March 20, 2017

At the Polygamy Café...


... you can talk about whatever you want. That's a bottle of porter bought at the Valhalla Café in Bryce Canyon National Park on March 8th. We were eating pizza after a long pre-dusk walk on the Navajo Trail, where I took this picture.


I encourage you to talk all night. Thanks for all your contributions to this blog in comment form and just by reading.

And remember to click on the Amazon link in the banner when you have some shopping to do.


David Begley said...

Within five years a federal district court will find polygamy to be legal. Polygamy is a fundamental aspect of Islam. Mohammed was a polygamist. No rational reason to prohibit it. And First Amendment, don't you know. Love is love.

Sam L. said...

I seem to recall that's a Utah beer.

n.n said...

Polygamy has been recharacterized as friendship with "benefits" but without commitment. It's not for the children, Planned and unPlanned. Unqualified progress.

Meade said...

"Why have only one?" a time.

buwaya said...

I agree. It is the obvious next step after gay marriage. The movement (you know who) tried to go on to the transgender thing but that is simply mad. And there really isnt anywhere to go.

Opinh Bombay said...

Polygamy, like monogamy is when you have too many wives......

buwaya said...

Multiple in parallel solves a lot of problems.
Mainly womens problems.
#1 is that women seem to have a biological need to marry up.
Unfortunately there are a very limited number of men qualified for that, leaving hordes of unhappy women. They can marry up in series, but that is wasteful, risky, and distressing.
#2 is that women crave security. A communal system of living seems to offer an economically resilient system, pooling resources in an extended family.
#3 is that women seem to be made to exist in a female society; most would rather deal with other women. Women are communal.
#4 is it simplifies childcare, again the extended family benefit for a population that has lost its connection to extended families.

This does very little for many men of course, and is very prone to abuse, but its possible that there is enough desperation out there that for many polygamy can seem like a lesser evil.

n.n said...

Relationships without borders are not only the next logical step, but it would bridge the moral chasm created by the achievement of Pro-Choice/"=" activists. There really is no logical limit with the progress of medical and moral protocols. This is only the beginning of healing and weirdness. No Judgment.

Original Mike said...

The moon. Bah, humbug!

traditionalguy said...

Serial monogamy is a good compromise.

Michael K said...

"I agree. It is the obvious next step after gay marriage."

Yes, the trannie thing will never fly, so to speak. There just aren't enough trannies no matter how hard they try to make them.

Polygamy is the next logical step.

Fernandinande said...

Where can I buy packaged alcoholic beverage products to go?
"All packaged liquor, wine and full-strength beer must be purchased from a Utah state liquor store or a package agency. There are 41 state stores (including three specialty wine stores) and 111 smaller package agencies. Some hotels and resorts have package agencies to accommodate their guests through room service. For a complete list of all store and package agency locations, click here. Beer (with 3.2% alcohol content by weight) in bottles or cans may be purchased to go at most grocery and convenience stores in Utah.
Utah is a “control state”, and only the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control (DABC) may lawfully have liquor products imported and shipped into Utah."

Fernandinande said...

This [binge drinking] means the median societal cost per state for each alcoholic drink consumed is about $1.91. ">The cost per drink in Utah is $2.74 — the highest in the nation — compared to $1.73 in Montana, $1.57 in Idaho and $1.23 in Nevada.

Fernandinande said...

jake said...

I'll try something on topic here. My wife, 4 year old son and myself recently purchased a National Parks year pass as we visited St. Thomas (in Lake Mead National Recreation Area). St. Thomas was most recently underwater as it was flooded when the Hoover Dam was built. Pretty neat stuff. I'd recommend Meadhouse to check it out next time you are in Clark County. Valley of Fire is a State Park nearby and is neat as well. This coming weekend the family will be making our way to Death Valley before it becomes too unbearably hot. The next weekend, perhaps Zion. All within a days drive from Las Vegas.

Dave D said...

I'm tired of these microbrews. Far too many and they seem to compete for:

1) Ridiculous names that have NOTHING to do with the beer. Shock value is the primary mechanism at play.

2) How much hops you can cram into them.

Give me a traditional Dortmunder lager or even a Bud Light and I'm happy as a clam.

David said...

The cluster-fuck beer, perfect brew for our times.

n.n said...

