July 9, 2015

Thanks for licking the doughnut, Ariana Grande.

"Ariana Grande and her boyfriend walk into a California doughnut shop. While the employee walks away from the counter, they lick some doughnuts set out on the counter and laugh about it. When the employee comes back with a tray of doughnuts, Grande says disdainfully, 'What is the f— is that? I hate Americans. I hate America.'"

Now, most people are taking shots at Arianna. With good reason, of course. But I'm not going to pile on. I'm only posting because I see another angle, one that's not getting attention.

The doughnut shop put big trays full of doughnuts out, on top of the glass case, at mouth level, where they will tantalize and be accessible to all sorts of people, including those with low impulse control and children (in arms) and other childish individuals. It's easy to see — in the now-famous security footage — how the placement of the doughnuts leads to playful foolery that escalates from "Mmmm, I want" to "I could just bite that" to "Go ahead! Do it!" and "I dare you!" And then some naughty girl licks it and her boyfriend laughs and laughs. If that happened once — we caught Ariana — it happened more than once. I'm glad the weakness in doughnut shop sanitation has been exposed. Now, quit putting them out on top of the case. It should be a health code violation. Even without anyone licking, they're still breathing on them.

As for "I hate Americans. I hate America." Yes, you can trash her. But she said that as a joke, and just as I bet she's not the first person to lick doughnuts, I'll bet she's not the first person to use the line "I hate Americans, I hate America" as a comic expression of minor irritation. The "What the fuck is that?" preface indicates, I think, that she believed the latest tray of doughnuts was so inferior that it was funny to act like they weren't even doughnuts. The followup "I hate Americans, I hate America" is, in this view, over-the-top faux-drama, similar to saying "Everything has gone to hell in this country," just because the latest batch of doughnuts isn't the kind you like. It's a type of humor. You had to be there, in the setting, as the young lady or her boyfriend, having some fun goofing around.

91 comments:

Bobber Fleck said...

At least they didn't chew the donuts into the shape of a gun. There would be nothing funny about that.

Laslo Spatula said...

"And then some naughty girl licks it and her boyfriend laughs and laughs"

Althouse is toying with me.

I am Laslo.

kcom said...

I say revoke her citizenship. No one's going to out mob me. It's the new America!

Thank you, lefties, for teaching tolerance.

Monkeyboy said...

Ace of Spades pretty much summed up my opinion and it's similar to yours.

My thoughts:
Not too concerned about the "I hate America"
Licking donuts was a party foul and she should pay for them and apologize to the people who now have to make more. (Making extra work for others is an absolute peeve of mine.)
Her "I was triggered by images of fat children" statement was crap.

Having said that I am completely against social media hate mobs and judgment pr0n so I'm not going to pile either.

bbkingfish said...

Cheap trick.

tim in vermont said...

including those with low impulse control

Like Democrats. We shouldn't tempt Democrats to do stupid things. After all, "they cain't hep it..." as Ann Richards used to say.

rhhardin said...

Urban dictionary gets licking the donut wrong.

Maybe only males would know about it.

tim in vermont said...

I would be all for giving everybody a pass for inartful language. That's not the game. You can't give one side, Hillary supporters, a pass, and excoriate any minor slip by the other side.


"Make them live by their own rules." - Saul Alinsky

Bob Ellison said...

"It should be a health code violation."

The doughnut shop should be required to keep the food in a steel safe, behind longing eyes and noses and tongues.

There oughtta be a law!

Virgil Hilts said...

I hate all of the mob stuff that goes on when people make simple mistakes or say something dumb or poorly worded (Dr. Hunt), or express an opinion that a good chunk of the public agrees with even if not PC. But this behavior is not of that sort. Decent civilized people, even if drunk or depressed or sleep-deprived, do not engage in this type of behavior - licking donuts, spitting on food, urinating into a punch bowl. This is akin to the infamous acts of dog poop girl and I for one applaud the brave internet for spreading the word on the vileness of these two jerks.

madAsHell said...

The headline should have said, "Pop tart licks doughnut".

Bob Ellison said...

madAsHell, LOL.

TosaGuy said...

I do not know of this person and I don't have a problem with that.

