September 15, 2011

"Get nice and rowdy. It's a 4:15 game, plenty of time to get lubed up..."

Says Tom Brady to Patriots fans.
"Yeah. Start drinking early."
A Patriots spokesperson clarifies, saying that Brady wanted fans to "stay hydrated, drink a lot of water. Be loud. Drink responsibly."

This suggests new slang. Which do you like better?
"I'm getting lubed up," when you're drinking water.
"I'm staying hydrated," when you're drinking alcohol. free polls 


traditionalguy said...

I believe that Tom was a Michigan player and unlimited beer is the shared sacrament at all Ann Arbor football gatherings. Tom is just being sociable.

Paddy O said...

No doubt, the Patriots Alcohol Policy Coordinator is peeking through Tom Brady's windows right now, and find that new ottoman that's sitting on the table rather suspicious.

ndspinelli said...

Having been to Patriot games years ago, they were in the top 3 for depraved drunkeness[Giants and Eagles completed the top 3]. However, from reports from friends who still attend, they may have taken over the #1 slot. The Eagles really cracked down and actually have a courtroom in the stadium for quick justice. I am not a prude but NFL games are out of control. I had a fan puke on me last year @ a Packer game. I just got a little splatter but this poor woman behind me got deluged. Lovely!

Calypso Facto said...

My friends and I have been using the "stay hydrated" line ever since basic training...

BJK said...

Wait, Tom Brady thinks its okay for there to be drunk people at a football game? does everybody else.

(Except the team, mind you, who cannot condone this conduct on the record, lest they be faced with a lawsuit when a 'lubricated' driver hits someone / something on their drive home.)

The very definition of a non-story.

Robert said...

Can't wait to hear Titus' take on this.

traditionalguy said...

Is beer and sports today's theme?

I blame watching Brewers games into late innings.

October Fest approaches! If the Althouse clan was from Germany, then it all begins to make sense. I can see the professor serving frothy beer mugs in a peasant blouse.

CJinPA said...

I jogged over here for word on the Walker-related FBI raids.

Bad news following his big victory on a fundamental issue.

Patrick said...

What Tom meant to say was "find that sweet spot between buying no beer (which funds a good deal of his salary) and drinking enough to cause you to puke on the unfortunate sitting next to you."

Wince said...

If Kraft's flak was really clever, he'd have said Brady was talking about sunscreen and proper hydration.

Gisele Bundchen angers health experts after calling sunscreen 'poison'

Known Unknown said...

As much as I want to hate Tom Brady, I can't.

John said...

I always thought "getting lubed up" meant something else entirely.

Toshstu said...

Hydro-Lube is the way to go.

Chip S. said...

This thread is a threat to public decency. The Madison cops should shut it down.

Henry said...

Where Tom screwed up is saying this before a San Diego Chargers game. He should have saved it for the Jets.

Fred4Pres said...

I was at a game tailgating last year and there is something disconcerting about seeing guys in their fifties with their shirts off and doing beer bongs (with one guy pouring the beers into the funnel from the top of an RV and the other guy sucking them down on the ground).

Fred4Pres said...

I did take my 8 year old son (at the time) to a Patriots game where he held up a sign, "Tom Brady Are You My Daddy?" My friend had his son pose with it. So it was two kids who looked different. Truly priceless.

I was in the first row on the 35th yard line. It was a huge hit with the cameramen but (not surprisingly) we did not get on TV with that one.

edutcher said...

I thought it meant sunscreen.

Anonymous said...

New slang?


Not popular in the Mid-West (corned up!), but certainly not new.

Brian Hancock said...

I'll drink to that!

Roger Sweeny said...

"Getting lubed" or "getting lubricated" is old slang for drinking alcohol. I first encountered it in 1969 (in Chicago, actually).

Peter V. Bella said...

Let it be known that September 15th is drinking day at Althouse. Put a keg in the window and get lubed or hydrated up.

Cody Jarrett said...

What the fuck is funny about "Tom Brady are you my daddy?" signs?

