March 14, 2015

The Milwaukee Brewers ban high fives.

Can you guess why?

They are combating the scourge of pinkeye.


Eric the Fruit Bat said...

High fives and pinkeye were never a problem before they banned crotch grabs and ass pats.

tim in vermont said...

After what the NHL went through with mumps I don't think they can take any chances.

traditionalguy said...

This was never a problem back in the good old days of chewing tobacco and cheek snuff. Of course the lost surgery days for mouth cancer was the problem then.

MadisonMan said...

I would not have guessed that. But I might have if you had written temporarily.

Sometimes adverbs are necessary for clarity.

Meade said...

I guessed shoulder and other injuries. I guessed wrong.

Beta Rube said...

Maybe they could replace the National Anthem with "Sometimes When we Touch" and the players could high five in their heads.

MadisonMan said...

@BetaRube, or the high fives could just be solo, and they could play the Divinyls' I touch Myself on the loudspeakers.

Unknown said...

My guess was the same as Meade's.

Will they allow the forearm bump, which I think came to prominence with the Oakland A's back in the days of Mark Maguire and Jose Conseco?

Saw an old buddy who had pinkeye at the time - we bumped elbows instead of shaking hands.

Laslo Spatula said...

They should also ban Chipotle from the locker room for awhile. Just to be safe.

I am Laslo.

Static Ping said...

Figured it would be injury related since there have been players injured during celebrations in the past couple of years. Then again unless you want to use the other guy as the arm on a slot machine that's a pretty unlikely event.

Eh, at least it is not the cooties.

Titus said...

Who cares? Milwaukee is a shit city just above Detroit. Could you imagine living in Milwaukee Wisconsin, who's population continues to dwindle. Gross "Midwestern" city.

I deteste declining population cities-they are so unproductive not creative economy.

Milwaukee, Racine, Kenosha, Sheboygan, Green Bay =depressing. And Madison is nasty too-strip mall city who thinks its "cool".

When I was like 16 I went to a gay bar in Milwaukee (Park Avenue was the name) and stayed at some guys place in Racine. He wanted to do me but I could not. He had fucking humbles all over the apartment-total turn off.

After that experience I knew I had to get out ASAP.

Wisconsin is a shithole.

But a Wisconsin colleague of mine did make a brat pie for Pi day...and we all laughed about how pedestraion Scony is.


Titus said...

After I moved to Boston and went out to clubs I kept saying, "are these guys really gay"?

I was floored. They were so incredibly hot, educated and not, and ethnic and muscled.

i was never going back to the midwest.

The east coast fag was so not what I thought of a doughy midwest fag.

And the midwest fag remains the same: fat, queeny, not assimillated into the business world, and boring.

Anonymous said...

Can you guess why?

Because the players are union thugs?

Seems to be what gets most of the blame around these parts.

Crimso said...

Without looking or reading any of the comments sitting to the left of where I am typing this, I'll say "racist."

Crimso said...


It also occurred to me they might have seen it as a risk the player would immediately be shot by a cop.

averagejoe said...

Hands up, don't touch!

Meade said...

"I deteste declining population cities-they are so unproductive not creative economy."

We're fat! We have bald spots! Get used to it!