September 16, 2008

Thump Hummer Palin.

That's my name according to the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator.

Via Wonkette ("What Sort of Made-Up White Trash Name Would Sarah Palin Give You?")


zeek said...

I am Seam Marauder Palin.

I used to be Spartacus.

vbspurs said...

"Roller Texas Palin"



chuck b. said...

Luger Otter Palin.

Anonymous said...

"Stick Freedom Palin"

read that, michael? Stick.

vbspurs said...

Thump Hummer Palin sounds like a sexual command, not a name.

Thump we can probably Googlebomb into an alternative for screw.

We all know what giving a hummer is (at least I do, boomtish).

Palin sounds like the "safe" word you give your dominatrix before your session starts.


Michael_H said...

Spine Breeder Palin.

I was hopin' for Moose Shooter Palin.

BJK said...

You think Thump Hummer Palin is suggestive...

"Guzzle Red Palin"


Henry said...

Shove Maggot Palin

Pundit Joe said...

Bullet Bodycheck Palin.

ROAR!!!! Hells Yeah! lol

UWS guy said...

Trowel Ogre Palin!

MadisonMan said...

My full name yields Timber Challenger Palin. If I use only my middle initial, instead of middle name, with no period, then Bush Gator Palin. Add the period to the middle initial (S. instead of S) and it's Ripper Shook Palin.

Timberrrrr! Woe to any middle-schooler with that name!

zeek said...

Just for the hell of it I entered "Trent Lott." It gives the same funny answer every time.

Ron said...

"Steak Leather Palin"

MadisonMan said...

Track Bristol Palin yields Chop Meth Palin! Sarah Palin yields Flack Gobbler Palin. LOL! BHO gives Plate Jungle Palin.

Peter V. Bella said...

I put some of the names of people mentioned or regular commenter’s of your blog. Here are the results from the Palin name Generator:

My name would be Claw Washout Palin
Ann came up as Moose Roadster Palin
John is Stick Freedom Palin
Dell is Wesson Scalper Palin
Chris is Froth Moonshine Palin
Roger is Chop Meth Palin
Zachary is Drill Swollen Palin
Trooper is Shaver Razorback Palin
Garage is Khaki Salmon Palin

miller said...

I don't know why the left does this.

This doesn't reflect badly on Sarah - it just makes the left look more goofy and leftist.

Mangle Blue Palin

vbspurs said...

"Alaskan moron Sarah Palin spends all her time in a tanning bed, listening to Van Halen"

Oh, that Wonkette, or whichever one inhabits the moniker these days. Still the same derisive, elitist piece of squirrel faeces she ever was.

Let me help you out, baby girl. These are the kinds of names Alaska babe governor would choose for her kids. They have to evoke nature, strength and urgency.

Vault Palin
Tor Palin
Front Palin
Kip Palin*
Eilin Lib Palin*

*Short for Kipnuk, which is very close to Dillingham, the birthplace of Todd

*Middle name short for Liberty. The Indi in Piper Indi was partly named for Independence.

"Palin said Piper's name was in keeping with Alaska and sports theme names she and her husband have given their children. Besides, "I've always loved the name Piper," she said. Indi isn't just a snowmachine name, but an abbreviated form of "independence."

God, it's not hard once you know what's important to both Palin. Nature. Sport. Alaska. America.

Wonkette needs to stop hanging around with bisexual hookers.

Oh! God perfect Palin kid name. Hooker Palin. No no. Hooker Bay Palin. There.


bleeper said...

Tarrio DeShawn Jamal Tremayne Darrius LaRokque JamesOn Palin.

Maybe I typed something wrong...

Pundit Joe said...

I get "Bash Budweiser Palin" if I use "Pundit Joe".

Not as cool as "Bullet Bodycheck Palin", but it will do.

vbspurs said...

So far my favourite:

Bullet Bodycheck Palin

You know, I'm rather square. I put my full and complete name in the generator, like I'm filling out some frikkin IRS form.

But that is rather fortunate, because my ID vbspurs yielded this:

Muzzle Mammoth Palin

Christ on a snowmachine.

miller said...

So where's the Barack Obama kids' name generator?

Oh right. That would be racist.

But poking fun at Palin?

Nothing wrong with that.

If you don't believe me, just try the though experiment: would Wonkette post a similar feature that picked Obama-style names? And giggle?

