Last night, I walked up to this beautiful woman in a bar and asked her, "Do you live around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different colored socks." I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness." Then she asked, "How do you feel?" and I said, "Well, you know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time."
...
I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
...
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
...
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world . . . Perhaps you've seen it.
...
It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
...
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
I already put this down there ↓ in the Miss Me Yet? post but it was swallowed up by the lengthy discussion on CRA, bank loans required by those congressional acts that later needed to be disguised within tranches in order to be unloaded upon unsuspecting investors. Please pardon the double post, and alsoplease pardon the sweary words. This is how I sound when I keep missing.
A large group of tea partier leaders, a large group of major bloggers, and Albert Einstein walk into a bar. Einstein convinces them that there's a "special" opening in the bathroom (paging Titus), and they both go in. Then, he locks them in and moves an armoire in front of the door so no one realizes there's a door there. He also puts a few blankets between the door and the armoire. He's later given a medal.
Also, the chilly reception given to Demand Question Time is incredibly funny. Close to two million politically engaged people probably heard about it - Insty even embedded it into his site - and they got fewer suckers than people in some small towns in Iowa.
Try to find a copy of a movie from 1983 titled "Get Crazy". I don't think it ever made it over to DVD because every ime I go check it out, it's still out there on VHS only.
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17 comments:
Oh! That looks very like Paph. philippinese. There are a few very similar orchids, so it may well not be.
I had one once. I think I managed to keep it alive for about three years.
For a laugh, did you get a picture of the orchid with the slipper that looks like a veined scrotum? ;-)
Two Irishmen walk out of a bar...
It happens you know.
"... oh, lord, I need to laugh!"
I hope you can laugh away, giggle one for me :D
Laughing is the best medicine! This never fails to bring out a chuckle in me.
You know what else is endearing? Lincoln's dog was named "Fido."
Last night, I walked up to this beautiful woman in a bar and asked her, "Do you live around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different colored socks." I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness." Then she asked, "How do you feel?" and I said, "Well, you know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time."
...
I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
...
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
...
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world . . . Perhaps you've seen it.
...
It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
...
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
-- Steven Wright
The Althouse blog is starting to resemble Nero Wolfe's brownstone, for some reason.
*grins*
These flowers remind me of the ones in Fantasia, in the Nutcracker suite sequence. I can see them animated, dancing.
I tweeted a loaf tonight on Twitter:
RuthAnneAdams: I see my tweets have come back down to the much more reasonable almost 7K rather than 20K+.. good job, Twitter.
chickelit: @RuthAnneAdams Hey me too! Now I can go back to feeling all tweet-retentive!
Darcysport: @chickelit We can't have you tweet-retentive! #Metamucil
chickelit: @Darcysport Should I start loaf-tweeting? #metamucil
Darcysport: @chickelit Only if it's multi-grain! #metamucil
chickelit: @Darcysport Is corn a grain? #metamucil
Darcysport: @chickelit LOL
chickelit: @Darcysport Poop #metamucil
chickelit: @Darcysport Done now and feeling much better. Thank you for caring.
Darcysport: @chickelit Anytime. (I'm laughing so hard) #becauseicare
Synova said...
For a laugh, did you get a picture of the orchid with the slipper that looks like a veined scrotum?
Yes, but vain scrotum is a shorn scrotum, isn't it?
It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
Ask Titus.
They actually remind me of a couple of Jim Henson type creations.
wv hansup
What the robber said.
Why do you interrupt my act like this?
If ever there was an eternal, *entirely human* question, it would be that one.
I already put this down there ↓ in the Miss Me Yet? post but it was swallowed up by the lengthy discussion on CRA, bank loans required by those congressional acts that later needed to be disguised within tranches in order to be unloaded upon unsuspecting investors. Please pardon the double post, and alsoplease pardon the sweary words. This is how I sound when I keep missing.
Laugh worthy things I found around teh internets today:
Unhappy Hipsters (the linked one, especially tickled me, but the whole site is great)
This Korean textbook is surprisingly chuckle worthy.
Here's a patent worth at least a guffaw.
CommunityChannel's latest made me laugh.
And dammit, I think my latest LOL Obama is both cute, and funny, and slightly wrong.
A large group of tea partier leaders, a large group of major bloggers, and Albert Einstein walk into a bar. Einstein convinces them that there's a "special" opening in the bathroom (paging Titus), and they both go in. Then, he locks them in and moves an armoire in front of the door so no one realizes there's a door there. He also puts a few blankets between the door and the armoire. He's later given a medal.
Also, this is funny.
Also, the chilly reception given to Demand Question Time is incredibly funny. Close to two million politically engaged people probably heard about it - Insty even embedded it into his site - and they got fewer suckers than people in some small towns in Iowa.
What did the girl raspberry say to the boy raspberry?
"If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"
@Anne
Try to find a copy of a movie from 1983 titled "Get Crazy". I don't think it ever made it over to DVD because every ime I go check it out, it's still out there on VHS only.
Hysterical fake-concert movie.
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