Coupe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Drill SGT said...

She deserves the abuse.

Live by the press, die by the press

Laslo Spatula said...

"I just want to lick it."

"Go ahead -- do it!"

"I just want to lick it so bad."

"Do it! I dare you."

"Do you want to see the pretty girl lick the donut?"

"Yes, I want to see the pretty girl lick the donut!"

"Do you want to see the naughty pretty girl's tongue swirling lightly against the donut's creamy pink frosting?"

"Please!"

"Do you want to see the naughty pretty girl get creamy pink frosting on her lips and watch her sensuously lick it off?"

"You're killing me! Lick the donut!"

"Oh, Little Boy wants to see naughty Little Girl lick the donut. Little Boy
might just explode if he doesn't see it..."

"Little Boy wants you to lick the damned donut!"

"Does Little Boy wish he had a donut in his pants? Does Little Boy wants me to lick HIS donut?"

"Little Boy wants it Bad!"

Does Little Boy want to see Naughty Little Girl stick her naughty pink tongue in the donut hole?"

"Yes! Yes! Do the hole! Do the hole!"

"There. See? I licked the lucky donut. Do you want me to stick out my tongue so you can see the frosting on the tip?"

"Show me -- please God, show me the frosting on your tongue!"

"Was that good for you, Little Boy?"

"You know, I thought it might've turned out to be anti-climactic and all by this point, but yes: that was worth it."

"Good for you, Little Boy. Now does Little Boy want to go with Naughty Little Girl to look at cucumbers?"


I am Laslo.

Smilin' Jack said...

Ariana is quite pretty and has an amazing voice. So I give her a pass on this.

rhhardin said...

There are 4,216,437,656,471,537,450,175 ways to populate a 13x13 chessboard on a donut with nonattacking kings. (=edge rows connected, edge columns connected)

tim maguire said...

I'm going with Virgil here, Althouse invents a lot of context to excuse the behavior, but that doesn't change the fact that the behavior is willfully disgusting and a health hazard. The donut shop should be criticized and cited for its part, but leaving food out and relying on the basic decency of the customer is a common practice.

Roughcoat said...

I like licking the donut and so does my wife.

...

What?

We're talking about donuts?

Never mind.

Kyzernick said...

Athouse minimizes it to a childish game. If they were both under 12 years old, I could maybe jive with that. They're not. Stop excusing idiots just because you agree with them politically, Althouse. That's childish.

Big Mike said...

@Althouse, would you be so "girls will be girls" about this episode if it turned out later that Ariana Grande had a disease that was transmitted by exchange of body fluids? Like Ebola?

Anonymous said...

IF gay sex hedonist Dan Savage had licked donuts instead of doorknobs, what would Althouse's position have been?

That it was the "new normal"?

Or is it the case that Savage "has a way with words" and Ariana has a great voice, so....it's all good!

As for the sanitation issue: my supermarket has an entire section of fruits and vegetables exposed to public view. I love fruit, and I have to exercise impulse control not to take a bite out of one of those succulent peaches on display.

Should the store be forced to put all that produce under glass? Should it all be handled with tongs instead of being picked up and examined for freshness?

And why is picking up and licking a donut an "impulse control" issue, when the woman did not eat the damned donut?

Alexander said...

You know what's cool? Celebrities going into places and swearing at working-class people.

Funny. I bet she votes Democrat.

Either way you spin it, she's a grade-A asshole. Either she's gotten filthy rich off the country and people she 'fucking hates', or she decides that the best place to bitch about the hoi polloi enjoying a sugary treat is in a donut shop she chose to go into in front of one of the workers. Excellent work.

Also shouldn't it be 'she *allegedly* said it as a joke'. What evidence do you have that it was made in jest?

But really, this isn't what annoys me - obnoxious celebrity being obnoxious is hardly man bites dog. What annoys me is that she was supposed to play at the All Star game.

Look, if teenage girls want to listen to Beiber or Grande or what have you, I don't care. I don't bash their music because I can't drum up enough of a fuck to bother. If it works for their audience, then bravo.

But I am sick of having them shoved in my face at venues that are clearly not for their demographic. Piss off. (Not literally, Ariana)

Ann Althouse said...

