• You’ll master the counterkiss, one of the most important kissing skills.The counterkiss.... You wouldn't want to fail to retaliate.
• You’ll learn to kiss for the sake of kissing.
• You’ll enjoy kissing more....
Keep in mind that this is a great gift for teens. Parents can order the lesson for a child who they want to learn how to kiss.Uh, thanks, Mom.
Or it is a great gift to give your significant other.It says so much.
Imagine being able to boast to your friends that you completed a kissing course with the world’s leading authority on kissing, author of The Art of Kissing. People will be lining up to kiss you! And ultimately the kissing lesson is more entertaining that a night at the theater.People will be lining up to kiss you... That's just scary.
Q. Does the kissing doctor come to my home or must I go to his office?FYI, he's in Jersey City.
A. No house calls. Lessons are only available in his office...
No, I wasn't looking for kissing lessons. And I'm really not looking for kissing lessons now. I was just reading CNN.
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33 comments:
You must remember this...
One of these days, Alice...
"You must remember this..."
moNO
nucleo
SIS...
U don’t have 2 be rich
2 be my girl
U don’t have 2 be cool
2 rule my world
Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with
I just want your extra time and your
Kiss
Oregon version:
U don’t have 2 be wed
2 fill my egg
but U better be rich
2 be the dad
It's the dollar sign I’m most compatible with
I just want your extra sperm and your
Cash
Proves that people will study anything to death.
The missionary kiss.
Can we see a picture of this kissing teacher? If he looks like Brad Pitt, sign me up.
Do they teach you how to tell if a hickey is real or artificially created with a vacuum cleaner?
I know that the woman I married (were she single still) would be less likely to go out with a guy who had purchased this product.
Mainly because she would wonder about how he could waste $155 on something so stupid.
I love the Google. The Trobriand Islands kiss involves bitting lips.
I thought that was known as the "brace face".
What do they say if you fail the kissing course? You suck? or...you don't?
If you pass the kissing course, can it go on the CV or do you have to 'publish' first? (whatever that means!)
The advanced placement course involves felching rare clumbers. Allegedly.
According to this 2004 Salon article, The professor of smoochology: How a nebbishy ex-academic who keeps changing his name wound up traveling around the country convincing total strangers to kiss onstage, he practiced law, briefly.
"Q. What will I learn in the kissing lesson?
• Women will learn how to please guys."
Yeah, that's rarely the problem. Just showing up pleases most of us.
"Q. Is there anything else I'll learn?
A. You'll also get a compatibility analysis based on your birth order (the number of siblings you grew up with)"
Uh....what?
Later courses instruct you in what to kiss and when. Thus an MBA program was born! (originally misspelled 'pogrom'! Yikes!)
Yeah, that's rarely the problem. Just showing up pleases most of us.
Ah, with my ex, it's her leaving that pleases me, so I can say "Kiss this."
"The advanced placement course involves felching rare clumbers. Allegedly."
Felching - whatever that is - sounds to us like highly unusual unusual attention. Sets our clumberdar off. Allegedly. But hey, allegedly works. Roll the presses.
Hector Owen said...
According to this 2004 Salon article, The professor of smoochology: How a nebbishy ex-academic who keeps changing his name wound up traveling around the country convincing total strangers to kiss onstage, he practiced law, briefly
Mort strikes again!!!!!
Practicing law in his briefs? Unusual strategy. Wonder what led to his career change.
Remember kissing booths?
Kissing necks and earlobes is effective, and doesn't take much in the way of technique.
Bianca: I'm a maid who wouldst marry.
Hortensio: Any Tom?
Lucentio: Dick?
Gremio: Or Harry?
Bianca: Any Harry, Tom, or Dick!
Hortensio: Just not a Moby.
(Kiss Me Kate 1953)
"Felching - whatever that is "
The best thing to do when you don't know the meaning of a word- especially if it's a sexual practice or a kind of cyst or tumor, is to do a Google Image Search.
I do not believe I could take this course with a straight face. Especially in a group situation.
"...do a Google Image Search.
Cruel, Palladian. Cruel.
They don't call Palladian "Dirty Sanchez" for nothing.
You'd think taking lessons from a nerd would suck all the sexy out of kissing, but somehow lip-o-suction manages to lower the bar even more. Wow.
there must be a long queue for this course right outside their building or wherever the course was held
Mort strikes again!!!!!
You might want to keep to the lyrics-citing schtick. You're more entertaining that way.
downtownlad:
"Can we see a picture of this kissing teacher? If he looks like Brad Pitt, sign me up."
Brad Pitt is your type, downtownlad? Wow. I would never have pictured that. I'd always kind of figured you for...I don't know, maybe a Johnny Depp man.
Uh, thanks, Mom.
The course is for couples only. I'm curious how a Mom could give the course as a gift to a child :)
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