August 6, 2015

"In the wake of the scandal, Chelsea did exactly what her parents had conditioned her to do: swallow..."

"... the pain and soldier on."

From the ludicrous Vanity Fair article "How Chelsea Clinton Took Charge of Clintonworld."

57 comments:

damikesc said...

So when are we "allowed" to unload on the most boring person on the planet? I mean, she's "off limits" in the way only Dem spawn are.

traditionalguy said...

Why would anybody spend the time to read a narrative about the travails of heroic Chelsea Clinton?

Brando said...

You know, when they wanted Chelsea to be "off limits" I figured this was a good thing all around, because she's so boring and uninteresting. But if the fawning press is going to try and prop her up like she's accomplished anything other than simply raking in cash from her parents' ill-gotten influence, then maybe it's time to unload. Put her back under the rock, please!

Skipper said...

Who needs parents when the media is there to groom you?

Achilles said...

traditionalguy said...
"Why would anybody spend the time to read a narrative about the travails of heroic Chelsea Clinton?"

Because the left idolizes aristocracies. Everything about the left is creating a class of betters that manages the plebes and takes care of them. Chelsea was born rich and powerful, therefore she is to be venerated in the eyes of the left.

Matt Sablan said...

I always feel bad for Chelsea Clinton. I think she wants nothing more than to be left alone to do her wonky/political work in peace and quiet, and then her parents find some new way to throw her into the middle of things.

Jim in St Louis said...

"Before she could read, her parents read to her from the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. At the age of five, she wrote a letter to Ronald Reagan questioning his planned, much-disputed visit to a German military cemetery that contained some Nazi graves.

Todd S. Purdum, who then covered President Clinton for The New York Times (and is now a Vanity Fair contributing editor), recalls Bill’s mother, Virginia Kelley, showing Chelsea’s letter to him. “Dear President Reagan, I have seen The Sound of Music. The Nazis don’t look very nice to me. Please don’t go to their cemetary [sic].”

Wow. I made it to the 19th paragraph before I had my 'gag me' moment.

Laslo Spatula said...

"Chelsea did exactly what her parents had conditioned her to do: swallow..."

Conditioned to swallow.

Um.

I am Laslo.

PB said...

I used to feel bad for Chelsea, but she's embraced her parent's culture of corruption, completely. No public service short of the Senate for her. She's entitled.

furious_a said...


Spit, swallow, but don't get any on the blue dress.

SteveR said...

That any one cares is amazing. Uninteresting and corrupt, her mere presence in the spotlight lessens the culture. Go away and be a mommy, do something that actually helps, you don't need money.

Sydney said...

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I had the same thought as Laslo.

YoungHegelian said...

Is there someone in the public eye who has proven herself to be more of a nullity than Chelsea Clinton? She was handed two high end "cush" jobs & failed miserably at both of them. So, now, she's back working the family store. That really strikes me as "soldiering on".

Don't you wonder just how it is that journalists work themselves up to do print versions of unnatural acts in public like this? I remember hearing an interview of Attorney General Eric Holder on NPR some time ago by some female reporter, and it was just obvious she was "smitten". I was just amazed that the interview ended without the sound of slurping & Holder muttering "More tongue". I'm not just trying to do a poor Laslo imitation here. It was just that awful!

rehajm said...

The parallels between the 'accomplishments' of her and her mother are striking.

JAORE said...

What an astonishing thing. The author and the various editors thought.... what? That this was a plus for Chelsea? That this would be taken as a realistic look at her life? That this would help Hillary?

Someone help me here. Surely they were not going for make ourselves and Chelsea objects of ridicule.....

Bill said...

I see what you did there.

furious_a said...

Nothing says "Fighting Income Inequality" like Derek Lam blouse ($890), Stella McCartney trousers ($750), Bulgari necklace ($5,295), Tiffany & Co. bracelets ($5,000), Trollbeads bangle ($299), Garland Collection ring ($920), Halleh ring ($195), Brian Atwood pumps ($260).

Chelsea does look fabulous.

The Godfather said...

Chelsea makes the Kardashians look accomplished and classy.

But "swallow" is a low blow even for Vanity Fair.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

It continues to amaze me how utterly stupid and vapid our supposed "betters" in the media are.

William said...

