June 16, 2012

"The best punishment for a man who would take your wife is to let him have her."

A tl;dr summary to something that was actually not too long responding to a call for "instant karma" stories.


AllieOop said...

Oh how I wished instant karma on to certain people. Never did happen instantly, but more often than not, it did happen. Sometimes even years later, but it didn't make it any less sweet. It was worth the wait.

Uh oh, did I create bad karma for myself?

edutcher said...

That's hardly instant.

More like the oft-quoted Klingon proverb.

Instant karma is watching a guy who just told you he screwed you out of your life savings get hit by an 18-wheeler that dragged him, still living, for about 8 blocks before they realized they had acquired a passenger as he crossed the street walking away from you.

Sorin said...

The idea that a man can take a woman away in this culture negates the idea that women are free to choose their partners. This guy made a wise decision taking the kids and staying out of her life in spite of thinking that some guy stole her away. Good for him. Hardly a karma story but a good example that we live by the results of our actions.

Patrick said...

I try to not wish "karma" or other deserved (seemingly fate on others. (Fail too often). I always grapple with the question for myself: do I really want what I deserve?

ndspinelli said...

A few months ago I was @ an OTB parlor playing the horses. This guy who is always there and very knowledgeable starts up a conversation w/ me. Another guy joins in and the topic turns to wives. This older man[~70] tells us both he killed his wife in Milwaukee and got away w/ it. She was cheating on him and more importantly, took a lot of his money. He stated he hired a good criminal attorney and beat it. He also said he had a bench trial which would certainly be unusual. I didn't get his name but my gut tells me he was probably speaking the truth. From what he said, it would have occurred in the 80's or 90's. No karma yet for him. He was not a bit remorseful, actually quite proud.

I pointed out the guy to my bride when we were playing the Belmont[she picked the winner] and she said she didn't think he was a killer.

traditionalguy said...

Is there such a thing as a curse that tracks you down?

If so, then God's promise of punishment for adultery may be inescapable.

That raises a question for the divorce lawyers status. The general hatred for lawyers has certinly bloomed since Divorce became common instead of a rare event.

edutcher said...

Patrick said...

I try to not wish "karma"

Too often it comes back on you.

Bob said...

The quote sounds like it might have came from Groucho Marx, or maybe W.C. Fields.

Kev said...

(the other kev)

This older man[~70] tells us both he killed his wife in Milwaukee and got away w/ it. She was cheating on him and more importantly, took a lot of his money. He stated he hired a good criminal attorney and beat it. He also said he had a bench trial which would certainly be unusual. I didn't get his name but my gut tells me he was probably speaking the truth.

The Hell with his name, did you get the name of his attorney?

I, um, have a friend who might be looking for one.

Scott M said...

More like the oft-quoted Klingon proverb.

Shakespeare is better when read its original Klingon.

Infidelity in marriage, despite would pop culture would have you believe, is not inevitable and it causes that worst of human experiences...suffering. That non-physical awfulness that gets so close to actual pain, but never quite becomes tangible.

ricpic said...

No matter how hot she looks, somewhere there is some guy who's already tired of her shit.

hamcentral said...

Professor, I already read Reddit on a daily basis. Your "news" items are more interesting. I've also spent too much time arguing with liberals and progressives on that site. I think the users skew younger. And dumber.

Maguro said...

The quote sounds like it might have came from Groucho Marx, or maybe W.C. Fields.

"Take my wife...please"

- Henny Youngman

greenlantern said...

Great Star Trek Quotes:
"Ston, she is yours. You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. This is not logical, but it is often true." -- Spock (Amok Time)88

Ann Althouse said...

"That's hardly instant."

Depends on the woman.

Indigo Red said...

Having dated a woman with a very young daughter for several years, I proposed marriage. In turn, she requested thinking time - generally a bad sign, but I agreed because love will blind ever so despicably. In a while, she said she wasn't ready, but please, ask again in a few months which I did. Her reply then was she would never marry anyone. Devastation.

Days later in a Target parking lot I ran into her being very friendly with a tall, fit, rough looking man. Now, I have a muscular-skeletal disability that never seemed to have bothered her. Early on in our time she had told of wanting another child. Only two months after the September Target encounter, she came to my apartment informing me of her upcoming May nuptials with parking lot man. Still having strong feelings and having been denied before by others, I wanted to know why him not me. Small favors, she told me.

After reminding me she wanted children, here's the dialogue with direct quotes, "You can't give me another child." Stunned, I stammered out an erudite, "Huh?" She, "People like you can't make babies." Again showing presence of mind and a university education, "Huh?" "Well, you know - crippled people." Feeling as though I was standing in a pool of my own blood, I was numbed into silence.

She and parking lot man have been married a long time with no child produced. Both tested for the problem with the result that he is totally sterile - always had been. Though I have no kids to give me lovingly ugly ties tomorrow morn, I am quite normal in that area. I know for I did the cup test for my own peace of mind.

Certainly not instant karma, but karma nonetheless. More karmic humor is that he and I are good friends talking often while she and I seldom talk.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Karma story. My first husband (over 20 years ago) was cheating on me with someone that I thought was a friend of mine. Long story short...I threw him and his crap out of the house he moved in with her....and while I was in the process of divorcing him.....His new 'love' was caught flagrantly screwing around on him and he was devastated.

Bwahahahaha....Karma. Put a big smile on my face.

Chip Ahoy said...

There were some really good instant karma threads in that link.

Some stories are quite long but have no tl;dr, it took awhile to realize the tl;dr is provided by the person relating the story, they're giving their usual story plus a short one. Silly geese, the short version is provided after the long version and the dr part means 'didn't read' anyway which is completely dismissive, not partially dismissive. That's why it's funny.

