Althouse: I watched these, and so can you.

May 7, 2017

I watched these, and so can you.

ADDED: For balance:

85 comments:

Curious George said...: Three observations:

1) Hey, they're all white.
2) Grace Kelly. Wow.
3) Grace Kelly. WOW!; 5/7/17, 6:56 AM
exhelodrvr1 said...: What is the definition of "classic"? Looks like it ends about 1965 or so.; 5/7/17, 7:04 AM
Unknown said...: Left out of the male actors is Marcello Mastroianne.; 5/7/17, 7:06 AM
traditionalguy said...: Tippi Hedren is MIA. And everybody knows Ava Gardner is by far first.

And where is LaAlthouse?; 5/7/17, 7:16 AM
Rick.T. said...: Hedy Lamarr had beauty AND brains:

"At the beginning of World War II, Lamarr and composer George Antheil developed a radio guidance system for Allied torpedoes, which used spread spectrum and frequency hopping technology to defeat the threat of jamming by the Axis powers.[4] Although the US Navy did not adopt the technology until the 1960s, the principles of their work are now incorporated into modern Wi-Fi, CDMA, and Bluetooth technology,[5][6][7] and this work led to their induction into the National Inventors Hall of Fame in 2014."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy_Lamarr; 5/7/17, 7:16 AM
Laslo Spatula said...: Standards of Beauty change.

I am Laslo.; 5/7/17, 7:16 AM
Ann Althouse said...: The one with the men has a 1960 cut-off date. I think the women's one goes to 1965 or something.

Another way to do it would be to just restrict it to the black and white era, but some of the females are shown in color (such as Kim Novak in "Vertigo").; 5/7/17, 7:18 AM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: Paul Newman makes my heart skip a beat. Handsome.; 5/7/17, 7:19 AM
dreams said...: Marilyn Monroe? Yeah, Tippi Hedren too.; 5/7/17, 7:20 AM
Laslo Spatula said...: Most of the Women have eyes that don't hint of Sex.

There are exceptions. Grace Kelly. Ava Gardner. Sophia Loren.

It is rare today for an actress to NOT have eyes that hint of Sex. Angelina Jolie. Scarlett Johannson. Charlize Theron.

An actress today whose eyes do not hint of sex?

Reese Witherspoon.

Some of it is Lighting, yes.

I am Laslo.; 5/7/17, 7:29 AM
Unknown said...: what is excess without a Fellini film?; 5/7/17, 7:38 AM
Unknown said...: Tarkovsky named his top films and he left off Mysteries of Lisbon; 5/7/17, 7:40 AM
Amexpat said...: Male actors are never ugly, they just have more character.; 5/7/17, 7:42 AM
William said...: Just watched an old Hedy Lamarr movie a few days ago. Couldn't take my eyes off her.; 5/7/17, 7:42 AM
Amexpat said...: I saw Hedley Lamarr in Blazing Saddles. Hedley wasn't particularly pretty.; 5/7/17, 7:44 AM
tcrosse said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/7/17, 7:49 AM
tcrosse said...: Alice Faye, Alexis Smith, Susannah York. None of them chopped liver.; 5/7/17, 7:56 AM
John said...: Most of the Women have eyes that don't hint of Sex.

There are exceptions. Grace Kelly. Ava Gardner. Sophia Loren.

Ava got a round a bit. Kelly was a first class whore who screwed anything that walked. Loren ironically got married young and stayed married and seems above reproach, despite having eyes and everything else that dripped sex and sexuality.

That is a good point about the eyes. They all have these beautiful innocent eyes which don't hint of sex. This in fact makes them that much more sexy. I think Kim Novak's eyes hinted at sex. So I would add to your list.; 5/7/17, 8:13 AM
Jeff Gee said...: Nice to see Audrey Totter on the list.; 5/7/17, 8:25 AM
Lucien said...: Bardot and Cardinale, but not Deneuve??; 5/7/17, 8:25 AM
JAORE said...: Yep all white. Dictated by the cut off date no doubt. But I think Lena Horn could still find a place among 50.; 5/7/17, 8:52 AM
JAORE said...: Sigh Horne, not horn....; 5/7/17, 8:53 AM
John said...: I am with Lucien on that. Deneuve should be on the list and certainly above Bardot.; 5/7/17, 8:56 AM
JackWayne said...: John Justin but not John Wayne?; 5/7/17, 8:57 AM
Mary Beth said...: The women are all beautiful so the main difference that stood out to me was the different eyebrow styles. By the end, all I could think was "eyebrows are weird".; 5/7/17, 9:03 AM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: Facial symmetry is the key to how people perceive beauty or attractiveness. The more symmetrical the face, bone structure the person is the higher they seem to rate.....until....perfect symmetry when it becomes creepy, robotic and unreal.

