July 18, 2008

An Althouse coffeehouse.

In case I haven't put up enough substantive posts to give you a place to talk while I drive to Milwaukee for round 2 of the U.S. Bank Open — my nephew's tee time today is 11:55 — this post is here to make a place for the Althouse commentators to roam free — or sit around at small tables and chat.

See ya later.


MadisonMan said...

I did not know that Greg Norman and Chris Evert were husband and wife now!

1775OGG said...

My God, Woman, have you no pity?

AllenS said...

Chris Evert played with bigger balls than Greg Norman.

Paddy O said...

Summer book suggestions:

Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter

Really great read. Insightful. He's the writer of the blog at www.waiterrant.com. Great inside look at restaurant management, service, and customers. Rather than being a dry read, he makes it a story and a manual, touching on his own life and experiences as a waiter. He has points to make, but he exemplifies showing rather than telling.

Surprisingly deep. Great, great book to buy and to buy for others.

Another book is A Persistent Peace: One Man's Struggle for a Nonviolent World. Not nearly as good, in my opinion, as Waiter Rant. Still, it's interesting if you are interested in the Peace movement of the last 30 years or so. He's a good writer, and the book is an easy read. It has some decided flaws, however. My review of it is floating around somewhere on that Amazon page.

Zachary Sire said...

I have a lot of work to do today. I need to write 9 press releases (5 on various models of coffee brewing equipment, 4 on various types of commercial faucet and plumbing components (kill me now), but I wanted to jump in early to say hi and I hope everyone is having a great day!

Once you feel you've commented enough on Althouse and surfed other parts of the web, get out and enjoy the beautiful day (it's going to be a perfect 80 degrees here in Long Beach), go see the new Batman movie, make yourself a delicious lunch, watch a good soap opera, give your dog a bath, have sex with someone fabulous, or go treat yourself to a brand new pair of shoes.

These are all things that I'd rather be doing, but instead I'm sitting in a white room with florescent lights listening to soft rock and ringing phones and the hum of a printer/fax machine.

It's Friday! Think about all your fun plans this weekend, make sure you have a good strategy in place to make the most of your weekend. Or, maybe you don't plan ahead...maybe you decide what you're going to do 15 minutes before you do it.

With all that said, here's the first sentence I'm thinking about for that first release: When you need high-quality coffee at remote stations and you need it fast, nothing will surpass the full line of ______ airpot digital coffee brewing systems.

See ya later.

Host with the Most said...

Summer book suggestions:

Lost Boy:My Story by Greg Laurie.

60's surfer drug scene kid with 7 time divorced mother/no father makes good. Excellent flavor capture of the Nixon era.

Zachary Sire said...

If you want to read about the early days of Calvary Chapel in Orange County and the 60's/70's jesus freak movement (the Greg Laurie book reference reminded me of this), check out this great OC Weekly profile:


al said...

Another book suggestion: Moment of Truth in Iraq by Michael Yon. Yon is a former Special Forces operator turned journalist who embedded (at his own expense) with numerous Army and Marine units over the past few years in Iraq. His website is worth a visit as well. At least if you have an open mind.

bill said...

From Mark Helprin's Memoir From Antproof Case. A rant.

"People who drink coffee are insane, Insane and possessed and, what is worse, willing to be possessed. Most people in asylums drink coffee. If you let them stop drinking it, they would regain enough equanimity to leave. But, no, they don't stop. In fact, they drink more and more, and they get crazier and crazier. They're dehumanized with every single goddamned drop, and although they sense it, they're like lemmings, or buffalo who jump off cliffs. People drink coffee and it makes them insane.

"Note," I demanded, "that caffeine was introduced to Europe in the seventeenth century, post-Renaissance. Why is it, do you think, that the art of the Renaissance and the classical period has never been surpassed? The great heights were reached on angels' wings, not via a filthy corruption brewed from a bean that poisons its own tree.

Ron said...

who's seen/seeing Dark Knight today?

I did...and it's delicious!

bearbee said...

Whaddya think? Worth holding on to?

Smilin' Jack said...

Why can't you blog from the tournament? It's not like there's anything else to do there. I had a hard enough time staying awake the few times I played golf--if I had to just stand around and watch it I'd go into a coma.

knox said...

Summer book suggestion:

The Minotaur, Barbara Vine

and as always, the King of all psychological thrillers,

The Secret History, Donna Tartt

knox said...

Zachary, this probably sounds crazy to you, but I would love a job like that--I pick up catalogs to read the spicy descriptions of mundane items. It seems challenging, but like it'd be fun once you're on a roll.

Zachary Sire said...

Knox- it was fun for the first six months. But after writing about the same things, using the same adjectives and going to the thesaurus to find new ones, following the formulaic structure, adhering to the clients' whims...every day....it's grueling. It's particularly brutal because as a writer, you want to write about what interests you, in your own style.

That doesn't fly in this type of work.

I daydream about having other jobs, even working as a waiter would be great but I'd be making 1/2 as much money.