I'm not saying it was acceptable to lick the doughnut. Everyone knows it wasn't. It's not worth saying. I don't blog banalities like that.

My point is that a store should not put food out like that where it's going to get contaminated. I'm thanking Ariana Grande for bringing that problem to light.

Meade said...

LBJ would've done more than just lick the donut hole. Much more.

Of course, America never should've let LBJ be LBJ.

Ann Althouse said...

Why waste your time getting mad at Ariana Grande? Either find a way to laugh or move on.

mikee said...

In these modern days of universal video surveillance, I suspect that many, many more example of egregiously unsanitary and idiotic behavior will be recorded for posterity, perhaps to the point where civilized people will once again start believing that a private person's name should appear in the press only at their birth, for their wedding, and in their obituary.

Harumph.

Ann Althouse said...

I know what Meade is riffing on. Do you?

It's the old "Parts That Were Left Out of the Kennedy Book," by Paul Krassner.

Alexander said...

Oh I dunno, give it a few years, and saying 'everyone knows its wrong to lick food that isn't yours' will be tongue-shaming, or the oppression of Euronormative hygiene rules. Or that you have just as much right to a fraction of that donut, free of charge, as anyone and everyone else.

Whichever defense they take, I predict a 5-4 split.

Alexander said...

Why waste your time getting mad at The Confederate Flag? Either find a way to laugh or move on.

Why waste your time getting mad at Branden Eich's campaign contributions? Either find a way to laugh or move on.

Why waste your time getting mad at Donald Trump? Either find a way to laugh or move on.

We're all well aware the world doesn't work that way.

rhhardin said...

Dog owners develop entirely different ideas of hygiene.

Rick said...

Either find a way to laugh or move on.

Surely there are other options like this one:

"Make them live by their own rules." - Saul Alinsky

You have to make the accusation, so they in turn have the choice to jettison or defend her. Personally I hope they defend her since that's the proof their rules are ridiculous (progress!). But if not it shows they'll sacrifice their own to maintain the ability to attack others (Warning!).

Anonymous said...

Alexander said...
Why waste your time
to add to that list...why waste your time suing a baker because of their religious beliefs??? (and then give them a $135,000 fine and an order to shut up??) Where do we live...Russia??? Isn't there any other bakers they could have gone too? (they have baked cakes for the couple in question....just didn't want to do the wedding cake for something THEY don't agree with) FORCING people is sooo much better, don't you think!!!

Curious George said...

"Ann Althouse said...
Why waste your time getting mad at Ariana Grande? Either find a way to laugh or move on."

Tell it to the Po-Po. http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/07/09/ariana-grande-out-mlb-all-star-concert-because-wisdom-teeth-demi-lovato/

"California police said Wednesday they are investigating a video that appears to show pop superstar Ariana Grande licking doughnuts.

Police in Lake Elsinore, where the donut shop is located, say they and Riverside County public health officials were investigating the leaked video, which appears to show the 22-year-old and a man with her “maliciously lick” the doughnuts on top of a counter."

William said...

I thank Althouse for a well reasoned, considerate defense of Ariana. I, myself, have had similar issues when confronted with waitresses wearing push up bras. People are so quick to judge and so slow to allow for the minor flaws that are part of our common humanity.......On behalf of the donut shop employee, I would like to note, however, that the proper placement of donut trays is a three step procedure. The donut wrangler places the tray on top of the display case. Then she slides open the door to the display case. Then she takes the tray off the top of the display case and places the tray inside. In our zeal to fashion a defense for Ariana, we should not malign a donut store employee for their momentary distraction.

EMD said...

"The doughnut shop put big trays full of doughnuts out, on top of the glass case, at mouth level, where they will tantalize and be accessible to all sorts of people, including those with low impulse control and children (in arms) and other childish individuals."

With her amazing business acumen, Althouse should open her own doughnut shop.

tim maguire said...

"California police said Wednesday they are investigating a video that appears to show pop superstar Ariana Grande licking doughnuts.

Ariana Grande is somebody famous? I guess that's why she wasn't just arrested. The donut shop should auction off those donuts and give the proceeds to charity. Or to themselves.

Coupe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr.D said...