There is another legal form of polygamy that was enabled by the advent of sperm banks, including two moms and an anonymous father. It's ironic that Mormons are the last to follow this progression, but they were only ever polygamists in the exception, and in the dreams of political competitors.

Meade said...

Totally agree, David D. Too much hops and too much carbonation. Not enough malted barley richness. I gave Polygamy Porter a big thumbs down.

Michael K said...

" I gave Polygamy Porter a big thumbs down."

Thank you, I will act accordingly.

Robert Kramer said...

I've got the shirt. It has two slogans:

Why have just one?


Take some home to the wives.

Laslo Spatula said...

From the Fauxhaus Blog:

Tumblr acts as if it’s a staunch champion of women’s rights by supporting such groups as Planned Parenthood — but it still refuses to help tackle revenge porn, victims say.

"A 27-year-old Bronx woman sued the blogging site in Manhattan Supreme Court last week after a tape of her having sex with her boyfriend 10 years ago, when she was just 17, was posted in December and shared 1,200 times... The post included the woman’s name and a link to her Facebook page."

Okay, to begin: no, I don't have the link to her Facebook page. Nor have I seen the tape in question, so I don't know if the tape is thirty seconds of poor-lit tentative iPhone blowjob or thirty minutes of multi-position multi-orifice naked bedroom rodeo. What I am saying is that I respect the woman's Privacy, and also that initial Google hits did not produce the goods.

I DO have a problem with 'revenge porn.' Usually a word used before 'porn' indicates the contents of what is IN the video: anal porn, lesbian porn, bondage porn, Black Monster Cock porn -- you get the idea. The preceding word is not usually meant to assert Intention. Let's boil that down: does anyone use the phrase 'Masturbation Porn'? No? Exactly.

Semantics aside, the idea of Porn being used as Revenge is uncomfortable, and those that would masturbate to it based only on the Revenge Aspect are Bad People Who Are Doing It Wrong.

But what if the so-called 'Revenge Porn' has Artistic Merit? Does it not deserve a chance to be judged on THOSE attributes? If Picasso painted a model out of 'Revenge' would it not still be hailed as a Piece of Art, worthy of exhibition and critical analysis? To those who would scoff at this comparison I would ask: if you had the choice RIGHT NOW of getting a blow-job from a Hot Chick or looking at a Picasso painting which would YOU choose?

And are we to automatically decide that the Intent IS Revenge because One Party declares it such? Could not the reason the Porn is being shared simply be the Pride of the Other Party? "Look! That is MY magnificent cock!" "Those are MY magnificent shaved testicles!" "Look at me move! I am the God of Fuck!" Like that.

Of course, there is also the Issue of Privacy. Which might be worth discussing if the Concept of Privacy still existed in our Society. But it doesn't. Sad, yes, but spilled milk at this point.

Time for a poll:

If a man who had anal sex with Scarlett Johansson offered to show a tape of the acts, your response would be:

1. The man is morally bankrupt to even consider such a thing. Pig.

2. It is none of my business. They chose to film it, it is their problem, not mine. But I wouldn't watch it.

3. It is none of my business. They chose to film it, it is their problem, not mine. But -- sure -- I'd like to see it. Does it include any blow-job footage? Because I would REALLY like to see Scarlett giving a blow-job. She's got great blow-job lips. This IS anonymous, right?

5. I would have to see it to judge it on its Artistic Merits. I sure hope the Lighting is good.

6. This isn't going to be another of those Paris Hilton Grainy Night Vision Sex things, is it? That sucked. But I still masturbated.

7. I don't see why guys find her that attractive, anyway.

8. I've ruined a sock just thinking about it.

I am Laslo.

Dr Weevil said...

Looks like the brewery photoshopped Bouguereau's Le Ravissement de Psyche, adding the extra women (probably from other Bouguereaus) and Cupid's very ugly beard.

JaimeRoberto said...

I'm guessing that the reason the Mormon church was prominent in the Proposition 8 campaign was that they could see that the next step would be polygamy, and they don't want to fight that internal battle again.

Freeman Hunt said...

Poor choice of word for use in foodstuff product name. Juxtaposition of word with edible product produces feelings of gross out.

Etienne said...
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Etienne said...
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Guildofcannonballs said...

The only artist worthy of discussion is Elvis, and you bet your ass he knows it to this very exact lonely day.

Guildofcannonballs said...


Unknown said...

