October 19, 2015

At the Autumn Mindfulness Café...

P1140965

... you're not the only one here.

29 comments:

surfed said...

This makes two of us...

Freeman Hunt said...

Another exhibit in the case that artificial intelligence is not so great:

Drinking in America: Our Secret History
$20.52

NEOPlex 3' x 5' Flag - "A Spliff A Day"
$6.95


Amazon is offering these as things it thinks I might want to buy.

Humperdink said...

So I am perusing an article about the 8 Ivy League universities/colleges and discover each has a school motto.
>Brown University: In God We Hope.
>Columbia: In Thy light shall we see the light.
>Cornell: I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study.
>Dartmouth College: The voice of one crying in the wilderness.
>Harvard: Truth.
>Penn: Laws without morals are useless.
>Princeton: Under God's power she flourishes.
>Yale: Light and truth.

tim in vermont said...

I watched Die Hard again the other day. The only character in that movie who does not do one astonishingly stupid thing after another is Hans Gruber. His only mistake is that inevitable failing of movie villains, to not pull the trigger immediately. I guess we know a lot more about dealing with terrorism than we did when that movie was made, but still, it is still a fun movie.

Laslo Spatula said...

Freeman Hunt said...

"Another exhibit in the case that artificial intelligence is not so great"


Ever since I wrote that fake review for the twelve-inch yellow polyurethane Dong Amazon has avalanched me with Dong ads.

Black Dong with realistic veins? Here's an ad.

Black dong with realistic veins and simulated canker sores? Here's an ad.

Green Dong smooth and curved with shaved nubbles at the base? Here's an ad.

Red Mega-Dong the circumference of a can of motor oil? Here's an ad.

Tiny Pale Pink Dong for who knows why? Here's an ad.

Look: the chick only gave the twelve-inch yellow polyurethane Dong two stars.


Focus on the Ball Gag.


I am Laslo.




Laslo Spatula said...

Amazon:

"Red Mega-Dong"

Three-point-five stars.

Review:

"I was drunk with a girlfriend of mine and we went on Amazon to find the thickest dong there was. By far Red Mega-Dong was the girth-iest.

As I said, we were drunk, so I ordered it on my mother's credit card (Sorry Mom!)

It came in the mail and was thicker than my thigh.

So I drank a little and tried to put it up my ass, but no dice.

I then smoked a spliff, added some lube, and it still wasn't even close to making an entrance: it was like trying to put a bowling ball in a Pringles can.

Then I took some Molly and a little Coke and -- Wham -- it slid right in!

They should tell you that in the reviews: Molly, Coke and Lube.

Anyway, my legs would not stop shaking so I tried to remove it, but it wouldn't budge.

I took deep breaths like my Yoga Instructor teaches but Red Mega-Dong would not come out of my ass.

Desperate, I called my girlfriend, and she came over, but --even after tugging and tugging and twisting -- she couldn't get it out of my ass.

We called the Fire Department, and I was mortified: obviously some cute buff Fireman would arrive and have to remove Red Mega-Dong from my ass.

Except the responder was a big black woman who just rolled her eyes, shook her head, and pulled Red Mega-Dong out with pliers.

I'm not sure if this experience was a 2 or a 5, so I gave it a 3.5.


I am Laslo.

Moneyrunner said...

They said it couldn't be done, but Hungary began building a fence in July. It cost $106 million to build the 175 mile long fence.

With this feat of extreme engineering, Hungary becomes the most technologically advanced country in the history of humankind, for building something (quickly) that it's just impossible to build.

If squint and look into the distance you may be able to make it out.

Or not. After all, this is America.

Laslo Spatula said...

Amazon:

"Tiny Pale Pink Dong"

One Star.

Review:

Okay, okay: I was drunk when I ordered this. I figured -- "Tiny Pale Pink Dong" -- it must do SOMETHING special, right? Like maybe it vibrated like a hummingbird.

But No: "Tiny Pale Pink Dong" doesn't vibrate.

It doesn't really do anything, as far as I can tell. It is so small and thin that I don't think it can even be Chinese. Do the Chinese have pink dicks? I don't know.

Why the Hell do the makers even make these? The only thing I can figure is that it's meant to be a timid twelve-year-old girl's First Dildo. Talk about teaching Disappointment.

