April 28, 2008

Why Christopher Hitchens tries never to wear a tie.

It's "the advantage that it so easily confers on anyone who goes berserk on you."
There you are, with a ready-made noose already fastened around your neck.
Said in the course of cogitating about whether John McCain's angriness ought to worry us.


Trooper York said...

Plus you don't have to throw it over you shoulder if you have to puke.

AllenS said...

You could use a tie as a tourniquet if you were ever bitten by a snake.

Tibore said...

"It's "the advantage that it so easily confers on anyone who goes berserk on you.""

Why you'd let someone going beserk so close that they can grab your tie is somewhat beyond me... but then again, Hitchens does travel in different crowds than I... ;)

ricpic said...

Do your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?

The Drill SGT said...

It is BTW, why police departments normally prescribe "clip on" ties rather than "tied" ones. And you some have proscribed hijabs.

Larry said...

Hitchens might do well to examine his own load for a full supply of bricks.

George said...

Remember—this is Christopher Hitchens, one of the world's greatest intellectuals, according to that survey by someone recently that everyone has already forgotten.

Ron said...

It shows how wealthy you are when you can spill soup on something made of silk instead of a cotton dress shirt!

Crimso said...

Back in the early '80's I was an in intern at GE. The engineer I was working under always wore clip-on ties. I thought that was funny, until he said he used to never wear them. Until he saw someone get a tie caught in a paper shredder.

JohnAnnArbor said...

I've seen shredders with no-tie icons on them.

Michael_H said...

Pffft. Hitchens doesn't wear a tie because he can't button the top shirt button as his blubbery neck will not allow closure.

Methadras said...

Actually, Hitchens doesn't wear a tie because it constricts his adams apple from articulating properly as he swallows his favorite adult beverage. I don't know what that would be, I just know that he drinks a lot of them.

Hazy Dave said...

So, you're saying Hitchens can't close the deal?

Well, any graduate of bartending school will tell you (as crimso indicates), the solution is to wear a clip-on tie! Someone wants to reach over the polished mahogany and get a fistful of your neckwear? Fine. They're standing there holding your tie as you reach down for the baseball bat or shotgun, as the case may be. Now who's the pencil-necked geek?

vbspurs said...

Nu? Neither did David Ben-Gurion, even during official UN sessions.

Hitchens later cites Jefferson on Washington:

"Thomas Jefferson used to note of mild George Washington that there were moments of passionate rage in which "he cannot govern himself."

So, anyone else out there that doesn't know military guys tend to have a temper? It's an leftist idée fixe that this makes them trigger-happy Slim Pickens riding the bomb types.


blake said...


You know, I always heard that as "ears". But I've come to believe it must have, originally, been about the male member. That is the only part of the anatomy that I can think of which, if you slung it over your shoulder, might indeed make you look like a Continental.