December 19, 2014

"IT’S 2014, PEOPLE. WHY ARE WE STILL EXTREME-CONTOUR SHAMING?!?!"

"Also, we have ACTUAL GIF evidence that she looked absolutely incredible in the moving flesh."

24 comments:

Clayton Hennesey said...

There's an acronym for moments like this, is there not.

Laslo Spatula said...

The modern-day Britney Spears will never win the photographic battle with the pictures of her as a nubile seventeen-year-old.

Miley Cyrus will learn this in ten-to-fifteen years.

Sadly, Madonna has never learned this.

I am Laslo.

Patrick said...

I'm not sure if Brittany is 30 yet, but I was sure she wouldn't make it that long. Nice that she did, or is close at least. I suppose that the reason she did is that she's been out of the news for several years. Good for her.

Laslo Spatula said...

I like to 'Extreme Contour' Cheerleaders. With my hands.

I have a talent.

I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...

I am introducing Lena Dunham into this conversation.

There: introduced.

I am Laslo.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Clayton Hennesey said...

There's an acronym for moments like this, is there not.

I'm going with TL;DR

ThreeHeaded Throop said...

She's 33. And she looks better than she did at 17. I wouldn't have spent even a few seconds looking at her in the 90s. Of course, I was past 40 and favored actual women. I don't know if she's still crazy or not, and I have no idea what extreme contouring is, but she has something now that you can't have until you grow up. Let's hope it's not just external.

Franklin said...

Like the Black Stormtrooper "controversy", this is a debate with only one side.

Lyssa said...

Patrick said: I was sure she wouldn't make it that long.

I thought the same - I distinctly remember saying to someone several years ago that she would be dead in six months. I have no real interest in her as a performer, but every time I see her in the news now, I'm really happy that I was so greatly proven wrong.

khesanh0802 said...

Like Renee Zellwegger Britney is hardly recognizable as Britney. Lots of expensive surgery there no matter what she says.

chillblaine said...

Something about this reminds me of Anatomy of a Troll Job. I think it was Spears' tattoos. All the young women have them, and I just don't get it.

William said...

I always thought that Britney's career as a singer as opposed to her career as a pop icon would flower and flourish after she put on forty pounds. See Rosemary Clooney, Barbara Cook, and Marianne Faithful. Gorgeous women have no right to sing the blues. Only someone with extensive cellulite can sing of the transience of human affections and the inevitability of death with the proper gravitas.

MathMom said...

She looks like Cheryl Ladd in the face.

I expected her to be dead long ago too. Good she is still around to raise her kids.

madAsHell said...

Curves be damned, they photo-shopped the vapid out of her eyes. She actually looks like she could hold up her end of a conversation.

mccullough said...

Laslo

Any idea what the tattoos on her pelvis are?

SteveR said...

I never thought she was that good of a singer, as compared to her Mickey Mouse Club cohort Christina Aguilera, for instance. But she had the slutty teen look going until she didn't. A decade plus later we get a new creation that's fine but can she perform?

eddie willers said...

Other than the non-stop cursing, I didn't understand a word of this article.

Is this a new version of "Leave Britney alone!"?

Achilles said...

Take any 16-24 year old and give them several million dollars. Call it a social experiment. I will bet money that 95% of the time it will turn out badly.

I doubt she is poor and she is likely still a dumpster fire mentally but the pictures look good. Almost as if she has grown up.

holdfast said...

The abs look good.

The face looks fine - but it doesn't look at all like Britney.

Ann Althouse said...

It's fascinating that extreme contouring makeup causes the person to look like bad photoshopping. What's supposed to make the chinline less prominent makes the head look cut off from the body.

mikee said...

I wasn't going to click the link, because I was afraid it might be another blurb for Hillary.

While almost as bad, this photoshop job wasn't as painful as I expected.

Anthony said...

Seems like decent plastic surgery to me. Still looks like her. OTOH, quite a few women I thought have looked way hotter in their 30s-40s than when they were younger. Vanessa Williams and Elizabeth Hurley, for example.

David said...

hreeHeaded Throop said...
She's 33. And she looks better than she did at 17.


Most women who stay in shape look better at 33 than 17, it seems to me.

tim maguire said...

It took a while to figure out what "extreme contouring" is (apparently it is assumed that Buzzfeed readers know). Why couldn't they have just said "too much photoshopping"?

It's hardly news that the models who (pedant's note--when you are talking about people, it is "who," not "that") appear in our magazines are really cartoon versions of the real thing and there are some real things who are better than the cartoon versions so why not let's see some more real things and fewer cartoons peddled as real things, how about it?