July 20, 2016

"Republicans Accused of Plagiarizing Entire Convention Scenario from Book of Revelation."

“The first thing that struck me, on Night One, was when the sun became black as sackcloth of hair and the moon like blood... That was just too close to be a coincidence.”


TosaGuy said...

What our country really needs is more snark from insular publications.

mockturtle said...

At first I assumed this HAD to be from The Onion. Unhappily, no.

damikesc said...

Meh. Satire needs some resemblance with reality to actually be satire.

traditionalguy said...

God is sneaking back in the door with Trump. Oh, what a revolting development that is. And this time it's not Gaia riding her environmentalist UN chariot.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I thought it was funny. Perhaps someone could explain what's offensive about it.

Quaestor said...

Duh Nooyawkah is on a rather steep downward trajectory.

JCC said...

Very funny.

He forgot to mention the great star President Wormwood falling onto to us from the sky, and then spending all his time on the golf course when he wasn't transforming our society and screwing up things from Compton to Cairo.

PB said...

Every 4 years it's the same thing from Democrats. Plagiarizing themselves.

Unknown said...

Dr. Carson made a point of giving honorable mention to Lucifer last night in his speech. Fitting.

Nonapod said...

The New Yorker is at least as weird as the Book of Revelation.

n.n said...

The Green, Baby, Class, Social, etc. Profits are unhappy that Republicans are trampling their prophecies and cutting of their revenue streams.

shiloh said...

Not true as sources tell me Trump and his keystone kops are basing the convention solely on two Corinthians!

Praise the Lord! And pass the collection basket ... for Trump.


The idea Trump or any of his sycophants would know anything about the Bible is somewhat amusing.

Laslo Spatula said...

Lamar Gonna Set You Straight....

The "New Yorker"? None of this shit means anything to a black man: this is the clever shit clever White People read when they pretend shit matters. You all realize you're just saying the same shit over and over again, right? Do you even listen to yourselves..?

Talking about Revelations: when White People deal with something they don't like they always get all epic about it. Having to take your Audi in for an oil change is NOT Armageddon, bitches: try living with a broke-down 1985 Cutlass Cierra with a glove-box full of outstanding tickets for Driving While Black ...

You know what Armageddon is to Black People? Having to live with White People -- THAT'S Armageddon. Every day with White People is like The Last Day on Earth for the Black Man, and then we have to live it over and over. Blessed are the Meek, cause it sure as hell ain't the blacks...

You think you got Problems? Fuck You.

I am Laslo.

David Begley said...

The New Yorker elites are just so, so clever. And they have done such a great job too! Reduced Linda Greenhouse to tears.

This kind of stuff shows why Trump wins. The American People are sick of The Masters of the Universe.

Fernandinande said...

For a minute there I thought I was reading the NYT:

“White women have spent centuries stealing black women’s genius, labor, babies, bodies.”

Dem be some really old white womens.

Fernandinande said...

Lamar Gonna Set You Straight....

Black Olives Matter

Meade said...

I imagine God found it funny. Unless He didn't read it. Maybe He doesn't watch the Republican convention. Too boring. He probably plays dice instead.

AReasonableMan said...

Mogadishu on the Cuyahoga, day 3.

Humperdink said...

@Shiloh ..... It's "Praise the Lord and pass the ammo."


PS: It is just me or does the label "The Bororwitz Report" sound a bit much.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

“White women have spent centuries stealing black women’s genius, labor, babies, bodies.”

In all fairness, back in the disco era, what with my not having the slightest idea how to dance, when pressed onto the dance floor, my only hope was to spot a black guy and to ape his moves, figuring that I'd be so bad at it that nobody could possibly notice.

That's right. I said ape.

PB said...

There's a red moon rising
On the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There's a red moon rising
On the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There's an oil barge winding
Down the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There's an oil barge winding
Down the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

Cleveland city of light city of magic
Cleveland city of light you're calling me
Cleveland, even now I can remember
Cause the Cuyahoga River
Goes smokin' through my dreams

Burn on, big river, burn on
Burn on, big river, burn on
Now the Lord can make you tumble
And the Lord can make you turn
And the Lord can make you overflow
But the Lord can't make you burn

Burn on, big river, burn on
Burn on, big river, burn on

Randy Newman - Burn On Lyrics

Skeptical Voter said...

Stupid sumbitch at the magazine for the New York numb nutted wouldn't know the Book of Revelation if it bit him on the backside. Same goes for 99 and 44/100th of his readers.

Drago said...

This just in: Dems accidently break glass on the "Open if Huckabee nominated" access panel and are unable to deviate from game plan directions contained within even after it is noticed that Huckabee is not the nominee.

traditionalguy said...