The spoiled rotten little kids buying games is a god thread, and the one about the law student who was Axe-bombed during finals but produced an Israeli gas mask has a nice twist ending sufficiently coincidental and satisfying as to verge on solid irony. Those are my favorites.

One I read in the newspaper a long time ago when I still used to do that. A New Mexico man caught a mouse still alive. The man was burning trash so he tossed the mouse onto the fire. In an instant, the mouse caght fire which freed it from the trap and it raced on fire back into the house, into its hidey-hole inside the wall and the house being timber burned right down. Blam. Burned.

So the poor thing died.

leslyn said...

@Indigo Red: Sounds like you're better off, at least away from that woman. How stupid does a person have to be to think that physical disability and male infertility are related?

Well, maybe if you're Lorena Bobbitt....

William said...

There was a guy who did me a bad turn. He was truly despicable, and I hated him. Even after the bad turn, I went to his assistance after his despicable personality caused someone to try to take him down. I saved him from a beating. That's the kind of noble person I am, and that's why his bad turn to me was so extraordinarily despicable. Afterwards, there was a kind of double reverse karma going on. He didn't like me, but he had to be grateful and thankful for my assistance. I don't know if that hurt him so much as a beating, but, for me, it was more pleasuable than watching him get beat up. There's something to that injunction about loving your enemies because it heaps coals of fire upon them.

PatCA said...

"Take my wife...please."

Old joke. Still true I guess.

Jason said...

After being devastated by a couple of breakups, while young, and realizing I could be happy while single and my happiness didn't depend on someone else, I stopped getting jealous or worried about infidelity.

I figured... and I've told my romantic interests as much... "if I can't trust you with another guy when I'm not there, he's welcome to you."

paul a'barge said...

tl;dr == too long;didn't read

rick said...

Ex-spouse ran off with an executive for a large, local company. Company was bought out, he got canned. Still not working.

I moved out to the country, bought 40 acres (no mule). Subsequently, discovered oil on the property and have since drilled 3 producing oil wells.

Oh yeah, I was on the frack rig when they were fracked. What an experience.

Foose said...

If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em - you'll swing, on my oath!
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er - that's Hell for them both
And you're shut o' the curse of the soldier.

Curse, curse, curse of the soldier,
Curse, curse, curse of the soldier,
Curse, curse, curse of the soldier,
So-oldier OF the Queen!

From Kipling's The Young British Soldier

Paul Kirchner said...

This post reminds me of a historical anecdote from the annals of dueling.

In 1823, while he was in Paris, Sir Thomas Brudenell met and fell in love with the notoriouslt extravagant Elizabeth Johnstone, the estranged wife of a Captain Johnstone. The pair eloped and set up house at Versailles. In June 1824 Captain Johnstone started the divorce process; Brudenell did not offer any defense and did not appear at the court hearing.

After the trial, Brudenell wrote to Johnstone, offering to give him satisfaction by fighting a duel. Johnstone told the messenger, "Tell Lord Brudenell that he he has already given me satisfaction: the satisfaction of having removed the most damned bad-tempered and extravagant bitch in the kingdom."

Roman said...

In my case, though not everyone's, It is better to have loved and lost, than loved and won.

I found out after out divorce my ex was cheating on me, which is good as I may have done something I would have regretted. She moved to Florida, thus my favorite season is hurricane season.

Harold said...

Advice I saw in a men's mag a few months back:

"If she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you."

Advice I saw in a column for women a few days later:

"If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you."

Basic human truth, once a liar, always a liar.

On karma, an old saying goes, "The best revenge is to outlive your enemies." At the ripe old age of 58, I sometimes enjoy the obituaties just a little too much. Reading one the other day led to the discovery that "died suddenly at home" means "shot himself in the head". Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy- really.

Methadras said...

The concept of karma is nice to hold onto, but total bullshit in reality since it DOESN'T EXIST!!! Good people behave badly. Sometimes bad people behave goodly. Neither has this magical balancing scale measuring the amount of good or bad one does or does not do. Keeping score that way is fucked up. It will just make you miserable.

Saint Croix said...

This older man[~70] tells us both he killed his wife in Milwaukee and got away w/ it. No karma yet for him.

Karma's what you talk about when you think there's no hell. We thirst for justice. But we often find that there's little justice in the world.

Sometimes bad guys win. Good girls lose. Murders happen. Rapes happen. Babies are killed by doctors. There's just all kinds of fucked up shit that happens in life.

You want to win? You got to have power. A man is bigger than a woman. A woman is bigger than her baby. Shit rolls downhill.

Consider feminism. It thirsts for justice vis-a-vis men. "I want more money. I want more power. I want my authority." But the babies get the knife. That's how feminists treat the weak and the helpless.

I think justice is beyond us. I hope for God to sort it all out, to punish the wicked and reward the righteous. And then I worry about my own sins, and I wonder where justice will find me. I want mercy for me and justice for other people. And I realize how insane that is.

rick said...

Grace: Receiving something we do not deserve.

Mercy: Not getting what we deserve.

Saint Croix said...

Grace: Receiving something we do not deserve

Christianity is mind-blowing. This book explores one of Jesus' most amazing parables, about the prodigal son.

A bad man does all sorts of bad things. Takes money from his family. Spends it on whores. And of course since there's no birth control in ancient Rome, and infanticide is widely practiced, I just assume that he's responsible for infanticides, too.

He's a bad man who has done bad things. And he's accepted by God.

I find it mind-blowing, utterly. It's positively scary how the pursuit of morality can cut you off from God.