That was the kind of enjambment that Laslo feeds on.......If reporters wanted to do Chelsea a favor they would treat her with benign neglect. If you write anything too laudatory it just highlights the fact that Chelsea is ordinary in all her dimensions.....,I actually think her banality is a kind of triumph. She was a gawky kid who had to spend her gawkiest and most self conscious years in the public spotlight. The fact that her parents were undergoing some embarrassing scandals must have hurt worse than acne. The fact that she's not doing drugs or performing weird sex acts with Lena Dunham is a triumph of the will.

furious_a said...

Chelsea's mother-in-law cast the tie-breaking vote for Pa Clinton's 1993 tax increases and promptly lost her seat the next election.

Meanwhile, hubby's hedge fund is in the ditch: "Since its founding, Eaglevale has spent 27 of its 34 months in operation below its “high-water mark,” a term that describes whether a Day One investor is in the black.

Good thing Chelsea's got the Foundation gig.

Susan said...

It would have never guessed there would come a time when Laslo Spatula and I would have the same thought upon reading a headline.

Merciful God in heaven I feel cheap and used now.

Unknown said...

Brave girl. Soldiering on so bravely. The Clintons never faced an ounce of pain they didn't bring on themselves, and all for something no more high minded than money. I'm not sure they're even interested in wielding power for any reason other than cashing in on it.

'TreHammer said...

Blogger Matthew Sablan said...

I always feel bad for Chelsea Clinton. I think she wants nothing more than to be left alone to do her wonky/political work in peace and quiet, and then her parents find some new way to throw her into the middle of things.

8/6/15, 3:20 PM

The phrase "pimped out" comes to mind.

walter said...

Doesn't even garner an anal sex with Chelsea story from Laslo...she really IS boring.

"her parents find some new way to throw her into the middle of things."
Nooooo..not on a network!! Nooooooo!!!
Maybe that's why she did so little on air for that pay.

Alex said...

Spit, don't swallow.

lgv said...

I now think she is worse than her parents. She is now dependent on the shake down money.

Nichevo said...

Of course Bill taught Chelsea to swallow. I'm sure he copped her cherry.

What, too soon?

damikesc said...

Is there someone in the public eye who has proven herself to be more of a nullity than Chelsea Clinton? She was handed two high end "cush" jobs & failed miserably at both of them. So, now, she's back working the family store. That really strikes me as "soldiering on".

Kinda like mom.

Chelsea does look fabulous.

Don't bastardize the phrase "fabulous"

holdfast said...

Maiden name Swallows. Married name, Spitz.

James Pawlak said...

Who was advised to swallow?

donald said...

That was the kind of enjambment that Laslo feeds on.......If reporters wanted to do Chelsea a favor they would treat her with benign neglect. If you write anything too laudatory it just highlights the fact that Chelsea is ordinary in all her dimensions.....,I actually think her banality is a kind of triumph. She was a gawky kid who had to spend her gawkiest and most self conscious years in the public spotlight. The fact that her parents were undergoing some embarrassing scandals must have hurt worse than acne. The fact that she's not doing drugs or performing weird sex acts with Lena Dunham is a triumph of the will.

I don't know that that's a fact at all, and neither do you.

Skeptical Voter said...

Papa Clinton expects young women to swallow. It's the family way.

John henry said...

Lazlo, I think your work is done here.

John Henry

Skeptical Voter said...

And as for Chelsea "soldiering on". Hasn't it been rather clearly established that the Hildebeest aka "The First Woman To Break The Glass Ceiling at 1600 Pennsylvania" really doesn't like soldiers. Or Marines. Or the Navy? She wanted them to appear at the White House in civilian clothes because the sight of uniforms distresses her. Of course if she's in a crowd of people all dressed in civilian clothes it makes Hillary harder to find when she and Brian Williams are walking on a Bosnian airport and "braving sniper fire".

And since Chelsea is the true fruit of a poisonous tree, I assume she doesn't like soldiers either. Bad verb choice there for the writer of that piece of trash.

Big Mike said...

I just knew Laslo would seize upon the juxtaposition of Chelsea's parent and the word "swallow".

walter said...

Seize? That was spoonfed.

Brian said...

Sex, Sex, Sex - that's all Althouse thinks about.

David said...

Last senence: "As a source close to the Clintons points out, “The ultimate foundation is the U.S. government, so why would you toil with a foundation on the side?”"

Their world view in a nutshell--the world's greatest democracy is a "foundation."

tim in vermont said...

