September 30, 2016

"Nikki had few defenders on Twitter, but she was the better liked of the two roommates on their dormitory hall."

"Jessica said Nikki had gotten really close to most of the people on the hall and 'got them not to like me.' One of Nikki’s friends, Jessica said, came into the room and tore down her subtweet display... Nikki’s friends remained outside the room. Jessica said she called campus police about it, to report that she was being 'harassed' by them.... Jessica said she never intended her tweets to spread beyond her own friends, whom she assumed would find the whole thing really funny. I asked her how she felt about strangers digging through her roommate’s photos, independently trying to find things to damage Nikki’s reputation online and complete the picture that her viral story had started to paint of this person. 'I don’t know,' she said. 'I really don’t know. Part of me feels bad, but a part of me feels like she’s the one who instigated it.'"

"What happens when your college roommate ‘horror story’ goes viral" (in WaPo, unfortunately).

ADDED: Here's New York Magazine's presentation of the horror story, so you don't have a paywall problem: "Back in my day, if you hated your roommate, you’d march uphill in the snow to the mail center and send an angry telegram to your real friends."

16 comments:

Darrell said...

The least interesting article I've ever read. The new standard.

First Tenor said...

I smell Pulizter!

Laslo Spatula said...

"You're a TERRIBLE roommate Nikki. I want everyone to know that."

"But what have I done to you, Jessica? I've tried to be a good roommate, really."

"You leave paper coffee cups everywhere rather than throw them away, you leave the bathroom a mess, you've licked my boyfriend's balls..."

"That's what this is about, isn't it? That I licked your boyfriend's balls?"

"Well, that's part of it, yes."

"It was part of Study Group! If a guy asked me a question and I didn't know the answer I had to lick his balls, that's all. I licked a LOT of balls."

"Maybe you should study harder."

"Yeah, I know."

"Or did you get the answer wrong on purpose just so you could lick my boyfriend's balls?"

"Jessica! No! I don't even like your boyfriend that way!"

"So my boyfriend isn't good enough for Princess Nikki? Is that it?"

"No, no. It's just that he's yours, that's all. Besides, he didn't even seem all that excited for me to lick his balls."

So what was the question you couldn't answer?"

"I couldn't say what a 'Glory Hole' was. Your boyfriend is GREAT in Gay Studies."

"My boyfriend is very smart."

"He must've had a bad night, though: he got a lot of answers wrong. He licked a LOT of balls that night."

"Well, can you at least not go to those Study Groups with my boyfriend? For me?"

"Yeah. I don't think they even liked me being there. I'm not even invited to the next one."

"Why is that?"

"They say it is 'Gay Bukkake Study Night'..."

Laslo would know where to go from here.


I am The Replacement Laslo.

rhhardin said...

whom she assumed would find the whole thing really funny.

Whom failure.

Curious George said...

I think they should settle it with a pillow fight in their underwear.

David said...

Perhaps we could being back dueling on a selective basis for cases like this.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I think there used to be some show on MTV that had some character named "Puck."

dwarzel said...

Any college student with this amount of spare time on her hands isn't being assigned enough schoolwork.

buwaya said...

Dueling is fine, but these dorm drama things are more typical of girls. At least in the UC system it seems.
Dueling is for men.

Laslo Spatula said...

When I see the name Nikki I can't help but think of Prince's song:

I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said how'd you like to waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind

I wonder if this article's Nikki is like that.

I am The Replacement Laslo.

Etienne said...

People complain about the price of college and student loans that will cripple them for life, and yet we still have students where expense is no object.

When I went to college, I had already CLEP'd all the bullshit degree requirements and the first two years were done at the community college while I was in the Army. When I went to the University, it was just for the meat. I already had the gravy.

If it was me, I'd billy-club those silly bastards. Knock some sense into them...

RAH said...

This is a classic tit for tat. Nicki attacked Jessica by getting more people and slander here in her social world Then she attacked again by calling police. Jessica responded in kind and she got more outside support. This is what happens when girls involve others in their spats

mikee said...

The Replacement Laslo finally hits his stride. Congrats.

William said...

It takes quite a long time to grow up. Twitter is not an aide in the maturing process. Squabbles are transient but the Internet is forever........I wish they had posted photos of the girls so I would know which one to side with.

jg said...

so every person may face potential gang-scrutiny. we all know it intellectually, but i guess it's life-changing when it happens.

shame on whoever participated in this team edward / team jacob fandom.

jg said...

Why would WaPo want to call additional attention to these people?