January 26, 2017

"Contemplating marriage, I gave Carrie a sapphire ring and subsequently in the romance she gave me a Donald Roller Wilson oil painting of a monkey in a blue dress next to a tiny floating pencil..."

"... which I kept for years until it began to frighten my children. One of the most brilliant and hilarious minds of our eon, Carrie would say things like: 'I love tiny babies. When they cry they turn red and look like screaming tomatoes.' OR 'This romance is finished the second you let out even a threep. I’ll be sick for a year.' AND 'You have a jawline, hold your chin up otherwise you look like a tuna.' From then on I would identify myself on the phone as Tuna Neck."

Dan Aykroyd writes about the time he and Carrie Fisher were a pair.

I'm fascinated by the idea of a couple where the man would give the woman a sapphire ring and the woman would give the man a painting of a monkey in a blue dress next to a tiny floating pencil — and it's not the kind of situation where she's not a painter of paintings of things like monkeys in dresses near gravity-defying writing implements but she actually went out and located an artist who did and bought the thing for the man who might have imagined himself a bit individualistic for going with sapphire instead of the diamonds those ordinary men get for their ladies.

I do like the meeting of the minds in blueness — sapphire and monkey dress. 

Here's a Pinterest page of paintings by Donald Roller Wilson. They are quite fabulous. An example:

I can't imagine getting one of these — especially when it was a gift selected by someone you loved — and then getting rid of it because it scared your children. Put it in a room where the children don't go or hang a drapery in front of it to be pulled back when the children are in bed. Wait for the children to grow up. Daughters rescued from nightmares of dubious monkeys.

I'll bet they'd like that painting now.


buwaya said...

I got my wife a ruby.
Because, you know.

Sean Gleeson said...

So, did he let out a threep? And did it make her sick? Is that why they parted? What the heck is a threep anyway?

Bob Boyd said...

Suggested caption: "Does this dress make my butt look big?"

harryo said...

That was before she got fat. But she was a funny old fat lady at 60. I blame gravity and cocaine. Gravity being the more evil drug.

rhhardin said...

ANNA: I can't believe you have that picture.

WILLIAM: You like Chagall?

ANNA: I do. it feels like how love should be-- floating through a dark blue sky.

WILLIAM: With a goat, playing a violin.

ANNA: Well, yes. Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat.

- Notting Hill

wildswan said...

Is the monkey smoking in the woods because you can't in the castle?

Or is the monkey going to go into the castle disguised as a washerwoman and introduce smoking at the Princess's wedding to get even for being expelled for engaging in monkey business?

harryo said...

Threap: argue, bicker, rebuke, scold.

BJK said...

Considering the painting was a gift from a famous ex-girlfriend...scaring the kids might not have been the only reason he was forced to get rid of it.

YoungHegelian said...

I see the monkey. I see the blue dress. I don't see no floating pencil.

I see a floating pimento-stuffed olive. I see a pencil behind the monkey's ear, like she's an accountant, & she's holding an enormo cigarette that's burned down almost to the filter.

Is this the same painting that Dan Akroyd is referring to? Or, did the artist do multiple paintings on the same theme -- e.g. Etudes sur un singe en blue.

harryo said...

My friend at work who is a queer, told me his mother mother once gave him a ring with Amethyst in it.

"It's your birthstone you know?"

"Of course it's my birthstone. You don't think I know my own birthstone?"

"Well, don't get pissy, I think it is quite nice."

"I know ten dykes who would think it is quite nice. Couldn't you hold your legs together for three days, I mean it's a short month. I could have had fucking Aquamarine! Now there's a fucking gay mans stone."

Anyway, I don't wear a ring, because I work with machinery, and those people who did wear rings, are now left without a finger and gained stitches where the machine grabbed them and removed their liver and ring finger.

Widmerpool said...

Highly recommend the Debbie/Carrie documentary:

Bright Lights

Fernandinande said...

dubious monkeys

Looks like a chimp, which a devil, not a monkey:

She's the devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress,
Devil with the blue dress on.

SGT Ted said...

"threep" sounds like a type of flatulence.

Big Mike said...

A bunch of years ago a woman who worked for me got a 3+ carat emerald engagement ring (wife said it was at least 3 carats, and women tend to know these things). The woman had really red hair and very green eyes. Do emeralds come in shades of green? Because the ring on her finger matched her eyes so perfectly I'm wondering whether that was luck or was her fiancé extra attentive to her eye color?

Carrie's eyes were brown; Dan should have gotten her a chocolate diamond if he wasn't going to go for white. Of course when Dan writes "contemplating marriage," it could mean that the sapphire ring wasn't meant to be an engagement ring per se, but still ...

Earnest Prole said...

"threep" sounds like a type of flatulence

It's Scots for contention, so you're absolutely correct. See Fat Bastard in "Austin Powers" for further detail.

John said...

I am just a philistine, unversed in the ways of phart but I am not seeing it.

Where is this floating pencil? All I see is a pencil stuck behind the monkey's ear.

I do see what might be a floating olive behind the monkey. Or it could just be a falling olive

But what do I know.

Keeping with the Orwell theme: "It is not just enough to say that I am holding up 3 fingers, Winston. You must truly see three fingers even if I am holding up four."

How many people see a floating pencil?

(Quoting from memory)

John Henry

BJM said...

Fisher's voice over commentary on the "Postcards From The Edge" DVD is very entertaining, her mind works in oddly wondrous ways. She would have been a blast to hang out with.

William said...

A certain amount of cosplay helps to keep the romance alive. I have nothing against monkeys in blue dresses, but there are more seductive outfits. I wonder what Carrie's feelings were about wearing the Princess Leia harem girl outfit. Such an outfit would help to smooth over the rough spots in many relationships, but I suppose you can't build a successful marriage on such a stratagem. Worth a shot though.

Paul Bird said...

She really had a great sense of humor. RIP.

Molly said...

Total speculation:

"threep" to make a sound or speak with an accent like C3PO from star wars.

holdfast said...

Carrie's "Wishful Drinking" special is pretty entertaining. I don't like to be a scold about what substances people choose to put in their bodies, but she really did prematurely age herself and ruin her voice.

sdharms said...

His paintings are not quite fabulous. They are crap. Dogs playing poker

rehajm said...

Aykroyd ended up with Donna Dixon. Good call.

Hazy Dave said...

I don't know if Wilson made a lot of money providing album covers for Frank Zappa in the 1980's, but it certainly raised his profile, among a certain class of music obsessives, anyway.