Can we use Rush's "first dog" joke now?

Ron Snyder said...

Yep, and be damned with morality, ethics or a sense of duty to the Country. Clintons First, Clintons Last, Clintons always.

Bay Area Guy said...

Chelsea Clinton - born on Third Base, thinks she hit a triple:)

Sam L. said...

They do "obsequious" magnificently, do they not?

Guildofcannonballs said...

How amazing, grammar works!

Who knew?

Hey let's go eat out, Grandma.

Hey let's go eat out Grandma.

Next up: I'ma gonna start with the Rick Rolls up in here.

CWJ said...

Matthew Sablan wrote -


"I always feel bad for Chelsea Clinton. I think she wants nothing more than to be left alone to do her wonky/political work in peace and quiet, and then her parents find some new way to throw her into the middle of things."

IDK, It sure seems to be personally quite profitable for her, and I don't see her pushing away the awards and accolades tossed her way. The NBC deal in particular seemed pretty Clintonesque.

Sprezzatura said...

I was too young to notice the Reagan-visits-Nazi-cemetery thing, when it happened.

But, after using the Google, it was interesting to see the tick-tock of the Regan administration:

http://www.nytimes.com/1985/04/19/us/reagan-likens-nazi-war-dead-to-concentration-camp-victims.html

Presumably it is only the evil, biased NYT that makes Reagan and his administration look incompetent. Making stuff up. Screwing stuff up. That could never happen.

Laslo Spatula said...

I'm getting the sense that a lot of people have an Inner Laslo that they try to keep at bay.

That only works for a little while.


I am Laslo.

Drago said...

PBandJ_LeDouanier: "I was too young to notice the Reagan-visits-Nazi-cemetery thing, when it happened."

Because it never happened.

Reagan visited Bitburg, where about 45 Nazi's were buried. But that doesn't make it a "Nazi-cemetery".

In the same way that over 200 soldiers buried at Arlington National Cemetery doesn't make Arlington a confederate-cemetery.

But thanks for playing. Nice to see you keep trying.

Drago said...

Over 200 confederate soldiers buried at Arlington.

virgil xenophon said...

Carson just got of THE BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT!: "I'm the first surgeon to remove half of a brain, although if you go to Washington you would swear that several people have beat me to it!" ROTFLAMO!!

rcommal said...

Chelsea was born in 1980. Monica was born in 1973. O what a difference, that 7 years!!

tim in vermont said...

The German rank and file were victims. Victims of a government that made the rights of the state sovereign over the rights of the individual. A govt that controlled almost everything they knew or heard and showed up with guns they were not shy about using for all dissenters. It is the classic story of a leader who believes that the state should be supreme for the benefit of the people turns totalitarian dictator. We all know the story arc, we saw it with Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot too.

His wreath was a gesture of good will to a valued ally. Maybe he thought that now that the German people, most of whom hadn't even been born yet, and probably to a man had nothing to do with decisions that had been made, had been ostracized enough for the actions of their parents?

If RR had put a wreath on Goebbels's grave, if there is such a place, or the site of Hitler's bunker, then it would have been different.

But we only need the slightest excuse to call a Republican a Nazi right?

SJL said...

Laslo - everyone knows who you are based on your post. It is not needed and very annoying for you to say "I am laslo" after every post. Get over yourself.

Laslo Spatula said...

@ SJL

I disagree with your premise.


I am Laslo.

mikee said...

SJL, look at Laslo's self-promotion the same as Groot's spoken lines in Guardians of the Galaxy.

Each time, "I am Groot" means something the same, and simultaneously, something different. "I am Laslo" means nothing, and everything, too.

That, and it lets you know you are at the end of the comment, a perfect Lasloian coda to each perfect comment. In case you were having trouble with that.

Try his blog, if you want more Laslo and less "I am Laslo."

Heck, if you want annoying, the anti-robot picture matching thing for comments here thinks a calzone is bread.

Kyzer SoSay said...

@ SJL - Let Laslo be Laslo. As far as I'm concerned, he's a national treasure.

Interesting,not crazy said...

Kyzernick said...

@ SJL - Let Laslo be Laslo. As far as I'm concerned, he's a national treasure.
8/7/15, 11:04 AM


Yep, King of the Hershey Highway, Prince of the PoopChute. Ambassador of Analsex.