April 30, 2016

"Yes, that’s the (totally classy) cover to the book, which is one of a 2-part volume retailing for $1700.00..."

"Such dear, dear friends. That last shot doesn’t look so much like an airkiss as it does a very slow assault...."

Hey, yeah. It reminds me of this.


Laslo Spatula said...

An article about two vapid women and their vapid interaction, and:

"Hey, yeah. It reminds me of this."

Althouse sends us to view men beating men in an event where we fully expect manly men to beat manly men.

For women I assume a half-hearted air-kiss fully equals a man's knock-out blow to the jaw.

In both cases: nothing personal, it is about business.

Maybe I am trolling Althouse.

You can never tell, anymore.

I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...

Women: Marie Antoinette and Let them Eat Cake.

Men: Marquess of Queensbury Rules.

I think that covers it.

I am Laslo.

Michael K said...

Ugh ! I actually clicked that link. That'll teach me to look at your links.

Laslo Spatula said...

You might think that these women are marginal in any real talent is why there is dislike, but that would be elitist and wrong: Gwyneth Paltrow IS talented, but she does this fashion air-kiss empty shit, too.

Most disappointing part of a great movie: "Seven" -- we get to the end, we realize that Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in the box, even Brad Pitt realizes Gwyneth Paltrow's head must be in the box, but do WE get to see inside the box?


The potentially best money-shot of all time cinema, and Fincher couldn't pull the trigger.

If they had shown Gwyneth Paltrow's severed head in the box I would make it into a GIF and then masturbate and masturbate until there were no fluids left in my body, and then I'd try to masturbate one last time.

When the EMDs arrived and saw my desiccated body they would see the GIF replaying endlessly on my monitor in full HD and understand.

I am Laslo.

Kate said...

I didn't know T-Lo existed until I read them here a month-or-so ago. Thank you! That they stop content on the weekends breaks my newly-obsessed heart.

Laslo Spatula said...

I met Gwyneth Paltrow at a party once. I was at the bar and she sat beside me, doing this annoying fingers-through-hair-and-toss thing,

Anyway, I told her that I despised her, but it only turned her on.

"How much do you despise me?" she asked, sipping her custom White Russian made with Ensure.

"A lot," I said, lighting a cigarette.

"Tell me more," she said.

"I find you pretentious and twee," I replied. "No," I corrected myself. "You WISH you could be Twee in that wispy British way, but you can't even do that right."

I thought that might break her spirit, but instead she grabbed my belt and dragged me behind her to a stall in the women's bathroom.

"Fuck me in my pale ass," she said, her voice suprisingly husky for...well: for Gwyneth Paltrow."

"I'm not interested," I said."

"It's okay," she replied. "I haven't pooped once since I was nineteen. I'm on an AMAZING diet."

"That can't be good for you," I said.

"Break the Seal," she implored.

So I thought of Scarlett Johannson and fucked her in the ass.

Note: this happened before I ever fucked Scarlett Johannson in the ass. I would never cheat on Scarlett once we made it to anal. I am a gentleman.

I am Laslo.

Sebastian said...

So: a dress that looks like "sheer wrapping paper" (a criticism, apparently) makes AA think of a punch to a guy's face. Okay.

Ann Althouse said...

She kissed me and it felt like a hit.

Henry said...

They never disappoint.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tim in vermont said...

It does look like one of those James Bond kisses where she reaches for the knife she has secreted in her dress.

Darrell said...

safa and Marwa aren't robots, I guess.

rhhardin said...

I don't think breasts are as big as they once were. Nobody pauses DVDs at the sex scenes.

Jacques Derrida has a book issued with a dozen square holes punched through it. I have it somewhere.

Context is everything when there are holes in the pages.

Chora L Works. You won't find that on Kindle.