Ariana Grande is someone who needs to be shunned, forgotten, ignored. Her anti-Americanism is personal non grata with me and with countless others. Let her disappear into oblivion.

MadisonMan said...

“maliciously lick”

This being California, there's probably a law against malicious licking of pastries, purposeful licking of pastries, malicious licking of donuts, purposeful licking of donuts, malicious licking of baked goods and purposeful licking of baked goods. She can be charged with 6 different crimes! Awesome!

What madAsHell said at 0915. Talk about a failed opportunity!

mccullough said...

Her boyfriend looks like a loser. No sane young man would put up with her bullshit antics.

rhhardin said...

Daniel: Er, you got a little...[pokes thing off her lip] right here.
Audrey: Uh, thank you. Anyway, as I was saying, um, it has come to our attention that certain assets accumulated, uh... accumulated during the marriage have not been accounted for, so I have come to what I believe is an accurate estimate of the... of the missing...
Daniel: [tastes] Snoball.

- Laws of Attraction

tim in vermont said...

My cleaning lady represents my target audience for issues like this. All I need to say is that she said "I hate America. I hate Americans" and that she wants everybody to vote for Hillary, job done.

It's the straight on truth. I care just as much about context as your average liberal.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Pop starlet's casual anti-Americanism? Doesn't count, MoveOn you grumpy fogeys.

As a thought experiment, substitute a protected class in for America. Black people, say, or gays. "Ugh, I hate gay people, I hate gays." Hyperbolic jest, of course. MoveOn, still? Or no?

For my part I pledge to continue to buy the same amount of Ariana Grande music I normally do.

Lonetown said...

I guess licking the doughnuts are the modern equivalent of spitting in the pickle barrel, however, I'm not so sanguine and hope the doughnut shop sues for the lost business that will certainly occur. plus punitive damages.

Virgil Hilts said...

Blaming the doughnut shop owner for making the doughnuts too accessible and enticing is like blaming the sexual assault victim for wearing clothes that are too revealing and enticing. It's sad to see the # of people who are slut-shaming this doughnut shop.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

I'm still a bit confused as to what her problem was with the situation, overall. Was she surprised to find doughnuts easily available in...a doughnut shop? She blames, what, American excess or obesity or something for the fact that a doughnut shop she voluntarily entered had doughnuts available? I mean, if she goes into a bank or something and there's a plate of doughnuts sitting at the counter, sure, that's maybe worth noting, although it's still a bit of a stretch to blame America generally. But why is she surprised that a doughnut shop has doughnuts--surprised enough to essentially say "only in America, you guys!" It's nonsensical.

tim in vermont said...

I can't imagine the words "I hate <insert some group>" being at the top of my mind like that. The thought is swimming around in her head. What does that say about her?

averagejoe said...

I hate progressive democrat party members.

Mr. D said...

I'm mostly surprised that she was hanging out in the Inland Empire.

hoyden said...

Ann does a good imitation of chief justice Roberts providing contextual interpretation for the plain narrative of events.

exhelodrvr1 said...

Lick means lick!!!

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Those doughnuts were just asking to get licked. If it happened now it's happened before. It's the doughnut shop owner's job to prevent people with low impulse control from taking wrongful actions against those overly-tempting doughnuts. Unguarded doughnuts are an attractive nuisance. There oughtta be a law!

Do not, I repeat, do not [donut] generalize from this principle.

Johanna Lapp said...

I love it when a cokehead excuses her own repulsive behavior as a protest against the toxins I put in my body.

Birches said...

Ariana is quite pretty and has an amazing voice. So I give her a pass on this.

Eww. Really? Who else thinks Ariana Grande is attractive? I find her repulsive looking and figured the only reason she was a star was because she spent a lot of time on her knees.

Wilbur said...

Why am I going to get angry at someone I've never heard of, and can safely say it's very likely I'll never hear of again? For something that doesn't affect me?

Anyway, if you'd French kiss this chick, then you'd sure eat a doughnut after she licked it.

jacksonjay said...

Saying anything about this young woman isn't worth saying. Banal blogging.

Tank said...

Wilbur said...

Why am I going to get angry at someone I've never heard of, and can safely say it's very likely I'll never hear of again? For something that doesn't affect me?

