Althouse: The male daycare center worker who is not allowed to change diapers and "has been asked to leave the classroom when diapering was happening."

January 13, 2011

The male daycare center worker who is not allowed to change diapers and "has been asked to leave the classroom when diapering was happening."

From an article about how it's bad to be too suspicious about the possibility that a man is a pedophile.

But excluding the man from the task of diapering... Seems to me the female employees are getting the worse end — excuse the expression — of this particular discrimination.

Anyway, read the whole article. It's called "Eek! A Male!" I got interrupted in the middle of writing about it by a prompting to look at the thing everyone on the internet is supposed to look at right now that could be called "Eek! A Rat!"

82 comments:

The Crack Emcee said...: It's wild:

In France, nobody thought twice about me with their kids (being a foster child, I can change a diaper like *that*) but here, women pull them close and stare.

Unless they're airhead liberals, in which case they make a big deal of telling their kids I'm "O.K." - so much so that the kid will think they're entitled to abuse me.

"Oooh, baby, baby, it's a wild world,..."; 1/13/11, 11:46 AM
MadisonMan said...: I am suspicious. I'm suspicious about the non-first-hand story of the daycare center worker who is not allowed to change diapers. Does that really happen and if it does, what are the circumstances?

Why did the person writing this story believe her and not follow up with questions to flesh out the story? Because it fit in with the narrative being constructed.; 1/13/11, 11:47 AM
The Crack Emcee said...: Oh, by the way, "I'm French, Fuck you!"

Just wanted to get that in there.

Carry on.; 1/13/11, 11:50 AM
Anonymous said...: Time to pull out the big list of female rapists from the National Education Association to remind people that women are equally capable of child rape.

http://www.wnd.com/?pageId=39783; 1/13/11, 11:50 AM
coketown said...: I notice there's fewer and fewer lemonade stands when I drive around. When I was young (fifteen years ago), kids were fighting for corners like it was season 4 of The Wire. Nowadays in the off-chance you can even find a stand, there's always parents monitoring it from 20 feet away.

Go inside, ma'am. I'm just trying to flatter your kids' sense of accomplishment by volunteering $2-$5 for four ounces of watery lemonade (asking price $.25). I'm not here to abduct them.

Wait, no. Stay out here. Anything to keep you away from that NBC special on the dangers of lemonade stands.; 1/13/11, 11:50 AM
Unknown said...: Blighty has been afflicted with the Socialist-PC-Nanny State thing to the point of lunacy.

They have all the hate crimes, hate speech, Men Are EeeeVIL legislation the Lefties want here.

The saddest part of that article is the story of the truck driver who saw a little girl walking alone by the side of the road and was afraid to talk to her. The little girl was later found drowned.

The Lefty agenda wanted to "protect" the little girl. It possibly killed her.; 1/13/11, 11:52 AM
888 said...: Rats and bed bugs: a bachelor's legacy to New York City.; 1/13/11, 11:55 AM
TWM said...: I read this the other day and it's spot on, although this has been going on for years.

Any sane male is very careful around children these days. There are more and more women serving as Scout leaders because men are concerned about being in close contact with children and, as a result, don't volunteer as often.

And I've had more than a few conversations with women grade school teachers (I was thinking of teaching as a retirement job) who desperately wish there were more male teachers, but few men will teach at that level due to worries about being caught up in some witch-hunt. I later discussed this with a co-worker who has three young girls and she said that she would be very uncomfortable with a male teacher at the grade school level based on all the stories she's heard in the media.

All anecdotal of course, but I don't think this is a rare thing.; 1/13/11, 11:55 AM
Sigivald said...: Good news for female pedophiles, I guess?

The weirdest part about all of this is that pedophilia is so very, very rare; from the constant blathering paranoia you'd think it was some omnipresent doom hanging over every child like the sword of Damocles.

As TWM points out, it's not like there's some wave of pedophilia or child murder sweeping the nation for the past few decades.

What there is is the same constant stream of very rare incidents there've always been... and a lot more media attention.

If it bleeds, it leads, after all.

And what could possibly bleed more than that, so to speak?; 1/13/11, 12:03 PM
Jeff with one 'f' said...: This is a direct result of the feminist demonization of men. The ideal of having men share equally in child care is being undermined by the "all men are rapists and that's all they are" sect of feminists.

