December 30, 2013

Justice Sonia Sotomayor will lead the Times Square New Year's Eve ball-drop countdown.

"She will press the crystal button... the first United States Supreme Court justice to do so."

Because she's from New York City? But almost half of the Supreme Court Justices are from New York City, including both the other female Justices. The male is Justice Scalia.
While it may be difficult to imagine Justice Scalia on the stage in Times Square, Justice Sotomayor has taken on a more public role as a justice, especially as she promoted her recent memoir, “My Beloved World.” She has doled out career advice on “Sesame Street,” appeared on “The Daily Show” and even salsa-danced with a Univision anchor.
Justice Scalia doesn't take a public role?! He's always out and about spreading the word about Originalism and so forth. If he's not manning the Times Square crystal button and not on "Sesame Street" and "The Daily Show," I think that has more to do with liberal media ostracizing nonliberals than anything else.
Justice Sotomayor was selected because of her inspirational story of rising from a humble background to become the first Hispanic justice on the court, said Tim Tompkins, president of the Times Square Alliance. She has encouraged others to dream big, a nice message for a new year, he said.

Anderson Cooper will host the televised party in Times Square, with performances by Miley Cyrus, Melissa Etheridge and others. Viewers should not expect to see Ms. Cyrus twerking near Justice Sotomayor. The justice will have a private space at the event, Mr. Tompkins said.
Humility, big dreams and inspiration, and the continuing subordination of women (in the form of Miley's plastic-clad ass, but not too close to the risen-from-humility Supreme Court Justice, who will be encased in an enclosure of sublime respect with her crystal button).

33 comments:

Rusty said...


"Justice Sonia Sotomayor will lead the Times Square New Year's Eve ball-drop countdown."

I am so fucking happy for her. I'm beside myself with joy.

virgil xenophon said...

You managed to leave out Kathy Griffin, that other fine exemplar of good taste who will also be on stage with Cooper, et al.

Hagar said...

Considering the rest of the cast, Justice Sotomayor should bow out of this.

MadisonMan said...

I'll be asleep when it happens.

Anonymous said...

Re: "Miley Cyrus, Melissa Etheridge and others."

Melissa Etheridge? When Have These Shows Thrown a Charity Bone to a has-Been a Decade or More Past Her Mediocre Prime? What is So Different and Special About Her, of All People?

Wait: I Think I Figured it Out.

Anonymous said...

In Related News, Ruth Ginsberg Will be Attending the Ribbon-Cutting of a new Hooters Right Off the Interstate.

Anonymous said...

The Countdown Will Start at Nine, Not Ten, and Will End in a 5-4 Decision.

Anonymous said...

The New Year Will Be determined to Be a Tax, Not a Mandate.

Anonymous said...

Regarding the New Year: Scalia is in Dissent.

Anonymous said...

This doesn't seem so very different from Justice Thomas refereeing NASCAR in his free time.

Unknown said...

One button and only one thing for a wise Latina to do. She parodies herself.

hiawatha biscayne said...

melissa ethridge is the paula poundstone of today.

rhhardin said...

Wise latina means soap opera.

Anonymous said...

Re: "(in the form of Miley's plastic-clad ass)"

Plastic-Clad means Easier for Clean-Up: a Damp Sponge Should do the Trick.

Anonymous said...

A Damp Sponge on Melissa Etheridge Will Bring Remnants of David Crosby to the Surface.

Anonymous said...

New Year's Eve Countdown to Millions Losing Their Insurance: Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven.....

Anonymous said...

By Pushing the Button for the New Year Signifying the Subsequent Insurance Apocalypse Justice Sonia Sotomayor is a Wise Choice, Indeed.

gadfly said...

U-N-B-E-C-O-M-I-N-G-!

CWJ said...

Betamax3000 - Very very good today.

Hey! Leave some behind for the rest to comment.

Freeman Hunt said...

To improve ratings, I think Scalia and Thomas should be invited to offer unvarnished, realtime commentary on the entertainment acts.

campy said...

A wiser Latina have refused the "honor."

southcentralpa said...

I'm hoping this isn't a harbinger of Kathy Griffin being placed on the Supreme Court ...

Alexander said...

Justice Sotomayor: Given place of honor when it comes to dropping the ball.

Justice Sotomayor: Overseeing the descent.

There are a few people who are perhaps more deserving of such honors, but to be fair: she definitely makes the short list.

David said...

Scalia's parents were immigrants from Italy.

David said...

Thomas' parents were his grandparents.

YoungHegelian said...

I just can't wait to hear Justice Sotomayor scream at Justice Scalia: "Hey, Tony, I'm trying to work here! I don't go down to the Federalist Society conferences & slap the dicks out your mouth!"

mccullough said...

O'Conner was the grand marshal of the Rose Bowl parade a few years ago.

Rusty said...

If you like your new year you can keep your new year.

Rockport Conservative said...

All I see in this article is that we need some Justices from flyover land. Too much of the North east liberal influence even if they are called conservative. We are different out here.

SteveR said...

Given the unfunny Kathy Griffen occupying the "funny" spot, the rest of the line up makes perfect nonsense. Of course celebrating New Years Eve by way of Times Square is a totally made up thing. Sorry I'll miss it, again....

RecChief said...

jesus, what a mess, now court justices are celebrities? Our entire culture has become "Look at me! Look at me! LOOK. AT. ME!!!!" FML. I might have to move to Canada, this is just fucking ridiculous.

Ann Althouse said...

"I just can't wait to hear Justice Sotomayor scream at Justice Scalia: "Hey, Tony, I'm trying to work here! I don't go down to the Federalist Society conferences & slap the dicks out your mouth!""

Great joke… except they don't call him Tony, they call him Nino.

zefal said...

Her parents removed themselves and their daughter from a poor economic situation by moving to the US and using the opportunities that gave them. So the claim Sonia did this is BS. Her family was a middle income family and she was attending private Catholic by the time she was 13. Same lie they tell us about obama. The one Supreme court Justice this is true for is Clearance Thomas who was the son of a sharecropper.