Elvis was a very talented performer -- who largely sat out Rock's most crucial decade until he showed back up in 1968.

We can only imagine what might have been had he a decent manager (and doctor..)

Etienne said...
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Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lewis Wetzel said...

7. I don't see why guys find her that attractive, anyway.

Johansson can't be taller than 4'11". She's a frikkin' hobbit!

Unknown said...

Hmm. has anyone seen her barefoot?

Lewis Wetzel said...

No one would ever buy "Masturbation Lager," I suppose.

Gospace said...

Scarlett Johansson 5'3" from quick google search.

Multiple in parallel solves a lot of problems.
Mainly womens problems.

Soleves imaginary problems, creates real societal problems. Excess single men with no mate aren't a good thing.

#1 is that women seem to have a biological need to marry up.
Unfortunately there are a very limited number of men qualified for that, leaving hordes of unhappy women. They can marry up in series, but that is wasteful, risky, and distressing.

There are many blogs that discuss this, usually in terms of SMV- sexual market value. A women's SMV peaks relatively early compared to a man's. And a women's SMV is determined mostly by looks, not anything else. A man's SMV, if the man continues up the ladder of success, grows as his wallet grows. The HS nerd who couldn't get women to look at him in HS, becomes extraordinarily attractive to 20 something women in his mid-30s when he's making a quarter million a year before stock options. A women in the same situation can attract gigolos. Who will take care of her sexual desires, but want a great deal of material comfort. And they don't want kids and family.

#2 is that women crave security. A communal system of living seems to offer an economically resilient system, pooling resources in an extended family.

The history of communal living isn't so positive. Slackers in their financial or work contributions tend to be cast out into the darkness.

#3 is that women seem to be made to exist in a female society; most would rather deal with other women. Women are communal.

Do you actually know any women? Most of them I know MUCH prefer dealing with men for anything. They especially hate working for other women; almost to a woman they prefer male supervisors.

#4 is it simplifies childcare, again the extended family benefit for a population that has lost its connection to extended families.

Again, at odd with biology. Women take care of their own offspring. The figure of the evil stepmother exists for a reason. Women who leave their children in care of non-biological female caretakers are asking for trouble. That's just the way it is.

This does very little for many men of course, and is very prone to abuse, but its possible that there is enough desperation out there that for many polygamy can seem like a lesser evil.

Anyone who looks at polygamy as the lesser evil hasn't taken a hard enough look. It is an evil. Western society with marriage based on monogamy is and has been far more successful in every way shape and form then any polygamous society. A man with a wife and offspring has reasons to strive to be above subsistence level living. A man with no wife, no offspring, well, you have Japan as the modern day example, with it's imploding population. BTW, there's never been in history a successful society with SSM either. We're at the start of the experiment to see if there can be. I predict negative results.

Saint Croix said...

one at at time is enough for me

holy fuck

I mean, sure, on the beer bottle it's all orgasms and good times

but in real life it's all, "who's doing the dishes?"

and "you snoring bastard"

and don't forget the emotional tag team

when one of them is exhausted from improving my ass

the other one jumps in and takes her turns

no thanks!

no way!

who the fuck came up with that one anyway

it's like Communism

sounds good as long as it's a fantasy

"hey let's all share!"

oh yeah, sure, free love

and then in real life it's all herpes and gulags

Earnest Prole said...

Isn’t one wife enough?

AlanKH said...

Polygamy brings to mind Robin Willaims' quip about apartheid South Africa: "Mr. Botha, there are fourteen million black people and three million white people. Does the name 'Custer' mean anything to you?"

Bruce Hayden said...

Ah, Polygamy Porter. Picked some up maybe three years ago on the way to MT from AZ. From Flagstaff, we head north, then around the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, on US 89, to ultimately pop over the ridge onto I-15 just south of Beaver, UT, bypassing Vegas and the Virgin Canyon. Normally, we cross over the border into UT right after Page, but there was a problem with that route one time. I think that the bridge over the CO River may have been out. In any case, that meant taking US 89A closer to the rim, which meant staying in AZ, and crossing over into UT between Fredonia and Kanab (where you connect back to US 89). We stopped in Fredonia for beer (knowing we would be crossing into UT in a couple miles), and saw a Judd's country store, advertising Beer, Guns and Ammo. Had to stop, take pictures, etc. In there, found the Polygamy Porter. Bought some for a friend in N ID, who is into weird beers, plus the usual Colors Light (having grown up around Golden, CO). If you head west from Fredonia, instead of north to Kanab and US 89, you run into Colorado City, AZ and Huldale, UT, which is the center of polygamy country, and hence the name of the beer.