You can't have it both ways, ladies!; 1/13/11, 12:15 PM
Anonymous said...: @MadisonMan:

"I'm suspicious about the non-first-hand story of the daycare center worker who is not allowed to change diapers. Does that really happen . . .?"

Yes, it does, but not always with bad consequences. A couple of years ago, my church put in a women-only policy for changing diapers, not because of any problem but because of some idea of best practices.

The result? When one of us guys helps out with the little kids, we refuse to break the rule. "Gee, sorry. I'd really love to clean up that disgustingly befouled kid, but you know the policy."

Best thing that ever happened to us.; 1/13/11, 12:15 PM
YoungHegelian said...: @Sigisvald,

I, too, have spoken to mothers, and they are simply insistent that the world has become a more dangerous place for children since their youth. No evidence is ever presented, but the belief has set like cement.

I also wonder about these stories in the news where some pedophile has supposedly assaullted dozens of children and no one noticed. Where were the teachers, friends, and parents? No kids snitched? Really?

I compare with how difficult it would be to hide an adult affair from a spouse, and yet here's some perv assaulting away and no one notices.

I think pedophilia sticks in the modern moral imagination because it's the only sexual practice that modern secular culture actually can still condemn.; 1/13/11, 12:23 PM
bagoh20 said...: "Seems to me the female employees are getting the worse end"

Which has been my general feeling about women's liberation in general.; 1/13/11, 12:31 PM
Alex said...: In the wake of a few high profile cases of rape/murder of children the last few years, the world has indeed become a more dangerous place. I mean we keep hearing about this stuff in the media all the time.; 1/13/11, 12:32 PM
Anonymous said...: "Any sane male is very careful around children these days."

And there's a very, very good reason for it.

Merely an arrest for a sex crime has life-altering repercussions for a male. The assumption is that they're guilty - and if they're found innocent later on, doesn't matter really ... their life as they knew it is over.

Women know this. It's why women accuse men of molestation in child custody cases - because it works!

Thanks Ann! and the rest of your buddies in our crap legal system for putting one more nail in the coffin of our social network.; 1/13/11, 12:33 PM
Ankur said...: My SUPER-conservative mormon neighbours don't have any problems letting their 3 year old son run over to our house and hang out with us - which he does frequently. He either wants to pick apart a dollhouse that my wife made, or he wants to listen to some specific CDs that we have - and frankly, I adore that little kid. The way he says "Hi Ankur" just melts my heart, and makes me want kids of my own.

Now, my wife and I are expecting our first child - a baby girl in April. I don't imagine we will have any trouble letting her run over either when she is a toddler.

None of the grandparents are in a position to perform the grandparent role (my wife's parents are both too sick, my dad passed away some time ago and my mom lives in India). Thus, I am very grateful that I live in a neighbourhood where conservatives, liberals, moderates - are all still friends, and loving/trusting neighbours, a neighbourhood where I wouldn't have any trouble letting my kid run around and visit people.; 1/13/11, 12:34 PM
Scott M said...: I wish that I could, Ankur, but the truth is that I don't feel comfortable letting my 3-year-old or 15-month-old out of my sight beyond the walls of my house. I have great neighbors, but there's just something that won't let me do it.

On the other hand, I grew up on army bases. The places were lousy with kids running rampant and I was out tearin' it up at 4.; 1/13/11, 12:37 PM
Ankur said...: I think we have all gotten too wary about our kids these days. Our parents were a lot more relaxed...and I think we should take heed of their experiences. What cool things were WE allowed to do as kids? - and if we live in a safe neighbourhood, why shouldn't OUR kids be allowed to do the same things? climb trees (and break limbs), do other semi dangerous things?

Why must we mollycoddle them? of course, I am not a parent yet. All my opinions might change when our little girl is born.; 1/13/11, 12:41 PM
Ankur said...: Scott, I also think it helps that no one in our neighbourhood really has walls. Its a private street with a gate, so there is hardly any traffic. All the kids are always out and about running up and down the street anyway (in the summer); 1/13/11, 12:44 PM
Scott M said...: I agree and don't coddle my kids when it comes to activities and such. In fact, I have yet to (and will probably never) buy knee-pads, elbow-pads, and/or helmets for SKATING!!!!

