May 13, 2015

"Most men would drink over such losses.Tiger has sex over it. Usually with local hookers whom he pays exorbitant amounts to...."

"He withdrew from Farmers. You have to understand, while it's not right, it's not really wrong either. Tiger isn't married. He doesn't really drink or do drugs. So what else does he have when he can't afford to lose again? He is allowed to find some relief."

Farmers = the Farmers Insurance Open, a golf tournament from which Tiger Woods withdrew because of injury.

"When Tiger realized he was seen, he became concerned and eventually he decided to confess to Lindsey. Something he didn't do with Elin. He came clean and I give him credit for that. Yes, Tiger cheated again. But it wasn't with anyone special. He really wanted Lindsey to be the one. But he blew it again. He can't help himself. He's got an addiction. He relapsed."

Lindsey = Lindsey Vonn, the beautiful Olympic skier, with whom he had a 3-year relationship.

I hadn't seen sex addiction referred to in a long time. I thought that had gone away. Thought it was roundly recognized as bullshit.... and I mean to the point where people weren't going to say it anymore. Expired bullshit. I know people will still bullshit, but you have to use things that will work as bullshit. Interestingly, I think the process of rejection of the idea of sex addiction was triggered by the Elin-and-Tiger breakup.

47 comments:

tim in vermont said...

A massive dick is a terrible thing to waste on just one woman.

traditionalguy said...

Tiger.Tiger burning bright in the out of bounds of the night, what immortal swing coach could frame thy fearful Nike endorsement?

tim maguire said...

When I was younger, I used to say things like, "I tried to be addicted to sex but couldn't get the cooperation." It was mildly funny, in certain contexts.

Paul said...

He is just a crude and rude man that just happens to swing a golf club well. Low class is low class even if you are rich (just look at Dollar Bill Clinton.)


You can smile, joke well, be popular, but you are still low class.

MayBee said...

If he would stay away from relationships, he could have sex with how ever many women he wanted.

The Drill SGT said...

If I were Laslo, I'd talk about how most men would kill over Tiger's rejects.

Though his behavior isn't as terminally stupid, as that of Hugh Grant, who had Liz Hurley as a GF, but needed BJ's from black hookers on Sunset Strip. ugh...

tim in vermont said...

He is just a crude and rude man that just happens to swing a golf club well.

Tiger Woods is a great, but flawed man. His biggest flaw in my opinion is that he hits better on the range than he does on the course.

tim in vermont said...

Actually, Sarge, Tiger seemed to have a taste for bar-room skanks, his own version of the Sisters of Mercy.

Hagar said...

The Kennedys?

lgv said...

"Tiger Woods is a great, but flawed man"

Tiger is not a great man. He is a great golfer, perhaps the greatest golfer ever. Same with Ben Hogan. People shouldn't expect or confuse the two.

What we glean from the article, none of which is a surprise:

1) He likes to bang lots of women, thereby shunning monogamy
2) He has a huge ego and is narcissistic
3) He's boring

So, he is clearly like many superstar athletes, rock stars, and celebrities.

It is not unusual for superstar athletes to be boring. Their lives are consumed by mastering their craft. If you talk to a professional golfer, he isn't likely to engage in chat over the great divide between Sunni and Shia Islam and its effect on the Middle East.

tim in vermont said...

All I want from Tiger Woods is that he play great golf.

Lindsey Vonn, the *beautiful* Olympic skier,

There she goes again. How about the "reasonably attractive" Olympic skier. ;)

His wife was "beautiful," probably too beautiful.

Crimso said...

The problem with using bullshit is that the question of whether or not it works depends on the person shit (shat?) upon. The bullshitter can only know this by trying it, at least until the bullshit in question is widely recognized as such. If the Tiger-Elin breakup marked the end of the acceptance of the bullshit of sex addiction, it might be too soon for the usual purveyors of bullshit to have all realized it.

I had a friend who used to say "Lets go hang around outside a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting and wait for somebody to relapse."

Gusty Winds said...

From The Onion 2010 referring to Tiger Woods' big press conference after 'treatment'.

Tiger Woods Announces Return to Sex

"When I am out there having sex, I am in complete control," said Woods, an acknowledged master of the long game who claims he is only truly at peace when he is between the legs of a woman. "It's just me and my thoughts. And a high-end escort. And the lounge dancer. And sometimes [caddie] Stevie. And probably some stewardess I just met."

Toby said...

If sex addiction is real, why isn't the answer to it the same as other addictions: complete abstinence?

Laslo Spatula said...

As a Pimp it is always trouble when one of the Girls in your Stable has a Famous Man for a customer. First, obviously, the obvious: they now think they are Special Candy-Coated Sugar Shit, rather than a run-of-the-mill hooker who just happened to get lucky. Baby: you are just expensive Kleenex that he is choosing to masturbate into. And Dude don't keep the Kleenex.

