March 12, 2017

At the Posing-Like-a-Petroglyph Café...


... you can talk about whatever you want.

Only Meade and I were at Broken Arch (in Arches National Park) just before sundown 2 days ago, so his standing under the arch wasn't intruding on anyone else's photography. I like the way his tiny figure gives the arch grand scale, and I chose the photo where he looked most like one of the pictograms and petroglyphs we'd been seeing in Utah.

We're zooming toward home today, so keep up the conversation.

And consider using the Althouse Amazon Portal.


Bob Ellison said...

Why don't mouse parents teach their babies not to poop out in the open? Not there, Junior. The humans will see it and set a trap. Poop in the corner.

David Begley said...

Official Nebraska state song as of 1967. Nebraska is 150 this year.

"Beautiful Nebraska, as you look around,
You will find a rainbow reaching to the ground;
All these wonders by the Master's hand;
Beautiful Nebraska land."

MadisonMan said...

It's a long drive. But better to slip into town before the snow, or just as it starts, than to come in after it's been snowing for a while.

Winter came back while you were away.

caplight45 said...

Godspeed, Ann and Meade.

(Godspeed:The wish that the outcome of someone's actions is positive for them, typically someone about to start a journey or a daring endeavor. In Middle English, "god speid," from the phrase "God spede you," meaning, "God prosper you.")

Laslo Spatula said...

"We're zooming toward home today, so keep up the conversation."

I keep trying, with my Fauxhaus Blog entries. My one earlier today was especially poignant and thought-provoking: But this post is not about politics: it is about Identity. And Ivanka being Hot.

Maybe I should've included a link to Ash Hollywood to really get the conversation rolling, I don't know.

I am Laslo.

Big Mike said...

Safe trip!

Fernandinande said...

David Begley said...
Nebraska is 150 this year.

That's why it's so flat.

Did you know - Many people were born in Nebraska! Including Malcolm X, Johnny Carson, Charles Starkweather and Fernandinande.

Fernandinande said...

Laslo Spatula said...

You had one post wherein you spoke of gagged women giving blowjobs - could you elaborate?

Hagar said...

The best people ever - Custer and Blaine counties.

AprilApple said...


Laslo Spatula said...

From the Fauxhaus Blog:

In an earlier Fauxhaus Blog Post I happened to mention Ash Hollywood. After doing a little more 'research', I find that there was talk of her retiring. No! No, I am not officially retired. I'm independently booked and shoot part time. Thank goodness, that was not true. That would be like Michael Jordan retiring in his prime from basketball to play baseball. Like that ever would've happened. Wait.

Anyway, my 'research' led me to this: Porn stars with and without makeup makes a slight difference (I think this is pretty safe for work: no nudity, much less blow-jobs or double-penetration.)

Now, a harsh truth: many Porn Stars WITH their make-up are not particularly attractive. If they were somewhat attractive they'd be 'Bikini Girl #3' in a Seth Rogan movie. This proves Beauty provides Opportunities: the beautiful girls can bypass porn, and maybe even make it on some lower-level cable show. The not particularly attractive girls: they pretty much only have porn to fill that hole in their psyches that wants to be seen as desirable, so here comes the Heavy Make-Up and the Anal Sex. Yes, I said "fill that hole": that is the sly nuance I like to bring to my writing.

Ash Hollywood, though: without her make-up she looks like the fresh-scrubbed personable girl-next-door who just happens to be good-looking without even trying. Like if she came to your door to borrow some sugar you'd hope the scene would play out like an old letter to Penthouse. Maybe she'd even be asking for whipped-cream, instead: that would be good.

So how did Ash, a regular good-looking girl who gets Hot with a little bit of styling -- end up in Porn? I mean, she has already checked most of the appropriate boxes: Messy blowjobs? Check. Lesbian action, with strap-ons? Check. Light Bondage? Check. Big Black Monster Cock? Check. Anal? Check.

I'm sure there are psychological issues, and Daddy Issues, probably. But most women in the Real World that have sex also have psychological issues, and Daddy Issues, And that doesn't even include the Feminists. Some women choose porn, some choose lesbianism, some choose bad boys, some choose bulimia: good luck finding the undamaged ones.

So, on to our poll:

Would you fuck Ash Hollywood if she came to your door to borrow whipped cream?