Unfortunately, not the end of the story. Up in MT, at some point, the Polygamy Porter disappeared. It had been in the laundry room somewhere. Probably somewhere it wasn't supposed to have been left. My partner claimed ignorance of its fate. Things have a tendency to disappear there (2 pair of glasses, headlamps, etc). Then, maybe a month later, I accidentally hit the controls for the washing machine, which had never been used in 10 years (another story). Grinding crunch. Stopped the machine, looked in, and saw 6 broken bottles of Polygamy Porter, plus a couple other missing objects. What a mess, that I had to clean up, since it was my beer that I broke. She still claimed ignorance (and, thus, innocence). Right. I could almost believe the pack rat story for missing glasses and headlamps, but not a 6 pack of beer, and not stashed in the washing machine. In almost 20 years together, I have heard her admit fault less than a handful of times. Just comes with the territory. Still, if I drive it alone next month on the trip N to MT, I may go via 89A, and pick up some Polygamy Porter again in Fredonia.

Warren Fahy said...

You're happy.

Bruce Hayden said...

@Begley - agreed. Remember several years ago over at the Volokh Conspiracy where EV there had argued that there wasn't a slippery slope from gay marriage through polygamy (he is big on slippery slopes). I disagreed. Thing is, is that there is historical and Bibkical (including, arguably, even New Testament) support for Polygamy, and it is still officially accepted in Islam. Indeed, there is some evidence that Barack Obama I was already married when he married the mother of (former President) Barack Obama II, making him illegitimate under US law, but not under the Nigerian law of his father. Or, something like that. Gay marriage had no such linage or history. Instead, throughout history, it was anathema. Indeed, throughout the Muslim world, homosexuals are still routinely brutally murder. The left, in particular, in this country is going to have a very hard time not supporting the legalization of polygamy, with their support and mainstreaming of Islam. If we can't ban unveted immigration from those 6 Muslim majority countries on 1st Amdt grounds, then how can those same courts prevent polygamy for Muslims, when it is specifically sanctioned in the Quran? I am sure that it is possible, but I just don't see a persuasive, disciplined, legal argument against polygamy in light of the legalization of gay marriage. Though, I don't see the benefits - one wife is more than sufficient. I don't see the allure of being at the beck and call of 2 or more women, and then they fighting over which one to obey first. Life is too short for that sort of brain damage.

Humperdink said...

Polygamy? I frequently and often say "I was wrong, I'm sorry" to my bride. It is tough, but necessary. Saying it to multiple spouses would be ridiculous.

OTOH, with multiple spouses, maybe it wouldn't be required. Time out for you!

Bruce Hayden said...

I should explain the headlamp part of my story above. It is very dark most nights at our house in MT. No street lights, which are something you just become used to living around a lot of people. That is her house, so no motion sensitive night lights strewn around the house, like I have here. I tend to wake up for a couple hours in the middle of the night (as now). I need to see to move around the house at night, at least a little. Did I mention that it is very dark most nights at our house in MT? I pretty much know the layout of the house by now - but "pretty much" is the operative phrase. She has knick nacks strewn around the house, and, in particular, this one weird decorative clock with three hanging metal springs on the wall by the master bedroom. If I cut the corner too closely on my way to/from my bathroom, I brush the hanging springs, which are just hanging there, and they fall to the ground making an infernal racket. Bad during the day, but much worse at night. Esp since we don't have the normal sounds around us of civilization - no cars driving by, etc. It is quiet there. Very quiet. Waking her from a sound sleep is always perilous. Esp abruptly with a loud noise, She rarely falls back to sleep, which is a big problem 18 hours later. (As contrasted to me, who has had some narcolepsy for at least 40 years).

