July 23, 2015

"I’m the mom whose encounter with an angry Maine diner owner went viral. Here’s what happened..."

An annoying person gets a forum in The Washington Post. I'm only interested in reading the comments, of which there are over 5,000 in less than one day. Here's the "most liked" comment:
"I'll never forget the look of fear on my baby's face.."

So she's chill with listening to her kid be miserable for 30 min wait for table and 40 min wait for food -- and with letting other patrons share the misery -- but suddenly someone else's outburst and loud voice is simply unforgettably traumatic! 

Typical hypocritical, self-centered, entitled parent.
Second "most liked":
If someone had told me with a hungry 21-month old toddler that there would be a 30 minute wait BEFORE I could even order? I would have been oughta [sic] there pulling through a McDonalds drive thru or finding something faster.

Plus, just because you don't THINK anyone cares, doesn't mean they don't.

This parent is still clueless. 

Too many young parents think they don't have to adjust THEIR lifestyle or needs at all when a baby comes. Well, you do.
Third:
As soon as you were told it would be a 30-minute wait just for a table, you should have left. You're not hipsters anymore, you're parents. You don't take a hungry toddler out for brunch without a plan B. There are at least two good grocery stores within a few blocks of that diner and countless other places that might have had shorter waits. 

I agree with many of the other comments. Everything about this piece is about you. It's all about how wonderful and reasonable you are. I mean, thanks for telling us you left a 25% tip. Aren't you great?

45 comments:

Michael K said...

"Who lives in New York"

That's where I stopped reading. Of course ! Those stupid Mainiacs just need some education by New Yorkers !

Gahrie said...

No one should shout at a baby, if nothing else it is simply a waste of time. It was also rude. That said, what the parents did to the staff and other patrons was even ruder.

It is all part of the entitlement generation. If I want to take my shrieking kid into a store or a restaurant, the rest of the world simply has to put up with it. And if anyone says anything, they're the rude ones.

Brando said...

I used to live in Portland, though don't remember that diner. Most breakfast places there (as with most cities) are not the ideal place to bring small children.

Her article was ridiculously self serving--I find it hard to believe the child was just "antsy" and the owner exploded over nothing. More likely there was a buildup of noise and it was clearly bothering other patrons. Maybe the owner overreacted, or maybe the owner was pushed to it by an out of control child and parents doing nothing about it--but either way, the parents deserve primary blame for creating a situation like this.

My sister often brings my young niece out, and when she (the niece) has a meltdown the first thing they do is take her outside until she's calmed down. As a diner, I can tolerate young kids making noise so long as the parents are doing something about it. It's when they encourage it or just allow it that I get pissed--it's inconsiderate. Some parents need to be brought down a peg and this article writer deserved that.

The only reason this got famous is she had to post about it on social media. She could have taken a lesson from the experience and moved on, but not this precious snowflake.

I feel sorry for the kid. Getting yelled at, and having a self-aborbed mother.

paminwi said...

I don't know how many times, when our children were little, my husband and I took turns eating so we could remove our fussing child from a dining room. When you have kids along, as a parent you are not guaranteed a peaceful meal with hot food. Did this family not have a bag of goldfish crackers, Cheerios or what ever other kind of stuff toddlers eat these days in their diaper bag or purse? What mother/father goes out without something for their child yo munch on?

MadisonMan said...

Kudos to the Post for recognizing a Clickbait Goldmine!

Agree with the others: Clueless mother and father.

Freeman Hunt said...

Babies cry and sometimes moms make the call between a tantrum in the loud diner or going out into the rain.

Maybe they're a witch family. Maybe they would melt.

Bay Area Guy said...

A confederacy of dunces at a Maine Diner

Bill R said...

You shouldn't yell at a two year old.

It just makes them cry harder for one thing.

That said, I live a few miles from Portland. I'm breakfasting at Marcy's the next chance I get.

JAORE said...

Yep, when we were parents of little ones there were lots of tag-team meals, snacks given, distractions made and lots of walks around the lobby of a movie theater. Even (horrors) punishment when appropriate.

All in the name of politeness and the realization that the evening out we craved was also an evening out for others.

But I see more and more examples of parents letting their children roam/run around the tables, cry, yell, throw things with nary a glimmer that there is an issue.