1. Hell yeah. Are you stupid?

2. Hell yeah. Are you stupid? And I'm a woman.

3. I don't know. I find the whole porn thing icky. And I am worried about possible diseases.

4. No. I would not want to participate in the woman's poor choices. Maybe we could just go for a cup of coffee and talk about self-esteem.

5, Fuck the Patriarchy!

6. I'm fine just keeping it to masturbation.

7. Hell yeah! And I got a Black Monster Cock, baby!

I am Laslo.

MathMom said...

I have a photo of my husband and son in the same place!

john said...

8. By the time I get back from Safeway with the whipping cream, she would be gone. Story of my life.

Kishan Reddy Thummala said...

That's why I think to be get rid of this
This is lucid kk
I have zapped it

MaxedOutMama said...

I recommend driving without zooming. Just putt-putt along and get home safely, if slightly over-caffeinated.

rehajm said...

Next week (or the following week if Democrats get lucky) will again demonstrate the poor outcomes generated when policy analysis using static scoring is placed in the hands of the uneducated.

Curious George said...

Up, up, and away we go!

Utah Chris said...

I-80 - lots of corn and flyover states to look at - God Bless the corn belt.

madAsHell said...

9. Let me help you pay for that new tattoo on your back!!

madAsHell said...

Sometimes, it's easier to recognize the woman's tattoos because you're not sure where her face went.

Laslo Spatula said...

madAsHell said...
"9. Let me help you pay for that new tattoo on your back!!"

I don't mind large tattoos on ugly chicks, figuring whatever makes them happy...

But on a good-looking girl with nice skin? I guess this is encompassed in my sentence:

"I'm sure there are psychological issues, and Daddy Issues, probably."

I just hope the large-tattoo-desire of hot chicks is not somehow related to extensive degrading sex: chicken and the egg, perhaps.

Although, if the tattoo is showing, it can help you narrow down your options at the bar 1:30 AM on a Tuesday night.

Daddy likes your tattoo.

Do you want to come home with Daddy?

Like that.

I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laslo Spatula said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laslo Spatula said...

From the Fauxhaus Blog:

In an earlier comment regarding Ash Holywood's new large tattoos I wrote "I'm sure there are psychological issues, and Daddy Issues, probably."

On refection, I thought that might be harsh and reactionary. So I read some articles about women's relationships with their tattoos.

“You want to get that tattooed onto your tits?” An older lady in the waiting room at the tattoo shop tried a different argument, pleading with me to “think of your wedding day.” This approach did nothing for me, since, duh, I did not care about the hetero-patriarchal institution of marriage."

So -- upon reflection -- I say: ""I'm sure there are psychological issues, and Daddy Issues, probably." And the use of "Patriarchy" definitely indicates the latter. Obviously.Daddy's Little Girl is Not a Little Girl Anymore! I Can Do What I Want With My Body! It's My Body and You Can't Stop Me, Daddy! Like that, followed by a bout of hysterical crying and a runny nose.

Go ahead, read the article: or just look at the pictures, I guess. The vast monochromatic battleship across her chest: what the fuck happened? Sometimes you see an ugly tattoo and can still kinda picture what the original intentions were, but with this one -- did someone draw pirate ships with their only crayon as a little girl? Did Daddy not get you other crayons? Or were you coloring your misery at an early age?

And even a little girl would know that, if you are to get a tattoo of a pirate ship, you get it on your booty. Booty: pirate joke. Little kids would laugh now. Except for the sullen ones: they will hole up in their room and scribble hateful things on the chalkboard in their brain.

So after my research, comprised of mostly reading this article, I have come up with the following:

My theory on excessive female tattooing: ugly chicks are trying to hide the ugly outside, pretty chicks are trying to hide the ugly inside. I just came up with that. Sometimes it works that way: you start a sentence with "My theory on..." and then you have to come up with something.

Time for a poll:

How do you feel about large tattoos on girls?

1. It is their body, Daddy. They can do what they want.

2. Baby, think of your wedding day.

3. Leave them for the ugly chicks. Pretty girls don't need that shit, just lipstick and that other chick stuff. That washes off.

4. I like them. It is an expression of creativity and I hope she will sleep with me, I'm getting desperate here.

5. I'm okay with them, but NOT on the tits, OK?

6. I am very mad at Ash Hollywood for doing this to herself. Ash: Daddy thought you were... DIFFERENT.

I am Laslo.

