“When you’re 27, there’s no tomorrow,” Mr. Choffel said. “At 42, today’s tomorrow. Going home to kids and a family, you’re creating something. You’re building something.”
He is not alone in his increasing distaste for a life that many married men would say they envy. With the freedom has come certain costs: isolation, regret and the feeling that, although you may still feel 25 in your heart, your knees are starting to ache and the years are slipping by fast....
January 7, 2016
New York men who want to get married.
The NYT discovers a trend!
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32 comments:
The NYT discovers a trend - sloppy grammar!
THE OLD: “When you are 27, there is no tomorrow,” Mr. Choffel said. “At 42, today is tomorrow. Going home to kids and a family, you are creating something; you are building something.”
THE NEW: “When you’re 27, there’s no tomorrow,” Mr. Choffel said. “At 42, today’s tomorrow. Going home to kids and a family, you’re creating something. You’re building something.”
You know, there's a reason why societies around the world and throughout history have promoted marriage and family.
Most people aren't unique. Most women want to settle down and raise the kids. Most men want to come home to a wife and family. Yet the left insists on pushing the idea that marriage and family are a prison, monogamy is oppressive, and settling down is preventing people from living the FABULOUS life of the elite. And they leave millions of men and women miserable because of it.
Eventually, the Gods of the Copybook Headings catch up, and the Church is there as well to point out "I told you so."
Well, there's that whole frivorce and economic rape thing going on. Not to mention "starter" husbands. Yes, men want to get married. But not to a 35 year old "carousel" rider. That's where the problem lies. Fertility. Young women are the best mothers.....if they're not rabid feminists.....oh yeah......they're not going to have children anyways, right? Marriage 2.0 is a scam. Most young men are aware of that. As for the guy in the article, well, he'll be plundered by and by.....by a woman who has to "find" herself, with his money, of course.
"By all means, marry! If you get a good wife you will become happy. If you get a bad one you will become a philosopher." - Socrates.
I must admit, there are times when a woman in the back of the White Van with No Windows isn't enough.
It might indeed be sweeter to have a woman say "Don't let me go," rather than "Please let me go, Mister, I promise I won't tell anyone, I swear."
To have Love grow like Flowers in a Garden, rather than digging yet another lonely Hole with a shovel in the cold damp Earth.
To feel the warm caress of fingertips, rather than the cold fingertips in the Ziploc Bag in the back of the Refrigerator.
To shop for blankets for a shared bed, rather than a leak-proof tarp that will only be used once.
To admire her winning smile, rather than pulling teeth loose with pliers to prevent identification.
To see a woman's eyes light up, without the use of jumper cables.
To place a special necklace around her neck, rather than wrapping that neck with her own panties.
To tie the Knot of Marriage, rather than the knot of the Rope binding her wrists and ankles. And the Duct Tape. You can never have enough Duct Tape.
Alas, there is no room for Romance in the back of the White Van with No Windows: it is a Lonely Life.
I am Laslo.
I got married back in the 1980's at 36. As one of my friends said: "That's like catching the kickoff in your own end zone, running 99 yards and fumbling the ball." On the other hand I'm catching the overnight sleeper train from Florida to NYC so I can ice skate in Central Park with my wonderful daughter and my current sig other. We'll call it a push.
A good wife is a good thing in so many ways. Too bad Bill Clinton never found him one. He sure auditioned thousands.
Metrosexual spinsters
Men can't have it all either, it seems.
They interview very hard-working men. Work doesn't give you everything.
A consequence of the failure to establish a purpose in life.
This should be the highest priority in a child's education and socialization, but in modern times the most neglected. We all need to have some idea of the purpose of existence.
The result is often disastrous. Millions of wasted, futile, insignificant lives. The biggest losers are women, who often drift until they can no longer be mothers. In all these towering office blocks there are hundreds of well dressed, accomplished women with a usually well suppressed sense of loss. What on the outside seems a prosperous downtown hides a tragic, calamitous, even genocidal reality.
Katt Williams has a great line about single vs married. It goes something like, "Single people think they are the shit. And we ARE the shit...as long as we're out partying. But come home to that lonely kitchen...PLEASE LORD JESUS, CAN'T YOU SEND ME SOMEONE???"
:)
So many men withdrew from family and marriage because of the destruction wrought by you and your feminist sisters, Althouse. The central lie of your life, feminism, caused this destruction of family and marriage.
You didn't learn your lesson.
You doubled down on gay marriage.
Like all social engineers, you cannot perceive that your social engineering is the cause of the problem you're trying to solve.
The people interviewed seem to be all of a type - New York PR/admin/fashion/media characters. It seems rather parochial.
You can't get an apartment in the greater NYC metro area without two incomes.
#MysterySolved.
Ol Laslo is channeling the Hillside Strangler from Los Angeles--circa `1988-1992. Actually Laslo that's some of your better material--but it's still ugly.