I should be grateful I have a job and get back to it. I've only finished 2 of the 9 releases and it's already 11:20. I need to have them all done by 3!

Joe M. said...

Summer book suggestions:

Syrup, by Maxx Barry.
No Country for Old Men, by Cormac McCarthy.

Hazy Dave said...

I've read that Tiger Woods doesn't wash his own balls. That was in the funny pages, though - Bucky Katt in Darby Conley's "Get Fuzzy" on 4/15/08, according to the strip I clipped and saved... Gotta love it when cartoonists get something like that past the syndicate censors. I've also got the one where Buck, Rob and Satchel are discussing traditional holiday carnivore meals around somewhere, too. ("Thanksgiving turkey, Easter ham, Valentine's Day beaver...")

Anonymous said...

Ann disappears for two days in the midst of the Brett Favre quarterback controversy. And she claims her absence is because of a "relative" who plays golf.

I'm suspicious. I think she may be in Green Bay trying to beat some sense into the Packer's management and Favre's agent.

That kind of activity requires someone who is a real piranha.

Hey said...

What I don't understand is why Ann doesn't get a hotel for the tournament. Daily 180mile round trips are more than a bit wearing (and these days, expensive!)

All the best for Cliff.

BTW nice to see a stable, relatively harmonious community on Althouse these days. Nice to see it when I drop in. Wonder what I have to do to be known as a regular?

Trooper York said...

Hey those cheese heads can have Brett Farve or Brett Sommers, it don't matter there Bronko. The Giants are on the way to win another one.

Oh, did I mention that the NEW YORK GIANTS won the Super Bowl.

Trooper York said...

"BTW nice to see a stable, relatively harmonious community on Althouse these days. Nice to see it when I drop in. Wonder what I have to do to be known as a regular?"

Buy a few chickens or talk about your hog.

Oh, wait those spots are taken. Well I am sure you come up with something.

Anonymous said...

Zach P. S.

You should consider one of the jobs at the top of Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae.

The basic job description is: Borrow unfathomable amounts money from the tax payers via the federal government at *below* market interest rates, and turn around and lend the money to home buyers and at *par* market rates.

If you made bad loans and lose money, run back to the tax payers and get them to bail you out.

Your pay will consist of a nice large salary, and you get to keep a small percentage of the flow as your bonus. For planning purposes only, you should count on your small percentage being in the 10s of millions of dollars each year.

After you’ve been there a while, let us know if you like the job so we can apply.

Paddy O said...

"Wonder what I have to do to be known as a regular?"

I think we could use an epic poet who comments using Greek mythology allusions.

Or, maybe a viking.

bearbee said...

US Supreme Court Ruling on the Death Penalty

knox said...

following the formulaic structure, adhering to the clients' whims...every day....it's grueling. It's particularly brutal because as a writer, you want to write about what interests you, in your own style.

hmph sounds like graphic design at times. I used to tell my boss ideally I would be to spend half my day in the art room and the other half writing. Bosses don't want to hear that kind of thing though.

I'm Full of Soup said...


Hard to argue with that career advice.Are you a Democrat?

Here is what these Dems made at Fannie Mae and her cousing Freddie Mac (which is the candy-maker?):

Franklin Raines $90,128,761
Jamie Gorelick $26,466,834
Jim Johnson $26,000,000

That is what they earned over a six year period but it still probably beats your current gig and then Knoxgirol can take your job.

This is a Win-Win.

Anonymous said...


Now that we are alone, I need to ask you this: Has it occurred to you that on those days when Ann is away and we are consigned to Blog Day Care, it's always at a coffehouse? Why a coffehouse? I mean, I enjoy coffee and all, but are we not creatures of free will?

I say we should march right out the door, turn the corner and march right into that brewpub over there. Let's go, follow me!

My, isn't it nice outside today? the predictions of rain all seem to have disappeared. Hey, lookit the missing person poster on that phone pole. The picture looks sorta like Kevin Barrett, or maybe Ward Churchill. Either way, it's an angry person. Could be Bella Abzug, too.

Ah, here we are. Let me hold that door for you. Go on in. Oh boy, it smells damp and beery in here.

Bartender, a dozen pitchers for my friends, on my tab.

Now Trooper, about that NY Giants thing--it's part of the Brett Favre problem. He doesn't want to pull a Tiki Barber.

Pass the pretzels.

chuck b. said...

Real Men Vote for McCain

Anonymous said...

I ran back to the coffehouse and left a note for Ann. I told her we are at the gym.

kjbe said...

know an empty lot we could play whiffle-ball?

AllenS said...

I'd like a Leinie. Say, what's that girls name who's twisting around that shiny pole on the stage? Can I have change for a twenty? Yeah, all ones.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Man, that's a good porter. Belchhh.

Have you noticed that when left on our own no one in this neighborhood talks about politics or religion? We just exchange pleasantries, book recommendations, and talk about sports and work. Kinda peaceful, no?

