Althouse: "If you don't think becoming a lawyer is the correct life choice for anyone ever, you have probably snorted, laughed..."

September 28, 2012

"If you don't think becoming a lawyer is the correct life choice for anyone ever, you have probably snorted, laughed..."

"... and said the following things to a lawyer-in-training: that I will become a professional liar, that I will have to sleep my way into a partnership or a good job or a higher salary because I am a woman, that I will have to wear suits 24/7, that my life won't really be like the show Suits even though I pray to the Jew god for that daily (but who doesn't want to work with Harvey Specter?!!), that I will hate my life and become an alcoholic and/or kill myself one day, and that I will make six-figures or be forced to work as volunteer in public interest law."

Some scribbling I read at XOJane because Above the Law said: "A tipster writes: 'PLEASE address this trash pile of an article… I’m begging you.' Well, here you go."

27 comments:

Tregonsee said...: No problem with being a lawyer. Just don't be the type that gives the other 5% a bad name.; 9/28/12, 8:18 AM
Shouting Thomas said...: About 80% of the male lawyers I met fresh out of law school dreamed of making a big killing within a few years, quitting...

And becoming the Next Bob Dylan!

The closest I've seen to anybody achieving this is a guy I know in Woodstock who started a successful business giving stringed instrument lessons out of a shop in town.; 9/28/12, 8:21 AM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: Might this article come back to hunt her.. say in a future where she might be facing a Judiciary Committee?; 9/28/12, 8:27 AM
Anonymous said...: My best bud is a business lawyer. And he once uttered something that I've found to be very true over the years.

"The law does not come cheap and the only thing more expensive than a having lawyer is not having one."; 9/28/12, 8:29 AM
NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...: Lawyers are scumbags until you need one.; 9/28/12, 8:29 AM
Shouting Thomas said...: I actually witnessed this back when I worked at the white shoe corporate law firm in NYC...

One of my friends made partner, raked in the gazillion bucks for a few years...

Then chucked it all to buy a huge property in Montana and retire to do whatever in the hell it was he'd originally wanted to do.

Whatever that was. I can't remember now.; 9/28/12, 8:31 AM
Bob Ellison said...: I know a lawyer who's now running a prominent charity dedicated to preserving and promoting appreciation of wildlife and wildlife habitats. Lawyers do sometimes get to enjoy lofty pursuits. Heck, isn't the Professor doing that here?; 9/28/12, 8:38 AM
Bob Boyd said...: A lawyer and a necrophiliac are walking down the street. Ahead of them is a gorgeous blond. Suddenly the blond collapses on the sidewalk. The necrophiliac is on her in shot. He slaps his hand on her juggler, checks for a pulse and shouts triumphantly, "She's dead!"
The lawyer asks, "What do we do?"
"We screw her!" says the necrophiliac.
The lawyer looks puzzled and asks, "Out of what?"; 9/28/12, 8:38 AM
Patrick said...: I'm trying to figure out the woman's motivation for publishing this piece. I can understand the writing - I've written trite stuff to motivate myself (or try) or sort out feelings or to come up with approaches to the various problems in my life.
But publishing it seems kind of needy and juvenile.

This "I am Law Student, hear me roar!" thing will come up on Google anytime an employer considers her. They will know her attitude toward lawyers, and they will know that she is anxious and defensive rather than competent and confident.

Plus, they will know she won't sleep with them.

I would think those are not things you'd want to lead with in selling yourself to an employer. (The not sleeping with them thing should be ok, but I bet it won't help in lots of cases).; 9/28/12, 8:41 AM
Shouting Thomas said...: Please... more lawyer jokes!; 9/28/12, 8:43 AM
Bob Ellison said...: I was raised half Jewish and half Catholic. When I'd go to confession, I'd say "Bless me, father, for I have sinned -- and you know my attorney, Mr. Cohen." (Bill Maher); 9/28/12, 8:51 AM
Bob Boyd said...: A lawyer gets on an elevator. The only other occupant is beautiful woman. As they're riding up the woman says in sultry voice, "If you push the emergency stop, I'll give you a blow job."
The lawyer thinks for a second then replies, "What's in it for me?"; 9/28/12, 8:53 AM
Tibore said...: Meh. I don't see what the big deal is. She's basically telling readers that there are folks out there who think she's a sellout for becoming a lawyer, who have misconceptions about what the profession is all about, and that it's possible for her to have motives behind choosing that profession other than wealth and possessions.

"I won't lie (or maybe I will, ha!), I am learning how to use the law to help my future clients. I'm learning how to be a professional manipulator of the facts and an interpreter of the law, but I will in no way become a bloodsucking scumbag attorney who just bills hours so I can buy another Porsche for my over-sized garage in my over-sized six-bed/six-bath house."

That reads like she's deflating a misconception to me, not that she's characterizing other lawyers as actually being this way.

Sure, she sounds a tad self-absorbed in her column, but if I had people telling me my job was about avarice, I'd be complaining from a "Me" point of view too.

I just don't see what the big deal is about the piece.; 9/28/12, 8:59 AM
Bob Boyd said...: When you need a lawyer, you don't want a nice guy.
You just want to open the cage and point.; 9/28/12, 9:07 AM
wyo sis said...: "I won't lie (or maybe I will, ha!), I am learning how to use the law to help my future clients. I'm learning how to be a professional manipulator of the facts and an interpreter of the law, but I will in no way become a bloodsucking scumbag attorney who just bills hours so I can buy another Porsche for my over-sized garage in my over-sized six-bed/six-bath house."