My working theory on the coddling thing builds from my general theory that the Boomers are the most self-centered generation thus far. It's less caring for the kids and keeping them out of harm's sake for their sake, and more preventing any and all inconvenience for the Boomer. ER visits and doctor bills are extremely inconvenient, after all.; 1/13/11, 12:44 PM
Scott M said...: Its a private street with a gate, so there is hardly any traffic. All the kids are always out and about running up and down the street anyway (in the summer)

Same here, but not at the toddler age. Six or so and up.; 1/13/11, 12:45 PM
Phil 314 said...: I'm my previous church I occasionally volunteered to help in the toddler room. I was advised that there needed to be a woman in the room with me at all times (so it had to be double staffed even when we only had a couple of kids) and that I couldn't change the diaper.

-I've raised three kids, two boys and one girl.

-I've been the dutiful modern dad and have changed many diapers. (I'm now changing grandkid diapers)

-I'm a physician

Oh well, its the world we live in.; 1/13/11, 12:49 PM
MadisonMan said...: A couple of years ago, my church put in a women-only policy for changing diapers, not because of any problem but because of some idea of best practices.

I can see why that might be done in the cases of volunteers -- I'm assuming this is something like a during-the-service drop-in nursery. But didn't the Daycare center do some kind of rudimentary background check on the male they hired? If they didn't, why not? And if they did, why the added restriction?

The "journalist" writing this article was far to credulous.; 1/13/11, 12:49 PM
rhhardin said...: Rats are very loving pets, at least the pet store ones.

The pet store lady usually had one on her shoulder whenever I came in.

Norway and field rats have a little different disposition. Nazi rats, a python owner looking to strengthen the genetics of his food stock called them.; 1/13/11, 12:50 PM
holdfast said...: When I was growing up in the 80s there was actually a serial killer on the loose in our city, and yet my generally paranoid mother still let us walk home from school without supervision in grades 1 and 2. Amazing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clifford_Olson; 1/13/11, 12:50 PM
Scott M said...: @C3

Because of that sort of thing, I don't believe there is a salary high enough for me to have become a middle-school or high-school teacher the way things are. Hell, college for that matter. There's always some prof on co-ed spat bubbling away at the fringes of whatever campus one might attend.

If forced at gunpoint to be a high-school teacher, though, I would remove the door from my office immediately and install cameras everywhere...; 1/13/11, 12:55 PM
furious_a said...: Unfortunately in my house 'women-only' diaper changing was about as likely as myself assuming control of the remote during 'Oprah'.

I can still smell the diaper genie, five years hence.

Sadly, daycare center owners have to limit their liability. They all remember what happened to the Amiraults in Massachussetts and the Pastor in Weenatchee.

"Fewer lemonade stands" -- remember the old Phillips 66 "Sometimes we forget how well Capitalism Works" TV ad series? Paperboys kept their own books, managed their own inventory, made their own deliveries...and earned more money than about half the people in the world.; 1/13/11, 1:03 PM
Sofa King said...: I can see why that might be done in the cases of volunteers

Really? I can't. I mean, I could understand a 2-persons-must-be-present policy, but not a 1-female-must-always-present policy. Under what logical train of thought are females especially able to prevent child abuse or neglect?

Personally, I would quit any church that applied such a rule.; 1/13/11, 1:05 PM
The Drill SGT said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1/13/11, 1:10 PM
The Drill SGT said...: This trend has both a personal angle, which has been talked about here and a legal one which hasn't.

The trial bar has made all public service and good samaritan deeds punishable by second guessing acts where the decision cycle is seconds long.

like the politican in the basic story:

see a driver trapped in a burning car after a wreck? run into the flames to yank her free? get sued for her subsequent back injury that was a foreseeable outcome of your negilgent actions; 1/13/11, 1:12 PM
furious_a said...: Merely an arrest for a sex crime has life-altering repercussions for a male. The assumption is that they're guilty - and if they're found innocent later on, doesn't matter really ... their life as they knew it is over.

Well, except for Roman Polanski and his Show Biz BFFs. Hollywood Mulligan for pleading guilty and jumping bail.; 1/13/11, 1:18 PM
Unknown said...: Sigivald said...

Good news for female pedophiles, I guess?

Interesting point. Supposedly, your kid has a much better chance of being molested by a female union teacher than by a male (obviously) Catholic priest.; 1/13/11, 1:19 PM
bagoh20 said...: This is a real problem. A number of years ago I did quite a lot of research into how I could help people with my spare time. I considered I felt unsafe with things like Big Brothers, Boy Scouts, etc. just because I feel like a sitting duck as a single guy. Kids or their parents can simply accuse you without any evidence and you are screwed trying to prove your innocence, not just legally but also to family and friends. I decided dog rescue would get most of my time. Dogs Don't sue.

