Althouse: "Congratsturbating."

May 5, 2013

"Congratsturbating."

"Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating."

38 comments:

pm317 said...: Obamacare?; 5/5/13, 8:02 AM
madAsHell said...: Could this term also include.......showing up to take all the credit after the hard work is done??; 5/5/13, 8:05 AM
Tank said...: Good word.

Doesn't fit their example.; 5/5/13, 8:10 AM
edutcher said...: Yeah, it does sound like Choom does it all the time.

Kind of like F&F and then going down to Mexico to say their firearm problem is our fault.; 5/5/13, 8:11 AM
Wince said...: So, closing White House tours on school vacation week because you weren't able to raise taxes was what?

... A "hate fuck"?; 5/5/13, 8:13 AM
rhhardin said...: It's women's standards.; 5/5/13, 8:17 AM
Gahrie said...: A "hate fuck"?

I actually think EDH has hit the nail on the head. The U.S. has been in an abusive relationship for the last five years with a group of people intent on hate fucking us daily.; 5/5/13, 8:24 AM
Bob Ellison said...: Yeah, edutcher, that Obama thing about guns in Mexico is amazing. Humans really are that stupid, apparently. It should be getting universal "WTF?!" coverage in the press.; 5/5/13, 8:28 AM
Shouting Thomas said...: I.e., Althouse is relentlessly congratsturbating over homosexuality.

Yes, I know Althouse, I'm a closeted fag because I'm obsessing over that bag of cocks. And, you are driven to congratsturbating over homosexuality by your religiously pure devotion to intellectual discourse. You can't help yourself. God called you to defend the holy human right of butt boinking.

Althouse is one of the most prolific congrasturbators on the planet. Your organs can get pretty sore if you don't give it a rest once in a while. I'd advise using some KY Jelly to keep things lubricated.

It's been a day since you congratsturbated over gaydom. You were drunk or what?; 5/5/13, 8:28 AM
Ann Althouse said...: @ST When have I ever congratulated myself over anything like that? I never give myself credit for accomplishing anything. I only write about the topic and give opinions. I don't then turn around and claim to be great for having done that.

I dare you to find a quote of mine that fits that category.

Feel free to apologize.; 5/5/13, 8:48 AM
dbp said...: John Stewart has a real talent at capturing what happened and then framing it 180 degrees from reality.; 5/5/13, 8:49 AM
Shouting Thomas said...: No, Althouse.

Incidentally, a male authority figure putting his foot down and saying "No" to you is precisely what you're yearning for. You're completely out of control in your erotic fantasies about men getting it on. I'd suggest a trip to the whorehouse.

Cut the bullshit, Althouse. You've become pretty tiresome. Answer the questions that are really obsessing you, instead of sidestepping it with the intellectual crapola. Here they are.

1. What in the hell am I supposed to say to a son who wants to tell me about sucking cock when what I really want is grandchildren?

2. Why do I keep eliding over any discussion of the Biblical plague gay men visited upon us?

3. What is my role in my son announcing to me he's gay?

The proper role, by the way, is to instill in your child his duty to fulfill his filial obligation to give you grandchildren. No, your son's desire to express himself and be open about himself doesn't amount to shit. Your delusions about this are at the core of the congratsturbating.

The congratsturbating is precisely in this bullshit pretense that this is an intellectual issue to you.

What a crock!

I'll say "No" to you as many times as you like, Althouse. As I said, it's precisely what you are aching for.; 5/5/13, 8:59 AM
DADvocate said...: What is it when you create a problem that affects millions of people and then masturbate without fixing anything?; 5/5/13, 9:12 AM
Shouting Thomas said...: So, Althouse, here's my standing offer.

Anytime you need a male to tell you "No" over your spoiled brat feminism and gay worship, I'm here to help.

I'll give you my phone number. I'll tell you "No" as many times as you like.

I'm an old fashioned dad. Doesn't bother me at all to absorb the tantrums.; 5/5/13, 9:14 AM
Scott said...: This thread is lameassturbation.; 5/5/13, 9:39 AM
ndspinelli said...: Annie would rather hear puppies being slaughtered than, "no."; 5/5/13, 9:40 AM
Scott said...: This thread is lameassturbation.; 5/5/13, 9:40 AM
edutcher said...: With all respect to both parties, I'd say Ann rarely, if ever, congratsturbates.

She does like to play the concern troll, warning us Republicans, libertarians, and conservatives, how we'll be on the wrong side of history if we don't fall in line on same sex marriage, but I don't think that's the same thing.

