A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in Madison, WI. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde law professor and blogger in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next show. He stopped at a Wisconsin farmhouse and approached the farmer who lived there.
"Hello there, Mr. Farmer, I was just passing by and I was wondering if I might speak to your dog." The farmer replied, "Well, you know, dogs don't talk." The ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a dog might tell you. Can I speak with him?"
The farmer, eyeing the ventriloquist suspiciously, called his dog. "Hi there, Mr. dog," said the ventriloquist. "How does the farmer treat you?" To which the dog replied, "Oh, he's great! He throws a stick for me, scratches my belly, and I just love him!" Needless to say, the farmer was dumbfounded.
Wanting to see if he could fool the farmer again, the ventriloquist asked if he could speak with the farmer's horse. "Well, you know, horses don't talk." Again the ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a horse might tell you."
So the farmer brought out his horse. "Say, Mr. Horse, how does the farmer treat you?" asked the ventriloquist. The horse then replied, "Oh, I think he's great. He feeds me oats, he puts a blanket over me at night, and I just love him!" Again the farmer was amazed.
Wanting to try his luck a third time, the ventriloquist said, "Mr. Farmer, would you like to hear what the sheep has to say about you?"
"Well," declared the farmer, "Sheep lie, ya' know."
When I was really young there was a time when I wanted a ventriloquist dummy, especially after watching "Lamb Chop's Play-Along." I begged my parents for one, but they could never find one in the stores!
The hip dummy is Jerry Mahoney, operated by Paul Winchell. Winchell left show-biz and became an inventor of some importance -- He invented the artificial heart.
I'm surprised no one has yet looked up Evangelist Bishop. It appears he is still alive and preaching, and will talk right at you if you visit his website, God is So Good Ministries:
Paul Winchell's probably best known to audiences today as the voice of Tigger on Disney's Winnie the Pooh cartoons in the 1980s and 90s, and as Gargamel and Dick Dasterdly on Hanna-Barbera's Snurfs and Wack Racers shows in the 1960s and 80s.
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33 comments:
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in Madison, WI. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde law professor and blogger in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
Madison of course had its own Cowboy Eddie and Howie Olson.
How many others here rememeber getting a free chocolate milkshake for being on the show and letting the microphone pass by, too shy to even say boo?
I hope the Evangelist photo is taken from some context other than as a family portrait.
A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next show. He stopped at a Wisconsin farmhouse and approached the farmer who lived there.
"Hello there, Mr. Farmer, I was just passing by and I was wondering if I might speak to your dog." The farmer replied, "Well, you know, dogs don't talk." The ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a dog might tell you. Can I speak with him?"
The farmer, eyeing the ventriloquist suspiciously, called his dog. "Hi there, Mr. dog," said the ventriloquist. "How does the farmer treat you?" To which the dog replied, "Oh, he's great! He throws a stick for me, scratches my belly, and I just love him!" Needless to say, the farmer was dumbfounded.
Wanting to see if he could fool the farmer again, the ventriloquist asked if he could speak with the farmer's horse. "Well, you know, horses don't talk." Again the ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a horse might tell you."
So the farmer brought out his horse. "Say, Mr. Horse, how does the farmer treat you?" asked the ventriloquist. The horse then replied, "Oh, I think he's great. He feeds me oats, he puts a blanket over me at night, and I just love him!" Again the farmer was amazed.
Wanting to try his luck a third time, the ventriloquist said, "Mr. Farmer, would you like to hear what the sheep has to say about you?"
"Well," declared the farmer, "Sheep lie, ya' know."
Timmaaaaayyy!
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Do you think that Evangelist and Mrs. Bishop ever did it in anything other than the "missionary position"?
Never trust a puppet
Mrs. John Bishop's name is also John. From the looks of it.
scary?
I find clowns more scary.
Howdy Doody was/is a marionette.
Hip, square.
Reminds me of
one of the worst songs ever recorded
My favorite was always Chuck and Bob from Soap
Mrs. John looks like a missionary top.
Creepy.
Yeah, I'd watch Soap just for Chuck and Bob.
Hey, they forgot a dummy!
Dennis Kucinich
The hip ones were on network TV.
Coincidence?
When I was really young there was a time when I wanted a ventriloquist dummy, especially after watching "Lamb Chop's Play-Along." I begged my parents for one, but they could never find one in the stores!
Ever see a young Anthony Hopkins play a ventriloquist, losing his mind and veering toward murder, in the movie Magic?
Creepy.
The only real Ventriloquist act is Otto and George.
"Tell is a joke Mr. Poppy."
"Sure thing Chrissy."
That's just fucking creepy.
Makes me think of Obama and TOTUS.
The hip dummy is Jerry Mahoney, operated by Paul Winchell. Winchell left show-biz and became an inventor of some importance -- He invented the artificial heart.
The ventriloquist evangelist takes the cake for me. He looks just a tad stiffer than the dummy.
Trey
Magic Trailer
The "and there is more" are some pretty terrifying dummies. They make clowns seem nice. And we know clowns are evil.
"Well," declared the farmer, "Sheep lie, ya' know."
In the tag line I heard the farmer says, "I don't know about them white ones, but that black one is a lying son of a bitch!"
Which one in Mrs. Evangelist and which "Timmy"?
With slightly larger ears, the first one could be Obama.
Damn you Pogo!
But I found this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezkx07HYylo
I'm surprised no one has yet looked up Evangelist Bishop. It appears he is still alive and preaching, and will talk right at you if you visit his website, God is So Good Ministries:
http://www.godissogood.net/
He is now blind.
Paul Winchell's probably best known to audiences today as the voice of Tigger on Disney's Winnie the Pooh cartoons in the 1980s and 90s, and as Gargamel and Dick Dasterdly on Hanna-Barbera's Snurfs and Wack Racers shows in the 1960s and 80s.
Here's the mid-1960s color opening to his "Winchell-Mahoney Time" program.
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