It's too bad, because I would be great with kids, and I have the time.; 1/13/11, 1:21 PM
The Drill SGT said...: I considered I felt unsafe with things like Big Brothers, Boy Scouts, etc. just because I feel like a sitting duck as a single guy.

which is such a loss, because there are a lot of kids for whom those activities, combined with a solid male authority figure, could make a life changing impact.

I'm sorry, a female Boy Scout Leader just doesn't have the right skills and equipment to impact some kids.; 1/13/11, 1:27 PM
Scott M said...: Dogs Don't sue.

For all the woe-is-us the men do on this topic, there were ads on the various daycare websites in the area posted by men that we skipped right over. In those cases, I was just as guilty as anyone else.; 1/13/11, 1:27 PM
Methadras said...: Misandry at it's nefarious work.; 1/13/11, 1:27 PM
bagoh20 said...: Child molestation is a life sentence. The cost is simply too high to put yourself at risk of ever being accused. I never allow myself to be alone with kids. It really is too bad, there is a lot lost for the kids and the adults.; 1/13/11, 1:33 PM
bagoh20 said...: This is probably one of those casualties of our culture that will never be reversed. Unfortunately pedophiles will continue regardless. I doubt there is any punishment that will deter them anyway. If the current system doesn't, scare them off, then nothing short of execution will. I doubt even that.; 1/13/11, 1:40 PM
jimbino said...: I remember approaching a young girl of about 10 painting a park bench in our liberal hell of Austin, TX one Sunday morning. I commented that her volunteer painting was a nice community service and innocently asked if she lived here in my neighborhood. She totally clammed up, and I realized she had been alerted to "Stranger Danger."

That was some 10 years ago, and now our helpful policemen come around at least once a year with their pamphlets and warnings on "Stranger Danger," heedless of the fact that more than 90% of child abuse does not involve strangers at all and that cops themselves are greater abusers of family members than most other groups of Americans.; 1/13/11, 1:42 PM
Anonymous said...: As a male in Early Childhood Education (12 years as a teacher, 4 as a Director) I can both agree and disagree with your statement that the female workers are getting the worse end of the stick. On the one hand, changing diapers has never been the best part of this job, on the other, I worked at a place that originally told me not to change diapers and it added a layer of disconnect between me and my colleagues. As a director, I've hired three men, all of them have been expected to change diapers as necessary, and I change diapers whenever I'm in a classroom.
When I first started teaching, I used to get upset about that sort of [insert your word here; discrimination, stink-eye, double take]. I no longer take offense when it's directed towards me, but I do very much so when it's directed towards my staff. At this point in my career, however, I blame cowardly directors more than the parents. At least with the parents they are showing some sort of caring towards their children (misdirected though it may be), and that is rare enough. I blame the management staff because instead of standing up to the [again, insert your own word here; bigotry, gender bias, what have you] they simply take the easy way out.
I do, however, caution all my staff, espescially the men, to be careful as one accusation can ruin a life forever.; 1/13/11, 1:51 PM
TMink said...: When I signed up to teach a Wednesday night class at my church they asked if I had an abuse history, which I do. They were asking in the context of worrying that people who were abused are more likely to abuse children themselves.

Except that the research shows that people who are sexually abused are less likely to abuse kids! I pointed out the research, faxed them a copy, and they asked me to help develop a more cogent form.

Cool.

Trey; 1/13/11, 1:55 PM
BJM said...: @Coketown

A part of the reason for the decline is that in many towns and cities the official nannies are requiring licenses, health inspections, tax forms, etc. from the parents. School bake sales and private yard & estate sales are coming under the same sort of scrutiny.

But then I'm on the over-nannied Left Coast...where you can't swing a cat without hitting a bureaucrat demanding a fee, inspection report or a license.; 1/13/11, 2:09 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: I liked being a youth minister. Until the sexual abuse prevention training. Then I was rather squicked out by the whole thing and felt like everyone assumed that anyone who worked with kids was a pedophile.

"Watch carefully how the adult interacts with the children. Is he friendly? Or too friendly? Hugs and pats on the back can be good, but do there seem to be too many hugs and pats on the back?" Etc. Etc. Etc.

