June 16, 2008

Politics of the Penis.

Andrew Sullivan and Marc Ambider bring the imagery:
"One has the sense of deflation. I am a little ... I feel a little tired. Traffic's off a little bit. And everybody's kind of chilled."

"The Clintons are good for tumescence on the blogosphere...."...

"On the other hand, I just can't get it up for this story. Maybe it's just being not tumescent with Clintons."


Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

Girl, you need to be watching PBS.

A fascinating program on Walt Whitman-he was a mo you know.

Voice over by Chris Cooper-fabulous.

He was a dinge queen.

rhhardin said...

The penis just gives a sign of something happening elsewhere, an obsessive interest that can't be accounted for.

Here there's no sign and therefore no interest.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

Whitman also influenced Bram Stoker, author of Dracula, and was the model for the character of Dracula.

A little Walt Whitman info for you.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

OMG-this Walt Whitman program is intense.

I am getting excited watching.

Ambinder is doughy.

Ann Althouse said...

Don't assume I'm looking for more.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

Sometimes if I overuse my penis I can't cum and that disappoints my voracious bottoms. Sometimes when I am doing them they can be so demanding. Harder, harder, harder, faster, faster, faster, deeper, deeper. They turn into these bossy bottoms. I am like bitch I the man and all your commands are giving me a softey.

Sullivan has aged big time-he used to be so cute about 10 years ago. He got into the whole bear culture which is just to hairy and beary for me.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

"Wretched and sweaty-aroma finer than air"-Leaves of Grass.

"Crotch, armpits, nakedness, dash me wih amorous wet"-wow I have to get the book.

Ann Althouse said...

So you had to watch PBS to learn about this. That seems awfully square.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

Last weekend I did a black guy who had one of those tats where he was "branded" on his bicep-that made my penis hard.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

Ralph Waldo Emerson (of course) loved the book even though only a couple of dozen books initially sold. Emerson endorsing the book was like Oprah loving a book today.

Don't dish me Mary-I am square but them reading from the book on PBS is making me hot. I also absolutely love Chris Cooper's voice.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

Leaves of Grass is all about democracy for those of you who didn't know.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

Thoreau visited Whitman in NYC and was suspicious of him.

Whitman's family life was a mess. Alcoholic brothers, retarded sisters, overeating brothers.

Whitman could escape by going to "Fabst-?" The Studio 54 and Warhol Factory of it's time. He could pick up men then. Gay men went there, cross dressers, bohemia, actors, artists-how fabulous.
He began to wear bloomers-which were actually women's pants.

Gee, gays really have been with us for a long time.

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

OK, my last Whitman comment.

He thought Leaves of Grass was going to prevent The Civil War and because it didn't he thought it was a failure.

Palladian said...

I just love that titus is so desperate for new material that he's live-blogging a PBS documentary. Almost as boring as his sub-"Inches"-level descriptions of his fictitious sexual encounters.

Palladian said...

"He thought Leaves of Grass was going to prevent The Civil War and because it didn't he thought it was a failure."

No, it was a failure because it's bad poetry.

amba said...

Penises in place of polls? Hmmmmm. Wasn't there something called the "peter meter" . . .

Imagine the candidates' positives and negatives being presented with that sort of a graphic . . . or bar graph.

Chip Ahoy said...

What are they, blogging from a book store or what? Who props us their books to show the titles by way of backdrop?

(These are the books I've just finished reading, I do keep up)

Sullivan was speaking ordinarily. It was Ambider who threw in the tumescence which changed the words Sullivan just used into double entendres.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone intent on turning innocent language into sexual innuendo as a means of flirting? *sip* Smile knowingly and turn away.

All this talk about cock makes me want to fry one. Ironically, the portions referred to as breasts, these are huge, probably a capon.

former law student said...

titus -- any insight as to why Clinton used the Leaves of Grass as a way to get into chicks' pants?

I thought I had time on my hands till I started to listen to this webcast. Next time I hope we could get a transcript.

Ann Althouse said...

Chip: I agree that Ambinder started it (with "The Clintons are good for tumescence on the blogosphere....")...

But much later Sullivan said "On the other hand, I just can't get it up for this story. Maybe it's just being not tumescent with Clintons."

Dave Hardy said...

speaking of which... am I on the only conservative who thinks Chelsea Clinton is hot?

Tituslovesyouandyouandyouettu? said...

Palady Malady, none of my sexual encounters are fictitious.

I would not waste my time making up stories.

Maybe that is your bag but I can't bother with making up sexual stories. That's not my shit.