And to think Ann was wondering, with just a hint of concern, what had happened to Shout.; 5/5/13, 9:42 AM
ndspinelli said...: edutcher, You're as predictable as the sunset.; 5/5/13, 9:54 AM
ndspinelli said...: Just not as interesting.; 5/5/13, 9:54 AM
Unknown said...: Who said they missed ST again?
Are you still missing him?; 5/5/13, 9:56 AM
edutcher said...: ndspinelli said...

edutcher, You're as predictable as the sunset.

Just not as interesting.

Same can be said about you. Maybe even more so.

PS Funny, I get quoted here more than you, also.; 5/5/13, 10:00 AM
ndspinelli said...: I didn't know people kept score on that inane stuff!; 5/5/13, 10:10 AM
edutcher said...: It appears you do.; 5/5/13, 10:16 AM
Cody Jarrett said...: Well shit on toast, ed-t, Inga probably gets quoted more than the both of you, and fucking Ritmo gets quoted more than she does.

What the fuck exactly does that kind of stupid bullshit prove?; 5/5/13, 10:33 AM
ndspinelli said...: CEO, He's quite needy, and really pathetic. Just like Inga. At least Inga has a boat and is out on it when the weather is nice.; 5/5/13, 10:46 AM
ndspinelli said...: This guy has no life other than this.; 5/5/13, 10:46 AM
MadisonMan said...: instill in your child his duty to fulfill his filial obligation to give you grandchildren

Oh for God's sake.

I hope your kids can meet your lofty expectations.; 5/5/13, 10:53 AM
kathleen said...: expectations of grandchildren are "lofty" now?

it's worse than I thought.; 5/5/13, 11:23 AM
As my whimsy leads me.. said...: So much grouchiness today. I'm gonna put all of y'all down for a nap.

Toy; 5/5/13, 11:43 AM
As my whimsy leads me.. said...: So much grouchiness today. I'm gonna put all of y'all down for a nap.

Toy; 5/5/13, 11:44 AM
Anonymous said...: Isn't it our duty as a parent to give our children wings to be and do what they see fit as adults? Self actualization. Our children owe us grandchildren? This isnt ancient China. Absurd.

It only makes sense if one is the center of one's own universe.; 5/5/13, 12:08 PM
kathleen said...: How do I make myself the center of the universe by hoping for continuity of the species?; 5/5/13, 12:18 PM
Shouting Thomas said...: Isn't it our duty as a parent to give our children wings to be and do what they see fit as adults? Self actualization. Our children owe us grandchildren? This isnt ancient China. Absurd.

It only makes sense if one is the center of one's own universe.

Stupidity so dense and global that I can't even begin to think of a way to answer it.; 5/5/13, 12:33 PM
MadisonMan said...: Stupidity so dense and global that I can't even begin to think of a way to answer it.

Look in the mirror. The answer will come to you.; 5/5/13, 1:37 PM
edutcher said...: CEO-MMP said...

Well shit on toast, ed-t, Inga probably gets quoted more than the both of you, and fucking Ritmo gets quoted more than she does.

What the fuck exactly does that kind of stupid bullshit prove?

If CEO had been paying attention, he'd know nd said I rebutted his claim as to my ability to be interesting (and nd really didn't have a comeback), but he seems to still be mad because somebody disagreed with him.

The Sunday crowd here really needs some anger management.

ndspinelli said...

CEO, He's quite needy, and really pathetic. Just like Inga. At least Inga has a boat and is out on it when the weather is nice.

I'm not the one who spends all his time picking fights with the blogress.

This guy has no life other than this.

This from someone who holds a grudge against a woman for, what?, 2 years for imposing her rules on her blog when the conversation bogged down.

PS Looks like we have another circle jerk forming.; 5/5/13, 5:07 PM
Gahrie said...: Isn't it our duty as a parent to give our children wings to be and do what they see fit as adults? Self actualization. Our children owe us grandchildren? This isnt ancient China. Absurd.

It only makes sense if one is the center of one's own universe.

Actually, the idea that one does not have a duty to family, community and ancestors is pretty self centered.; 5/5/13, 6:43 PM
kentuckyliz said...: 1. What in the hell am I supposed to say to a son who wants to tell me about sucking cock when what I really want is grandchildren?

Did you know that you do not achieve reproductive success when you have children? Even if they grow up to adulthood.

You achieve reproductive success when you have GRANDCHILDREN.; 5/6/13, 6:30 AM