Althouse: Dolphins are snobs.

August 1, 2012

Dolphins are snobs.

Don't let those phony "smiles" fool you.

25 comments:

Rob said...: Remember, a world without dolphins would be porpoiseless.; 8/1/12, 11:16 AM
Edmund said...: As Jonathan Coulton put it:
"And the dolphins are all phonies
They seem nice enough at first
But they pretend to be your friend
Until they see you at your worst and then they leave you
Without a word they swim away."

See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RFEzpUsUBk; 8/1/12, 11:17 AM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: See...Romney is right. It IS the culture.

The sponge using culture in some dolphins that makes them more successful and the insane terrorist culture in Palestinians that makes them the pathetic losers that they are.; 8/1/12, 11:22 AM
Kev said...: (the other kev)

And according to Jessica Alba, they're horny bastards, too.; 8/1/12, 11:23 AM
edutcher said...: The Blonde swam with the dolphins and they liked her.; 8/1/12, 11:27 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "The Blonde swam with the dolphins and they liked her."

As long as she liked them... right? Some swimmers with dolphins feel the dolphins are trying to rape them.; 8/1/12, 11:29 AM
lgv said...: I've spent time chasing, swimming, photographing and filming dolphins in the Bahamas. They can be quite playful at times. This does not mean they are "nice". They are quite the opposite.

Once in a while you will see a single Atlantic Spinner Dolphin (more pleasant) within a pod of Bottle Nose Dolphin (not so nice). The Atlantic Spinner is being kept as a sex slave by the Bottle Nose.

Stuff they didn't tell you on Flipper.; 8/1/12, 11:37 AM
Curious George said...: Obamadoplhin is gonna change that shit.; 8/1/12, 11:39 AM
Bryan C said...: Shhh! Dolphins are really smart. But touchy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9Rqu4ZEAtY; 8/1/12, 11:53 AM
lemondog said...: Get out!

This is our surf!; 8/1/12, 12:02 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: I called those guys about swimming with them. As I was connected a voice said the call will be recorded and possibly be used for training porpoises.; 8/1/12, 12:27 PM
Carnifex said...: GAH!! You people with your dolphin hating. Anyone with a soul knows dolphins are way smarter than humans. Afterall, do they call it Anthropomorphic Global Warming, or Tursioptic Global Warming? Has a dolphin shot and killed innocents like Trayvon Martin? Have dolhins committed World Wars?

I ask you, seriously, who is smarter.

Ps.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

/sarc; 8/1/12, 12:38 PM
Nonapod said...: They found the useful tool had first been used by a single dolphin nicknamed “Sponging Eve”, after she scrape her nose while foraging for food in rough sand.

To solve the problem, she broke off a piece of sea sponge to protect her, going on to teach the behaviour to her offsping.

But two decades later, knowledge of the tool had not spread among the whole dolphin population in the area.
Clearly she didn't think a lot of other dolphins were "sponge worthy"; 8/1/12, 12:43 PM
wyo sis said...: Dolphins think the're so much better than everyone else. So, you have a sponge! You didn't build that.

Sorry, someone had to say it.; 8/1/12, 12:59 PM
edutcher said...: Ann Althouse said...

The Blonde swam with the dolphins and they liked her.

As long as she liked them... right? Some swimmers with dolphins feel the dolphins are trying to rape them.

They got along just fine; exchanged business cards and everything.

Seriously, she loved it and wished she had more time with them.; 8/1/12, 1:07 PM
Rob said...: Does the sponge gap between haves and have-nots require Government intervention to level the swimming field? Or are "spongers" just another way of saying "freeloaders"?; 8/1/12, 1:13 PM
MadisonMan said...: The 'animals are jerks' tag will always get a chuckle from me.; 8/1/12, 2:10 PM
Michael K said...: "As long as she liked them... right? Some swimmers with dolphins feel the dolphins are trying to rape them."

If you are swimming with dolphins, you won't see sharks. Dolphins really don't like sharks and will drive them away. In Western Australia, north of Freemantle, there is a large bay where people wade out far from shore and swim with the dolphins that populate that bay. If you know about Australia, you know that NO ONE swims offshore because of the sharks. The exception is that bay.; 8/1/12, 2:33 PM
traditionalguy said...: Dolphins are mammals who rape other female mammals that intentionally do not swim faster than the males do.

Speaking of rape, Harry Reid now says he was was told by an elite Flipper from the Grand Caymans dolphin clan that Mitt Romney is really an evolved dolphin who uses his genetic phony smile to seek elite dolphin Rule using dolphin knowledge of hidden pirate ship gold on the ocean floor, and it's all in his secret tax returns under schedule K of Mahi-Mahi Investors Swiss Gold holdings.

What did you think the Golden Plates now hidden in the Temple in Salt lake City really told Joseph Smith?

And I bet you've never saw the Count of Monte Cristo file a French tax return, have you? No! But dumb Dolphin dumb Mitt is so righteous that he filed and paid taxes on it.

Dan Brown also warns everyone that it is dangerous to tell this fact.; 8/1/12, 2:42 PM
Carnifex said...: Dophins never built nucular arms. You can't hug your children with nucular arms.

yes I know. I'm goeing for a "voice" here.; 8/1/12, 2:51 PM
ndspinelli said...: Dolphins swim around surfers and play, even surfing alongside them. That hurts the ego of even the best surfers. Last winter was a banner year for watching dolphins[pods of over 100 were seen] in San Diego. Even from a distance, when you see them playing and teaching their young pups it's remarkable.; 8/1/12, 3:12 PM
Penny said...: Sponges are the simplest animals.

Getting ahead on the noses of dolphins!; 8/1/12, 5:36 PM
rcocean said...: "Some swimmers with dolphins feel the dolphins are trying to rape them."

How would that work exactly? Dolphin human rape seems rather uh, difficult. But maybe you're not talking about "rape rape".; 8/1/12, 7:53 PM
rcocean said...: Next you'll be accusing "flipper" of being a child rapist.; 8/1/12, 7:54 PM
Carnifex said...: Jerry Sandusky was a dolphin. Many peop;le didn't know that until he gave a halftime talk wherein he said, "click click click, screech whistle click, pop click whistle." The team came out of the locker room, and following his instructions to a tee, went on to throttle my beloved Wildcats in the Chik-fil-A Bowl.

You can't make synchronicity like this up. It lacks vermicelli.; 8/1/12, 9:48 PM