The idea that a life long Presbyterian does not know anything about the book called the Bible is a display of total ignorance of The Christian Religion that was so clearly written for us by The Apostle Paul and rediscovered by John Calvin, John Knox and William Tyndale after 1000 years of captivity being used as a diluted ruling method for Rome and its Devine right Kings.

Those guys literally created literacy in Christiandom 550 years ago, and no one is using those positive self confidence skills better today than the Calvinist Protestant DJT.

Drago said...

AReasonableMan: "Mogadishu on the Cuyahoga, day 3."

And that explains why the bullets have not been flying by left-wing BLM/islamic murderers at the Republican National Convention and why the leftist protests have been very tame.

Not to worry lefties, I'm sure there is an unsuspecting policeman/policewoman or two somewhere else that you can attack by putting glass in their lunch or ambushing to try and get your cop-kill rate up where you'd like it.

shiloh said...

"Randy Newman - Burn On Lyrics"

Political Science

No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens

We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now

YoungHegelian said...

Comedians tells jokes, are if they are morally decent sorts, they punch up not down. You are not punching up if you're shilling for the party that inhabits the White House.

I don't consider Andy Borowitz or Samantha Be to be comedians. I consider them to be live sex act performers.

Basically, their act is to go on stage & see how far they can work the Administration's cock up their ass.

Big Mike said...

Damn! I knew I had seen something like it before.

Terry said...

Meade wrote:
He probably plays dice instead.

You can believe Meade, or you can believe Einstein.

MisterBuddwing said...

I imagine God found it funny. Unless He didn't read it. Maybe He doesn't watch the Republican convention. Too boring. He probably plays dice instead.

Yeah, and Earth is one of the dice.

M Jordan said...

Speaking of plagiarism, d'yall know that Hillary lifted her campaign slogan, "I'm with her" from a short-live 2003 TV show, "I'm With Her." Plagiarism? Copyright infringement?

If she really wanted to use a TV show title for a slogan, why not Arrested Development, The Big House or Every Witch Way?

Matthew Sablan said...

I wonder why we don't see any, "Will Democrats over reach?" articles about this non-issue.

I mean, we get it for Republicans over issues where people die, so you'd think the press would be curious about any over reaching here.

The Democrats set up the rules already: Plagiarism doesn't matter to them. Why do they act like they care now?

Big Mike said...

Folks, let's give credit where credit is due. At least Borowitz knows what the Book of Revelations is.

PB said...

Another Cleveland song: "There's no surf in Cleveland", Euclid Beach Band


Put together for a fund-raiser some decades ago.

Static Ping said...

That was funny.

The problem these days is when you see that quote, you expect that whoever is saying it means it literally. And you will be labeled a hater for pointing out how ridiculous it is. Parody only works when you have a bedrock of sanity to work with.

PB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jupiter said...

I'm with the Bat. It is pretty funny. The opening quote sounds just deadpan enough to be some prattling academic, the Four Horsemen is a nice followup, and the Manafort quotes sound a lot like a political manager disingenuously denying the painfully obvious. One of Borowitz' better efforts, actually. And he had sense enough not to go on too long.

PB said...

And the "B" side which might be a fitting backgournd sound track for the convention for some.

"Laugh in the Dark" which includes the obligatory scary clown.


Which includes nice historical footage and photos of a long-gone amusement park - Euclid Beach Park.

Michael McClain said...

The author most likely had to borrow a Bible to source his article.

YoungHegelian said...


One of Borowitz' better efforts, actually.

I agree. But Borowitz has just poisoned the well for me by being a Democratic shill over & over again in the most self-righteous & unimaginative way possible. This time, he was an imaginative shill.

And, as Big Mike points out, that a secular liberal Jew knows the Book of Revelation well enough to build a column around it is a pleasant surprise in itself.

TreeJoe said...

Violence spiked last year higher in major cities, in a single year, more than ever before in our nation's tracked history of crime stats. In the past month, there's been alot of police killed and wounded by criminals seeking them out. Race relations are at a ~50 year low in our country. A commonwealth is about to go bankrupt for the first time in 80 years.

Terrorism is on the rise globally and we are engaged in large scale land wars in 2 middle eastern countries and many more we don't talk about, unsuccessfully by most measures. Our biggest allies in Europe are struggling with their own economic and border issues.

Mass immigration continues unchecked into the U.S., with an unsecure border and no solution in place and most arguments around "expel them" or "naturalize them" rather than middle ground approaches.

