"The accidental poetry of American Kennel Club breed standards."
Oh, I wouldn't say "accidental."
AND: A quiz: "Westminster Champion or Line From Ginsberg’s 'Howl'?" Hint: McMagic’s Candied Ham of Pebbles Run is a dog. Starry Dynamo in the Machinery of Night is Ginsberg.
February 13, 2012
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7 comments:
Loyalty staring back at you.
Not liking rain is said to be in the Doberman breed standard.
On the value of dogs (or, specifically, of one Quoodle), from Chesterton's The Flying Inn:
Lord Ivywood would probably have sold the dog, but he consulted experts (as he did on everything he didn't understand and many things that he did), and the impression he gathered from them was that the dog, technically considered, would fetch very little; mostly, it seemed, because of the mixture of qualities it possessed. It was a sort of mongrel bull-terrier, but with rather too much of the bull-dog; and this fact seemed to weaken its price as much as it strengthened its jaw. His Lordship also gained a hazy impression that the dog might have been valuable as a watch-dog if it had not been able to follow game like a pointer; and that in the latter walk of life it would always be discredited by an unfortunate talent for swimming like a retriever.
A couple of pages on, someone addresses Quoodle: "If your tail were two inches shorter, you'd be worth a hundred pounds."
The Blonde only watches for the Yorks.
All other breeds are unworthy of attention.
She's off by one, of course, Irene.
For me, the most moving one is from the Irish Terrier standard:
There is a heedless, reckless pluck about the Irish Terrier which is characteristic, and which, coupled with the headlong dash, blind to all consequences, with which he rushes at his adversary, has earned for the breed the proud epithet of “Daredevil”. He is of good temper, most affectionate and absolutely loyal to mankind. Tender and forbearing with those he loves, this rugged, stout-hearted terrier will guard his master, his mistress and children with utter contempt for danger or hurt. His life is one continuous and eager offering of loyal and faithful companionship and devotion. He is ever on guard, and stands between his home and all that threatens.
A good recommendation I once read about Golden Retrievers was that if there were triplets in the house the dog would be three times as happy.
Maggie, an English Setter now departed, loved the snow. When she knew it was snowing she couldn't wait to get outside, and then wouldn't come when called...for hours. She would get clumps of snow between her toes and I would call her Snow Toes.
My personal favorite, the Great Midwestern Farting Beagle, was once again left out this year. From the breed standard:
"The Great Midwestern Farting Beagle is an improvement on the Lesser Traditional Beagle. In addition to the extra cranial nerve that shuts off the animal's hearing when something interesting attracts the attention of the nose, the Midwestern Farting Beagle is distinguished by the fact that from the shoulders caudally, the entire interior of the dog is occupied by colon."
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