Now get to the tiramisu before it melts.

Morgan said...

I'm with you Dave. Although I'd agree with anything that would change the subject even a little. Oh Chelsea, just give our love a chance.

Palladian said...

You're a phony, Titus, and everyone hates you!

Tiramisu? Vulgar. It's tarte tatin tonight, darling.

reader_iam said...

My guess: no point in bringing up other parts of that video clip for discussion? Yeah, I know. Well, my guess and question were also rhetorical.

Tagore said...

Oh Titus, Whitman is so milquetoast. Every step of the way he declares his wholesomeness- almost literally.

I wouldn't have pegged you for a "Leaves of Grass" fan, for that reason. Can you read French? I think the book, titled similarly to "Leaves of Grass" (Whitman probably stole the idea from Baudelaire), "Les Fleurs du Mal", might be more your speed.

"Leaves of Grass" is an undeniably dry and wholesome title. It is the sort of thing a prim housewife finds sexy- a cold dry wind blows across that book and you can tell that its author, protestations aside, has never buried his nose in the stink of the offal of a freshly butchered pig before spilling his seed across the charcuterie counter- and even if he did he would describe it in sterile terms- you could read Whitman to kindergarteners today and it would be a relief from the unrelenting sterile but visible sex of Paris Hilton for them.

On the other hand "Les Fleurs du Mal" begins:

"Si le viol, le poison, le poignard, l'incendie,
N'ont pas encore brodé de leurs plaisants dessins
Le canevas banal de nos piteux destins,
C'est que notre âme, hélas! n'est pas assez hardie."

Wikipedia translates that as:

If rape and poison, dagger and burning,
Have still not embroidered their pleasant designs
On the banal canvas of our pitiable destinies,
It's because our souls, alas, are not bold enough!

Bad translation, but you get the idea- he was banned in France then, and he would be frowned on now.

I think Baudelaire is a better fit (no pun intended) than Whitman for you. I remember being captivated by one of his lines as a child. I think it was "Je t'adore, avec la devotion d'une pretre pour son idole"- that's dirty man. Debauched even. You should learn French so you can read Baudelaire.

The sad truth is that gay sex is no longer dirty or debauched, by itself. It is, as the marriage bed has always been, the sad mating of two dead white fish, brand on the bicep or no.

Anonymous said...

I have it on good liberal authority that Walt Whitman wrote the first draft of Moby Dick.

Tagore said...

I have it on good authority that there was no second draft of Moby Dick.

Tagore said...

Shorter Moby Dick, from the diary of crewman Titus:

"Call me Horny. Starbuck looks good in sealskin. I signed on to this crew in search of sperm and dick. I am beginning to think that this has all been a big misunderstanding.

Whaling is interesting, and involves a number of implements that could be put to better use, if you know what I mean. And the whale oil- divine. There's a lot of history to it as well, though I'm a bit vague on the details. Ahab is such a drama queen. Blub blub blub."

Tagore said...

Followed by Celine Dion Song

ricpic said...

Thinking of Hillary makes me shrivel up.

titusabsolutelyloves you said...

Palady Wadley uses the term "hate" quite a bit.

I wonder why that is?

Could it have something to with him hating himself?

As a friend who cares I am asking you to put the fork down and move away from the buffet.

You will feel better. Happier even. And filled with less talk of all this hate.

I know a chubby chaser club if you are interested.

titusabsolutelyloves you said...

Let go Let God Palady Wadley.

One day at a time my little Porkette.

I am here for you.

There before the Grace of God go I.

Can you feel the shedding of the pounds? I can.

KCFleming said...

uses the term "hate" quite a bit.

Because it is more refined than the unfiltered and reflexive use of "love", now rendered as meaningless and horrifying as a community theater production of Cats.

titusabsolutelyloves you said...

I love you Pogo.

titusabsolutelyloves you said...

all alone in the moonlight

KCFleming said...

I love you Pogo.
You might as well have said "asparagus" or "coxswain" or "gibberty flibberty" for all the intent behind it.

Tagore said...

Dave writes:

"speaking of which... am I on the only conservative who thinks Chelsea Clinton is hot?"

Conservatives tend to be older people, implying more serious vision problems. So I imagine there must be at least one more conservative who thinks Chelsea is hot. Unfortunately you're still outnumbered by "Conservatives who have a secret crush on Harris Glenn Milstead", a society with a surprisingly large campus presence.

TMink said...

So is Sullivan admitting that he is a dick?


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Palladian said...

"and find Titus somewhat amusing in small doses."

Be careful, as the LD50 of titus is very, very low.

