April 23, 2009

"Gum may be good for body, mind."

"Chewing gum is an easy tool students can use for a potential academic edge."

Potential, kids. It's all about potential. I hope you've chewed enough gum to notice that "potential," in that construction, refers to how it's only just a possibility that gum might make you a bigger, better, stronger, sharper person.

Research funded by the Wrigley Science Institute.


rhhardin said...

It looks like gub to me.

traditionalguy said...

Chewing gum: its good for your coffee breath, and its good for your dental health, and its good for satisfying your oral cravings. Yet the Carbon Footprint of Gum makers shows that it is an evil waste, since it is only useful for humans. Then again, if we tax it a dollar a pack as an "offset tax", then everyone should resume chewing and we will send the Tax money to our friends around the world who absolutely promise us they will possibly cool down the Attacks from the Sun by many and various "Scientific" schemes. Chew baby chew, all gum guilt is now gone.

Peter V. Bella said...

Did you get that from the Algore Science Institute? :)

john said...

Big deal.

Get back to me when they create a KFC Science Institute.

AST said...

What? Nothing about blowing bubbles? What kind of scientists are these?

MadisonMan said...

Yesterday, guns. Today Gum. Tomorrow: Gulls?

Jason (the commenter) said...

Maybe the students who weren't allowed to chew gum had a hard time concentrating with the noise of their 108 classmates chewing gum. The gum chewers might appear to be learning more, but they really might just be insulated from the damage.

Of course, I'm just waiting for a politician to read this report and pass a law requiring all students to chew gum. Obama, you listening?

Jason (the commenter) said...

It would have been funny if the experiment had gone horrible wrong.


"Wrigley's gum chewing experiment canceled after rash of chokings at local school."

"Wrigley's sued by angry parents"

"Why is Wrigley's allowed to victimize our children?"

"Government to require warning labels on all packs of gum"

TosaGuy said...

What about those who cannot chew gum due to TMJ or the like? Does that disable or retard their potential?

Synova said...

I don't find this surprising at all.

In fact, it's old news when related to ADHD in children. Chewing gum or eating something helps the child to sit and pay attention because they aren't being asked to be *still*.

Not just kids, though. I probably mentioned before that after many years of getting all stressed about the price of popcorn at movies I realized that my husband was better able to enjoy the movie if he had something to nibble on.

blogging cockroach said...

don t talk to me about chewing gum
when i was young and green so to speak
i thought some fresh chewed gum was candy
it was stuck to the leg of tommy s desk
who b t w is the boy whose computer i use
but like most boys he s a bit lacking
in personal hygiene and neatness
anyway i nearly choked to death and got stuck
there for hours just like i was in a secret
c i a prison which if you think about it
is basically my life

Cedarford said...

I believe the highest math and science scores happen in Singapore, where gun-chewing is ptohibited in school, followed by S Korea and Japan, where gum chewing is discouraged.

In America, though, gum chewing may help considerably in younger students, and "disadvantaged" ones of any age save "disadvantaged" Asian immigrants...

Simply by giving their mouths something to do other than talk in class. Less disruption, more learning happens, collectively.

AJ Lynch said...

This just in:

Making comments here may be bad for Jeremy's health.

[research funded by the folks here who hate Jeremy]

Chip Ahoy said...

Sticking chewed gum on the back of desk chairs in front of you and on the underside of desktops is an easy tool students can use for a potential academic edge.

Research funded by Bye Bye Gum Remover. Our product removes gum safely and easily from carpets, upholstery and hard surfaces in schools, offices, night clubs, pubs, government offices,and sidewalks.

Pogo said...

Nicotine would be even better at improving concentration, but nicotine gum has a horrible taste.

The world could use a palatable gum chock full of nicotine.

bearbee said...

Chew baby chew, all gum guilt is now gone.GUM! The Good Guilt!

Did they control pre-gum and post-gum for test scores?

Should there be a mandate of a minimum 2-pack a day habit for Congress critters?

former law student said...

I read that chewing gum helps your concentration five years ago.

Instead of gum, I would bring in beef jerky to chew during exams. (Do people still bring in snacks to stay sharp during exams?)

Synova said...

Beef jerky.


Pogo said...

"I read that chewing gum helps your concentration five years ago".

Sure, but what if you need to increase your concentration now??

former law student said...

what if you need to increase your concentration now??Time machine. Go five years into the future, and chew. Bring your own chew in case it's been banned.

Hazy Dave said...

Is baseball the only sport where compulsive chewing is the norm (or even accepted)? Some football players seem to be quite orally fixated on their mouthguards between plays, but that's not quite the same. Some tennis players chew, right? Don't see it much on the golf course or basketball court... Do cricket players chew?

Jennifer said...

Great, now I can't think about anything but beef jerky.

Synova said...

Is baseball the only sport where the players spend a lot of time standing still while having to be alert and ready to be quick?

I wonder...

Nichevo said...

I would presume it helps training to perform oral sex as well, tightening and toning those jaw, tongue and lip muscles. NTTAWWT, not hardly.

Wrigley's Big Red - NYU's Official Gum of the Brittany Hall Gloryhole!