Since I was the adult working with the kids, I don't know what use that training was supposed to be to me. Spot abusive parents? Was I supposed to be the pedo secret police, carefully noting any possible predatory tics in Johnny's mom or dad? It was too weird.

Now most churches require similar training. I know people who have refused to take it and have refused to allow their children to attend the versions of this training for kids. Some of the kids' programs are absolutely scandalous.; 1/13/11, 2:14 PM
Shanna said...: I would certainly be unhappy if the guys got excluded from all the diapering.

Aside from that, this is stupid. If you think there is any chance the guy shouldn't be working with children, he shouldn't be working with children! Otherwise, he should be fine. I know lots of church daycares have rules about there being two workers in the room for certain things, and that kind of a deal would make sense, but this doesn't.; 1/13/11, 2:16 PM
MadisonMan said...: I remember approaching a young girl of about 10 painting a park bench in our liberal hell of Austin, TX one Sunday morning. I commented that her volunteer painting was a nice community service and innocently asked if she lived here in my neighborhood. She totally clammed up, and I realized she had been alerted to "Stranger Danger."

That does fit your narrative very nicely.

I have two kids. One was extremely chatty around adults at age 10, one would clam up completely. Yet neither were alerted -- unduly -- to Stranger Danger. One is just more introverted. Perhaps your painter was too.; 1/13/11, 2:17 PM
Kathy said...: Churches are asked by their liability insurance providers to have those policies. Our church has the same policy; a previous church also had it. In both cases the insurance company initiated the change. All volunteers also get background checks, but the men still can't change diapers.; 1/13/11, 2:21 PM
Scott M said...: One of the major disappointments as a father came when I realized that, someday, my girls are going to be too old for me to hold and cuddle.

Coming from a family of all boys, and having had a boy first myself, this was something of a shock to me. My wife, from a family of all girls, says that my six-year-old is fast approaching that age. My three-year-old, thankfully, is nowhere close (thank God).

What a bummer. I assume the desire to hold my little girls will be replaced by my admiration for things they do and say as they grow. Still...; 1/13/11, 2:22 PM
Fred4Pres said...: Men are presumed criminals. It is the new "driving while black."; 1/13/11, 2:23 PM
Scott M said...: Men are presumed criminals. It is the new "driving while black."

Breathing while male?; 1/13/11, 2:24 PM
keith said...: This reminds me of a somewhat similar experience I had back in '94. Working part-time at the local Wal-Mart, I was assigned to the menswear area since I had previously worked at a men's suit store. On occasion my job would entail me having to go to the common changing area (for both genders), located in ladies clothing to, to get new hangers, etc. for the clothing. Evidently some customers did not like the idea of a man being around the changing room, so I was informed that to get new hangers, etc. I would have to go find one of the female employees to her to go get the items I needed. Never mind the fact that female employees could be there to assist male customers.; 1/13/11, 2:26 PM
keith said...: This reminds me of a somewhat similar experience I had back in '94. Working part-time at the local Wal-Mart, I was assigned to the menswear area since I had previously worked at a men's suit store. On occasion my job would entail me having to go to the common dressing room area (for both genders), located in ladies clothing, to get new hangers, etc. for the clothing. Evidently some customers did not like the idea of a man being around the changing room, so I was informed that to get new hangers, etc. I would have to go find one of the female employees to her to go get the items I needed. Never mind the fact that female employees could be there to assist male customers. Thought about making a point of that obvious lack of logic but realized trying to argue w/ stupidity is pointless.; 1/13/11, 2:27 PM
Fred4Pres said...: One of the major disappointments as a father came when I realized that, someday, my girls are going to be too old for me to hold and cuddle.

Okay. When was it ever okay for dads to cuddle with their teenage and adult daughters (or for that matter teenage and adult sons)? I mean, seriously? You naturally stop doing that. That does not mean you can't hug them or kiss them hello or goodbye, but there is a natural transition to becoming an adult that involves separating from your parents emotionally and physically.; 1/13/11, 2:28 PM
Hoosier Daddy said...: One of the major disappointments as a father came when I realized that, someday, my girls are going to be too old for me to hold and cuddle.

Oh just you wait chief. Not only will they be too old for that mushy stuff but they'll roll thier eyes and cluck thier tongue if you even try!