Don't get me wrong: I am not against twelve-year-old girls having their First Dildo, but the Dong should be bigger than that of an infant.

One star, Amazon: One star.


I am Laslo.

rhhardin said...

I left our high school nerd hero after he met the cute porn star, started cutting classes, was seen with her in the principal's swimming pool, probably reducing his chances of winning the high morals scholarship to Georgetown, and apparently was aiming to end the relationship.

It's rated R so there are tits somewhere but who has the time.

On to the next romantic comedy DVD in the box.

Spend a little money on writers, guys.

rhhardin said...

I watched Notting Hill again last night. It's pretty good.

Take the pretty actress as a woman in general. There's the structure.

The guy is pretty constant; it's the woman that realizes something.

Laslo Spatula said...

Amazon:

"Black dong with realistic veins and simulated canker sores"

Four stars.

Review:

Maybe it's weird, but I always wondered what it would feel like to be fucked by a big black man with an STD, like AIDS or Syphilis or Mega-Herpes.

Knowing that I could not be the only one with such a desire, I figured I'd look it up on Amazon, and there it was: "Black dong with realistic veins and simulated canker sores."

I was a little tremulous at first -- who knows what these internet companies do with your data -- but I bought it, anyway, and am so very glad I did!!!

It is EXACTLY what I always wondered it would feel like to be fucked by a big black man with an STD, like AIDS or Syphilis or Mega-Herpes.

The attention to detail on the sores is nothing less than amazing, AND it is twelve inches long!!!

Heck, the Only Problem is that it may have spoiled me for the Real Thing. Ha!!!

Four Stars.


I am Laslo.

rhhardin said...

Primitive border fence pic.

Laslo Spatula said...

Amazon:

"Green Dong smooth and curved with shaved nubbles at the base."

Three stars.

Review:

I have always been a fan of Science Fiction -- so much that I have a tattoo of Marvin the Martian on my leg.

My favorite Science Fiction Reads tend to be those about aliens visiting us, and then probing a Select Few. I am one of the 'Select Few' of course -- after all, it is MY fantasy!

So I was on Amazon looking at dongs when I saw "Green Dong smooth and curved with shaved nubbles at the base" and I thought: THAT sounds like an alien cock probe if there ever was one!

As an alien cock probe I can tell you that the features are exquisite, except for one thing: the nubbles at the base.

This makes it seem like the alien shaved his pubic hair or something, and aliens DON'T have pubic hair, aliens are smooth all over with nothing approaching that of a nubble.

That aside, it makes for a wonderful tool to aid in Sci-Fi Fantasy -- so much that I got two, so I can be 'Double-Probed'.

Would be Five Stars, but only Three because of the nubble issue.


I am Laslo.

walter said...

This room should proffer a trigger warning..and a revolver.

rhhardin said...

When people with a dog want to be alone, they take the dog.

Coupe said...

I read David McCullough's The Wright Brothers last Sunday. It's a fast read. I seem to have learned most of this stuff years before, in several books, but McCullough does dig deeper into some of the personalities.

The sister Katherine is such a doll. How she never got married out of college is a mystery. Wilbur who had been in France for almost a year knew absolutely no French other than the basics. Katherine quickly begins to study the language, and when they move to Pau, France to train the French pilots, she is giving speeches in French.

The there is that mysterious event, where in her early 50's, she marries the man she met in college. His first wife having died. Orville disowns her. Never has anything to do with her until his much older brother convinces him to see her before she dies. He arrives in time to be with her as she dies of pneumonia.

I keep wondering if they did not have an incestuous relationship. Why else would a brother hate his sister for getting married, and taking it so personally.

McCullough never goes there...

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Birkel said...

The Ted Cruz-free zone at Althouse is refreshing.

Michael K said...

The Wright Brothers were an amazing pair with the sister, as you said, a major character. I had read a previous book about them but Mccullough does an excellent job. In one of Ernest Gann's books he mentions an old pilot he knew whose pilots' license was signed by Orville. If you like flying history, Gann is good, even the novels.

Nichevo said...

Birk, bro, use your words. Wanna talk Cruz, talk Cruz.

As a rule I think nobody is gonna get an airing here now unless it involves an attack. All GOP coverage, even Trump, seems to have vanished from Althouse radar. Hopefully this is a good sign.