Fernandinande said...

The restaurant owner sounds like a much bigger asshole than the parents: "It all started because YOUR PARTY NEEDED 3 full sized pancakes for this 2 year old! 3 fucking pancakes at Marcy's!"
Apparently Marcy is too feeble to cook three pancakes all at once, or something, and everyone should know that.

Brando said...
Her article was ridiculously self serving--I find it hard to believe the child was just "antsy" and the owner exploded over nothing.


The owner claims she, the owner, started exploding over someone having the gall to order three fucking pancakes at Marcy's!

Virgil Hilts said...

If one of our toddlers started making noise in a restaurant one of us immediately (assume that words is in all caps) took "it" outside, especially if it was raining. If it stopped we brought it back in. If they did it again, same thing. If they did it three times . . .well I don't know what we would have done because it never happened. Permitting a kid to throw a tantrum in a public place is not only unfair to the people around you it is extremely bad and ignorant parenting.

Chris403 said...

Selfish New Yorkers have no idea how to behave when they leave the city. I find it hard to believe that the owner came all the way out to the table from the kitchen and yelled for no reason. Other diners have said the kid was crying for a long, long time.

Brando said...

"The owner claims she, the owner, started exploding over someone having the gall to order three fucking pancakes at Marcy's!"

The owner's account made her seem pretty unreasonable too, but I hardly think the kid was just "fidgeting" and the owner lost it over nothing.

Some places just aren't conducive to bringing small children. The problem is they have parents who don't want to adjust their lifestyle from their freewheeling childless days, and consider themselves too good for Dennys.

Sorry lady, you're a Dennys lady now!

Fritz said...

I remember taking my brother and his family to a toney restaurant down on the waterfront in Georgetown. The younger had a total, under the table screaming meltdown because the older was picking on him. Good times!

My kids were never like that. . .

Rocketeer said...

The restaurant owner sounds like a much bigger asshole than the parents: "It all started because YOUR PARTY NEEDED 3 full sized pancakes for this 2 year old! 3 fucking pancakes at Marcy's!"
Apparently Marcy is too feeble to cook three pancakes all at once, or something, and everyone should know that.


Look, agree that barking at someone else's 2 yo is usually overboard, but Special Snowflake Mom had been told that there was insufficient grill space for the pancakes during the rush, and that ordering them would result in a significant delay in the food coming...

Freeman Hunt said...

The mom's post on Facebook describes her toddler as having a tantrum. In the Post bit, she's downgraded that to "fussing."

The most shocking part of the story is the part where the owner gives the family takeout containers, telling them to get out, and they stay!

MadisonMan said...

Permitting a kid to throw a tantrum in a public place is not only unfair to the people around you it is extremely bad and ignorant parenting.

So true. Every time my kids threw a tantrum, there were unmistakeable signs that the storm was brewing. Ignore these at your peril!

Perhaps the New York Mom has a kid that just spontaneously melts down with no warning, but I doubt it. And even if that's true -- why test such a kid in a busy restaurant with long waits for food? Idiocy!

Larry J said...

Some parents are oblivious to the disruption their little snowflakes are causing to others. This is hardly a new thing. I remember being on a business trip many years ago. I was sitting next to a woman who had a boy (perhaps 5 or 6 years old) behind her. The boy was kicking the back of her seat as hard as he could with both feet, right into the small of her back. After the second or third time, the woman turned around and sharply told the boy's mother to make him stop. "Oh, is he bothering you?"

Freeman Hunt said...

Don't wait on the parents. Tell the kid to "knock it off" yourself.

Freeman Hunt said...

(Obviously that doesn't apply to a screaming toddler. Then you tell the parents that their child is being disruptive. Why didn't any patrons do that?)

etbass said...

We had six kids and don't remember any incidents in restaurants. It might be because we enforced discipline at home and when we told our kids to do something, disobedience was rewarded with a swat of the paddle across the rear. They learned to control themselves.

We were not above doing that in public too although today, someone would call 911 on their cellphone and we would be arrested, probably.

I Callahan said...

You know, this is odd, because I've seen restaurant workers/owners do the same thing in New York City. Everyone knows how service in the big apple can be brusque, so I find it hard that special snowflake mom (I'm so stealing that) has never encountered anything like that before.