Second: he will often pay exorbitant amounts to make him feel like he is not just some everyday John. Now, this is fine when -- as the Pimp -- I decide my share, but sometimes he'll leave the extra as a tip, and the Girl may not be so forthcoming with the cash: this cannot be allowed. Pretty much in all these scenarios a Girl will need a tune-up directly afterward, just to recalibrate the hooker equilibrium.

Often, the Celebrity will just pay for straight sex, but the Starstruck Girl will give the anal as a freebie: Girl, I own the toll-gate on your ass and don't go thinking I won't check for evidence in your oil pan, or his dipstick, doesn't matter: I'll know.

Now, if anal was the case a tune-up is de rigueur, but just because dude is a Celebrity doesn't mean he's above a beat-down, too: as a Pimp in this situation you represent ALL Pimps Worldwide, and as that Representation you got to Stand Up. If Dude got bodyguards you have Friends: if pistol-whipping is what it takes then pistol-whipping it is.

Sometimes the Celebrity will pay me extra to keep things quiet: I can respect that. If the money is Respectable: my Silence is a Commodity, Bitch.

Then there is the Celebrity who thinks that, because he is a Celebrity, he should get some for free. This ain't Baskin-Robbins, Dude: No Free Samples of any of the Flavors.

And Pimp: if you got starstruck too, hand over your Pimp Card.


I am Laslo.

Gordon said...

When you're wealthy like Micheal Douglas or Tiger Woods, you can be a sex addict. The rest of us, well, we're just pussy hounds.

Gusty Winds said...

Tiger hasn't won a Major Tournament since the 2008 US Open. The conversation used to be "when" he would beat Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 Majors. (Tiger as of 2008 has 14).

Golf at that level requires mental fortitude, calm, focus, etc... The distance between first and everyone else is subtle.

An nothing can fuck that up like addiction to women. Men create their Femme Fatales.

Woods got married in 2004, two kids by 2008, and that was the last Major win. By 2012 his sex life caught up with him, 9-iron though the windshield, treatment, press conference, divorce...

And now Jack Nicklaus' Major Record of 18 career wins is safe. The younger talent is too good and caught up Woods.

Gusty Winds said...

With endless resources, fame, and fortune Tiger is simply behaving and living the sex life most men wish they could from age 13 to death.

Elvis did it. Gene Simmons. Led Zeppelin. Mick Jagger, etc..

But rock stars aren't 'sex addicts. They're just livin' the dream.

PuertoRicoSpaceport.com said...

Isn't sex addiction just another name for hypersexuality or satyriasis/nymphomania?

If so, it is a recognized medical condition in the DSM. It can be treated and your insurer can be made to pay for the treatment in some cases.

It makes a great excuse, as evidenced by the girlfriend.

"Honey, I don't want to fool around but I have this sickness. Please help me."

Best cure may be to find a doctor who will prescribe daily sex on the medical theory that if you have too much, you will burn out and be cured.

John Henry

William said...

Tiger Woods is a Meaningful Relationship addict. He keeps thinking that one pretty girl will supply all the fun, variety and excitement of a rotating assortment of high priced hookers......What if you won the lottery and thought you were doomed to spend eternity in hell because gambling is the greatest sin of all?

tim in vermont said...

Rory McIlroy dumps his fiance, immediately wins again, and heads straight for world #1.

Tiger, take a clue.

Laslo Spatula said...

Since rock stars have been added to the mix...

To the women readers: if your Man was a Celebrity -- and you have accepted that he WILL sleep around -- would you rather he chose a hooker or a groupie?

The groupie adores him; the hooker gets some of your joint 'community money'.

Hmmm.

I am Laslo.

mccullough said...

Tiger's injuries are what prevent him from winning like he did before, along with his age.

Gusty Winds said...

Post 2002 David Duval fell off the face of the PGA Earth after winning the British Open. He and his girlfriend of eight years broke up. His game never recovered.

At the time, he and Tiger were battling for #1 in the world. Between October of 1997 and April of 1999 he won 11 of 34 PGA Tournaments entered. He posted the Holy Grail score of 59 for a round winning the 1999 Bob Hope Classic.

Women can throw off your equilibrium like a bad head cold.

Great for rock stars as heartache can lead to great songwriting and edgy performances.

Bad for Golfers.

damikesc said...

1) Tiger is a nerd.

2) Nerds, due to their upbringing, have a burning desire to be accepted by the opposite sex.

3) Tiger has a shit ton of money

4) Tiger has years of pent up "partying" that he had to forego when he was younger.

Tiger is, basically, Lindsay Lohaning it up right now. He shouldn't be dating anybody but his nerdiness makes that a tough sell to him I'd imagine.

There she goes again. How about the "reasonably attractive" Olympic skier. ;)

Yeah, Vonn is attractive (I'd hit it) but gorgeous? I imagine if we saw a photo of the high-priced hooker tail Tiger was banging, Vonn would look dramatically less attractive.

Hookers who can charge thousands of dollars for their services tend to be stunning.

...but don't tell me men aren't judged badly for sleeping around. Men who whore it up aren't usually respected for anything more than the skill set they exhibit. Anything else is just "He's a sleazeball"

NotquiteunBuckley said...