The man has two sons. He pays a shit-ton of money in child support and he and Giselle spend huge amounts of time with the first born. Giselle has even said she thinks of Jack as her own.

So what the fuck is fucking funny about a stupid sign like that?

You don't deserve to use Fred Thompson as your avatar any longer.

Curious George said...

"CEO-MMP said...
What the fuck is funny about "Tom Brady are you my daddy?" signs?"

Sounds like Brady might be your daddy dude.

Anonymous said...

"Get lubed up" sounds more like a way of getting ready for the Carson Palmer Cornhole Classic.

Michael The Magnificent said...

One of my college buddies used to refer to getting a drunk started at home before going out to the bars as getting "pre-lubricated."

Widely Seen said...

I can see why this is news enough to push out any discussion of the collapse of the euro-zone...

Fred4Pres said...

"CEO-MMP said...
What the fuck is funny about "Tom Brady are you my daddy?" signs?"

CEO-MMP, are you really Tom Brady? It is hard to explain a joke, but you had to be there. It was funny.

My wife was not thrilled with the sign, but it got a lot of funny laughs out of the fans at the game and from the opposing team. The Patriots team members were not into it either.

But my best sign (attention Trooper) was when Jeter was out several years ago on the DL for a sliding injury. I was right behind the Yankees dugout with a sign, "Slide Like Jeter!" The Yankees were not digging it, but one of them got Jeter to come out and look at it (he was still on the DL but at the game). Jeter smiled and shook his head at me.

My best prank was at a Eagles game where my friend and I dragged a green stuffed eagle on a string. We went up to every person wearing an Eagles jersey and offered them a Tastykake if they stomped on the eagle. To their credit, most Eagles fans refused to do it. But a few broke down, including a woman who declared "Gawd, I love the Eagles, but I love Taskykakes even more..."

Good times. Good times.

Chip S. said...

I can see why this is news enough to push out any discussion of the collapse of the euro-zone...

Sometimes the news just make a guy think about keggers.

Frequently, actually.

Scott said...

"Getting lubed up" has to do with gay sex. Never heard it with reference to drinking before.

Original Mike said...

My preferred slang is "12 ounce curls".

traditionalguy said...

Alcohol has always been a famous social lubricant. It loosens tongues and libidos.

Are you implying that gay sex is unnatural so that it requires using artificial lubricants?

Known Unknown said...

No wonder they call her Professor Winebox.

; )

WV: ickscons. Make of it what you will.

David said...

The beauty of the English language--so many ways to lubricate.

SJL said...

I went to a Steelers game last fall and it was very family-friendly. People were friendly & respectful. I didn't hear any swearing or see anyone drunk. And this was against the Browns.

Titus said...

Tom Brady saying get lubed up makes me horny.

Fred4Pres said...

Yes Kensington, there is a Titus...

chuckR said...

Went to only one Pats game - in the late 70's. Tons of drunks in the old stadium, late fall game, freezing cold. It's a wonder some drunks didn't freeze to the aluminum bench seats after pissing themselves.
I'll catch my football games on the flat panel at home. I'm too cheap to have better seats and I can turn off the sound of the announcers.

wv colistic - something that goes with holistic I guess...

Trooper York said...

This is just typical of the AFC East.

That supreme douchenozzle Rex Ryan told the fans to smack around the Cowbay fans last week and this one dude in a Cowboys jersey got in a fight and tazed a couple of fans.

Of course the other fans were pissed because he wouldn't stand for the National Anthem and talked on his cellphone during the moment of silence for 911. So when he wanted to go to the bathroom nobody wanted to let him out of the row. A scuffle ensued where this Cowboys fans whipped out a tazer and tazed a bunch of people. He was arrested for assault.

That's why you should not go to Jets games.

They are the worst.

RonF said...

EDH, from your "Gisele thinks sunscreen is poison" link, a doctor is quoted as saying:

"When a public person makes a statement like this, it creates confusion."

Only in the minds of people who are stupid enough to take health tips from a supermodel over what actual doctors have been yelling at us for years. It's the Darwin principle of natural selection at work.

Trooper York said...