Moose said...


Sully talking about dicks.

Total surprise.

(rolling eyes)

Tagore said...

Well, Theo, I think Baudelaire is most suitable for people who are either teenagers or who have the minds of teenagers. He's a bit transgressive, thus suitable. Titus seems stuck at about 16 so I thought I'd point out an opportunity to upgrade a bit from Whitman, who wrote only one or two good poems and also seems to have wanted to rear-end Abraham Lincoln, a truly inexplicable fetish that Titus might sympathize with. Anyway.

I'm 36 and Canadian-American so I've done things that would have left Baudelaire gasping in a strange mixture of ecstasy and ennui. I called that high-school. I mean, if you'd done these things in France at that time you might have been imprisoned for 120 days or nights.

I have yet to write poetry about it, mainly because there are few good rhymes for ovary. I might start writing in French or Urdu eventually- it would certainly make villanelles easier.

Anyway I don't think you clearly answered who you would rather sleep with. Chelsea or Harris Glenn Milstead? I must say that if the Clintons wrote me on the sort of fancy paper I imagine they use, asking me to reinvigorate their line with the juice of the bruce, I could probably manage it, if there were some strong alcohol involved. My children might, in that case, be Presidents, or beavers.

OTOH, I would not actually do Divine even if John Waters begged me on bended knee. Fortunately (more for me than for him) Harris is dead, so it's not likely to come up outside of the annual conservative Harriss appreciation days held on many campuses.

Anyway I am a bit insulted that a man as literary as you failed to comment on my abridged Moby Dick (better than the orginal, I think, or at least much shorter). It's true that I left the last line from midshipman Titus's diary as a puzzle for intrepid readers, but I will give it now.

It's stained with salt water, and hard to read, but I think it starts:
"omfg that is the biggest white di[illegible]ck I've ever seen".

It's too hard to read, so I guess we'll never know what Titus was thinking in his last few minutes of life.

jeff said...

I am on board with the "Chelsea is hot" train. As someone who has seen "Pink Flamingo's" (and for those who have not, the famous last scene has NO shock value after setting thru the rest of the movie) I have my doubts about ".... outnumbered by "Conservatives who have a secret crush on Harris Glenn Milstead", a society with a surprisingly large campus presence."

Tagore said...

See, I told you there was at least one more. No matter how strange your kink you can find a compatriot on the internet.

jeff- have you had your eyes checked recently or are you a lumberjack? Also, does your family have some juice of the bruce?

Tagore said...

I was really tempted to give a good recipe for a boned Chelsea fricasse in the cacciatorrra style. Then I realised that the Clintons run everything, along with the bildebergers, and I have more to worry about than a Chelsea presentation. But my buddy was like- "tasty" when we did her left foot so... it's on.

Anyway, start by dividing your Chelsea into 8 or 13 pieces. Remove the teeth at this point, and reserve them- we will use them as a garnish later.

Heat some fat (I like olive oil, but it's up to you) in a pan that can later accomodate all of your pieces of Chelsea. At the same time spread some flour on a plate and dust the pieces of Chelsea in the flour. Chop off the feet if they were included when you bought the Chelsea.

You should have already made mirepoix. If you didn't you might be a worthless piece of scum. Add the duck fat to the pan, season, and let the vegetables soften. Add the Chelsea pieces, reserving the breast, which cooks more quickly. Simmer for 40 minutes with the coulis of red pepper and tomato and garlic that you were supposed to have made earlier you inept apprentice... you can figure it out from here, I imagine.

Serve imemdiately with a simple risotto or pasta au paremesan.

Note for the secret service: This is a parody. I would never actually fricasee Chelsea Clinton. I prefer chicken.

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Tagore said...

So sad, Theo. My girlfriend (I call her Justine) is here now to assist with my mise en place. She agrees with your cunning linguist sauce, but she is a bit shy when it comes to sauce a la greque. Of course this is a fine preparation of mine which includes brined olives put through a fine strainer. It is an enormously appealing dish ;). But you are quite correct to keep your hands out of this dish- In France I was taught to incorporate them when available.

titusabsolutelyloves you said...

"Everyone hates you"

What, are you in junior high?

Tagore said...

C'est un pat de choux?

titusabsolutelyloves you said...

I think Chelsea is kind of hot. I like the long flowing hair.

I bet that hair can create quite a storm during love making.

I can see her hair flying this way and that and her taking her hair and brushing my hog with it.

I also picture her on top riding me with hair flowing and going every which way. I see her taking some of her hair and putting it in her mouth and moaning as I pound her.