October 14, 2009

At the Pitcher Café...


... pour out your true feelings.


knox said...

Watched Snakes on a Plane, the edited-for-TV-version. Favorite dubbed curse words: "Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey-fightin' snakes on this Monday-to-Friday Plane!!!"

blake said...

Little pitchers have big ears?

True feelings?

I guess my pitcher is empty.

blake said...

lol, Knox.

I saw that it was on TV, couldn't bear to watch it.

Best dubbed curse words ever? The Big Lebowski: "This is what happens when you f--- a stranger in the ass" became "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps."

Triangle Man said...

Do we have compadion enough to rescue the trapped creatures within the pitchers? Those of us in Kingdom Animalia need to stick together.

Chip Ahoy said...

I harbor ill feelings towards automatic car door locks that are activated by a key fob. I wish they had not been invented.

It is simply rude to park your car, walk away half a block, half the parking lot, whatever, then HONK! Such noise for your own convenience and just in time for a innocent passerby to be jolted shitless. Please, just lock your vehicle manually and silently. Be a good citizen.

Today my ears were assaulted thusly four times on a walk the distance of 12 blocks.

I like to sleep with the window open. There's a parking lot below that serves the art museum. Apparently they get an early start over there. When I'm awakened with HONK! my impulse is to lob a cinderblock down on the offending vehicle's windshield. Problem with that plan is, I don't know which vehicle it is plus I don't have a cinderblock.

In my startled half-awake state I automatically visualize snipping people. HONK! POW!

Lem said...

Chip reminds me of Noise (2007) with Tim Robins.

JohnAnnArbor said...

Chip, my '04 vehicle doesn't have keyless entry because it was meant to be a fleet car.

Not all keyless entry systems honk or beep. I used to use a quiet one.

Pitcher plants are cool. Unless you're an insect.

What does our blogging cockroach friend think of pitcher plants?

EDH said...

Why would either pitchers or catchers want separate cafes?

You'd think they would want to get together?

Okay, thinking about it, I can see why the catchers might want more time to themselves.

I am talking about baseball. Harumph.

traditionalguy said...

Ann Coulter posted tonight the first reality-based conservative opinion piece that I have read on Afghanistan and American interests; and that makes me feel like I am not alone anymore.

Beth said...

My orchids live on the porch, where I pay them very little attention - water if it's not rainy; if I remember once every month or two, they get a little fertilizer in their drink.

The weather has been warm and wet this fall; every day we reach the upper 80s and low 90s, and the nights aren't below the mid 70s. Three of my orchids are budding or blooming right now; one has five stems covered with blossoms.

Friday, we are expected to drop suddenly to the low 50s, upper 40s. Fall really just falls, swoop, in the deep South. It will bounce back to being warm within days. I just hope my orchids hold tough for now. But that's the thing with orchid blossoms; they're a passing pleasure.

MamaM said...

Pitchers, Catchers
Insect fetchers

Cupping, Luring
Rarely pouring

Slippery, Siding
Insects sliding

Trapped, Drowning
Without warning

Snakes alive, Beware!

Chip Ahoy said...

Pitcher plant, Star Wars version.

Revenant said...

That made me laugh out loud, Chip. Thanks. :)

Revenant said...

When I'm awakened with HONK! my impulse is to lob a cinderblock down on the offending vehicle's windshield.

Something like that happened when I was in college. Some nitwit with a proximity alarm on his car -- cranked up to some ridiculously oversensitive setting -- parked it near a bunch of the freshman dorms during finals week and then walked away, presumably to take a final.

By the time he got back, two hours later, the alarm had been going off continuously for about an hour and fifty five minutes. By that point the car had been keyed, shaving creamed, had a rock thrown through the windshield, and its tires slashed. Then the guy got a noise citation from the cops.

I was never more proud of my fellow students. :)

Michael Hasenstab said...

Nice pitcher, Althouse.

Lockestep said...


For those of us who have ever locked their keys in a car, using the key fob exclusively provides a warm fuzzy feeling of safety.

wv Proak: If it ain't proak, don't pix it.

Lem said...

I have a guy here at the office that sort of sneaks up on me every morning at my cubicle and says "good morning".

Even though I know he's coming still just feels like an assault.

I delay answering sometimes to see if he gets a hint but he does not, he still comes at me .. "good morning Lem"

What is havens name is so good about it?

BTW - today is my birthday ..

thanks, thanks.. and thank you for not saying anything also.

Lem said...

"Good morning Lem" guy is just like that horn Chip was talking about.

Michael Hasenstab said...

*tiptoes over to Lem's cubicle*

Happy Birthday Lem!!!1!!!


AllenS said...