Let's order nachos.

Trooper York said...

Hey if the Packers really need an old washed up quarterback, Johnnie Unitas isn't doing anything. They might as well get the real deal.

Trooper York said...

I just ordered the jalepeno poppers and the fried zuchini sticks.

1775OGG said...

TY: Johnny U's been out of sight since 9-11-02. The Packer GM must be trying to join him at that secret redoubt!

Hazy Dave said...

I recommend the Fatty Boombalatty from Furthermore Brewery. Happy Friday!

Anonymous said...

The Packers GM, Ted Thompson, is working hard to become the most stupid GM in NFL history.

Benching Favre, or more likely trading him away, is about as smart as when the Boston Red Sox traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

Thee were two quarterbacks in the NFL championship game. Brett Favre and Eli Manning. Why would any GM is possession of his mind want to trade away either one?

Especially if the designated replacement is a guy who rode the bench for three years, and is so fragile that he actually pulled a hamstring getting out of a chair, which Aaron Rodgers did.

Lemme try the zucchini sticks.

former law student said...

1. Barack Obama is still married to his first wife, the mother of his two little girls. After her face was scarred by going through a windshield, John McCain cheated on, then dumped, his ex-model first wife and mother of his daughter, with a blonde babe barely half his age, daughter of a wealthy Bud distributor.

2. Obama thinks it's time to end the occupation and let the sovereign nation of Iraq to supply its own security. McCain took on the president and secretary of defense in demanding that combat troops remain in Iraq longer, then return to Iraq on inadequate rest, a policy that is inarguably producing hundreds of vets crippled with PTSD and/or suicidal. He also has two sons who fought in Iraq.

3. Obama supports the six nuclear plants producing power in his home state. McCain's state has but a single nuclear power plant, with no plans to build more.

4. The only question is who is the bigger flip-flopper on gun control. NRA-ILA 2001: Read about Senator McCain`s effort to promote attacks on gun shows in January. John McCain and others are attempting to muzzle your voice concerning critical national issues--including the Second Amendment... Senator John McCain (R-Ariz) is slated to appear in public service announcements (PSAs) in theaters in 44 states, where he will tout his support for the use of trigger locks on personally-owned guns... Anti-gun groups, led by Americans for Gun Safety, have teamed up behind U.S. Sen. John McCain to exploit terrorism in order to advance their gun control agenda. Their first target of opportunity is the traditional American gun show.(NRA-ILA 2002)

Obama is a born-again 2nd Amendment supporter, because he doesn't want to take away the guns or religious beliefs of people who have lost their jobs and their homes.

5. According to the Americans for Democratic Action, Obama is less liberal than Senators Biden, Harkin, Mikulski, Teddy Kennedy, Levin, Lautenberg, Bingaman, Schumer, Wyden, Reed, Feingold, and even his Illinois colleague Durbin. Obama is no more liberal than Chris Dodd.
McCain's record is as conservative as Oregon Senator Gordon Smith's, who boasts of working with Obama for improved gas mileage and a better environment.

6. Obama is willing to negotiate with hostile state leaders like Ahmadinejad and Hugo Chavez without preconditions. McCain will bomb first and talk later — maybe.

7. Obama is married to a woman whose rise from an attic apartment to Princeton and Harvard Law School exemplifies the Horatio Alger rags to riches stories our country is famous for. McCain’s wife is a beer heiress and former drug addict who stole drugs from the organization she founded to provide MASH-style units to disaster-torn world regions.

8. Obama supports higher taxes for those who make more than 20 times the average family income. Like Bush, McCain believes those who profit from war should be free from the responsibility to pay for it.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Hey - remember when you said: "What I don't understand is why Ann doesn't get a hotel for the tournament. Daily 180 mile round trips are more than a bit wearing(and these days, expensive!)" back at the coffehouse?

Maybe she did, ya know? She can blog from anywhere, so long as she packs her laptop along.

There's no truth-o-meter on the blog, so she could say that she's driving back and forth, but actually staying in Milwaukee looking for a single golfer. Or maybe she found one.

They make pretty good coin, and (other than Craig Stadler) most are in decent shape. an okay mid-summer diversion, at the least.

All those shimmering pond photos she posted last week are probably representative of some kinda pent up lust, I'm thinkin.

1775OGG said...

Barkeep, where's my Sierra Nevada Stout? I've been waiting for 3-hours now and the popcorn is stale!

Anonymous said...

Ah hell. Who let the friggin' lawyer in? Honest to gosh, some of those guys could depress a funeral.

Yo, William Kunstler! Turn it off, man, it's happy hour on a Friday.

have a beer and chill, willya?

Palladian said...

Zachary Paul Sire said... have sex with someone fabulous

Hey, what's up, honey?

Bissage said...

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Did I miss anything?

Wha . . .?

Hey! Not every lawyer's a bore-ass nudnick!

Watch this!!!

*puts entire hard boiled egg in mouth and chugs a schooner of the ESB*

Bissage said...