It starts around age 12 and by 13 they have completed the transformation from your little girl to Species IV. You'll still love em but boy you won't like em.; 1/13/11, 2:29 PM
Scott M said...: Okay. When was it ever okay for dads to cuddle with their teenage and adult daughters (or for that matter teenage and adult sons)? I mean, seriously?

Seriously. This was before any of my kids had made it past 10. Sure, intellectually I was aware of everything you said. Duh, as one of the least intelligent and civil commentors hereabouts would say. I didn't realize that a whole other part of myself would realize it separately, if that makes any sense.

Regardless, I didn't stop wrestling and rough-housing with the oldest boy until he was just a little bit smaller than me (he's since gotten much bigger). I don't intend on treating my little girls any differently.; 1/13/11, 2:32 PM
BJM said...: @jimbino

I had a similar moment about five years ago. I was in a large mall having a coffee outside Starby's when a little boy, a toddler, slipped out of the adjacent McDonald's party room door into the mall and slipped around the corner very quickly as little kids are wont to do.

My first instinct was to fetch the child back to McDonald's. Then it stuck me that I could be holding the child's hand if the mother raised the alarm, and that it could go very badly for me. So I tapped an older couple sitting next to me. All three of us went after the boy and returned him to his mother.

I recently read a story online where a man pulled some children out of a smoking van and the driver-grandmother not realizing that the van was on fire punched him in the face and began to scream kidnap.

You just can't place yourself in that position unless the danger to a child is severe and immediate.; 1/13/11, 2:37 PM
Hoosier Daddy said...: I had a similar incident as the truck driver when one early morning about 10 years ago I left around 6am to go fishing. On the way, saw this maybe 3-4 year old wearing nothing but underwear tooling down the sidewalk on a Big Wheel, no adults in sight. I called the local police told them what I saw and kept going.

Mrs. Hoosier gave me some grief for that until I esplained 1) jad no idea wheret he kid belonged, 2) was dressed in tattered old jeans,a flannel shirt and baseball hat sporting a goatee 3) how would that appear to someone looking out thier window and seeing me walking around with some kid at 6AM in their underoos? Hell, I'd be suspicious.

I did follow up later in the day and believe it or not the cops did follow up and found the kid's house (evidently this was not his first time letting himself out for a morning Bigwheel ride) so no sad ending at least.; 1/13/11, 2:38 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: My husband once found a toddler wandering around in the middle of the road. The toddler had escaped through a hole in a fence. My husband returned him. No one was mad.

I share this only to say that not everyone is crazy.; 1/13/11, 2:40 PM
Alcuria said...: It's definitely a problem.

I moved in 2003 and ran for the local school board while still single. I was told that some people were asking why I would want to run for the board since I had no kids in the district. A couple not so nice people starting playing the "suggestion by ellipsis" game.

Ended winning with the most votes in the election.

I was so glad when I got married - and got to wear a wedding ring.; 1/13/11, 2:42 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: No matter how worried you are about baseless charges, please don't leave tiny children in the road! If you're afraid someone will think something bad, just stay with the child, without touching him, until authorities arrive.; 1/13/11, 2:42 PM
Christy said...: I feel squirrely enough sometimes, as a spawnless woman. I cannot imagine what it does to guys.

Over Christmas at a huge family dinner, a cousin walked by with her new grandbaby and a huge slushee. As she shifted around to let me hold him, the baby started to fall and I reached out, catching him by the crotch. I was horrified 1st by my inappropriate touching and 2nd that I've been conditioned to sexualize a 4 month old baby. Saving him from falling to the floor felt inconsequential. How dysfunctional is that?; 1/13/11, 2:43 PM
Hoosier Daddy said...: No matter how worried you are about baseless charges, please don't leave tiny children in the road!

He was on the sidewalk and sorry Freeman, there are more than a few instances of 'baseless charges' that have led to ruined lives. Maybe its the fault of the media which overblows missing/kidnapped kid incidents, maybe its because we let convicted child molestors out of prison. Whatever the reason, justified or not, the climate is there and some of us act accordingly.

I was struck by the fact the police department remarked that it wasn't the first time. Really? So junior has a routine of going on morning joy rides and mom and dad haven't seen fit to somehow, remedy that? Deadbolt perhaps? I may be my brother's keeper but I ain't his babysitter either.; 1/13/11, 2:56 PM
test said...: "No matter how worried you are about baseless charges, please don't leave tiny children in the road!"

I don't believe this part of the story. You let a kid die because people are idiots?