Happy birthday, Lem. Are you going to celebrate tonight?

[Runs back to cubicle, and locks door]

EDH said...

Happy Birthday Lem,

What you've got is a sidler at work. Give him a pack of Tic-Tacs. Well, maybe not.

From the "Merv Griffin Show," one of the best episodes of Seinfeld:

Elaine's new co-worker is a real "sidler": he moves silently behind people... He causes Elaine to spill coffee that creates a stain that looks like Fidel Castro.. Elaine schemes to out-sidle the sidler who might be sidling her out of a job... Elaine gives Tic Tacs to the sidler to make him noisy; unfortunately the sound annoys J. Peterman, which reminds him of an old Haitian torture.

MadisonMan said...

You need a rear view mirror, lem, so he can't sneak up on you. Maybe someone will get you one for your birthday. Hope it's happy!

Lem said...

Thanks everybody.. lol

no i cant celebrate right now..

maybe later ;)

Lem said...

EDH thats exactly how this is.
I had forgoten that episode.

I'm not much of a morning person .. can you tell?

EDH said...

Captain Lou Albano has died.

“Captain’’ Lou Albano, who became one of the most recognized professional wrestlers of the 1980s after appearing in Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun’’ music video, died yesterday. He was 76...With his Hawaiian shirts, wiry goatee, and trademark rubber bands hanging like piercings from his cheek, Mr. Albano was an outsize personality who, in a career spanning nearly five decades, was known as much for his showmanship as for his talent in the ring.


knox said...

blake, lol. My previous favorite dubbed curse was Lethal Weapon. Mel Gibson kept calling the bad guys "Merry Funsters" and "Fairy Godmothers."

Lem, if you think that guy at work is annoying, just wait til we all take you out to TGIFriday's after work and get THE STAFF to sing "Happy Birthday" to you!!

EDH said...

It really wrecked him, from Bruce Schneier:

Nobody tell the TSA, but last month someone tried to assassinate a Saudi prince by exploding a bomb stuffed in his rectum. He pretended to be a repentant militant, when in fact he was a Trojan horse: "The resulting explosion ripped al-Asiri to shreds but only lightly injured the shocked prince -- the target of al-Asiri's unsuccessful assassination attempt."

For years, I have made the joke about Richard Reid: "Just be glad that he wasn't the underwear bomber." Now, sadly, we have an example of one.

Lewis Page, an "improvised-device disposal operator tasked in support of the UK mainland police from 2001-2004," pointed out that this isn't much of a threat for three reasons: 1) you can't stuff a lot of explosives into a body cavity, 2) detonation is, um, problematic, and 3) the human
body can stifle an explosion pretty effectively (think of someone throwing himself on a grenade to save his friends).

Gretchen said...

Pitcher plants at Olbrich or at the Botany Greenhouse? The Botany Dept has a wonderful collection of carnivorous plants- beautiful pitcher plants of all sizes and colors, and lots of Venus flytraps. I like the quietness and secret feel of the space as well...

Ann Althouse said...


Joaquin said...

Lem, the cure is a cattle-prod.

peter hoh said...

Before you use the cattle prod, stock up on cow mats.

former law student said...

This story disturbed me. Apparently, without meticulous maintenance, our soldiers' rifles jam in Afghanistan. The bad guys' AK-47s just keep on working.

Weapons failed US troops during Afghan firefight

Oct 11, 8:28 AM (ET)


WASHINGTON (AP) - In the chaos of an early morning assault on a remote U.S. outpost in eastern Afghanistan, Staff Sgt. Erich Phillips' M4 carbine quit firing as militant forces surrounded the base. The machine gun he grabbed after tossing the rifle aside didn't work either.

When the battle in the small village of Wanat ended, nine U.S. soldiers lay dead and 27 more were wounded. A detailed study of the attack by a military historian found that weapons failed repeatedly at a "critical moment" during the firefight on July 13, 2008, putting the outnumbered American troops at risk of being overrun by nearly 200 insurgents.


peter hoh said...

I'm sure it's Obama's fault that the machine guns jammed. Why does he hate our troops?

AllenS said...


Go to your blog, I posted a comment. By the way, it's Bush's fault.

peter hoh said...

Allen, thanks for your comment re. the post puller.

I read something about the incident mentioned by FLS. One of the commenters said that there's a long history of these guns failing under duress in less than optimal conditions.

Seems like this kind of thing should have been dealt with a long time ago.

peter hoh said...

Calvin Trillin skewers Polanski (and his supporters) in verse.

Michael Hasenstab said...

RIP Buell Motorcycle Company.

May not mean much to you, but Erik Buell is a hero to motorcycle riders.