Or would it be a mark of racism?

Marcia said...

White trash? It's mostly hippies and celebrities that give their kids unusual names.

I prefer traditional names myself, but what I like about how Palin named her kids is it shows she's not been viewing every single choice in her life through the lens of how it would help her national political aspirations.

George said...

I am Stinger Assassin.

Let me come inside.

Anonymous said...

vbspurs said...

But that is rather fortunate, because my ID vbspurs yielded this:

Muzzle Mammoth Palin

Christ on a snowmachine.

12:43 PM

Mine gives Hump Gizzards Palin, someone call PETA!!

vbspurs said...

Question for the commentariat:

Which Palin kid name do you like, or dislike?

I don't like the girls' names, except for Piper. I love Track for some reason (it's so manly).

Trig I would like if they had spelt it with a y - Tryg, from Trygve.

Of all the Palin baby names, I think you'll be hearing Bristol a lot more in the coming years.

But just to say that it's a name which evokes giggles in British-Engish...

It's a cockney rhyming slang word for titty (Bristol City). ;)


George said...


Here is a Salon article about the 'onomastic inventiveness' of black folks when it comes to naming their children.

"In some parts of the country today, nearly a third of African-American girls are given a name belonging to no one else in the state."

Synova said...

With my first and middle names I get Snowshoe Man Palin.

Anyhow... my mid-west liberal university instructor baby sister seriously considered naming her baby boy Tyr. She might be sorry she didn't now.

And... maybe I shouldn't go here but only uptight white people and traditional asians *don't* name their children this way. I don't suppose the parents of Sky Moonchild will switch their vote to McCain but what will those black parents with creatively named children think of making fun of perfectly wonderful, if unusual, names? And what about native Americans? Could this be partly due to some element of Todd's family culture?

And even a whole lot of the names that are traditional for uptight white people were originally something like "child number eight" or "boy with red hair."

Simon said...

I can't repeat in polite company the name I'd like Sarah Palin to give me. ;)

goesh said...

threatner thrash palin = molten contra palin

miller said...

George -

That might be true. So I'm waiting for the Barack Obama Kids' Name Generator.

A Laff Riot.

Personally speaking, I don't have a problem with the Palin name generator, because Palin comes across as someone comfortable with her own skin and, who knows, might actually even refer to that site as an example of how she picked the names.

Bambi, on the other hand, comes across as exceedingly thin-skinned and unable to laugh. He's tone-deaf to the culture, and has the propensity to keep doing stupid things such as ridiculing McCain's inability to do e-mail due to McCain's war injuries.

AllenS said...

Hello, everyone! Jeep Pike Palin checking in.

Paddy O. said...

"Filter Skate Palin"

Somehow, that makes sense to me.

vbspurs said...

Miller, racism, definitely racism.

At LGF, I once chastised a poster when I mentioned that Barack's kids' names were Natasha and Malia.

He said they sounded "foreign", and made some jokes about Boris and Natasha, etc.

I replied to him:

"Names are names, I guess. And kids should be off limits."

IIRC, I got updinged 22 times for that comment, and one lady replied, "Yes. And yes."

Thus it was to my horror when I saw that liberals in the media and the blogosphere cared nothing about Palin's kids. They were fair game from the GET GO.

To me, this is the biggest eye-opener of the Left in America today.

ANYTHING is fair game when you're not on their side, and especially when you're white, rural, and blue-collar.

I'm glad the rest of America has been able to see this with wide open eyes. Believe me, it will resonate on November 4.


miller said...

I really don't care what Bambi names his kids, and I totally agree they are off limits.

And like you, I was astonished at how the leftist haters went (and are still going) after Sarah's children.

However, I am not surprised. The hatred of the left is always boiling under the surface.

And pointing it out doesn't shame them, because they have an election to win, and there are no boundaries of manners or good taste.

Synova said...

BTW, I agree with Marcia.

Just about everything there is about Sarah Palin says that she hasn't been planning her life around an ambition for public office. Not her choice of college degree, not her choice of work, not her choice of family size, not her children's names, nothing.

Her decision to run was made later for whatever reason it was made.

We can figure that she hasn't chosen her friends or her church or other associations with a run for the President of the United States in the back of her mind.

bleeper said...

Child number eight? Been done - in Italy - Otto.