Before they closed it, I went to Big Nick's at 77th and Broadway in NYC once a year. Each year, especially at dinner time, there was always one family with fidgety kids. I've seen the kids be corrected by the owners more than once there, and the parents just sat back and took it like it was part of the experience. And good on them for it.

Sebastian said...

Let's all try to guess which candidate this mommy will vote for.

deepelemblues said...

Sebastian said...
Let's all try to guess which candidate this mommy will vote for.


Whichever one promises her the most effusively that she is in fact a perfect, delicate little flower who is never at fault when she finds herself in a socially uncomfortable situation and can generally do no wrong because telling perfect women like her they've done wrong is near-genocidal chauvinist mansplaining.

Ann Althouse said...

"It just makes them cry harder for one thing."

In this case, it worked. The child got quiet.

Ann Althouse said...

"The owner claims she, the owner, started exploding over someone having the gall to order three fucking pancakes at Marcy's!"

Everyone should go to Marcy's and when the server asks for your order say: "I'll have 3 fucking pancakes"/"I heard about Marcy's famous fucking pancakes... is 3 the best number?"

Brando said...

If they're listed as "fucking pancakes" on the menu, then maybe it's the sort of place where it's part of the charm to get yelled at. They were doing a favor for the kid!

The writer suggests she was surprised that the owner just tossed "to go" boxes on the table, and said "you have to leave" as if out of nowhere. Then, after this, they stayed until the owner had to tell them to shut the kid up. In her mind, the kid was never screaming in a way that led up to the to-go boxes or the followup--as if the owner is some delusional psychotic who imagined things and other diners and the waitress were just wondering what this was all about.

See, if she'd actually written the story accurately I could have some sympathy--"my kid was crying out of control, we were there longer than we expected we'd be, and it was raining too hard to bring the kid outside or it would make things worse--we made some mistakes but the owner compounded the problem"--I could see a new parent going through that. But she tried to spin it so ridiculously that we have no choice but to picture a scenario far worse, and she is the one who looks delusional on top of that.

Michael McClain said...

We avoided putting our son in situations guaranteed to make him fail. The only time he began to get really "fussy" in a restaurant, we changed our orders to "take-out" and left as quickly as possible. Too many couples seem absolutely oblivious to the havoc and chaos being inflicted upon innocent bystanders.

MadisonMan said...

and it was raining too hard to bring the kid outside or it would make things worse

It's never raining too hard to take a kid outside. Super heavy rain is a great distraction for a kid. All the puddles to look at.

Kyzernick said...

Puddles are fun!

Brando said...

"It's never raining too hard to take a kid outside. Super heavy rain is a great distraction for a kid. All the puddles to look at"

Maybe so, I never had to take a kid outside so I wouldn't know. My point is that one would think a marketing manager (or whatever job this lady had) should know that if you overspin your story no one will buy it.

Brando said...

"Puddles are fun!"

No one said they aren't! Puddles get a bad rap these days. Let's lay off the puddles! This isn't about the puddles!

If you prick a puddle, does it not bleed?

Rob said...

She didn't want her baby to scream in a diner for over an hour, but no movie theaters were open.

Anonymous said...

I've got four kids that are in total, 4 years apart from oldest to youngest.

When they were all pretty little, we took them on a trip to Disneyworld. When the plane goes up in the air, their little ears pop and they cry. So you give them games and such to try and keep them distracted. But still, they cry.

The good thing is, it's a flight to Orlando and most of the people on the flight are families going to Disney as well, so they understand.

A few years ago we went again, the kids are all older children now, so no more tantrums or throwing fits. But there are other children on the flight that are little and they cry.

When I hear the crying now, my wife and I look at each other and we smile and say, "Thank God it's not our kids!"

Michael said...

eric

Little kids cry on airplanes because their ears are killing them, really hurting. And parents believe that distracting them will make the pain go away which it will not. The kids have to swallow something or otherwise find a way to equalize the pressure. I hate it for the kids because ear pain is true agony.

In general new moms believe they are the first people on the planet to have children.

Brando said...

"When I hear the crying now, my wife and I look at each other and we smile and say, "Thank God it's not our kids!""