F*cking assh*les in Washington who screwed up the economy should all rot.

Term limits - two terms in Congress, then one in prison.

Bissage said...

Happy Birthday, Lem!

knox said...

hear, hear

Throw 'em in with Polanski

Lem said...

Well thank you Bissage, and peter and joaquin.

Beth said...

Happy Birthday, Lem.

Too bad you can't set up a sprinkler system right at your cubicle door. Maybe a Supersoaker on a trip wire?

john said...

Happy Birthday Lem. Don't stay up too late (posting).

BTW, Naomi Klein said Obama's award represented a "cheapening of the Nobel prize".

I don't think so.

AlgonquinS said...

Happy birthday, Lem.

Lem said...

Thanks Beth..

I got treated to a Philippine restaurant.. good food.

Sorry to say..
There were NO cow mats in that restaurant ;)

Michael Hasenstab said...

Not cow mats, cowmats,. On Twitter, it's #cowmats

Michael Hasenstab said...

I should add that I am not an official spokesperson, representative or authorized agent for cow mats, cowmats, #cowmats or any related cow and mat products.

Nor have I received any compensation, whether monetary, product, or otherwise, for this or any other message containing the terms, cow, mat, mats cowmats, #cowmats or other such terms.

Cows, mats, cowmats and #cowmats shuld be used with adult supervision in a properly enclosed, lighted and ventilated code-compliant structure, and on a properly constructed sub-floor of cementitious materials.

Penny said...

Happy Birthday, Lem! I'd make noise in your honor, but given that some seem to prefer silence, I give you this.


Lem said...

Thank you Penny, Michael, Alg, john -- you guys are the best.

and thanks for the heads up on cowmats Michael.
We dont want to get Althouse in trouble with the feds ;)

Lem said...

I was wondering if people are said to be “having a cow” would a cowmat help them settle down ;)

traditionalguy said...

Happy birthday to the Lemster. Have you hit your big 40 yet?

Lem said...

Have you hit your big 40 yet?

its the big 45 for me.. thanks

(if its all downhill from here i should be coasting)

Lem said...

is there a drink (shot) named cowmat?

wv - specult - a cult of speculation?

Lem said...




Beth said...

Holy crap! Lem, that sucks.

Chip Ahoy said...

Sorry to hear that, Lem.

blake said...

Well, that sucks, Lem.

The only time I've ever gotten fired was two weeks before my daughter was born.

"Yeah, I'd like the job but can I have two weeks off in a few days?"

former law student said...

Lem, that's horrible.

It wasn't because you were posting here, was it?

EDH said...


That sucks.

In college I worked for the state unemployment agency collecting delinquent taxes.

I got around civil service by being hired as an "intermittent claims clerk," even though I was in "contributions" rather than claims.

The unemployment rate went down, so they laid off all the intermittent claims clerks, including me, even though I was collecting more taxes because of the improving economy.

The state unemployment agency denied me unemployment benefits because I was a full-time student.

The experience helped form my opinion of government and social welfare programs.

wv- "enoings" = the new album from Brian Eno

MamaM said...

LEM, I'm sorry. It hurts to experience termination, especially when it is unexpected.

I celebrate who you are--often and frequently laughing and enjoying your humor, insights, tenderness, and willingness to be open and honest in your comments. The way your brain connects amazes me.

As you process through today, may you know you are valued and respected, and be strengthened in courage, resolve and purpose.

Lem said...

thanks everybody.

It wasn't because you were posting here, was it?

no it was not. I saw it coming.

I have some contacts. I hope to be working back soon

sorry i droped that bomb on you all like that but i just did it on the spur of the moment.

i've never been un-employed b4. its weird i dont feel anything. i think i should be feeling something but im not.

i have to call my mother.. i'll check in later.

and thanks again for all the good wishes.

Penny said...

For you Lem.. *hugs*

Not a great time to lose your job, but it never is.

Largo said...

Good luck, Lem.

Darcy said...

Oh, Lem!

Well, first, I still want to wish you well on your birthday. Your birthday produced you, and that's a very blessed day in my book.

Best wishes on your job search and I second or third or whatever the *hugs*.

Penny said...

Hey, Lem!

Darcy*YOU*Me ;)

Althouse is over there getting ready to jump out of the cake Meade baked for your birthday.


We all love you, honey!

Deb said...

Happy Birthday, Lem; and take care.

wv: maker.

Darcy said...

Uhh...count me out of that, Penny.

Sometimes a hug is just a hug.

peter hoh said...

Jeex, Lem. Some companies actually give you a day off on your birthday. But to let you go?? Cold.

Lem said...

you guys are the best!

all of you.. I mean it!

mean time I'm up up front telling it li i see it!