Anyway, if you'd French kiss this chick, then you'd sure eat a doughnut after she licked it.


"Chick" is a microaggression. Say two hail Marys and eat two doughnuts and all is forgiven.

tim in vermont said...

I hate progressive democrat party members

really? That seems sad to me.

David said...

"It's easy to see — in the now-famous security footage — how the placement of the doughnuts leads to playful foolery that escalates from "Mmmm, I want" to "I could just bite that" to "Go ahead! Do it!" and "I dare you!" And then some naughty girl licks it and her boyfriend laughs and laughs."

The donuts were asking for it. Got just what they wanted, the tramps.

Paul Ciotti said...

According to one story I read the shop's donut professional" only placed the donuts out for a moment with the intention of moving them to the display case but that was when Ariana and her boyfriend struck. Spitting on food that other people will eat strikes me as contemptible. It is a firing offense if a server does it to a customer who has pissed him off. I recently read about a kid who got nailed for spitting in a cop's chili. She needs to be sentenced to something--100 hours of community service cleaning toilets or something. If a white person had done this in a donut shop serving the black community it would be listed as a hate crime and the offender would be facing the possibility of years in jail. I suspect a lot of servers spit on the food. They just don't do in front of security cameras.

Anonymous said...


Grande is 22 going on 9 emotionally/intellectually. Plus, she is so short, her nose came to doughnut level while most adults would have to bend down significantly to lick the goods. It was a set-up. Nine year-old size and maturity meets adult diva attitude right at her nose.

MayBee said...

CBS reported today the donuts were set there, as Paul says, temporarily because they received a special request. I mean, they had a celebrity in their shop. They were rushing around to please her. And now they've gotten knocked down a letter grade.

Gahrie said...

Althouse defending a woman behaving badly? How novel!

It isn't her fault that she acted so immaturely, it is the shop owners fault for making the act so irresistible!
\
The doughnut shop owner was asking for it!

Peter said...

"Either way you spin it, she's a grade-A asshole."

Not from her PoV. If you assume she's reached the ultimate in narcissism (solipsism) then the entire universe (including that donut shop, and the donuts in it) exists only in her head.

So why shouldn't she do as she pleases in it?

(Although if there is anything outside her head, would the donut shop be within its rights to sprinkle those eye-level donuts with super-hot pepper and, when appropriate, offer bottled water to customers at $400. per bottle?)

Ctmom4 said...

She is a spoiled little brat. I too, deplore the witch hunt culture we seem to have devolved into, with everything an occasion for howls of outrage. But, she is a Hilary supporter, so, no mercy! Let's hound her out of public life.

Gahrie said...

I think Grande should receive a parade and a medal for exposing the shady practices of doughnut store owners.

Gahrie said...

But, she is a Hilary supporter, so, no mercy! Let's hound her out of public life.

It isn't Hillary's opponents who are hounding people out of public life, it is her allies.

khesanh0802 said...

And in other news….

Goju said...

Wasn't there just a case where someone got arrested and charged with assault for spitting in a customer's food? Never mind......completely different set of facts. He was a white male. Not one of the extra sparkly snowflakes groups.

And why the hell are these little self absorbed morons always allowed to use the "ju8t kidding" excuse. Oh yeah, extra sparkly snowflake.

Ctmom4 said...

@ Gahrie- Yes, I know. So, turnabout is fair play. Use the enemies' rulebook against them.

Maybe this is the explanation: http://gawker.com/tiny-singer-ariana-grande-repeatedly-plagued-by-demons-1459572340

The Devil made her do it!

Quaestor said...

If that was my doughnut shop I'd have killed her and her boyfriend -- 12 gauge, 00 buck, close range, in the face.

It's time for it.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

From People.com (shudder):
Health officials are looking into why the donuts were left exposed and whether the shop has a history of leaving food out. California health laws require restaurants to keep food protected from the public. Luckily for the shop, authorities found no further issues with the shop when they visited Wednesday.

"During the investigation, the manager did state they normally don't leave donuts out like was shown in the video," Dottie Ellis-Merki, a spokeswoman for the Riverside County Department of Environment, told the AP. "The employee went to the back to retrieve freshly made donuts by request of the customer and left the trays out while getting other trays."