AllenS said...

Bartender. Can I have 5 orders of fried cheese curds for my friends. And, I'd like another Leinie.

Anonymous said...

former law student writes like a current law student that desperately needs a few weeks off.

Dude! It's friday afternoon!

Can't your brief wait until court opens again on Monday morning, say around 10:45?

Anonymous said...

Hey Bissage - nice to see ya! Don't take the lawyer thing personal. I meant that guy over there whose hitting on that Code Pink woman near the fooseball table.

Here, have a slice of this pizza.

AllenS said...

Bartender. Do you have shake a day?. I'll have another Leinie.

AllenS said...

Hi! Do you come here often? I'll have another Leinie, and get her one.

AllenS said...

I have to pee. Would you save my place?

al said...

fried cheese curds

I had never had these till last Thursday. Good stuff.

Unrelated topic - anyone familiar with downtown Cleveland? We're planning on visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on our way back from the east coast and plan to stay nearby. Any hotel or pizza recommendations?

Paul Brinkley said...

Good grief. You boys are gonna stink up the blog for a week with all those fries.

Gimme one.

Trooper York said...

Hey Oldgrouchy, I knew that, but Johnnie U dead is a lot better the Farve alive. Cause Farve totally played like a stiff in the championship game where the NEW YORK GIANTS won and went on to win the Super Bowl.

Did I mention that the NEW YORK GIANTS won the Super Bowl.

Trooper York said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
knox said...

Let's order nachos.

round here they call em seven nachos

Trooper York said...

Of course now the bastards want me to $1,000 for a seat license for the new stadium. Greedy bastards.

I'm Full of Soup said...

Troop - have the Giants seen the size of your seat? Better lay of the nachos we ordered.

rhhardin said...

Tough times in Ohio, fat family goes without meat, NPR.

(via John and Ken KFI)

Best part is a link under the pic ``enlarge''

Trooper York said...

Forget that man. When I was in Bangor Maine last year....hee hee bang her....we had fried pickles. Deep fried in batter. They were surprisingly good.

Anonymous said...

NEW YORK Giants? Nah, they play in Jersey. They're the Bayonne Giants, any way ya slice it. What's that place the play at called? The Boneyard? The Swamp? I can't remember. I was there once. It's in the middle of nothing, surrounded by tollways.

Ya gonna finish those zuchini sticks? Ya ever try Sven Nachos? I think they've got lutefisk on 'em.

Zachary Sire said...

I finally finished my work, and boy do I need a drink.

My c*nt of a boss came in three times this morning, asking "Are you almost done with those press releases?"

"No," I said. "I need about 2 more hours. But I can send you the ones that I've already finished..."

"That's okay," she said, "just send them all to me once you're finished. I'm going to print them out and just read them over the weekend anyways."


I didn't say that last part.

But I am done with all my work and now I'm going to sit here and look at the internet until 5pm.

The funny thing is, I have tons of blackmail material on this woman, my boss.

For starters, she's been having an ongoing affair with the owner of the company (he's married with three kids). Everyone knows about it (a co-worker actually walked in on them once). The wife of the owner doesn't know though.

Also, she does cocaine in the women's restroom every day.

How do I know this?

Well, the accounting lady at my work is a gossiper, and one day when we went to Target together to get a baby shower gift for the receptionist, she told me that last year she was looking for extra toilet paper in the cabinet above the sink and noticed a compact mirror with a big straw cut in half on top of it. The mirror was covered in coke dust. At first I didn't believe her, and suggested that, if anything, it was a one time thing...my boss, let's just call her "Maxine," would never do coke.

But no, accounting lady said. The mirror, the straws, and the amount of coke on the mirror varies EVERY SINGLE DAY. Sometimes there are full lines racked up on the mirror, sometimes there's just remnants. There's always one or two of the same straws (big red ones for 7-11 Big Gulps).

So, still not believing accounting lady, I went into the women's restroom (it was pretty risky doing it, but no one saw) and, sure enough, up in the cabinet was all the evidence. I have been checking there periodically the past few months, and just like accounting lady said, varying amounts and positions every day (sometimes the mirror is pushed to one side of the cabinet, sometimes the straw is on top of it, sometimes it's not, etc.)

And in case you're wondering, there are only two women who work here, accounting lady and "Maxine." I know it's not accounting lady, and looking back at all of Maxine's behavior and bizarre outbursts, it does make sense that she's a total cokehead.

As uncomfortable as it makes me (I hate being around drugs or people who use them), I haven't said anything.

But I could....oh, I could.

I suppose I'm waiting to use it when I really need to. You don't show your hand until it's really going to get you where you need to be.

Now, how about that drink? And a shot of jager, please.

Palladian, if you get me drunk enough I'll do anything.

Trooper York said...