Yes. Mary Beth. I agree. Eyebrows are really weird.; 5/7/17, 9:08 AM
wild chicken said...: Cary Grant, only 26?? Pah.

And where's Glenn Ford?; 5/7/17, 9:09 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "Bardot and Cardinale, but not Deneuve??"

Deneuve is after the cut-off date, I think.; 5/7/17, 9:13 AM
Ann Althouse said...: They also excluded the silent era actresses. But Rudolf Valentino is on the actors list.; 5/7/17, 9:18 AM
J2 said...: Yvonne DeCarlo.; 5/7/17, 9:30 AM
Saint Croix said...: I watched the ugly videos first! Just cranky this morning i guess.

The male uglies are all craggy and tough looking.

The female uglies are beautiful women! Uma Thurman, for fuck's sake.

I feel like it's that Twilight Zone episode on pig planet. Uma is desperate for plastic surgery so she can guest star on Girls.; 5/7/17, 9:32 AM
Wince said...: Was "resting bitch face" more associated with glamor in the past?

The ugly actress video list seemed particularly idiosyncratic to the list maker. Thurman, Hudson and Oh in particular are attractive.

YouTubers who seem to want to capture the magic of that beautiful morphing video of actress faces put to piano music from a few years back.; 5/7/17, 9:35 AM
mockturtle said...: John Garfield didn't make the cut?? Viewing the men I was struck by the probability that the list was made by a gay male. In men, beauty, to me, doesn't translate to attractiveness. Glad to see Bogey at least, albeit last.

There were too many women. The list could have been shortened by half. Some of the women shown in stills aren't done the justice that animation gives them. Garbo, Monroe and Kelly really lit up the screen. Totally agree with Lamarr as numero uno.; 5/7/17, 9:36 AM
Wince said...: Or was it put to strings? I forget.; 5/7/17, 9:37 AM
Known Unknown said...: I find the ugly people much more interesting.; 5/7/17, 9:38 AM
Anonymous said...: Very nice. But no Donna Reed, no Arletty?; 5/7/17, 9:46 AM
mockturtle said...: The male 'uglies' really are. Not so the 'ugly' women. [Uma Thurman? Beatrix Kiddo??? C'mon]. It merely displays the fact there are no female character actors nowadays. [Remember ZaSu Pitts?].; 5/7/17, 10:02 AM
William said...: An ugly list that features Uma Thurman lacks credibility. I agree that Sarah Jessica Parker is an eyesore, but in her younger days she had a body that made such judgments irrelevant. Tilde Swinton is more weird looking than ugly. I'm sure that on her home planet she's considered quite attractive.; 5/7/17, 10:05 AM
Anonymous said...: Grace Kelly; 5/7/17, 10:10 AM
David said...: The poses are interesting. A lot of pathos and sadness. Were they looking for vulnerability?

No guppy mouth poses. Hooray!

Ranked too low: Ester Williams, Loren, Stanwick. Especially Stanwick.

Missing: Claudette Colbert (Step aside Judy Garland.) Angie Dickenson (she straddled the cutoff)

Ranked too high: Really no one. How can you go wrong with that top ten?; 5/7/17, 10:11 AM
William said...: I'd put Norma Shearer on the list of uglies. She was highly regarded as an actress in her day. She was married to a major studio head so she got the plum roles. I just recently watched one of her movies, Strange Interlude. She was hammy beyond belief. Clark Gable was her costar. He was reliably Clark Gable. Star quality is more durable than hammy intonations........A lot of the actresses on the list I'm nly vaguely familiar with. I think most of them were banged by either Howard Hughes, Orson Welles, or JFK. It would be interesting to see a list of the fifty most beautiful actresses who never banged those men.; 5/7/17, 10:15 AM
FullMoon said...: Mary Beth said... [hush][hide comment]

The women are all beautiful so the main difference that stood out to me was the different eyebrow styles. By the end, all I could think was "eyebrows are weird".

I told the neighbor her eyebrows were drawn too high. She looked surprised.; 5/7/17, 10:38 AM
rcocean said...: -Everybody looks better in B&W.

-Bacall, Kate Hepburn and Judy Garland in the Top 50?

Not in mine.; 5/7/17, 10:44 AM
Charles said...: My biggest complaint pertains to the choices of photos.

Two examples:
Ingrid Bergman, why not use a photo from Casablanca - say her entrance to Rick's Cafe.

Olivia De Havilland - For god sake, use a photo from Captain Blood.

As an aside, Kim Novak does nothing for me.; 5/7/17, 10:48 AM
tcrosse said...: Then how do you rank somebody like Jean Arthur? She wasn't especially beautiful, but in her movies she was absolutely adorable.; 5/7/17, 11:03 AM
readering said...: Did I miss Lee Remick?; 5/7/17, 11:10 AM
exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...: Althouse wrote: "I think the women's one goes to 1965 or something."