Is the Professor's statement that If that happened once — we caught Ariana — it happened more than once. still viable or important with these additional facts? Do these additional facts cause the Professor to reevaluate her take on this story? One commenter wants to know!

Tom said...

Classic behavior of an anorexic. (She is dangerously thin.) They tantalize themselves by smelling or licking food and then overreact to giving in to temptation. She needs help.

Guildofcannonballs said...

"Dog owners develop entirely different ideas of hygiene."

True.

The idea I have combabulated involves dogs running through their shit, people knowing it and hating it but being to lazy/cheap to do anything about it, paying $300 at Costco to buy my machine.

Under thirty seconds from exterior to interior, starting with a sanitizing solution (something lawyers can't bitch about and works maybe too) pawbath then a pawdrying session involving brisk air, recyclable cloth-like material in industrial bathrooms, and a treat.

I need engineers, lawyers both patentwise and other, cheerleaders, fucking huge amounts of capital, encouragement, and love.

But we will eliminate dog-related death due to disease as God as my witness.

Althouse gets 4% of gross revenues.

Guildofcannonballs said...

Here's the genius:

The contraption is self-cleaning, so after a certain amount of time (or manually) the sanitizing solution empties into the brisk air/fluffy towel chamber which eventually, after agitation, flushes out to nature's glory.

New solution is cheap but the key patent after the self-cleaning angle; we make our money on the initial sale.

We include set-up and demonstration (hence the Costco angle).

Fucking only $299 to save your children from dying of dogshit poison?????

Doug said...

Did Althouse explain this idiot's rationale for her anti-American comments BEFORE said idiot faux-apologized by saying her comments were intended to convey her anger at childhood obesity?

Be said...

I'm assuming that the "I hate America" line was the punchline to the donut licking business. (Shrug.)

Bob Ellison said...

Why is hate a cool thing to have?

Skyler said...

Impulse control used to be a part of being civilized. Uncivilized people should be in jails. Now they are celebrities.

Gahrie said...

Why is hate a cool thing to have?

It depends who you hate.

Hating women, minorities, homosexuals and freaks makes you a big evil meanie who has to be shut up.

Hating heterosexual, White, men; and Conservative women and minorities is A OK though.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brian said...

A straightforward application of Occam's razor would yield the result that the woman is simply a cunt.

Michael K said...

I still don't know who this person is.

Don't tell me.

I still don't want to know.

Be said...

My first thought being: I don't know who this person is. How awful is it that she's going to be known as the person who licked possibly previous licked goods at an unsanitary bakery?

Theodore James said...

"I don't blog in banalities like that."

Says the woman who writes about this Grande person licking donuts.

Unknown said...

Maybe they were stoned. I could vaguely see being baked, and standing with your face in a tray of still-warm yeasty sweetened annular perfection, and doing the right hinges with licking the doughnuts. <--old skool

The American stuff, I got nothin' and don't want none either.

Althouse needs to be reminded of the BATNA and that there are alternatives to the heads I win, tails you lose politics of the path she sets out. As in Big Ariana meeting not with laughter, pouting or indifferent silence but a brick.

Althouse does not believe in bricks. She believes in words and in controlling icky reality, like bricks, through words. She believes that the dumb are the clever's lawful prey. That their apotheosis is to fulfill the elites'

(and hers! Hers too! She too is an elite!)

To fulfill the elites' Master Plan.

Well, as Mike Tyson used to say, everybody's got a plan until they get hit. And I don't know about others, but I do believe that both most blacks and most whites dislike the idea of having a master, or at least more than one Master.

Chris N said...

I can't recall such a hullabaloo since Ella May Watkins 'What if I don't give a damn about the boys overseas' infamy while pissing in the gin at Club 23.

Freeman Hunt said...

Ready-to-eat food should never be out where people other than those selling it can touch it! Surely that's already a health code violation.

Anonymous said...

"I don't blog in banalities like that."

Says the woman who writes about this Grande person licking donuts.

***********

THIS! THIS!
THIS! THIS!
THIS! THIS!
THIS! THIS!