Which is where headlamps come in. Lights also wake her up, esp bright lights in an almost pitch black room. If the headlamp accidentally flashes into the bedroom, she is liable to wake, complaining about the spotlight. Even if barely entered the room, and had to have bounced around a bit to get to her on the far side of the bed. And remember - she doesn't fall back to sleep. Thus, her antipathy towards my headlamps. And, I suspect, why they, on occasion, disappear (though she continues to blame pack rats - ignoring thatwe have enough poison out to kill an army of them). She can't morally, I think, actually throw them out (though, by now, I do inspect the outgoing garbage, which I am responsible for, having the pickup to take it to the dump). So, offending stuff of mine gets squirreled away somewhere, and she forgets where it was thus squirreled. Which is humorous, since she has an otherwise photographic memory. By now, I believe her - there have been too many times when she hid stuff that we really did need, and couldn't later find, sometimes taking hours to search. So, when we go to MT, I will, inevitably have a half dozen headlamps, knowing that by fall, I will be down to a couple, the rest having disappeared through attrition. I buy them as cheaply as I can, knowing the fate of my expensive ones.

My backup though is my iPhone, which can use the flash as a flashlight. I keep it with me at all times, fearing that it, too, will suffer the fate of the headlamps, glasses, Polygamy Porter, etc. Plus it, along with my 3 iPads have a great built in app "Find My iPhobe". Not only does it show the location of all my IOS devices, but you can set off the alarm on them. Which I have had to use a couple times, after the pack rat absconded with the iPhone, resulting in the discovery of other "lost" items in the discovered cache. The pack rat has gotten wise, and quit going after my IOS devices.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Since this is a Café... Idris Elba has been announced as the actor playing Roland in the upcoming Dark Tower movie. Matthew McConaughey plays his adversary, which has potential, but Idris Elba? Really?

Are we just blockbusting again? Stephen King originally conceived the character as being similar to Clint Eastwood, the young Clint Eastwood. I'd like to know one thing. Is he going to wear blue contact lenses? Oh and a time machine because he must be about fifty? I wonder if he will shave.

Stephen King endorsed this but I'm sure he went along with a fait accompli. Stephen King is a progressive, certainly a hidebound Democrat, and furthermore on a recent occasion where he stood on his hind legs and said something independent-minded about women, he was quickly squashed and made to recant. It's a sad day. I was a stone-cold dark tower fan.

Racist, right because anybody can play anybody else. They might as well have given them part to Scarlett Johansson. Or Tilda Swinton, she looks more like Roland than Elba does.

Kate said...

Beer is available here in grocery stores. Any other liquor, including wine, is only available in a state-run, separate location that looks like a Soviet bunker.

We've started drinking a lot more beer since moving to Utah.

Bob Boyd said...

I've had Polygamy Porter, but can't remember if I liked the beer or not. I like the name.

There're quite a few clever, funny names for beers nowadays. A friend ordered me one at a restaurant last month called 'Scepter Head'. Excellent. The joke was, "she was good looking...'cept her head."

How about 'Opsimath IPA'? Althaus Amber Ale? Meade Mead?

Todd Galle said...

Regarding beer - one of my responsibilities at work has been to re-start our sites historic brewing program. My volunteers and I will do 15-20 brews a year, demonstrating 17th Century Anglo-American practices. We can make some really good stuff with just two 45 gallon copper kettles using period recipes. Best we have made recently is an English March Beer, with 7 pounds of malt, 3 pounds of oats, and 2 pounds of dried peas yielding 5 gallons. Excellent, and consistent. I'll be making it later this month. But they were also very experimental especially in the American Colonies, using sassafras, pine needles, maize, wheat, rye, molasses, etc. After the March beer, we're planning on a 'fig porter' and a beer using dandelions for the bittering agent, as our hops won't be ready this early.

Clyde said...

When I was a kid, I couldn't figure out why Windy (from the eponymous song by The Association) was reaching out to capture a Mormon. Probably something to do with polygamy.

Rick Turley said...

I don't drink beer but I thought one of the cleverest marketing handles was for Alimony Ale, "The Bitterest Brew in America."

Curious George said...

"Earnest Prole said...
Isn’t one wife enough?"

Depends on how many sammiches you need made.

southcentralpa said...

"Sir, do you know the penalty for bigamy is in this state??"

-from an old Addams Family ep

Seriously, though, is there a name for the (for lack of better description) faux 'Fro-hawk hairstyle seemingly every Black player seems to be rocking in the NCAA men's b-ball tournament this year?

EMyrt said...

If that's Polygamy Porter, why the Hell rip off Paolo & Francesca for the art work with a couple of other cuties tossed into the back? Passionate adultery is not iconic for polygamy.