The Giant crowd has changed a lot since ndspinelli used to go in the 1960's. The average fan's age is that of Andy Rooney.

Not much fighting going on. Just sayn.

Trooper York said...

The Eagles fans are the worst fans in all of organized sports.

They make English soccer hooligans look like pussies.

Of course they are a reason to be such drunken angry assholes.

They do after all live in Philly.

Trooper York said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Original Mike said...

Well, if you're in New York and you want to follow a winning team, it's the Jets or nothing.

Trooper York said...

The Jets are not a real winning team. This is all an illusion. They are the ultimate losers. They will just tease their fans and fall short like they always do.

Same old Jets.

Trooper York said...

Rex Ryan is a fat stupid blowhard.

Trust me I know one when I see one.

I see one in the mirror everyday. Just sayn'

Trooper York said...

In New York if you are a loser you root for the Mets, Jets and Nets.

If you want to root for class and tradition and history you root for the Yankees, Giants and Knicks.

Those are the two types of fans you have in New York.

It's that simple.

jrberg3 said...

"A Patriots spokesperson "

Is that spokesperson related to Jay Carney? That answer surely is.

TMink said...

It is fun to get tipsy at a football game. And it is legal as well. Only the nannies are engaging in faux outrage.


Fred4Pres said...

I root for Big Blue for football, but with a family and father from Brooklyn there is no way I am ever rooting for the Yankees. Since the Dodgers and Giants (baseball) abandoned NY, that leaves the Mets.

But my mom still roots for the Yankees. She used to babysit for Yogi Berra and his wife (mom lived in the same town with the Berras when she was a teenager). She said there was never any food to feed the kids when the Berras went out, just cases of Yoo-Hoo.

Fred4Pres said...

My brother in law is a cowboys fan and he grew up in NJ. He proposed to my sister at the old Cowboy Stadium. And she even said yes. I love my sister and brother in law, but that Cowboy fandom is rather sad and shameful. They are even bringing their kids up as Cowboys. Sad sad sad.

Now I have another friend of mine you married my sister's best friend. Fortunately he is a Giants fan because his current wife would not have even gone out with him if he wasn't.

Trooper is right about Giants Stadium. The fans are old. But given how expensive it is to see a game there it is not that surprising.

Trooper York said...

What happens was the tickets were handed down from father to son. So when the sons inherit the tickets they are already mature and not the type to start fights.

The Jets fans are just the douches who couldn't get Giants tickets. The Giants had a huge waiting list that unfortunately is gone now because of the seat licenses they sold with the new staduim. Many, many, many of the old line families had to give up their seats. So the demographics might change in the coming seasons.

Manty Five said...


I heard a rumor that people might be drinking and watching sports at the same time.

According to my deep-cover informants, these secret establishments are called "sports bars".

Don't tell anyone they exist, or some "spokespeople" will be paying you a little visit.


Trooper York said...

And rooting for the Mets because the Dodgers and the Giants left town is like wearing panties because you're girlfriend left you.

Fred4Pres said...

Trooper, I expect demographics to change a bit at Giants Stadium, but if you can afford those outrageous seat licenses, you can probably cannot afford getting arrested for a drunken brawl at the game.

That said, Giants Stadium never had a hooligan mentality (you would see guys wearing cowboy jerseys and they might be heckled but that was about it). And for my disgust with everything Cowboys, going to one of their home games in opposing team colors is a lesson in civility. Everyone was nice to you. Too nice. It was disconcerting with niceness. What are they up to?

Jets games always seemed to have a big Long Island thing going. Lot of Nassau County goes to Jets games.

And I agree with you that the rampant use of alcohol in Philadelphia is because the fans there live in Philadelphia or Cherry Hill/Camden. So who can blame them, it totally sucks.

Trooper York said...

You are exactly right Fred. Giant fans have something to lose. A job.

Not like most Jets fans.

I remember going to a Jets game and they were batting around an inflatable woman instead of a beach ball. And at a certain gate they would howl at passing woman to show their tits. And they would.

Classy bunch of guys. Rex Ryan is the prefect coach for them.