Dude they are all part of the megalopolis area. Do you think Batman worries while he's chasing the Joker that he is going over the bridge into Jersey. It's an apendage of New York, like a boil on your ass. And the Meadowlands are only 15 minutes away by bus from 34th Street in the heart of Manhattan. Just face it, I know it's July but training camp starts in two weeks and the NEW YORK GIANTS are getting ready to defend their WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.

Did I tell you lately that the NEW YORK GIANTS won the Super Bowl?

AllenS said...

Bartender. Get Zachary one, and I'll have another Leinie.

Trooper York said...

Ok I order Irish Car Bombs for everyone. Let's go, line em up Seamus.

KCFleming said...

I absolutely refuse to be the designated driver again. Same goddamned thing every effing time. Plus, this time tip fer godsakes. It's embarrassing.

Anyone wanna see my scar?

walter neff said...

Relax dude I called car service. This terrorist guy will drive us home. He ain't scheduled to blow any body up till the jewish holidays in september.

Anonymous said...

Zach - Why doncha put one of those really small video cams in the cabinet and run a line above the ceiling tiles to your computer? You could catch "Maxine" tooting up on video. Wouldn't that vid be fun at your next annual review?

I'm just sayin'....a little power goes a long way, especially if you get her snortin' the marching powder and also bangin' the boss. You'd have them both.

If nothing else, you could keep the vid as a little "gift" for the HR department, if you ever have to go through an exit interview.

Let's slam a couple a Jager bombs.

Ya know, my secretary drinks Jagermeister and Red Bull cocktails. She gets friggin' blotto but is as wide awake as hell. Drunk, horny and alert, the trifecta for 27 year olds.

(Sighs into beer).

AllenS said...

Geez, I've got to pee again.

Anonymous said...

Wash your hands this time, eh?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AllenS said...

I always wash my hands before I go, you never know what you'll pick up from the bar.

Anonymous said...

Zach P.S.

Forget what I said about the job that pays millions.

Your current job situation is much more interesting.

Are........are there, uh, any openings there?

Anonymous said...

I think that former law student guy left with the Code Pink lady. I saw her up close, near the window. Pretty sure she used to be a dude.

Jeez, my hair hurts. It's going to be an early closing time for me.

Prolly have to apologize to Ann tomorrow, but this is way better than a coffeehouse. No one ever gets coffee goggles, know what I mean?

AllenS said...

Well, Michael, after listening to fls's political rant in this bar, I'd say, he drank her pretty. To each his own. Hey! Bartender! What does it take to get a beer around here?

Ralph L said...

most are in decent shape Daly?
I made a rule when I started college to do no work between 6 pm and midnight on Friday. In 30 years, the one time I broke it, I had to climb a ladder out of the cellar with a 3 foot 2x4 nailed to the bottom of my foot in order to call 911. Cost me $600 and a very painful shot of anesthetic (the rusty, square nail was stuck between two bones).

Anonymous said...

Ralphie--you went to college for 30 years? What the fuck????

Ralph L said...

I always wash my hands before I go
I've heard the French aristocracy does that, too, and for the same reason. The Chinese just use their chopsticks.

Trooper York said...

"I always wash my hands before I go"

Hey that was my favorite Crosby, Stills and Nash song. I think Bissage had a doobie in his pocket.
I think he went to the parking lot.

AllenS said...

Wee, wee. Last time I used a chop stick, I got a sliver.

1775OGG said...

TY: The Boston Patriots lost the last SuperBowl, no idea if another team won it! Doubt it.

BTW: Do you know that the Vikes don't want Fabre? He can stay in cheeseland!

Man, this Stout is good ale!

Meade said...

"5. According to the Americans for Democratic Action, Obama is less liberal than Senators Biden, Harkin, Mikulski, Teddy Kennedy, Levin, Lautenberg, Bingaman, Schumer, Wyden, Reed, Feingold, and even his Illinois colleague Durbin. Obama is no more liberal than Chris Dodd."

Gee. Talk about damned by faint praise.

Trooper York said...

Old Grouchy you mind is starting to go man. Wrong on two counts. Stout is not an ale. It is a bitter or can be classified as porter but not as an ale. Unless it some pussified yuppie commie micro brew shit that's neither fish nor fowl.

Plus the Patriots got beat fair and square with my man Eli and David Tyree with the final drive baby. By the NEW YORK GIANTS who are the Champions of the World.

Did I tell you lately that the Giants won the Super Bowl.

Zachary Sire said...

I do have several pictures of the evidence, but no video. I also told another co-worker (who is also my best friend) and he went in there and saw it as well.

It'd be different if this were a huge company...I probably wouldn't care. But there are less than 20 of us here.

You know what this bar needs...

A stripper.

I have tons of $1's.

Anonymous said...

Okay, okay. Ole and Lena were working in the yard. It's a hot summer day and they're workin the garden. Finally, Ole says Hey Lena, ve got any beers?

No, Ole, ve don't got any beers.

Hokay. You wanna walk to Sven's an buy us some beer while I finish the gardening?

She says: Hokay Ole, I'ma goin to Sven's fer da beers.