So, she's saying I'm going to br a liar, but not a lying scumbag. It's good to be able to define yourself.; 9/28/12, 9:10 AM
Bruce Hayden said...: So, she's saying I'm going to br a liar, but not a lying scumbag. It's good to be able to define yourself.

The problem there is that from the point of view of actually lying, Attorneys are probably the most honest professionals. The real problem is more what you pointed out, that they become professional manipulators of facts.

Which brings me to my own story about attorneys and lying. Maybe 45 years ago, my father was pulled over for speeding. The cop asked him if he was speeding, and my father said yes. I asked him later why he admitted it, and his response was that, as a lawyer, he had to.

The problem is rarely really with lawyers actually telling bald faced lies, which will get them disciplined, but rather, shaving what they say so closely that while they don't actually lie, they may lead the other parties to the opposite conclusions than they would have, if they had been fully forthcoming with what they said. Rarely, of course, do we see this taken to the extreme that Bill Clinton did, proclaiming that it depended on what "is" is, and that receiving a blow job wasn't a sexual act, etc.

Of course, after awhile, you just stop thinking about it, at least most of the time. Instead of listening for what you think someone said, you listen to what they didn't say, and what what they said was supposed to imply, but really didn't. Which is to say that lawyers become professional skilled cynics.; 9/28/12, 9:40 AM
Larry J said...: John Lynch said...
Lawyers are scumbags until you need one.

Oh, they're still scumbags, only they became necessary scumbags. With roughly one out of every 300 Americans being a lawyer (an insane figure), they've wormed their way into every aspect of life like a swarm of parasites sucking the life out of the host organism.; 9/28/12, 9:48 AM
wyo sis said...: Lawyers are necessary scumbags because they speak that legal word parsing fact shaving language that normal truth telling people don't get. If you need a paragraph to explain why something isn't lying and another lawyer to be able to read it you're a little too close to the edge.
Stepping right up to the line repeatedly eventually results in stepping over the line.; 9/28/12, 9:55 AM
FleetUSA said...: The problem with becoming a lawyer is that you don't necessarily get to choose what your area of practice will be. It all depends on grades, focus, and ambition. There are a lot of lousy legal jobs and plenty of average lawyers to fill them.; 9/28/12, 10:21 AM
edutcher said...: The Blonde's lawyer once said, "Just once, I'd like people to think of the lawyer as the good guy".

She, of course, was originally a nurse.; 9/28/12, 10:24 AM
Anonymous said...: I love lawyers, my daughter is one. Her female friends who work for private practices do put in incredibly long hours, have tremendous stress levels and some have lost their jobs with the economic downturn, yes that affected young new lawyers.

I agree with Bruce Hayden, they are probably one of the most honest of the professions, but do know how to look at things from all angles and every angle has some truth.; 9/28/12, 11:10 AM
Smilin' Jack said...: ""If you don't think becoming a lawyer is the correct life choice for anyone ever...""

Well, that's a bit extreme. It might have been the correct choice for, say, Hitler.; 9/28/12, 1:21 PM
Balfegor said...: Re: Bruce Hayden:

Rarely, of course, do we see this taken to the extreme that Bill Clinton did, proclaiming that it depended on what "is" is, and that receiving a blow job wasn't a sexual act, etc.

Well yes, because as you point out, lawyers like to stay on the side of the line that does not involve getting disciplined.; 9/28/12, 2:35 PM
wyo sis said...: You really have to appreciate how lawyers make life better for us by parsing words and justifying dishonesty and immorality.
Just this past month several 8th grade students in our school were disciplined for having oral sex on the bus during a field trip. But, rest assured they all were happy to know it wasn't really sex. You know, it's OK for a president so it's not that bad. These kids grew up in the world Bill Clinton and word parsing lawyers. put in place. Oh, happy day.; 9/28/12, 3:14 PM
The Godfather said...: I've been a lawyer for 44 years. I've met and worked with many, many, MANY lawyers. The vast majority of them are decent, honest people (a bit boring, perhaps, to non-lawyers, but so are accountants and dentists). I have enjoyed my practice, and I cannot think of any other job that (a)I would enjoy more and (b) be qualified to do.

So, I would NOT say, Let's kill all the lawyers. I would say, let's not elect them to public office. Many of the problems we face in this country is that we have laws written by lawyers. We'd be much better off having laws written by regular people, who would ask, How would this law affect me or people I know? Rather than, What new practice group can my firm develop if we pass this law?; 9/28/12, 5:10 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Lawyers are scumbags until you need one.

But then, you likely need one because another one is a scumbag.; 9/28/12, 5:16 PM
Tyrone Slothrop said...: I went back to college at the ripe age of 25. Because I was older than most undergrads, my friends, rugby teammates and drinking buddies, were students at the law school attached to the university. I noticed an interesting phenomenon. L1's were idealists who were going to change the world for the better. By the time they reached L3, most of them had evolved a cynical belief that laws were for people who didn't know the secret passageways around them. I learned a lot about lawyers back then.; 9/28/12, 5:21 PM