Deneuve should have made it then. Her film debut was in 1957 and the movie which introduced her to international audiences was "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg," which was released in 1964.

Handsomest male movie star of all times - Paul Newman. No contest.; 5/7/17, 11:10 AM
readering said...: How can you have de
Havilland without Fontaine?
Olivia still going btw.; 5/7/17, 11:13 AM
readering said...: I'd settle for Tuesday Weld.; 5/7/17, 11:16 AM
readering said...: Irish beauty gets no better than Dorothy McGuire.; 5/7/17, 11:18 AM
readering said...: Ask Howard Hughes about Jean Peters.; 5/7/17, 11:22 AM
readering said...: Terry Moore once drove Burt Lancaster crazy. CBLS.; 5/7/17, 11:26 AM
Bill said...: Irish beauty gets no better than Dorothy McGuire.

Gene Tierney?; 5/7/17, 11:27 AM
Bill said...: Post-1965 I'd have to put Olivia Hussey at the top of the list.; 5/7/17, 11:28 AM
mockturtle said...: Terry Moore once drove Burt Lancaster crazy. CBLS.

Just watched that the other day on TCM. Nice ending, although I was hoping the dog would show up.; 5/7/17, 11:34 AM
Saint Croix said...: I'll take Uma and Katharine Ross!

You can have your 50. And the crappy music.; 5/7/17, 11:36 AM
mockturtle said...: Handsomest male movie star of all times - Paul Newman. No contest.

I'd have to agree with you, exiled. He's another one for whom still photos don't do him justice. And, IMO, he got better looking with age.; 5/7/17, 11:37 AM
readering said...: Gene Tierney and the list. But Dorothy Malone? Also still going.; 5/7/17, 11:41 AM
tcrosse said...: Did I miss Lee Remick?

I miss Lee Remick.; 5/7/17, 11:55 AM
Leslie Graves said...: Glad to see Esther Williams on the list. I would have put her higher.

In the three-photos-per-woman set, there was often one photo earlier on where my reaction was "meh" and then a photo later on where my reaction was "she is indeed radiantly beautiful". So at least for me it had a lot to do with the hair, lipstick, photo configuration and lighting.; 5/7/17, 12:01 PM
Saint Croix said...: Here's a Linda Harrison tribute. With way better music!

I wish I could find that clip of her jumping up and down like an animal. What the hell, youtube.; 5/7/17, 12:02 PM
exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...: Calling Uma Thurman and Jennifer Hudson ugly is ridiculous. Where's Rosie O'Donnell?

And Marty Feldman is missing from the men's list. Also Charles Laughton.

My guess is that the "uglies" lists were compiled by millennials who have never watched a movie made before 1995 or so.; 5/7/17, 12:04 PM
Saint Croix said...: And here's Mrs. Peel. With way better music!; 5/7/17, 12:11 PM
readering said...: Me Tarzan. You Maureen O'Sullivan.; 5/7/17, 12:11 PM
Yancey Ward said...: I would have put Grace Kelly at the top on classical traits of beautiful faces, but Lauren Bacall is basically the ideal for myself simply due to the personality that went along with her physical features.

I found the ugliest lists a bit interesting. I can't really argue with the choices for the men in the ugliest list, but all are/were character actors during their careers. All are butt ugly and easily recognizable except for Sid Haig. Haig's face was a bit familiar, but when I went down the list of his credits in IMDb, I only really remember seeing Kill Bill I, and I didn't even remember him in that though I have seen the movie more than once.

The ugliest female actors was a bit jarring, however. Neither Swinton or Thurman are classical beauties, but they aren't ugly either, and both have/had a certain physicality that a lot of men will find to be sexually arousing. Ms. Parker was exceedingly cute when she was younger, so using a recent photograph isn't terribly fair in my opinion. As for Ms. Matarrazo, yes, she is a bit homely, but probably not all that recognizable to most people- her most memorable role for me is Welcome to the Dollhouse for which her looks are almost a critical feature of the role itself. Ms. Hudson's inclusion also makes no sense to me and neither does Ms. Oh's. Of that list, I could only agree with Whoopie Goldberg's inclusion. Just all in all, a strange list.; 5/7/17, 12:14 PM
exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...: Mockturtle, I read a great story about Newman around the time he died. One day he was approached in the parking lot of an ice cream shop by a woman who told him how much she enjoyed his acting. She wanted to speak to him but also wanted to appear cool and sophisticated, not like some dippy teenybopper. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of it until he smiled and, with a twinkle in those blue, blue eyes, said, "Excuse me, m'am, but you've just put your ice cream cone in your purse."; 5/7/17, 12:16 PM
Yancey Ward said...: Curious George,

That they are all white in the female list isn't terribly surprising to me since the list seems to have had a requirement that they appeared in movies prior to around 1960 or so- there simply weren't black female stars in that period that anyone is going to remember instantly.