The Cracker Emcee said...

I have a photo of myself and my two sons under that arch. It's like the freakin' Liberty Bell or something.

FullMoon said...

As expected. You get some loudmouth bragging in a bar how he would do this or that. Then, undercover man makes friends with him and leads him on. Loudmouth doesn't want to look like a pussy after all his big talk, so goes along with his new friend, undercover man's conversation. Eventually, undercover says he has materials to do the deed. Bragger agrees, gets busted, goes to jail. Would never have done anything at all if left to his own devices.

Announcements of foiled terrorist plots make for lurid reading.

Schemes to carry out a Presidents Day jihadist attack on a train station in Kansas City. Bomb a Sept. 11 memorial event. Blow up a 1,000-pound bomb at Fort Riley. Detonate a weapon of mass destruction at a Wichita airport — the failed plans all show imagination.

But how much of it was real?

Often not much, according to a review of several recent terrorism cases investigated by the FBI in Kansas and Missouri. The most sensational plots invoking the name of the Islamic State or al-Qaida here were largely the invention of FBI agents carrying out elaborate sting operations on individuals identified through social media as being potentially dangerous.

In fact, in terrorism investigations in Wichita, at Fort Riley and last week in Kansas City, the alleged terrorists reportedly were unknowingly following the directions of undercover FBI agents who supplied fake bombs and came up with key elements of the plans.
Kansas City terror attack suspect ordered held without bond

“What I get concerned about is where the plot is being hatched by the FBI,” said Michael German, a fellow at the Brennan Center for Justice and former FBI agent. “There has been a clear effort to manufacture plots.”

Read more here:

BJM said...

Petroglyph? I'm still waiting for a photo of Meade in a leopard-skin pill-box hat.

buwaya said...

Its a very crude sailing ship tattoo.
Very disappointing, very sad.

I was expecting an actual battleship, such as, for instance, the prow of the HMS Edward VII rendered with technical precision, every gun, stay, rivet and davit, but no. That would at least have had the benefit of novelty.

You are right, this is a dreadful practice, and she really is taking herself a level or two down in the husband-hunting pools. It does seem like a precluding move, a surrender in the struggle to mate and reproduce.

David said...

The opening in the rock looks like Australia.

Or a legless buffalo.

The Cracker Emcee said...

Mom was right. If someone can develop and franchise a chain of storefront tattoo removal clinics, they are going to make a freakin' fortune everyday for next 30-40 years. 95% of tattoos are ugly as shit, and they just get uglier as they and their bearers age. Go to Wal-Mart on a hot summer first-of-the-EBT if you doubt it. Which raises another interesting question often raised by my fellow townspeople. Where were all these shitheel troglodytes before the Wal-Mart opened? They must have been trapping rodents because they sure as hell weren't shopping down at Trader Joe's. People bitch about wetbacks but the local Mexicans have yards more dignity than 25% of the White folks around here.

gadfly said...

@David Begley said...
Official Nebraska state song as of 1967. Nebraska is 150 this year.

"Beautiful Nebraska, as you look around,
You will find a rainbow reaching to the ground;
All these wonders by the Master's hand;
Beautiful Nebraska land."

The Official Centennial Committee ignored the history of Nebraska which settled after the Civil War thanks to Railroad advertising describing lush farmland, confirming the belief that rain follows the plow converting arid land into gardens, but 25 years later the rain stopped and the lament became:

Ah, Nebraska Land, Sweet Nebraska Land!
Upon thy burning soil I stand.
And I look away, across the plains,
And I wonder why it never rains.

buwaya said...

A lot of settlement on the Great Plains was false advertising.
The whole region seems to have depopulated. There are interesting county maps of population loss, highlighting the whole center of the country.

Seems a pity, all that land to build palaces and gardens on, to ride and hunt over. Perhaps one day the US will develop a proper country aristocracy.

rcocean said...

"The whole region seems to have depopulated."

Actually, it hasn't been. It's just not grown like the rest of the country. The reason is quite simple. Today, with automation, one man can do the farm work of 10 back in 1900. And there's no reason to live in North Dakota when you can live in California or Oregon.

There's nothing wrong with Zero Population growth. Its the path not taken. Too bad. This country would've been better off with 200 million people instead of 320 million.