November 9, 2007

Mafia Ten Commandments.

Discovered by the Italian police:
1. No-one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

3. Never be seen with cops.

4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.

5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife's about to give birth.

6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.

10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.
Anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values? The whole scheme should self-destruct.

Actually, these commandments are pretty boring.


Steve Donohue said...

Whatever happened to "leave th gun, take the canoli"?

AllenS said...

Bill Clinton, at one time considered joining the Cosa Nostra, but because of his high moral values, couldn't abide with #2 and #7.

paul a'barge said...

See #9? They're fiscal Conservatives! Cool.

George M. Spencer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
George M. Spencer said...

And if you're a tollbooth collector, duck...


Sounds like a good idea for a book.

chuckR said...

#8 disqualifies Members of Congress.

The Drill SGT said...

chuckR said...
#8 disqualifies Members of Congress.

LOL Chuck,

most Members of Congress, absent a few would have trouble with 1,2,4,6,7,8,9 (especially 9),10

Think about Ted Kennedy, he fails all but 5

KCFleming said...

Is there honor among thieves?

MadisonMan said...

Respect your wife, but abandon her when she's birthin'.

Chuckr, Drill, I don't know why you unnecessarily restrict your view to Congress. The Executive Branch violates most as well.

halojones-fan said...

"Anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values? The whole scheme should self-destruct."

Well, it works okay if you accept that killing people is not always immoral.

Amexpat said...

But to live outside the law, you must be honest

Trooper York said...

Sonny: Tom-anuch! Hey, a hundred button men on the street twenty-four hours a day. That Turk shows one hair on his ass and he's dead.
Sonny: [to Michael, whose face is bruised] Michael, come here. Let me look at you. You're beautiful, beautiful, just beautiful. Hey, listen to this. The Turk, he wants to talk. You believe the nerve on this son of a bitch? He craps out last night and now he wants to have a meetin'.
Tom Hagen: What did he say?
Sonny: What did he say, badda-beep, badda-boop, badda-boop, badda-beep, he wants us to send Michael to hear the proposition and the promise is the deal is so good we can't refuse. Ha.
Tom Hagen: What about Bruno Tattaglia?
Sonny: Ah, that's part of the deal. Bruno cancels out what they did to my father.
Tom Hagen: We ought to hear what they have to say, Sonny.
Sonny: No, no, no, not this time, Consigliary. No more meetin's, no more discussions, no more Sollozzo tricks. You give them a message from I want Solozzo if not it's all out war we go to the mattresses.
Tom Hagen: Some of the other families won't sit still for an all out war.
Sonny: Then you tell them to hand over Sollozzo!
Tom Hagen: Your father wouldn't want to hear this, Sonny. This is business not personal.
Sonny: They shoot my father and it's business, my ass!
Tom Hagen: Even shooting your father was business not personal, Sonny!
Sonny: Well then, business is going to have to suffer. And please, do me a favor, Tom. No more advice on how to patch things up just help me win, please?
(The Godfather 1972)

Randy said...

Am I the only one who thinks that the the moral values clause is the equivalent of the "family values" code words used in the United States?

Chip Ahoy said...

MM is right,

#7) always treat wife with respect.

unless the action conflicts with #5) the availability thing during birth.

They should have asked Asimov for help with these.

Unknown said...

Would having a wide stance and while dipping a finger into another man's Calzone be permitted?

Unknown said...

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

"Hey, just because she's dying of cancer...doesn't mean I can't date."

"We're getting divorced. Can somebody call my wife and tell her?"

"Why do my balls itch?"

"Hey, boy...wanna get hitched?"

Charles Chapman said...

Randy (Internet Ronin) said...

Am I the only one who thinks that the the moral values clause is the equivalent of the "family values" code words used in the United States?


Randy said...

So it would seem, Charles. Guess no one appreciated my attempt at a bit of political humor.