More likely the guy was in a hurry and didn't stop (assumed the mother was nearby?), and made this up to cover himself.

Maybe I'm unwilling to believe anyone would be this depraved but I cannot imagine anyone knowing the circumstances not stopping.; 1/13/11, 3:08 PM
Joe said...: (The Crypto Jew)

I don't believe this part of the story. You let a kid die because people are idiots?

I do see your point, but let me point this out…Life ain’t Perry Mason…when you get accused of Child Molestation or Kidnapping or even ARRESTED for it…the drama doesn’t end in 48 minutes running and with you being acquitted in the last 5 minutes of the show. You will be the molester/kidnapper for months, if not years…the papers will have your name and face on the day of arrest and arraignment, but 2 years later…not at the acquittal. So by all mean pick up the toddler, but please do not fool yourself into thinking that the Millicents or the Newsies will “know” you were on the Side of the Angels.; 1/13/11, 3:18 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: If you pick up the toddler as you call the police, you are not going to be in trouble for anything because there will be a record of your call.; 1/13/11, 3:22 PM
Joe said...: (The Crypto Jew)

If you pick up the toddler as you call the police, you are not going to be in trouble for anything because there will be a record of your call.

That’s a good point and I do believe I’d stop, but Freeman the fact that I call and the fact that ms O’Malley call, doesn’t mean that Ofcr. Friendly isn’t responding to Ms O’Malley’s call of a “possible child abduction.” Now, Ofcr Smiley may be on the way to answer MY call, but IF Ocfr. Friendly gets there first, I can tell you the interview is going to be a whole lot more unfriendly….and the Job Application asks “Have you ever been arrested for a Felony?”.; 1/13/11, 3:31 PM
Geoff Matthews said...: When I was 21, I saw a little girl (younger than 5) on a sidewalk crying. I pulled my car over and asked her what was wrong. She told me she was lost, so I let her in my car and drove her home (she had memorized her address). I mentioned this to my dad and he said that I needed to be careful, people might think that I was abducting her.
This was ~ 20 years ago, so my dad was cutting edge back then.

I also had a 6th grader drive my car out of snow while I (and other elementary school kids) pushed the car out. I figure that I made the kid's day.; 1/13/11, 3:38 PM
knox said...: This whole thread makes me sad.

One weekend morning my husband and I went to the library in downtown Knoxville and it wasn't open yet. (They'd changed their hours, but hadn't updated the website.)

There was a boy there, about 9, whose parents had dropped him off, not realizing it was closed. We stuck with him until they returned an hour later.

They totally looked at us like we were trying to hurt him instead of helping him, jerks.; 1/13/11, 4:34 PM
knox said...: Trey, you are a big hero of mine.; 1/13/11, 4:34 PM
Gabriel Hanna said...: It happened to Elizabeth, the Queen Mother. She stopped her limo and offered to take a lost child home; the little girl said "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers"!; 1/13/11, 5:16 PM
David said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1/13/11, 5:28 PM
David said...: Coketown said...
When I was young (fifteen years ago), kids were fighting for corners like it was season 4 of The Wire.

Still are.

"Wash your windshield, buddy?"

Ambiguous smile.

Cash changes hands.; 1/13/11, 5:29 PM
David said...: This is not a brand new problem.

In the early 1990's, I was pulling out of the train station parking lot in a Chicago suburb. I stopped at the stop sign and was looking left, as it was a one way street. A girl of about 12 or 13 was coming from my right on the sidewalk on a bike, obscured by trees, and ran into the side of my car. She flew over the hood and landed on the ground, quite bruised, a little bloody, but coherent and nothing seemingly broken. The bike was trashed.

I offered to take her home. At first she was uncertain but she decided it was ok. I put her bike in the trunk of my car and took the girl home--only about a 5 minute drive.

At her home I walked her to the door, and her mother answered. The mother's main reaction was to be infuriated at the girl for getting in the car with me. That shook me up even more than seeing the girl fly over the hood of the car.

The family did not sue me, though. Nor me them, even though there was quite a dent in the car. I was just glad the girl was not hurt badly.; 1/13/11, 5:40 PM
Phil 314 said...: Freeman;
Appreciate your doses of reality.

When in doubt, damn the legal anxiety and help the kid; 1/13/11, 6:04 PM
KCFleming said...: And male physicians are getting out of doing any pelvic exams or Pap smears. Slowly replaced by female NPs or PAs.

