May 20, 2009

"Ross serves as a putter... where Plaintiff needs a sand wedge..."

The magistrate goes crazy with the golf jokes as he dismisses the ridiculous lawsuit Andrew Giuliani brought against Duke University for kicking him off the golf team.
Plaintiff's promissory estoppel claim... brings to mind Carl Spackler's analysis from the movie Caddyshack (Orion Pictures 1980): "He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron, I think."


traditionalguy said...

That decision as clear a written finding of fact and conclusion of law on a motion on the pleadings as I have ever read. Damn Good Judge. It was a round of law with a good score keeping. As a rule the courts are very protective of the Universities in their areas.

Lem said...

A woman golfer suffers a nasty bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it.

“What happened?” asked the doctor.
“I got stung between the first and second hole,” replied the lady golfer.

The doctor replied, “You must have an awfully wide stance

Palladian said...

This is what I always think of when I hear about the obnoxious little prick.

I think of it when I hear about Andrew Giuliani as well.

john said...

A "swing and a miss"? WTF? Judge whiffed on that one. He gets a bogie from me for mashing.

john said...

The only reason I read all 12 pages was because of his "variety of boorish acts, including assaulting a teammate, defying coaches, and violating "both the rules and the spirit of the game of golf.""


john said...

In the lawsuit, he acknowledged that he may have misbehaved in February when he tossed an apple in a teammate’s face, flipped his putter a few feet, threw and broke a club and gunned his engine in a parking lot.

Rather than “quibble” about those details ... He said he was summarily told in February that he was no longer eligible to play ... His one chance to keep his spot would be if he persuaded every teammate to write that they wanted him on the team, and why.

An e-mail message to Giuliani from five of the players, dated April 9, explained that they preferred that he leave the team

That kid could have been breaking lamps in the White House.

Wince said...

Obviously, Andrew Giuliani didn't know about DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

Marmalard: Double Secret Probation, Sir?

Magistrate Dixon: There is a little-known codicil in the Duke University constitution which gives the golf coach unlimited power to preserve order in time of campus emergency. Find me a way to revoke Giuliani's charter. You live next door. Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit, just like you, right? The time has come for someone to put their foot down. And that foot is me.

The Elder said...

"A 'swing and a miss'? WTF? Judge whiffed on that one."

No, the Judge got it right, John. It's a phrase in both baseball and golf.

As Jake Trout and the Flounders said in Love the One You Whiff, "it sure is better than hitting three!"

Thank you, Ann. You are a wonderful golfblogger!

KCFleming said...

Ross v. Creighton University brings back bad memories.

I was at Creighton with Ross; he was in 2 of my classes.
What a piece of work. He thought he was going straight to the NBA, He never attended class. He flunked everything and then didn't even play very well, and got dropped.

It was rumored his ACT scores were faked, because he couldn't even read past a 4th grade level on testing once he arrived.

Creighton was vilified in the media for 'using' this poor man for his b-ball skilz and then discarding him.

Truth is, Creighton sucked at basketball. They weren't some sports mill violating NCAA stuff, they were lucky to get people to show up and watch them play.

Anyway, the lawsuit was embarrassing, and it still makes me cringe.

Mark O said...

"You know I've often thought of becoming a golf club."

Cedarford said...

Rudy's son. What a twat. And so full of a sense of privilege by being a son of the rich and powerful he actually thought he could air his dirty laundry and STILL come out on top in a lawsuit.

KCFleming said...

One art class Ross flunked was an introductory drawing session that was graded entirely on attendance. Miss so many classes, you get an A, more missed was a B, and so on.

Amazingly, the grade spread was exactly the same as every other course.
No lie.

Ross flunked. His vacant seat was next to mine.

Penny said...

Palladian, thanks for that reminder of little Andrew. I laughed.

Parents, please note that your "precocious" and UNCHECKED young kid is likely to grow up to be asshole.

Palladian said...

"Parents, please note that your "precocious" and UNCHECKED young kid is likely to grow up to be asshole."

I know I did.

I just wish my daddy was a philandering lout worth hundreds of millions of dollars rather than a transient schizophrenic.

Such is life.

Either way, I'd never have been on the golf team. I hate golf.

Penny said...

So did you dream about being one of the boxcar kids, Palladian? Surely you must have a sense of the wanderlust?

Palladian said...

"So did you dream about being one of the boxcar kids, Palladian? Surely you must have a sense of the wanderlust?"

No, I hated being outdoors. I was much happier staying home repairing my Farfisa or reading archaeology books.

The transient part is the result of the schizophrenic part. Neither ever seemed desirable or romantic.

Penny said...

I have no clue what Farfisa is, but I must agree with you on that "digging deep". So you call this "archaeology"?

Funny. I will not only remember that, I might have to use that one as my own.

Palladian said...

"I must agree with you on that "digging deep". So you call this "archaeology"?

Funny. I will not only remember that, I might have to use that one as my own."

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Penny said...

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

That's fine, Palladian. EYE do. ;)

Sixty Grit said...

Farfisa - 96 Tears, Question Mark and the Mysterions, exhibit 1.

Penny said...

OK, the keys are necessary there, but you have to admit it was a loser song.

David said...

Cedarford said...
Rudy's son. What a twat.
Cedarford can't even distinguish twit from twat.

Pissed Off Hillbilly said...

The world needs ditch diggers too.