Althouse: "She said something like, 'If you’re so immature that your wife is mothering you, and that turns you off and you can’t communicate it, that’s your problem.'"

January 26, 2014

"She said something like, 'If you’re so immature that your wife is mothering you, and that turns you off and you can’t communicate it, that’s your problem.'"

"She was hard on me. And I was O.K. with that. She’s very authentic."

And: "... if woman is so domesticated and all she wanted is security, why did every civilization need to lock her up if she wasn’t going anywhere, anyway?"

15 comments:

Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1/26/14, 11:39 AM
Fen said...: master’s degree in expressive art therapy

ie. a bullshitter

900 entrepreneurs and creative types

Such as Dawn who runs her own art studio where, for $20 an hour, clients throw their feces at a blank canvas.

has a French-sounding accent that implicitly seems to bolster her authority

edit: that is *necessary* to bolster her authority.

paradox of wanting both adventure and security in monogamous relationships

..and other 1st World Problems women chatter about in their free time.

There was a lot of, ‘Oh, I sat with Esther at dinner, and she said this.’ She became social capital

Sounds like her clients are all reformed Carrie Bradshaws.

“But if woman is so domesticated and all she wanted is security, why did every civilization need to lock her up if she wasn’t going anywhere, anyway?”

Crap Alert. Those of you with a brain, please evacuate in an orderly fashion.

the investor, who preferred that his name not be used. “She was hard on me. And I was O.K. with that. She’s very authentic.”

Sugar Daddy looking for dominatrix. Because he's been a bad boy.; 1/26/14, 11:44 AM
Ann Althouse said...: That made me think of this from "The Life of Pi":

"[Zoo] animals do not escape to somewhere but from something. Something within their territory has frightened them ... and set off a flight reaction. The animal flees, or tries to. I was surprised to read at the Toronto Zoo ... that leopards can jump up to eighteen feet straight up. Our leopard enclosure in Pondicherry was sixteen feet high at the back. I surmise that Rosie and Copycat never jumped out was not because of constitutional weakness but simply because they had no reason to. Animals that escape go from the known to the unknown--and if there is one thing an animal hates above all else, it is the unknown."; 1/26/14, 11:45 AM
YoungHegelian said...: She said something like, ‘If you’re so immature that your wife is mothering you, and that turns you off and you can’t communicate it, that’s your problem,

Wow, pretty judgmental for a sex therapist who knows exactly, oh, a hundred words & zilch more about the man she's addressing! Because sex jokes & life anecdotes have absolutely no place in a conversation about long term sexual intimacy. None, you understand, you male worm.

Would Dr. Ruth have been so nasty? I think not.

I think the LA businessman got yelled at for another reason: he brought up the elephant in the room. That elephant is that a great place to meet extra-marital partners is a place where everyone there is 1) self-admittedly bored in their marriage & 2) seemingly there without their spouses, as would be the norm in "couples therapy". It certainly doesn't hurt to get the women in the mood to know that they're in a room full of successful men.; 1/26/14, 12:03 PM
Seeing Red said...: Slaps forehead. I have so many thoughts.

The rich guy can afford to have a cleaning service. It's not about dirtying the floors or carpets.

Hand the married couples 50 Shades of Gray.

Relating needs to be taught in schools? How many single girls who pay for this grew up in divorced households or with single moms?

women want security? She's not a feminist, is she? Biology rules.; 1/26/14, 12:35 PM
Anonymous said...: I clicked. I glanced. I closed the tab.

Why are sex "experts" always the unsexiest people in the universe?; 1/26/14, 1:09 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: I couldn't tell what she was pushing from the article. She seemed

Do most people not enjoy regular sex anymore? Sex therapists, GGG, Fifty Shades, etc. All this sex plus something else. If you only like sex plus, maybe you don't like sex and that's why you're always wanting to add things to it. Maybe the thing to explore is not which plus you find best but why it is that you don't like sex in the first place.

I wonder what this woman talks about: pluses or the actual thing.; 1/26/14, 2:45 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: seemed fine; 1/26/14, 2:45 PM
The Godfather said...: My favorite lines in the article (other than the one about the French accent, which Fen mentioned) are:

"she is physically appealing — in some photos, she looks like an exotically styled Katie Couric" -- gag me with a spoon!

"Ms. Perel, who has a master’s degree in expressive art therapy" -- credentialism rears its ugly head once again!; 1/26/14, 5:01 PM
SGT Ted said...: Nice translating, Fen.; 1/26/14, 7:05 PM
fivewheels said...: I clicked, I glanced, I saw the picture of a "couples therapy expert" in a room full of only women. I decided I probably did not need to investigate further. Was I wrong?; 1/26/14, 11:10 PM
Trashhauler said...: "...that's your problem."

Meaning what? Forget it, I can't help you? Or maybe, now I don't want to help you? What kind of therapy is that?

So, the sex gets stale because we lack imagination? Or maybe because we have unreasonable expectations? Or because we can't share our feelings? Or because there is no mystery? Or because the old shoe at home is no longer thrilling? Or is it because all the experiments eventually paled?

What was her theory, again?; 1/27/14, 1:59 AM
Laura said...: A "therapist" who focuses on clients who have experienced infidelity is going to be influenced by them, whether she thinks she will or not.

Deep caring commitment and eroticism are functionally independent?

"Hell no!" says the courtesan.

"Hell yes!" says the dominatrix. "Although asphyxiation is bad for business..."

"Ah, interesting discussion," says the geisha. "Perhaps we should drink some tea, and think this over. Perhaps some music and art to soothe the soul?"

The preschool helper seethes in the background, knowing that if she practiced psychology without formal training, she would be laughed off the stage.; 1/27/14, 6:51 AM
Laura said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1/27/14, 6:52 AM
Laura said...: Also, a man becomes a scapegoat in a room full of women seeking sex therapy?

Jonathan Swift had this figured out eons ago.

Bad therapist. Bet $10 most of the women have daddy/stepdaddy issues too, but that flies under her radar.; 1/27/14, 7:29 AM