Ann Althouse said...

Freeman, "Drinking in America: Our Secret History" is a book I blogged about here very recently. "A Spliff A Day" isn't something that ever appeared in the text of this blog but it is in a photograph from Saturday, on a flag. That means that Amazon widget sees what's in writing in a photograph. Pretty impressive.

Scott said...

I'm finishing up an engagement at a Big 4 accounting firm next month.

A surprising thing I found was that when you get promoted to Partner, you are expected to retire at age 60. And you can't sue for age discrimination because, as a Partner, you would be suing yourself.

So it's a big, rich institution with a constant churn of employees, sort of like a McDonald's for people with six-figure incomes. I find it sort of creepy. I had a chance meeting with one of the recently retired partners, a very nice guy who was brought back from retirement as a temporary management consultant for a project. He was the kind of positive, engaging manager that gives you immediate confidence in his insights. And yet he seemed a little bewildered that he was put out to pasture so soon.

As I approach 60, and my age makes me less attractive as somebody else's employee, I hope I can build some kind of business that can sustain me and the people and causes I care about. Yet I feel ill-prepared for the task...

Ignorance is Bliss said...

That means that Amazon widget sees what's in writing in a photograph.

I would assume that Blogger is the one analyzing the images, and passing that information on to advertisers. It would be too inefficient for the widget to do that sort of text recognition every time the page is served.

MadisonMan said...

I'll be watching my ads now and report back to see if Laslo's writings make a difference. (laugh).

I usually don't even look at the ads. They're visual clutter on my browser space. Rather like the flashing speed signs all around town. You see them once or twice and then they recede into the background, but by Gum, the City thinks They're Doing Something about the speeders in town by putting them up! (Police can't be bothered to pull over speeders, of course).

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Scott said...

As I approach 60, and my age makes me less attractive as somebody else's employee, I hope I can build some kind of business that can sustain me and the people and causes I care about. Yet I feel ill-prepared for the task...

Yeah, it's gonna be tough to break into porn at that age. Talk about age discrimination. Youth really is wasted on the young.

Scott said...

"Yeah, it's gonna be tough to break into porn at that age."

Not really. You would be surprised at how much gay porn is available featuring old bald fat guys. It's a small but lively sub-market.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Now I'm sorry I even brought up the subject.

Coupe said...

Michael K said...If you like flying history, Gann is good, even the novels.

I can't remember the title now, but it was an old book, that told of a man who went to France to be an ambulance driver, but instead heard that they needed pilot volunteers.

So this is the first I heard about Pau, France. Where they trained pilots who had mastered the basics and were then given fighter skills before being sent to the front.

When I read about Pau in the Wright Brothers book, it becomes a little bit amazing that just six years before the war, Wilbur is amazing everyone for the first time in how to fly an airplane, just like you would ride a bicycle.

I thought it was interesting how the French taught pilots to fly. The first plane they got had the wings cut off, and their task was to go up and down the field in a straight line. This task was so difficult to master, that most students washed out, and the ones who could do it, got the next plane that had enough power to get up about 20 feet and they would go up and down the field, landing at each end and turning around, and taking off again. By this time they were ready to solo, and learn how to bank into turns. Finally given a really nice airplane they studied navigation, and had to fly to three airports and return. Upon return they were graduated and either sent on to bombers, observation, or fighters, based on their skills.

It was interesting they had no dual-seat planes with an instructor. There weren't enough instructors, so they couldn't train that way. The student basically given oral instruction and set off onto the field to practice all day until they figured it out, or were sent packing.

Big Mike said...

The AI behind the ads on althouse.blogspot.com is utterly lousy. I am getting JC Penney ads for men's underwear after I placed an order with JC Penney for underwear. They're wasting their time and screen real estate (if I wanted to buy more underwear I'd have added the packages to my order) and irritating me (which is not, or at any rate should not be) one goal of their advertising.

I find Amazon's AI to be pretty good. When it sees me scroll through books on politics, the next time I connect it offers me additional titles to look at ("recommendations based on your browsing history") and what I find fascinating is that they aren't just books on politics but books from a conservative perspective. It's smart enough to know that I have no interest in books by Hillary Clinton or other left wing loonies (just as I imagine that people looking at books by Clinton are not sent links to Glenn Reynolds). Now that's good AI.