Child with red hair? Got you covered. In my culture, that child is known as "Little Bastard".

MadisonMan said...

So I'm waiting for the Barack Obama Kids' Name Generator.

Why not just make one? Or are you too busy complaining about the injustice of it all?

It's a pretty simple database query, although the writers seem to have dumped quite a dictionary into it.

mcg said...

Loin Falcon Palin


John said...

Wasn't wonkett, aka Anne Marie Cox, the blogger who got famous for being a hooker on capital hill and blogging about it?

mcg said...

Ah, if I put my middle name in there I get

Gripper Carom Palin

just my middle initial yields

Hose Hotrod Palin

Uh, cool, I guess.

TMink said...

Not to let this insult go by, I typed a few names into the Ghetto Name Generator.

Senator Obama = Wack Cwac Cwac
Michelle Obama = Ass Machine Cwac Cwac

Trey = Doctor Jones

I thought I would feel better or it would feel funny returning bigotry in kind, but I just felt guilty for acting like a racist.

I am a failure as a liberal.

Thank God.


vbspurs said...

Miller, standing ovation for your 12:54 comment.

That's precisely how I see it too.

The only thing I can say in fairness to the Obamas, his entire life he's been saddled with funny names.

Barack is bad enough, but Hussein must've been a killer. Obama somehow sounds neutral to my ears, but still packs a wallop.

Then he was called Barry. Like in Manilow. Cruel, cruel. Barry is also an exceedingly white name, like Lance. I have never heard of a black Lance.

Then he became Barry Soetero.

Then back to Barry Obama, then finally he "re-claimed" his full name, Barack, like Malcolm X shedding off his slave name, only in the case, he was blessed with a free black man's name to begin with.

Speaking of blessed, that's what Barack means, of course.

Remember when Obama said that to Jewish voters in a Florida synagogue?

Not as egregious as Hillary Clinton pulling out of nowhere a Jewish grandpa.


Synova said...

Otto, Octavia, Gus, Ruffus (red).

Look at a baby book and it will have what some of the names originally described. Last names like Miller and Carpenter are obvious but a lot of the first names that are real common refer to strong things or professions or places... they'd make "Track" look entirely at home.

Pelalusa said...

I am Rust Mustang Palin. I like it!

vbspurs said...

Rust Mustang Palin

Rust Mustang is an AWESOME colour for that car. I like it!

millco88 said...

Flex Gunship Palin -- I'm thinking of changing it to that legally.

miller said...

Madison Man, you illustrate my point.

I'm not sour about it. I think the Palin name generator is kinda funny.

But imagine Wonkette posting the Barry Obama name generator. Would she be as cheeky?

Or would she be Righteously Angry at Yet Another Example of American Racism?

bleeper said...

Art Carver hit the sculptor's jackpot when his parents named him.

vbspurs said...

Senator Obama = Wack Cwac Cwac

That IS whack, Trey.

This reminds me of a new nickname I heard by the Wacky Attacky Left. You know how they love to create these bizarre portmanteau names, to somehow capture all their hated targets into one word?



They tried their hardest (I mean, lamest) with McCain, but only came up with "McSame".

Until now! Yesterday, on a blog, I read the Best/Worst portmanteau nickname for the Senator, yet!


Hell's if I know how to pronounce it.


Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

Charcoal Sniper Palin? I was hoping for Moose Equipment Palin...

vbspurs said...

Flex! That's a great name.

Have you noticed how all four candidates have short names?


That's true of most names in the English language, of course. Victoria, being Latin, had to be the exception. That's why I like Vicky or Vic. Short and sweet (unlike my posts).

George said...

B.H. Obama is Plate Jungle Palin

Joe Biden is Beans Harpoon

William Jefferson Clinton is Chin Trout Palin

Alex said...


Agatha June said...

Gah! I come up as Khaki Salmon using my real name. I guess that takes care of the hunting/Alaska part. Oh, but I come up as Chevy General using Agatha June. I think I like that one.

Zachary Paul Sire said...

Zachary is Drill Swollen Palin

Huh? Maybe you didn't enter my full name.

Zachary Paul Sire= "Crank Widow Palin"

Crank is slang for heroin, right? Classy.

And, Andrew Sullivan= Dust Chinstrap Palin

chickenlittle said...