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Text messages are never good
Nail a girl at the driving range
Your life will change, just like Tiger Woods

Have your best friend book all your flights
Tell your wife that you're golfing nights
Get a call girl and maybe just chill
Be willing to part with a hundred mil

Bang a new pornstar every day
Tell your sponsors it will be okay
Surprise them all with an invitation
To a viewing of your first double penetration, yeah

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Poking all the holes in the neighbourhood
Tell your wife how it's gonna be
Your driver is community property

"If you wanna be like Tiger Woods" by Steel Panther.

mccullough said...

David Duval was also injured.

mezzrow said...

I guess Psalm 51 is for the bandleader.

A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David was the victim of his sex addiction with Bathsheba.

Chuck said...

Who says Tiger doesn't drink or do drugs?

At the time of his infamous Thanksgiving one-car wreck, he was found sleeping on the ground next to his wrecked Escalade. Widely presumed to be from a combination of Ambien and alcohol.

Tiger may not be a drunk (I presume he is not); and he may not be a reckless user of things like marijuana, cocaine or other recreational drugs. But there is intense speculation about his use of performance-enhancing drugs; all fueled by his acknowledged relationships with some of the same medical people who were also involved with the likes of Alex Rodriguez.

Until recently, the PGA Tour had no PED testing protocol to remotely compare with the Olympics or even baseball.

There is no reason for anyone to think that Tiger Woods 'doesn't drink or do drugs.'

Mac McConnell said...

The best way for a woman to get over a man is to get underneath another one.

Tiger is just a chick.

The Drill SGT said...

Hookers who can charge thousands of dollars for their services tend to be stunning.

And for the right price, they'll do most anything, any time.

Wives and GF's, not so much...At least ones that have some ego of their own...

buwaya puti said...

This is a man who could be helped by legalized polygamy.

SteveR said...

His injuries are probably the biggest reason for his inability to keep up his earlier success.

damikesc said...

And for the right price, they'll do most anything, any time.

Wives and GF's, not so much...At least ones that have some ego of their own...


There is that. There are some things you just don't want to do with a wife/girlfriend.

...though I had a friend who'd end relationships by requesting the most vile sexual acts he could think of. Figured they'd either dump him...or do it. Either was OK by him. He'd just up the ante more if they said yes.

mikee said...

When an entire episode of South Park is devoted to ridiculing the subject of a post by our blog host, I feel there is nothing I can add.

Sex addiction? Really?

MadisonMan said...

Obligatory Link.

Anonymous said...

I'm addicted to food, water, sleep and sex.

The Drill SGT said...

and air...

machine said...

gossiping is fun

The BubFather said...

Woods is/was a psychological mess. His dad had him hitting golf balls for hours as a child. They'd spend hours on the range, where Earl would tell Tiger to hit 50 three woods with a draw, 50 with a slight cut and 50 straight and if he didn't do it right, he'd start all over. Tiger also had a stutter when he was young. Pretty sure Earl was a (ever seen The Jimmy Piersall story?) big part of Tiger's issues.

I'm not making excuses for bad behavior, but I'll bet Tiger never did much as a kid other than hit golf balls and go to school. No riding bikes, no baseball, ...just hit golf balls for hours and hours. Personality development was likely lacking.

He then went from a ball hitting machine to a pro. The Soviets used to say that being good at any sport required 10,000 repetitions. Well Tiger probably had that 10,000 in by the time he was 10.

There were also rumors of steroid usage. Lee Trevino said when he first saw Tiger, "he'll be the greatest golfer ever, if his body holds up." Said he never saw anyone torque the way Woods did and wondered often whether Woods' legs would hold up....well?

As Tiger got older and richer, nobody every reigned him in. Nobody would say he was going to mess up his life with the hookers. His agent just wanted the money and notoriety that went with the name Tiger Woods. Yes men and addictions are well documented.

Tiger needed to hit rock bottom to get past the addiction thing. Like alcoholics, the guy went back to drinking so to speak. In some respects he's a pathetic guy to watch today. All that skill and such a ruined life. But I'm pretty sure I know how he got there.

Joe said...

The bigger question is what was Lindsey Vonn thinking? That she could repair him or some such nonsense?

Mark said...

So now I'm confused.

Originally there was free will when it came to sexuality.

Then there wasn't free will, it became a matter of identity.

Now it is a matter of free will again?

BudBrown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Freeman Hunt said...

The question is less "What was Tiger thinking?" than "What was his girlfriend thinking?"

David said...

Somewhere Magic Johnson is smiling his big charming shit eating smile. Magic is a hero and Tiger is a bum. Go figure.

David said...

What was the hooker thinking? I bet it was something sympathetic. A kindred spirit, in a strange sort of way.

J Lee said...

Wade Boggs is thinking "Been there, done that..."

Tiger has yet to will himself invisible like Boggs, though a couple of more years of missing the cut at major tournaments might do the trick.