Iran, a country we just inked a pretty secretive deal with, is openly pursuing nuclear ambitions and breaking the deal as well as using released funds to support terrorism - again, openly.

China is expansionist and at war with the Phillipines over land rights and continues to steal state secrets without ramification.

Russia is expansionist - successfully thus far - and deliberately antagonizing our military on numerous fronts.


I understand it's easy to feel cozy in your surroundings here in the U.S., but it is not a cozy time. It is a time for girding for whats to come.

Fred Rawlings said...

You know, Steve Martin could hit one like this out of the park every time in his New Yorker essays.
Very nice satire by Borowitz.
Too bad he has been insufferable all those other times.

shiloh said...

btw Althouse, you do know this was a joke? As there is no humor/satire tag.

damikesc said...

If he compared it to a poor pro wrestling event, it'd have worked. It seems to be schlocky as all royal Hell (honestly, it would be a bit insulting to wrestling to compare this to it).

Roughcoat said...

It's funny.

I imagine God found it funny. Unless He didn't read it. Maybe He doesn't watch the Republican convention. Too boring. He probably plays dice instead.

Wrong. Ask Einstein.

Fernandinande said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fernandinande said...

Roughcoat said...
Wrong. Ask Einstein.

Well, so far he's wrong, but thought QM was an approximation of a yet unknown unified field theory which would explain the apparent randomness. So far.

"The first is that his use of the word ‘God’ implies that he was a religious person who believed in the existence of God. Nothing could be further from the truth; indeed, Einstein can be described more accurately as an outright atheist.
There were thus three features of Quantum Mechanics that Einstein disapproved of – it was probabilistic, nonlocal, and linear. Despite this opposition, Einstein realized that it was a successful theory within its domain of applicability. He believed that a future unified field theory would have to reproduce the results of Quantum Mechanics, perhaps as a linear approximation to a deeper nonlinear theory.
Today, 50 years after his death, the mainstream of physics does not take Einstein’s approach seriously. The popular notion is that he was unreasonably opposed to the highly successful Quantum Mechanics. While I have tried to correct this misconception by presenting Einstein’s cogent reasoning behind his stand, only time (and perhaps future brilliant scientists who take up his approach) will tell us if he was justified. Let us not forget that Newton’s theory of gravity was enormously successful until Einstein came along. We await the next Einstein."

mockturtle said...

Einstein's theories are being upended even as we speak/post. But that's a subject for another thread.

eric said...

I should have come to the comment section first. I don't like giving them page views/clicks but thought it was the Onion.

Paul Snively said...

The first is that his use of the word ‘God’ implies that he was a religious person who believed in the existence of God. Nothing could be further from the truth; indeed, Einstein can be described more accurately as an outright atheist.

Bollocks. Einstein explicitly said "I am not an atheist" and claimed to be, and acted like, a Spinozan pantheist. He was, in fact, angered when atheists quoted him in support of their views.

mockturtle: Einstein's theories are being upended even as we speak/post.

Forgive me, but: double-bollocks. General Relativity is the best attested physical theory we have, and continues to develop increasingly parsimonious theoretical expression. By comparison, high-energy physics has been wandering in a desert for about 90 years, with no end in sight for the claptrap of String Theory, Brane Theory, M-Theory... It's much more likely that we'll see fruit from Gauge Theory Gravity with Geometric Calculus and/or Quantum Gauge Field Theory in Cohesive Homotopy Type Theory than in any of the currently trendy nonsense in physics.

mockturtle said...

Snively, I wasn't referring to his General Relativity theory.

mockturtle said...

Paul, I don't read 'pop physics' so I couldn't argue about that but I read some interesting hypotheses regarding pressure equivalence and gravity in the context of dark matter.

Paul Snively said...

mockturtle, OK, color my curiosity piqued. Got link(s)?

mockturtle said...

This is one: http://phys.org/news/2012-09-mathematicians-theory-dark-energy-einstein.html

Jupiter said...

mockturtle said...
"Snively, I wasn't referring to his General Relativity theory."

Einstein's General Theory Of Relativity might more appropriately be termed Einstein's Geometric Theory of Gravitation. So, yeah, you were.

mockturtle said...

OK. I was obliquely referring to one facet of the Theory.

Josephbleau said...

Blogger AReasonableMan said...
Mogadishu on the Cuyahoga, day 3.

I know that Cleveland is a minority rich city, but it is not nice to make an issue of it.

Paul Snively said...

mockturtle: That's interesting. It seems possibly related to other recent work generalizing and unifying Maxwell's equations, such as this. I still wouldn't call it overturning Einstein, since it appears to simply add terms to his field equations, but it ain't beanbag, either.