As for the dudes who delayed marriage and now regret it---marriage at any age is a great adventure--and some great adventures run straight off a cliff into catastrophe. I think a truly successful marriage is just dumb luck---some folks make the right choice, others don't.
One can argue that if you wait until you are a bit older, you'll be wiser when you make that choice. But then if my Momma had wheels she would have been a trolley car. So I don't think that older is necessarily wiser.
Name five.
The major national men's rights group, composed of thousands of men burned by Althouse's lie. .
Sorry you don't like the fag hag shit. It's the truth. A fag hag is a two faced woman obsessed with self-interest. A fag hag is also a sexual liar, disguising her own peculiar sexual peccadilloes as some sort of cause.
Fag hag is precisely what Althouse is.
By the way, I was briefly involved with NCFM. I got the hell out because, even within a men's rights organization, men were always at one another's throats over chivalry. Half the membership went nuts (just like you) any time anybody spoke clearly and sensibly about the failings of women.
If you want to see male chivalry turned inside out in the most evil way possible, observe Meade.
Hey Laslo do you think you could pump the brakes on the serial rapist-murder shtick, maybe? The Nazi girlfriend & extreme Mad Men sexist stuff was kinda funny, at least.
Name five.
You can start with me.
Skeptical Voter said...
I think a truly successful marriage is just dumb luck---some folks make the right choice, others don't.
I find this attitude odd ( and unfortunately quite common. ) How long were you dating before you got married, and what where you doing during that time? You should have had plenty of opportunity to learn what kind of person they are:
How do they treat you?
How do they treat their family?
How do they treat other people?
Are they conscientious about their work/school responsibilities?
Are they financially responsible?
What are their long-term plans regarding work, kids, etc?
What influence do they have on you? Are you a better or worse person when you are with them?
Too many people seem to see dating as about finding someone who puts out on a regular basis, who looks good, and who won't nag you about spending every weekend smoking pot with your friends.
Also, bust your ass working to make sure you are the kind of person that your ideal spouse would want to marry. And once you are married, bust your ass to keep being that kind of person.
Yes, it takes effort. But it is well worth it.
Full Disclosure: I got married at 22, and have been happily married for more than 25 years now.
Work doesn't give you everything
I understand your broad point, but if you're doing it right makes a beautiful life possible: My "everything" is coming home at the end of the day to a warm home to kiss my beautiful wife and spend time with her and our two wonderful, interesting kids.
The Peter Pan Syndrome fostered by our liberal culture is remedied through confrontation with the hard, objective facts of natural imperatives. And to think, this evolution all started with the union of two solitary cells. The mysteries of humanity unfold while traveling a long and meandering path.
For every lonely guy out there who's kicking himself for not getting married, there's a lonely guy out there writing a monthly check to someone he hates and kicking himself for getting married.
I'm not sure what would have to change to fix marriage, but at this point the legal and cultural environment make it a pretty dumb thing for men to do from a green eyeshades perspective.
" is remedied through confrontation with the hard, objective facts of natural imperatives"
Unfortunately, too often it takes too long for people to understand the facts.
And then its too late. Human beings have just a short time to figure things out, and if that doesn't happen fast enough, there is no remedy.
That's why correct education and socialization are vital. Done right it saves a lot of time that would be wasted through "confrontation with the hard, objective facts".
Is it some kind of iron law of nature that everyone has to be married? I never married, and don't regret it. What a horrible person I must be!
William Chadwick:
No, there is no "iron law" or requirement for every man and woman to be paired. As with many dysfunctional behaviors, perpetual bachelorhood can be tolerated when it is exhibited by a minority of the population and does not represent a progressive (i.e. monotonic change) condition. However, it would be literally suicide to normalize or promote this behavior in the general population.
buwaya:
Exactly. The criteria for normalization versus tolerance has been well known intuitively if not consciously since time immemorial. The paradox of civilization may explain the inevitable progress of "The Peter Pan Syndrome" and other dysfunctional orientations and behaviors in liberal, decadent societies and classes.
I'm not sure what would have to change to fix marriage
A proper reconciliation of men and women's rights with natural imperatives, free from the influence and corruption of special interests (e.g. clinical cannibals including Planned Parenthood, female chauvinists, pro-choice cults).
If the guy has money, a good prenup is in order. The French have a good rough measure of what the age of the wife ought to be: half the man's age plus seven years; not a bad rule as long as the man doesn't get too far ahead of himself such as a 60 year old guy with a 37 year old woman. Still after a certain age the club life gets old.
MGTOW
No, there is no "iron law" or requirement for every man and woman to be paired. As with many dysfunctional behaviors, perpetual bachelorhood can be tolerated when it is exhibited by a minority of the population . . ." Why "dysfunctional" and not just a matter of individual preference? Logic and facts, please, not religious dogma.
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