Lena walks into Sven's tavern and Sven says: Hiya Lena, howsit goin'?

Oh purty good, purty good, Sven. I come ta buy beer fer Ole.

Sven says: Hokay Lena. Anheuser Busch?

And Lena says: Oh, purty good. And hows yer pecker?

Jeez, that one still cracks me up. Where'd everybody go?

Trooper York said...

And I think Nanette Fabre is as dead as Johnnie U, but you are right that she would fit right in there with the Vikings.

AllenS said...

Oh, ya. Did you hear the one about Yahn McCain? He's so old, that he has to use senior condoms.

Oooo, vat's a senior condom?

Vell, there two inches shorter and come with suspenders.

Trooper York said...

I think they went to parking lot with Bissage. They'll be back soon. And they will have the munchies big time. Let's order some of those pigs in a blanket and the little spring roll things with the hot sauce. And some onion rings.

AllenS said...

Vell, there

Should have been Vell, they're. Damned foreigners.

Bartender. I'll have one more.

Meade said...

Oh. I didn't even notice.

I seem to have walked into the wrong coffeehouse thread. No coffee. All I smell is beer, farts, and something burning. Oh well. While I'm here, does anyone know who won the last Super Bowl? I have a bet with one of the stupid carpenters who says it was Phoenix. I say it was a team from out east but I'm not really sure. Was it Philadelphia?

Anonymous said...

Green Bay won the super bowl. Green Bay won every super bowl ever. All XXIIV of 'em. That's why Green Bay is called Title Town.

If Green Bay played itself in the Super Bowl, it'd still win.

Ya know back in the day Bart Starr's wife's name was Cherry, an' Willie Davis's wife was named Olive. They wanted Paul Hornung to marry a woman named Onion, but he couldn't find one.

Tarbender, a Jack 'n' water for me and a - (what'll you have?)--and a Cosmo for the nice lady.

Cosmo? Wuzzant that Kramer's first name?

Trooper York said...

No his first name was Jerry and he was always holding the fuck. And his book sucked too!

Trooper York said...

The old Giants were the real champions. Look at good old Sam Huff. Not only did he invent the middle linebacker position but he invented "huffing" one night in a gas station on the Garden State Parkway.

Of course Meade had to take it to a new level when he started huffing farts.

Anonymous said...

You know that Curley Lambeau invented the forward pass, don't you? He INVENTED the forward pass!!

Until then, the game was nothing but running. Running while wearing those leather helmets with no face guards. Not a straight nose on the team photo.

There's a huge statue of Curley Lambeau in front of Lambeau Field. It's huge, must be 30 feet tall. There's a 30 foot tall statue of Vince Lombardi right next to it. They weren't that tall in real life, I'm pretty sure.

Doesn't that stripper with the blond hair look sorta familiar? Nah....maybe it's too much beer.

Trooper York said...

Hey you can have a statue of Curly and even one of Larry and Moe. But the facts remain that the NEW YORK GIANTS WON THE SUPER BOWL.

And you will be hearing about it until someone else wins it. But that's only about seven months from now so don't sweat it.

KCFleming said...

I used to act as the roadie for friends of mine in a college bar band.

They sucked. Well, I thought so. I had to drive (my van), and 4 of the 5 got pissing drunk while the 5th smoked his way to gonja heaven. Every goddamned time.

They usually played the songs I hated the most last: Ridin' the Storm Out, then Cocaine.

God I hate those effing songs.

Once in awhile they'd play Freebird, but all drunk and shit so's the only people enjoying it were equally toasted. Jesus. I wanted to slit my wrists.

Every so often one of those goddamned songs comes on the Lame Seventies Rock radio station, some Aerosmith thingy, and I wanna die.

I need a drink.

Meade said...

"But the facts remain that the NEW YORK GIANTS WON THE SUPER BOWL."

And they're from where? Philadelphia, right? I knew it was someplace out east.

Trooper York said...

Yeah that happens to me all the time....you see a bad bleach job and a gap tooth or two.. and it reminds of someone you went to school with ... or some teacher you had or something..ya know. Hey who wants any more of these spring rolls. The dipping sauce is great.
Hey Allens, you didn't take those chop sticks out of your pants did you?

Zachary Sire said...

It's 5 o'clock here on the wet coast! I'm outta here. I'll probably start reciting some of the things I read here today in the real bars (not that this isn't a real bar) I go to tonight. I hope Ann loves what everyone has done to the place!

Trooper York said...

But Zach, don't try huffing farts. It's just not worth it man.

Paddy O said...

This place have Murphy's?

A pint of that is just what I need.

Well, maybe a wee sip of Powers first to get me started.

KCFleming said...

Didn't Huffing Farts invent the transistor?

Anonymous said...

(Stripper wanders over and cozy's up next to Michael_H. She's wearing only a thong)

Hiya Mr. H.


Hiya Mr. H! 'Member me? Melinda? I was in your daughter's Brownie troop at Parkwood Elementary!