Stag Tunnel Palin

That's pretty suggestive.

vbspurs said...

Dust Chinstrap, LOL!

Sounds like something a sissyfied man like Hercule Poirot would wear at night, to keep his moos-tachios in place.

I'm listening to Trace Adkins' "Swing" right now, and I realise those are perfect Palin names: Trace Swing Palin.

Michael_H said...

I typed in 'Hillary Rodham Clinton" and got 'Wanna Whack Palin'

rdkraus said...

Rifle Panzer Palin

Damn, I'm good.

I love that.

God, I wish she was my mommy.

MadisonMan said...

Andrew Sullivan= Dust Chinstrap Palin

I get the same name for Hillary Rodham Clinton!

Hazy Dave said...

Well, I used my first and middle names (unlike Ann's use of first and last), and received Cheney Wolfhound Palin. Nice. I think this means I should get on the school board or start organizing some damn community so I have enough experience to be her VP running mate in '12 or '16...

Michael_H said...

If I use only my middle name I get

Axe Diesel Palin.

Lesbian sounding, eh?

MadisonMan said...

But imagine Wonkette posting the Barry Obama name generator. Would she be as cheeky?

Well, write one and see what happens. But I guess in the meantime, you're free to assume whatever you want about Wonkette's reaction.

Michael_H said...

Hey - Robert Reich comes out as

Flatulent Dwarf Palin

miller said...

Thanks. I will speculate.

Wonkette would not be as cheeky and in fact would call it racist.

vbspurs said...

I get the same name for Hillary Rodham Clinton!


Chip Ahoy said...

When I enter the name my family uses for me, I get
Open Aircraft Palin

The name my friends use, I get.
Shaver Razorback Palin

Chip Ahoy gets
Drown Wing Palin

This is why I love Liberals so much. The nice ones, not the bleak-soul ones. They do satire so much better than Republicans do.

Trooper York said...

This is not consistent. If you enter your name a couple of times you get different names.

Under my real name I got:
Stockyard Mudslide Palin

Under Trooper York I got:
Drink Hack Palin.

Ok there may be something to this.

vbspurs said...

Monica Lewinsky = Chap Poach Palin
Linda Tripp = Gamebird Kelp Palin
Troopergate = Drink Hack Palin
Bill Clinton's Penis = Open Aircraft Palin

Okay, I think I've had quite enough of that. Time to go workout. Ciao guys!

MadisonMan said...

Thanks. I will speculate.

Lazy, and a whiner. What a great combo.

I think if someone wrote this same thing for BHO's kids, it would be perceived as unoriginal.

Wurly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lem said...

I'm now Engine Nighthawk Palin.

At you command imperious leader.

vbspurs said...

Axe Diesel Palin.

Lesbian sounding, eh?

Very. Smelling Axe on a woman is a sure sign she says no to hog.

Ron said...

Any wonder why Ann Marie Cox posts the three name generator,hmm, Merkin Stroker Wonkette?

Simon said...

MadisonMan said...
"So I'm waiting for the Barack Obama Kids' Name Generator. Why not just make one? Or are you too busy complaining about the injustice of it all?"

Uh... How about because he'd instantly and viciously be decried as a racist?

Simon said...

vbspurs said...
"Smelling Axe on a woman ...."

That stuff is disgusting no matter who it's on. Most of those body sprays for men are utterly repulsive.

MadisonMan said...

Smelling Axe on a woman is a sure sign she says no to hog.

Or she has a son in middle school.

Lem said...

So where's the Barack Obama kids' name generator?

Pss.. Obama is talking down to black people... Again.. on the internet.

I'm definitely going to cut his nuts off now ;)

Has anybody tried Jesse?

vbspurs said...

That stuff is disgusting no matter who it's on. Most of those body sprays for men are utterly repulsive.

I know right! Please guys, do not wear that stuff. It's especially nasty when mixed with gym sweat.

Or she has a son in middle school.

A straight son.


bleeper said...

Lem, Jesse said "cut his nuts out". The distinction is important, in terms of understanding what is going on in Jesse's mind.

Bob said...

I got Torpedo Vindicator Palin. That effing RULES!

Bob said...

Supposedly Andrew Sullivan tried it and came out with Rump Pumper Palin. I may be wrong, though. I occasionally am.

Stephen Snell said...