I didn't watch the list of leading men, but was Sidney Poiter on the list?; 5/7/17, 12:21 PM
Yancey Ward said...: Mary Beth wrote:

"The women are all beautiful so the main difference that stood out to me was the different eyebrow styles. By the end, all I could think was "eyebrows are weird"."

Yes, I found myself focusing a lot on eyebrows, too.; 5/7/17, 12:29 PM
Yancey Ward said...: Someone above mentioned Katherine Ross, but her earliest movie role was in 1965. However, I agree that she would have made the list with a different defined era.; 5/7/17, 12:39 PM
JAORE said...: "...here simply weren't black female stars in that period that anyone is going to remember instantly."

And I repeat, Lena Horne.

She was widely considered beautiful in an era when just being African American was a dis qualifier.

If she were allowed romantic roles, leading lady roles of any sort opposite white actors she would (IMO) make anyone's list.; 5/7/17, 12:45 PM
TWW said...: Thanks; 5/7/17, 12:54 PM
mockturtle said...: JAORE, both Lena Horne and Dorothy Dandridge would more than qualify.; 5/7/17, 1:00 PM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: wait - someone put Uma on an ugly list?

WFT.

Uma is hot!; 5/7/17, 1:02 PM
William said...: I went through the list of male actors. Robert Taylor was named numero uno. He was definitely good looking but can anyone name a great movie he starred in? He'll definitely go the way of Jeffrey Hunter or Nils Athin or whatever his name was.......Humphrey Bogart and Frederic March weren't particularly good looking, at least in the roles with which they scored their greatest triumphs, but they're on the list. Some actors are so good that they can convince you they're good looking.; 5/7/17, 1:03 PM
Zach said...: Uma Thurman on the ugly list? Her first big role was literally as the Goddess of Love:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfwycQ5e1iY

Even in her "ugly" picture, she looks darn good for a woman her age.

That's a failure in most of the ugly list. For the most part, they're excellent actresses who have managed to keep getting roles into middle age.

There's a difference between Steve Buscemi level ugliness and someone who has simply stuck around past the first bloom of youth.; 5/7/17, 1:03 PM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: I have a small Paul Newman postage stamp on my bulletin board. Best looking dude to ever waltz the earth.; 5/7/17, 1:07 PM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: Emma Peel - adorable. Emma Peel's daughter found here.; 5/7/17, 1:17 PM
Joe said...: musings:

1) What a difference a smile makes, especially with women.

2) Eyebrows on the women

3) Grace Kelly not number 1?

4) Ugh, Marilyn Monroe

5) Was Rasalind Russell on the list? Don't remember. (Irene Dunne?)

6) Several on both lists retained their looks as they aged, even got better, others not so much.

Afterward, a longer musing:

Still photographs lose a dimension of beauty. Off the top of my head, there are at least two current actresses whose stills are "better-than-average", but who are terrifically cute and endearing with movement, one ridiculously so. The opposite can also be true; there are a few actresses from the list whose stills are striking, but whom I find quite ugly in film/video.; 5/7/17, 1:50 PM
eddie willers said...: I told the neighbor her eyebrows were drawn too high. She looked surprised.

I bet she did. Too funny.; 5/7/17, 2:28 PM
mockturtle said...: 4) Ugh, Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn

Not even in this photo?; 5/7/17, 2:30 PM
eddie willers said...: Way too many years ago, I was flipping around the channels (all three of them) and stumbled on Spencer Tracy and Clark Gable (Boom Town) and sat down because, hey, it's Spencer Tracy and Clark Gable.

In walks Hedy Lamarr and stopped all of us.; 5/7/17, 2:31 PM
Joe said...: @mockturtle: Yes, even in that photo.; 5/7/17, 2:46 PM
WiseAssLatino said...: Dorothy Malone, with those eyes you could curl up to.; 5/7/17, 3:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Two thoughts.

1. Is it just me, or are the men's faces more variable and individualized than the women's? If so, why should that be?

2. Nobody's going to agree on the 35 men on this list. For example, I don't think Clark Gable was handsome -- he was a good-looking guy with world-record charisma. And everybody can come up with someone who they think has been unfairly omitted. It makes me think handsomeness/beauty is more subjective than objective. In fact, I suspect it's entirely subjective, although a lot of us subjectively like the same features.; 5/7/17, 5:30 PM
Graham Powell said...: Surely they could have found a spot for Gloria Graeme.; 5/7/17, 6:14 PM

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