That's usually my reaction when kids are loud or crying in public. It's only when the parents do nothing and it continues that I get annoyed. I've never been angry enough to cause a scene, but I do avoid some restaurants where this happens a lot (and I don't mean "kid friendly" places but adult places where the parents think nothing of bringing screaming children at 8 PM to a bar). I think a lot of them just don't like the idea of giving up the lifestyle they had before they had kids, and the hell with other patrons. It takes a village to raise their children, and the rest of us get to be the village.

Yes, they'll be Hillary voters, somehow I just know this!

lgv said...

""The owner claims she, the owner, started exploding over someone having the gall to order three fucking pancakes at Marcy's!"

Everyone should go to Marcy's and when the server asks for your order say: "I'll have 3 fucking pancakes"/"I heard about Marcy's famous fucking pancakes... is 3 the best number?""

Best AA comment I've read in a long time.

Throughout the article mom refers to her child as fussy. Later she chooses between a "tantrum" inside the diner or outside. OK, nice try. It was fucking tantrum. "You never yell at a baby". OK, 21 months isn't a baby, but let's say yelling is mostly ineffective. You know what else is ineffective? Doing nothing. I see too much of the doing nothing when children are behaving badly.

Brando said...

"Throughout the article mom refers to her child as fussy."

Yeah, I didn't appreciate her sneaky word choice--if a child was just "fussy" I doubt anything would have happened here. Clearly it was enough to bother other customers.

And I think I speak on behalf of all other fellow diners that we can be pretty understanding in these situations if at least the parents are trying to fix the problem. It's when they're oblivious or ignoring it that we consider it inconsiderate.

If I were the owner, I probably would have dropped some not so subtle hints--such as "is there anything we can do to help this situation?" so the parents know the problem is noticed and they need to take action. If they continue to do nothing it's time to escalate to "this noise is disturbing our other guests, we're going to have to ask you to pay your check and leave".

Julie C said...

When our kids were little we had several rules about restaurants. 1) you cry or otherwise fuss, one of us takes you outside until you calm down. 2) you stay in your seat unless you are going to the restroom.

I've seen these absolutely clueless parents letting their kids run around a busy restaurant while they sit and enjoy their meal. And smiling at the kids, as though almost colliding with a waitress carrying a searing hot metal platter of fajitas was the cutest thing in the world.

In this case, who in their right mind takes a toddler to a place that has a 30 minute wait? Either get up really early so you can get a table quickly, or eat someplace less busy. I get cranky if I have to wait that long for breakfast so I can just imagine how this little kid felt.

Freeman Hunt said...

I was on a plane two rows back from a woman with a screaming four year old. He screamed for two hours. I offered her a Dum Dum sucker to give him, but she said "no." At her refusal, the guy behind her quietly wondered, "Really?"

mikee said...

Shortly after the birth of our first child, I took my wife out for a nice dinner at a family-owned Greek restaurant, along with our brand new son in a carrying seat.

Dinner was great, and we were ready to leave when the waiter came up to our table and said, "The owner's mother would like to meet your child, may I take him to her table for a quick visit?"

At a back table sat an elderly lady with a glass of wine and a magazine in front of her. She waved.

My wife nodded agreement, and off the baby went while two plates of baklava and two coffees appeared, courtesy of the house.

My wife and I spent about ten minutes without the baby, for the first time since his birth, and loved every second of it. So did the baby, who delighted in the grandmotherly fuss made over him. So did the matron of the house, who did this with every baby that came in. We learned that last bit during our many, many subsequent visits.

CWJ said...

I'm sorry, but are there no baby sitters left in the world? Not really applicable for the diner situation, but if you're going out for a nice evening meal, what's the benefit (to anybody) of bringing small children along.

Back in the days when they offered smoking/non-smoking, a friend once turned to me and said he wished he could choose children/nonchildren.

Joe said...

I love how everyone is passing judgment with no objective information.

I've seen people go ballistic over kids being fussy (not screaming or crying; just being fussy.) I've also been upset and seen others get upset over things where the cause was something completely different.

Ctmom4 said...

Do I understand correctly that the parents sat there eating while to toddler waited 40 minutes for pancakes? They couldn't have given her something from their meals - toast, or bits of egg> Asked for a sliced banana or something?

Cynicus said...

As a mother of four, it has been my experience that children are more responsive to non-parents correcting them because they are shocked to find out that they are not invisible.