"However, I am not surprised. The hatred of the left is always boiling under the surface."

Truer words have been probably been spoker, but well done nonetheless.

A heretofore nice, sweet woman I know sent out the Deepak Chopra paranoid hate piece. I wrote back that "it was disappointing that you sent that" and received an FO for my trouble.

I've debated conservatives on many topics in real life, been told I'm wrong (e.g. I'm pro-choice) and never had any lingering ill will with which to deal. With lefties, it always devolves into malice.

That's how I know, ultimately, that the left is wrong.

Which is not to say that the right is right, but they're closer.

Fred Drinkwater said...

Stag Tonnage Palin !!!


Palladian said...

Churn Scorpion Palin.

I don't like it.

Palladian said...

It's spelled Churn Scorpion Palin but it's pronounced Throat Wobbler Mangrove!

Pastor_Jeff said...

Charcoal Sniper.


Chop Meth
Chap Poach
Chalk Revelations

Palladian said...

"Very. Smelling Axe on a woman is a sure sign she says no to hog."

My friend Luca Turin says that Drakkar Noir was the lesbian perfume in the 80s in France, to the point that French men didn't wear it.

Fen said...

Wasn't wonkett, aka Anne Marie Cox, the blogger who got famous for being a hooker on capital hill and blogging about it?

Yes. I did her. Though now I feel guilty for only paying her 10 bucks. She likes it rough and demeaning, something self-loathing about her.

former law student said...

Krinkle Bearcat Palin

former law student said...

Barack Obama Name Generator

The Obamas gave Malia Ann a Hawaiian name (Calm) followed by his mother's name. Sasha (Natasha) (variant of Natalie, i.e. (Christ's) birthday) is a Russian name.

So, a Barack Obama baby name generator would produce either Hawaiian or Russian names.

You can convert your name to a Hawaiian name here:

Michael_H said...

I punched in 'Deepak Chopra' and got 'Buffy Madeline Palin'.

I guess 'Deepak Chopra' is weird enough to reverse the name generator.

Fletch said...

Palladian said...

Churn Scorpion Palin.

I don't like it.

I'll claim it!

Scott Fletcher, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:

Stick Freedom Palin

Adding my middle initial returns-

Churn Scorpion Palin

That's pretty good work on the middle names...

(Did I mention that I'm a 'libertarian' born Oct 29, 1964?)

Synova said...

"Which is not to say that the right is right, but they're closer."

It's important to try to be right.

It's probably more important to realize that the best a person can hope for is "closer."

Synova said...

About Axe and perfume...

I know a lot of straight girls, particularly teenagers, who really dislike the girly floral scents and who much prefer some of the men's stuff.

Probably it has a lot to do with the quality of what someone that age can afford.

zeek said...

Ron said...
"Steak Leather Palin"

Yep. That's the name you get when you type in Bill Clinton.

Hillary Clinton is "Engine Nighthawk Palin."
Hillary Rodham Clinton is "Dust Chinstrap Palin."

Trent Lott is "Still Hardrock Palin."

Now what if Sarah Palin had Barak Obama's kids?

Malia Obama is Stag Tunnel Palin.
Sasha Obama is Timber Challenger Palin.

Peter V. Bella said...





reader_iam said...

Of course, I didn't plug in my actual name.

I used this variant of my reader_iam handle: reader i am. (By the way, I'm 99% sure I've never used that variant my self in any other way. Well, I'm really 100% sure; yet, I do think it's important to allow for error. Anyway ... .)

The result: "Fire Patriot Palin."

My reaction: Half an LOL, half an " ... well, I'm not sure which '' " to employ ... and more than a half nonplussed. (Yes, I'm aware that my halves are adding up to more than the requisite 100%.)

Now, here's the question: Was the paragraph reproduced below the standard attached graf, or was it (at least semi-)"customized" to the result?

"Yes, the American people have learned from experience that it's not the content of your resume but the quality of your character that will make you a good president. And with the war in Iraq, the mortgage crisis, the banks going bankrupt, China winning the Olympics, and Gossip Girl on TV, we really need a personality cult more than we need policy. Get our your life insurance, your gun, and your credit card, because we're in for a rocky future."

That's a serious question. Because I need to know in which LOL I'm engaging. And which nonplussed I'm experiencing.

I thank you all, in advance, for your assistance.