Don't bother me none. It raises costs quite a bit and costs women time, because it's a second visit, but hell, I don't want a visit from the gendarmes.; 1/13/11, 6:37 PM
jr565 said...: WHy does this conversation remind me of the song Claire by Gilbert O'Sullivan which could be an innocent song about baby sitting, or a song about a child molester. (Regardless, it has a truly sublime melody).; 1/13/11, 6:48 PM
Fred Drinkwater said...: Two anecdotes -
I volunteered as an informal teaching assistant in a second/third grade class, where my daughter was. Did mostly reading evaluations. No problems, and I was never alone with any kid. Following year I was told I needed to agree to a background check. After a bit of thought I told the district that I would agree provided they sent me a copy of their 1) data privacy policy, and 2) data retention policy. Never heard from them again...but, I found out later that 1) checks were only mandated for volunteers who were expected to be alone with kids, and 2) the files were kept in an open file in the district office. So much for that.

Second: one of my kids (2nd grade, private school) had a minor 'attention' problem. During some discussions with the school's psychologist, I described my procedure for getting said kid's attention, which culminated with a light two-finger tap/slap to the cheek. Turns out the Psychologist was a 'mandatory reporter', which I found out a week later after an interesting conversation with a person at county child protective services. The Psych had reported me as a possible abuser.

Learned my lesson, I did.

The male paranoia about this issue is fully justified, in my opinion. The loss to society I leave as an exercise to the astute reader.; 1/13/11, 6:54 PM
Fred Drinkwater said...: Oh by the way, both of those anecdotes are from 10 years ago. Can't imaging how much worse things have gotten since.; 1/13/11, 6:58 PM
bagoh20 said...: We have created a system where honesty, concern, compassion and even responsible behavior are possibly criminal, liable or both. I blame lawyers. Now, please fix the mess you made.; 1/13/11, 7:39 PM
Milwaukee said...: Spot on, Jeff with one "f":
This is a direct result of the feminist demonization of men. The ideal of having men share equally in child care is being undermined by the "all men are rapists and that's all they are" sect of feminists.

What sort of sick mind thinks that anybody would be sexually aroused by changing a dirty diaper? That is sick. As a parent, I changed by childrens' dirty diapers whenever I could: children bond with their primary care givers.

Yet a young woman is much more likely to be violated by her mother's boy friend or second husband, than by her biological father, and women keep getting custody of the children. To collect the child support, I'm sure.

As a high school teacher I never worked with a student in my room with the door anything but unlocked and open. I might have touched the back of a hand, but nothing more. How sad the world we live in. Truly the media exaggerates the problem.; 1/14/11, 10:00 AM
Milwaukee said...: As for Boy Scouts, consider this: the reason the expression is "Didn't your mother teach you to come in out of the rain?" is that father's don't teach coming in out of the rain. They teach lots of important stuff, but that isn't one of them. Boys need to be in the company of men to learn how to be men. Now the Catholic Church has been nailed for the priest abuse cases. Shuffling abusive priests around like that was horribly wrong. But, in Wisconsin the statute of limitations for prosecuting such cases is much longer for priests than for teachers. (I realize that some of what the Church is guilty of is fraud, and the statute of limitations on fraud starts when it is discovered, not when it happened.)

The suburbs of Milwaukee had a male swim teacher charged with having sex with boys. Most of the cases weren't prosecuted because of the statute of limitations. One victim described the sex act, and how he had voluntarily returned to the coach's home to do it 10 or 11 more times. granted, the first time was rape. But if the victim returned to the coach's home 10 or 11 more times? Still rape, because of the age difference. Why didn't other adults notice the adult swim coach showering with the boys when he had a coaches locker room? Why didn't that victim have somebody to turn to after the first incident? Society failed that victim, and many other victims. And should have noticed something was amiss years ago and stopped that swim coach.

The Boy Scouts can not be proud of their history on adults abusing boys. But somehow the Catholic Church is so much more of popular target.; 1/14/11, 10:10 AM
Anthony said...: I was once (in 1985) specifically told a day care center would not hire me because I was a male. Even though I had been working my last year of college at a center, and the day I came in for a trial run a couple of staff expressed amazement that one little girl who never ever wanted anything to do with new people was grabbing my hand for outside playtime.; 1/14/11, 12:39 PM
Unknown said...: nice blog

day care centers near me; 10/21/16, 4:05 AM