
The thing below the manbun is not a man.

6/21/17, 6:52 PM

It's true. Ken has no dick.

But neither does GI Joe.

tcrosse said...

It's true. Ken has no dick.

How much trouble would it be to give him one ? It could be a removeable accessory.

Quaestor said...

But neither does GI Joe.

The current G.I. Joe doesn't even have the compensation of phallic symbols.

Quaestor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Quaestor said...

Ken was always metro, even from the beginning. Barbie didn't put out and that was just fine with Ken. He admired her fabulous (i.e. garish) taste in clothes and her pink Corvette. Sexually Ken preferred Brad.

Ralph L said...

The first forty-five seconds will Change Your World.
I am Laslo.
The rest of it will send you to the shower. Liked the way the dildo gently swayed on the table.

eddie willers said...

It's true. Ken has no dick.

But neither does GI Joe.


Yes, but Joe had his cutoff by the Japs. Payback, baby!

EDH said...

A doll that practically screams "show us how he touched you."

AlanKH said...

Boy Band Ken.

Clyde said...

The absolutely perfect video response from Katy Perry:

Katy Perry - Ur So Gay (Official)

You're welcome!

Curious George said...

If they bring out a Muhammad doll Ken will be flying off the top floor of Barbie Tower.

Quaestor said...

Curious George for the win!

traditionalguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
traditionalguy said...

Iowa still loves That Orange haired Russian Spy Clown. They must not get CNN and MSNBC Investigation reports out in Iowa, it being so far out in the countryside that the cornstalks block reception.

This AM, CNN's panel spent ten minutes discussing how Evil Trump's speech bragged about hating poor people and that he only appoints Very Rich people to his Cabinet. But they all looked like they are still suffering dissociative personality disorder from playing idiot character roles.

He broke them.

ddh said...

Damn autocorrect--it's a joora, not a hooray, and social justice warrior Ken shouldn't wear it to the vegan protest at the butcher counter at Whole Foods.

MaxedOutMama said...

I never liked Barbies, but for some reason I cannot grasp, Ken always gave me the willies. These specimens are certainly not changing my life-long distaste.


MaxedOutMama said...

Ipso - I was ashamed of myself, and of course it is not my voting district, but my gut-level reaction to Ossoff when he first hit the news was "Pajama Boy? They got PAJAMA BOY to run Dem in GA?"

Jamie said...

Aaaaaauuughhhhh!!!!

Bay Area Guy said...

Short-haired, tattooed, dykey Barbie to follow Man-Bun Ken next.

Could some smart guy or gal on the left explain to me the cultural push to have women look and act more like men, and men look and act more like women? Why is this important to anyone?

tcrosse said...

How about a trans-Potatohead, with interchangeable sexual characteristics ?

Unknown said...

I have young girls, so alas I have lots of the Barbie animated movies. Most of them don't have Ken. But some do.

In those movies, Ken is always portrayed 2 ways: as a weak, pajama boy type who it looks like can be blown over by a breath. But oddly enough, Ken also saddles up and strikes out to rescue Barbie from whatever peril she's in; and even though he's absolutely beaten to a pulp for comic relief, he never gives up and always comes back swinging. He's actually not a pansy, which surprised me. He acts like one, but isn't one.

--Vance

HoodlumDoodlum said...

One has to assume that a real person similarly coiffed has no male genitals, so I think the Ken doll is an accurate portrayal.

Bad Lieutenant said...

MaxedOutMama said...
Ipso - I was ashamed of myself, and of course it is not my voting district, but my gut-level reaction to Ossoff when he first hit the news was "Pajama Boy? They got PAJAMA BOY to run Dem in GA?"


Wait, Ossoff wasn't Pajama Boy?

RLB_IV said...

Ken doesn't have a dick because he's trans.

Rob McLean said...

Ken in shorts with a Man Bun

"It’s obscene...It’s outrageous, OK?"