I remember yew! You were always mowing the front yard and stuff!

I...ah...don't ....um... feel just right. Would you mind....ah...

(Throws up on own shoes)

Meade said...

Hey i'll catch you guys later. I've got to go do something other than mow the front yard. Pogo, you maybe should keep an eye on Michael H. there. In case he starts to go into a coma or something. Althouse would not be happy if she returns and finds Michael H. in a coma. With his shoes still on.

Here, I'll open a window.

Anonymous said...

Pogo---hey, would you mind walking me back over to the coffee house? I, ah, need a cup of good joe right about now, and some mints.

Yer a buddy.

I can't find my wallet.

Trooper York said...

Jeysus, it's only nine o'clock. And of course you lost your wallet, you always lose your wallet. Luckily I found it. Here you go, it's on his tab. You take American Express right?

I have three more places to hit before last call. Then there's the after hours. Saddle up.

No, no that's not what I mean Michael_H. Wait till you get her in the car man.

Jeeeez, you have no coute man.

Palladian said...

"Palladian, if you get me drunk enough I'll do anything."

That should be the motto of the Republican party.

Seriously, you and I have a date on election day. I'll bring a case of Krug Brut champagne, some John McCain buttons and a stick of unsalted butter.

Revenant said...


He's the writer of the blog at www.waiterrant.com

That should be .net, not .com. But thanks for the pointer! Looks like a good read.

Paddy O said...

Revenant, thanks for the correction. It's definitely a great read.

Simon said...

Palladian said...
"I'll bring a case of Krug Brut champagne, some John McCain buttons and a stick of unsalted butter."

I'm going to hope against hope that this is for no purpose more disturbing than making a nice sandwich.

1775OGG said...

Time for me to leave before the tab is closed and presented for payment, hopefully to mme Althouse. But first, just for TY: Did the Giants ever win anything, eh?

Also: "Ales
- Ales are brewed with top-fermenting yeasts at temperatures from 15 to 25 deg C.
- Ales are matured for shorter periods and at warmer temperatures.
- Ales include a wide range of beer styles from porters and stouts (porter is a heavy beer of pronounced bitterness, reddish-brown to a very dark brown, but is usually lighter in body and malt character than stout) to pale ales and wheat beer.
- Generally, ales are higher in alcohol, more robust and complex than lagers."

Ta ta, I'm off to Wiz! But take that to the bank and cash it!

Palladian said...

"I'm going to hope against hope that this is for no purpose more disturbing than making a nice sandwich."

But of course! A nice sandwich. The question is, will dear Zachary be the meat or a slice of the bread?

KCFleming said...

Michael H.

That other girl giving you the googly-oogly eyes?

Um ...Girls with Adam's apples aren't.

Simon set that one up too easy.
You need to come up with something equally good ...after 2 slugs o' yor fave repaste.

Unknown said...

Trooper York said...
I just ordered the jalepeno poppers and the fried zuchini sticks.

You buying a round of Prilosec?

KCFleming said...


That's for the weak.
Nexium. 40 mg. 5 or 6 at a time.
That's the manly way to take PPIs. Shit, take 10. Who needs any stomach acid?
Pussies, that's who.

vbspurs said...

Ann went 88 miles and back yesterday, and I followed suit today -- 48 miles to and fro...just to watch the Dark Knight!

(It's a very special movie theatre experience)

Let me tell you, it was worth it.

At first blush, it's an action film, but scratch deeper and it suddenly transforms itself into a Greek tragedy. Morality is the dramatist, and we the audience are its actors.

I love films like that.

And yes, Heath Ledger will get an Oscar nod, posthumously. What a shame he died...he was starting to hit his stride.

Anyone else watch it? :)


Palladian said...

"You need to come up with something equally good ...after 2 slugs o' yor fave repaste."

I'm thinking two lorazepams washed down with a bottle of 2003 Ch. Smith-Haut-Lafitte, hold the Nexium.

KCFleming said...

Hold the Nexium?

Hold the railings.
Or hug the floor.
Wherever you first become alert.

Anonymous said...

Ah, that nap on the park bench helped a lot. Rarin' to go.

TY- couldn't have been my wallet, unless the bar accepts Amoco credit cards.

Okay, who's staying for dinner? I'm up for a steak and a good ale.

I know about a house near the U. the owner's out of town. There's a rave going on. Pierced suicide girls. We'll go after dinner.

PWS said...

After a great first round, Cliff slipped a bit, but still made the cut on the number.

Will you return for the weekend rounds Anne?

I might be out there on Sunday.

Simon said...

Victoria, we're mostly likely going to make the trek to Indianapolis to see it in IMAX if we can. Everything I've heard about it has been positive.

Zachary Sire said...

I just did some drinking and some blogging (warning: don't ever attempt drunk blogging, i.e., drogging), and I have to say, I miss Ann! Where is she? Maybe she's ashamed of what everyone did while she was away and she's not ready to talk to us.

Palladian said...