Fred4Pres said...

Trooper York said...
And rooting for the Mets because the Dodgers and the Giants left town is like wearing panties because you're girlfriend left you.

9/15/11 3:11 PM

That is the meanest things you have ever said. I might sniff an old girlfriend's panties but I would not wear them.

That said, I love the Mets. There were no Dodgers of Giants for me, just old Willie Mays. And then Seaver. And Carter and the boys. I loved shitty old Shea. The cops used to let you in for a $5 tip after the first inning.

Fred4Pres said...

Q: What has 400 feet and 3 teeth?
A: The first row of the bleachers at Yankee Stadium.

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Yankees players on them ...people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: If you see a Yankees fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: There's a good chance it's your bicycle.

Q: What do Yankees fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What do you have when 100 Yankees fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Yankees fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What do Yankees fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Yankees fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Yankees Fan.......Twice!

Q: A Yankee fan and a Jet fan jump off of a bridge. Who falls first?
A: Who cares!?

Q: How do you get a Yankee fans eyes to light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear!

Driving with a Yankee fan
Q: Why is it good to be driving with a Yankee fan?
A: You can park in the handicap zone!

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and a smart Yankee fan?
A: Big Foot has been sighted before!

Q: How do you make a Yankee fan laugh on Monday?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday!

Q: How can you tell if a Yankee fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!

Q: How can you tell if a Yankee fan has been using your computer?
A: There is whiteout on your screen!

Q: How can you tell when George Steinbrenner is lying?
A: His lips are moving!

Q: What's the biggest challenge for the Yankees marketing department?
A: Literacy!

Q: Why don't Yankees players shower after home games?
A: Becuase veryone will just assume it's the city that stinks!

ndspinelli said...'re talking out of your ass again. Both the Knicks and Nets are losers. The Knicks have been winners for a few spans but certainly not of late. A better assessment is Yankee, Giant, Knicks AND RANGER FANS, are generational. Met, Jet, Net, AND DEVIL FANS, are nouveau..many are abandoned fans of the baseball Giants and Dodgers. Be straight w/ us Trooper.

The licensing fees are horseshit. A good friend of mine had Giant tickets going back to Yankee Stadium. He hated the year they had to play @ Yale and so I got some of those games. His family owned a sporting goods store in Boonton, NJ[Marcello's]. Well, the store went out of biz and he couldn't afford the licensing fees. So, last year was the first time since the 1950's they didn't have tix. I got tix for the Packer/Giant game out here but he couldn't make it since it was the day after Xmas. I'm trying to remember who won that game, Troop?

I do concur 100% about Ryan..he is a mamaluke if there ever was one.

Fred4Pres said...

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The man answers, "241."

"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"

Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The lady answers, "144."

"That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!".

Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The person answers, "51."

Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,

AllenS said...

A reporter goes to a Yankees game and asks a man cheering for the Yankees: "What do you do for a living?" The man answers: "I sell large bras."

Trooper York said...

Looks like somebody bought a Lawyers joke book and switched around a little.

Trooper York said...

It is generational nd but the fact remains that the Mets, Jets and Nets fans are your basic lowlifes. Just sayn'

Trooper York said...

I didn't include the Rangers because I hate hockey.

Fred4Pres said...

Q: What do you get when you combine all 25 yankees with 25 lesbians?
A: Fifty people that dont do dick.

It's career day in elementry school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class.

'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sex acts on them.'

The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad.

Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for the Yankees.'

Fred4Pres said...

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."

Julie C said...

Drink shmink. Out here on the west coast we just beat you to a bloody pulp at our games. Football, baseball, doesn't matter.

Raiders fans are the absolute worst.

Fred4Pres said...

West coast teams have some thugishness (obviously with the Dodgers-Giants murder, etc.). Oakland Raider fans were the model for the Reavers in Firefly.

However, in comparsion, Mariners fans are the tamest in the world, with is reflective of their team. And I do not get the feeling Angel Fans are much of a threat.

ndspinelli said...

Trooper, My bad. I often forget about that horrible time in your life and the Rikers Island incident.