September 25, 2009

"Matthew McConaughey Cannot Stand Up By Himself."



Montagne Montaigne said...

Holy cow! I just found a video of Seven Machos on YouTube! This is a must watch.

EDH said...

McConaughey became an instant Hollywood hero of mine when I read about his arrest in 1999.

Matthew McConaughey was arrested by Austin, Texas police in October 1999 and charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia after a neighbor called to complain about music blaring from the actor's crib. When cops arrived, they found McConaughey dancing around in the buff and playing bongo drums. The drug charges against McConaughey were eventually dropped, though the star did plead guilty to violating Austin's noise ordinance, for which he paid a $50 fine.

The Real Barack said...

I can see you are still taking the Percocet. I am a very busy person in case you don't know that. Please confine your posts to serious subjects or truly funny tidbits.

Seven Machos said...

I feel sorry for McConaughey. You'd have trouble standing, too, if you had freakishly short arms.

Montaigne -- Epic fail. I sense sad desperation. Perhaps most jarring is the utter lack of timing. Could you not have waited for a halfway appropriate political post? I have seen you do better here. Please up your game.

Irene said...

The first thing that came to mind when I saw the images was the "Will Shag for Beer" T-shirt post.

Joan said...

ITA: Ha! (Lighten up, Barack!)

The "Ghost of Girlfriends Past" poster is plastered all over the windows of the local Blockbuster Video stores. It's one of the worst photoshopping jobs I've ever seen.

bagoh20 said...

You see Montagne, that guy is pretty pathetic, but he still just wants to be left alone. He ain't a wantin' to take yer stuff, ner tell you how to live. He's simply in persoot o happiness.

Advantage: rednecks

Oh, and he's more concise than you.

Bissage said...

[Our scene is the family room at the House of Bissage. The TV set is on.]

ME: Is that Owen Wilson? Who is that?

MRS. BISSAGE: That’s Matthew McConaughey.

ME: Did I ever see him in anything?

MRS. BISSAGE: How should I know?

ME: Gee, I don’t know, he just looks sort of familiar, that’s all. [extended pause] Is he good looking?

MRS. BISSAGE: Not really. I certainly don’t think so.

ME: You don’t? What do you mean, you don’t?

MRS. BISSAGE: I don’t think he’s good looking.

ME: He’s a freaking movie star for crying out loud. How could he not be good looking?

MRS. BISSAGE: I don’t think he’s good looking.

ME: Well then, what’s wrong with him? He seems like a pretty good looking guy to me.

MRS. BISSAGE: I don’t think he’s good looking.

ME: You’re kidding, right?

MRS. BISSAGE: You’re making me angry.

ME: Fine, have it your way. He’s not good looking.

MRS. BISSAGE: He’s not.

ME: Love you . . .

MRS. BISSAGE: Go away.

Pogo said...

I can't stand up for falling down.

Montagne Montaigne said...

Oh God Machos! I AM so sad and so, so desperate. You alone can revive my withered heart.

O Machos! O Machos! It was all a desperate ploy to win your affection!

How I weep!

traditionalguy said...

Could this post be feminist ideology, that "behind every good man is a good woman"? We are on your side, Professor. Tomorrow is Saturday and Michigan State will be playing your On Wisconsin guys, so you and Meade need to get out and enjoy the sunshine and atmosphere of College Football. Our local paper says that The College Football Hall of Fame will be moving from South Bend to Atlanta thanks to Chick-fil-a money. Have a great weekend.

Seven Machos said...

Naturally, I did not watch the youtube video. I note that I must be doing something right when leftists hijack threads about Matthew McConaughey to talk about me. No one hijacks threads to talk about Montaigne, just for example.

Anyway, about those freakishly short arms...

class-factotum said...

Mrs Bissage is correct. MM is not All That. But whatever -- cool for him that he can make a living acting.

ricpic said...

Well, we all know you're blindingly handsome, Bissage, and that's all that counts.

As to the Costello video: I too was once young and all gaga about France. Bury my heart at Wounded Knee.

Pogo said...


I thought it was Utah.

ricpic said...

Hey, the guy was drinking wine with his lunch. You can't even do that in Moab, that Sodom of Utah.

Balfegor said...

O Machos! O Machos! It was all a desperate ploy to win your affection!

There, there. We always bully the ones we love. You'll get over it soon enough.

Lance said...

Best movie of the 21st Century: Reign of Fire.

Am I right, or am I right?

Methadras said...

Montagne Montaigne said...

Holy cow! I just found a video of Seven Machos on YouTube! This is a must watch.

This is a sign that you have the IDES (internet desperation epilepsy syndrome). No japflash for you.

Tibore said...

"I just can't take it anymore!" - shouted in English by longtime Huffington Post reader looking for content but just finding inanities.

He needed to read that McConaughey article. It's quite a bit more entertaining, and certainly less superficial that their norm.