Have another drink, Zach baby.

Anonymous said...

That's it for me tonight. I'm out of gas. Time to head home for some sleep.

My head hurts.

Zachary Sire said...

Sometimes I get emotional when I drink.

I love you all. I totally love you all so much, man. You're like, the best thing that ever happened to me. Seriously, you all and me, dude...we're like, the best thing EVER. BFF's. OMG can we go through the drive thru on the way home...I need curly fries! I'll buy you whatever you want. Wait, can I spend the night...I don't want my roommates to see me this smashed. I love you though, seriously, babe.

Ann Althouse said...

Hi, everybody!

Palladian said...

"Wait, can I spend the night"

Of course you can, my whisper-thin young lad.

Palladian said...

Oh hi Althouse.

Meade said...

Hi, Althouse! We can explain everything. But there will be plenty of time for that. First, how was your day? Here. Can I fix you something to drink?

Zachary Sire said...

*hides in corner*

Simon said...

Hi, Ann. Welcome back.

Ann Althouse said...

1. Yes, by all means. Fix me something to drink. I had a steak dinner in Milwaukee at 7:30 and couldn't have my glass of wine, because I was the driver, facing a 75 mile drive back to Madison. My sister never drinks, but she also can't drive a stick shift.

2. Blogging from the tournament? You're not even allowed to bring in a cell phone. You absolutely can't blog. Can't take photos either. I might bring a sketch pad tomorrow and try to draw some things (in my old "Get Me a Table Without Flies Harry" way).

Ron said...

Althouse! You're back! We missed you!

Simon said...

"I might bring a sketch pad tomorrow and try to draw some things (in my old 'Get Me a Table Without Flies Harry' way)."

That'd be awesome! You did some fun sketches of Posner and Stone from the 7th cir conference, too.

vbspurs said...

My sister never drinks, but she also can't drive a stick shift.

Welcome back! I haven't checked the leaderboard, but hope Cliff continued his ripping start.

BTW, I like people who can drive stick. My father once said that driving an automatic is like cooking dinner in a microwave -- anyone can do it and that shouldn't be the point. ;)

Victoria /whose dad taught her to drive a stick-shift at the age of 10

Palladian said...

"BTW, I like people who can drive stick"

I can drive a stick very, very well.

*leers at Zachary cowering in the corner*

Zachary Sire said...

I love driving stick. My first car was a stick. And believe me, it's one of those things you never forget how to do.

Palladian said...

Goodnight dear Zachary.

Zachary Sire said...

Goodnight, Palladian.

vbspurs said...

I can drive a stick very, very well.

Ewwwwwwwww! I mean, very interesting.

/guilty heterosexual cover-up

vbspurs said...

Victoria, we're mostly likely going to make the trek to Indianapolis to see it in IMAX if we can.

Simon, the trek to the IMAX will be worth it, BELIEVE ME. Do not hesitate. The Premier is not the IMAX, and costs $20.75 for the "over-21" only privilege, but with that huge screen, it just made it so much more special for me.

The first part of the film is a more traditional caped-crusader story. Bad guys need dealing with, yadda yadda.

It's when Heath Ledger takes over the storyline, that it transforms and TRANSCENDS itself.

I will compose a review later Saturday. :)

Enjoy it!


Ron said...

BTW, I like people who can drive stick. My father once said that driving an automatic is like cooking dinner in a microwave -- anyone can do it and that shouldn't be the point. ;)

Raised in the Cadillac factory practically, I was an acolyte at the Church of The GM Hydromatic Transmission. We were taught that the stick shift is similar to the crank starter; good for Harold Lloyd one-reelers, but a primitive idea compared to the '50's Space Age of having buttons on the dash to shift with!

I'm prouder of not knowing how to shift than a New Yorker would be not knowing how to drive!

AllenS said...

Good morning, everyone! I had a great time yesterday. Do you know where my shirt is?

Are we going to meet for breakfast and have a couple of Bloody Mary's?

Ron said...


Oh, hell yeah! Rasher of bacon, eggs, hash browns, pot of coffee....Bloody F'ing Marys...ah...

Anonymous said...

Oy, my head hurts. My eyes burn. My hair hurts. Oy.

Anyone up for hair of the dog? And maybe a nice brunch? Where's a good place for Bloodys, AllenS?

Damn, it's Saturday and I have a list of chores to finish.

It's time for some music. Anyone have Sunday Mornin' Coming Down (the Johnny Cash version) on their iPod?

Trooper York said...

Hey just got back from the after hours and have to take a quick shower and open the store. I can't make brunch but I can get there for the four o'clock game when the wife gets back from the baby shower on Staten Island.

vbspurs said...

Oh, hell yeah! Rasher of bacon, eggs, hash browns, pot of coffee....Bloody F'ing Marys...ah...

My God, we're such WASPs.

I'm happy I invited my friend Bunny Bixler over today.

Trooper York said...

Hey I always invite Holly, Bridget and Kendra but they always make an excuse.